Title: Silent Regrets

Author: Ryukotsusei

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and Yu Yu Hakusho belong to their respective owners. As much as I wish I could claim a part of it, I cannot. The plot however and any OC's my twisted mind happens to come up with though is mine.

Summary: IY/YYH It's strange how regret can make you think, two people take a journey to discover what's really important. Pairing: Hiei/Kagome

Author's Note: I have absolutely no idea how long this fic will end up being. Once again, this was intended as a one shot. Sadly though this will not be the case. Hopefully it will only be ten chapters at most, I really don't want another long project. This was just something I wanted to get out. Some ooc may apply, I don't know anymore. If anyone wants to complain about the angst, tragic events, depression, ect you can save it, I don't want to hear it. Concrit is fine but if all it's going to be is complaining about those things above save the both of us the time and don't bother. Now with that said, thank you to everyone who does take the time to review. It is always appreciated. Flames however will be promptly deleted. Updates may or may not be frequent, it depends on the muse. More reviews may prompt him to cooperate and get chapters out faster.

Chapter One

Kagome stared out over the empty shrine grounds, the first snow of winter beginning to fall. She closed her eyes briefly against the images that threatened to overlap her vision, pictures of what should have been, if only she had been there. Her brother Souta should have been rushing inside to grab a heavier coat and mittens, fully intending on pulling his old sled out once the snow deepened. Her mother should have been preparing dinner soon but first she would have pressed a mug of hot cocoa into her hands and told her to come inside before she caught a chill. Grandfather would be preparing for the first of the snow festivals, bustling about as was his usual custom. But those things would never happen again and regardless of what everyone had said, she blamed herself for what had happened.

Her trips to the past had been important, too important to leave unfinished and she would never regret the time she had spent there, But after her quest was done, she continued going back. The well had not sealed as they believed it would and for that she had been grateful. If only she had known what the price would be for her continued travels. Her last trip to the past had been a year ago and she still hadn't completely figured out what it was that kept her here in her own time now. Or maybe she had but was afraid to admit that 'he' meant that much to her. Her family was gone, killed by a group of demons who had come in search of the jewel and she was off in the past visiting with her friends. Could she have saved them if she had been there? She wasn't really certain anymore. She had come through the well at the end of the massacre and watched in horror as her brother was disemboweled in front of her, her name being the last thing he ever said. Even now she could see the images of the blood on the ground, staining the white snow a horrible crimson color and she hear his screams.

They came for her then, knowing she had what they wanted. She knew that she should have bolted for the well, back to the past where she could have gotten help. The demons wouldn't have been able to follow her, she'd be safe. But that wasn't what she had been thinking when Souta's dying body was thrown roughly to the ground. She had no weapons on her, she should have known better but that didn't stop her. She let them come, knowing that she was likely to die in this fight but it didn't matter anymore. Not at that point. Her power flared to life when they got close though it wasn't enough to take care of them all at once. Tears streamed down her face, both in pain and in anger as she took the first hit which tore through her shoulder. There were no demands of give me the jewel and we'll let you live, they were going to kill her regardless. Why waste the words? She had reached out and grabbed a hold of one of the demons, knowing that she would instinctively call her power forth in effort to protect herself. As expected the energy exploded from her hands but the creature's screams of agony did little to assuage her grief.

She dropped him after that, knowing that it was one demon that wouldn't bother her again. Her elbow came up, catching the one behind her as she fought to get free. Razor like claws dug into her arms, tearing the tender flesh as another clawed hand raked down the side of her face. She had known she was getting tired, expending so much energy at once but that didn't stop her from fighting. If they killed her she wasn't going to make it easy on them. Just as she had thought it was over, that they would claim her life, help arrived though at the time all she could think of was, 'Oh great. More demons.' Moments later she was free, the demon that had been holding her was now laying in pieces around her feet. She raised tired eyes to watch as the four males took on the remaining demons, dispatching them quickly. Her vision had blurred then as she watched the last of the demons fall. She didn't know at the time if the four had come to aid her or to take the jewel for themselves but she no longer had the energy to fight. She stumbled forward several paces, blood pouring from multiple wounds making her clothing stick to her skin. She ignored the concerned voices calling out to her, focusing only on one goal. She had fallen to her knees next to Souta's body and pulled his head into her lap while brushing his hair away from his face. Then the blackness had overtaken her and the last thing she remembered was falling over to her side and the way the cold of the snow seemed almost comforting.

"It wasn't your fault. Blaming yourself won't bring them back."

Kagome was jerked out of her memories by the rough voice that spoke up beside her. She turned her head to look at her visitor, surprised that he had managed to sneak up on her. "You keep saying that Kazuma but your wrong. I should have been here, if I had then they'd still be alive." She didn't know why she was telling him this, she'd tried so hard to make them believe that she was finally putting the past behind her. Maybe it was because she knew if she tried lying right now and saying she wasn't he would see right through her facade.

Kuwabara grasped her shoulders gently and turned her towards him. They all knew what she had been trying to do and none of them really knew how to help her. Guilt had slowly eaten away at her and they didn't know how to stop it. There was one thing they could do though and that was watch over her. He and Yusuke had taken up the task over looking out for her at first, but slowly Kurama and then even Hiei had joined in. "If you have to blame someone Kagome blame me. We knew the demons were in the Ningenkai and we would have been here fifteen minutes sooner if I hadn't provoked Urameshi into a fight." He had never told her that before, not wanting to say anything to hurt her further but if it would stop her from taking on the guilt than so be it. Truthfully it was something that both he and Urameshi thought about every time they saw her. Their petty arguments had finally ended up killing someone.

Kagome brushed off his statement with a shake of her head. She'd seen the fights between the two of them often, it was a usual occurance. They couldn't have known what would happen. She on the other hand had no excuse, demons had came by to claim the jewel on more than one occasion though it was an infrequent occurance. She should have asked Miroku to teach her how to ward the shrine grounds for when she was gone, but she hadn't. "No Kazuma, I should have been here. My family died because I couldn't leave the past behind. I'm sorry, I must go. Please excuse me."

Kuwabara watched her turn and walk into the empty house, not knowing what to say to stop her. "She's never going to get over this is she?"

Hiei dropped down out of the tree he had been sitting in and made his way over to the human. He wasn't surprised that Kuwabara had known he was there, what was surprising was that Kagome didn't seem to realize it. Even humans with no spiritual awareness tended to know that he was nearby, even if they couldn't explain the feeling that they had. It was just a vibe they had when he was present. She was slowly shutting down to what was going on around her, a dangerous problem for someone such as herself. "Would you be able to get over it if Shizuru was slaughtered in front of you and you were powerless to stop it?"

Kuwabara sighed heavily, Hiei had a point. He always did even if he hated to admit it. The one time Shizuru had been injured while they were fighting with Sensui and his gang, rage and guilt had filled him. Family should never be dragged into situations such as that but most demons had no sense of honor and weren't above resorting to such lowly tactics. "No, I just wish that I could help her somehow."

Hiei said nothing to this, he had an idea of how she was feeling. To this day he blamed himself for what had happened to Yukina, for letting his guard down and not watching over her as he should. His carelessness had gotten her captured and tortured for her tear gems. It wasn't the same though, Yukina was still alive, safe and sound at Genkai's temple and Kagome's family was dead. Had the roles been reversed he had no doubts he would have went on a killing spree and then Yusuke and the others would have been forced to hunt him down. It wasn't in her nature to do something like that though, instead she was slowly self destructing and they were being forced to watch.

It was that day, a year ago that Hiei truly felt pity for the first time. It was painfully obvious to them all that the dead boy who she had held onto so tenderly was her brother. She was much too young to have a child of his age and the resemblance was too close to be anything other than a son or a brother. He had been surprised when they had first arrived, seeing her stand against the group of demons who were trying to kill her and doing a decent job of holding them off. He had sprung into action, being the first to reach them and quickly dispatched the one that held her. It was then he felt the dying holy energy that she was emitting and moved a safe distance away from her. She wouldn't know that they were there to help and he had no desire to find out if she had enough left in her to purify him.

He moved back into the tree that he had occupied before without saying anything to Kuwabara. It was rare that they spoke to begin with and he preferred it that way. He watched the human walk off shaking his head. There was no point for Kuwabara to stay, Kagome wasn't going to come back out and it was clear she desired to be alone or she would have invited him inside and out of the cold. That was fine with him, he could keep watch over her easily though he doubted she would do anything stupid. She hadn't acted suicidal once since he had known her, she wasn't likely to start now. He'd never admit it, not even under the threat of death but he had come to this spot every day that they didn't have a mission that required his attendance. The others would no doubt give him hell if they knew. Let them think he came here unwillingly, it kept them from asking uncomfortable questions.

Sometimes she came outside to sit under his tree. She knew that he was there though for the longest time they never spoke to one another. He remembered that their first real conversation came the day that the Inu Hanyou had come through the well wanting to know why she hadn't returned to them. He had been poised, ready to attack the strange male but when Kagome had seen him tears sprang forth and she rushed towards him. He had relaxed slightly then, knowing that somehow this male, Inuyasha was a friend. It had all come out then, the first true sign of the grief she had been holding in as she collapsed against the hanyou's chest. His arms had come around her slowly as he tried to make sense of what she had been saying. Gradually he pulled the story from her, including the thoughts of self hatred and guilt for what had happened. They had sat in silence underneath his tree for a long time afterwards, Kagome too drained to say anything more and Inuyasha not sure of what to say at all. Gradually the sky had darkened and Inuyasha had pulled away from her saying that he was expected back. He tried convincing her to go with him but she refused saying she couldn't go back, not yet anyway.

Once the hanyou had left Hiei expected that she would go inside once more and then it would be time for him to return to the temple to keep watch over his sister. Yet she never moved, just staring out at the sky, watching the stars slowly appear. Finally she had turned her head and looked up at the spot in the tree where he was concealed, her voice coming out barely above a whisper. "I should have said this a long time ago but.. thank you. It helps.. sometimes. Just knowing that you are there."

Hiei had been surprised then, that she would thank him for being there. People weren't supposed to be happy that he was around, he certainly didn't give off a comforting aura. He was cold and dangerous, everything that a miko should fear and yet she didn't. He had moved away from the spot he concealed himself in and into the moonlight to get a better look at her. "Why?"

Kagome had shrugged, she couldn't explain why his presence helped her deal with what had happened. Still, when he scowled down at her for the lack of an answer she had felt compelled to try. "I don't know exactly. It just does, it's almost as if I feel safe with you here, though I know more will come. They always do." It was true, there would be more demons seeking the jewel and she didn't know how long her Guardian angel, or demon in this instance would continue to watch over her. She wasn't worried that he was there for the jewel anymore. He'd had ample opportunity to take it that first day and every day there after as she was recovering. No, he was there for a different reason though she still wasn't sure why.

He could see the question lingering in her eyes and knew what she wanted to know. He wasn't about to answer it just yet though, for he himself wasn't sure what he was still doing there. Perhaps it was curiosity, why were demons after her? It would make sense to a point, mikos and demons were mortal enemies but that wouldn't explain why they were seeking her out. "What is it that they want?" It didn't even cross his mind to tell her that she should be worried, that he wasn't protecting her. It would be a lie if he said that because the truth was, he was protecting her. Whether it was from more demons or herself, he was still watching over her.

Kagome had raised an eyebrow at this, she had expected him to know why already. She was certain he could feel the jewel's enormous power, though since it was continually purified he might be thinking that the energy was hers alone. That was a laugh, she might have an immense soul but that didn't mean she was anywhere near powerful enough to have her energy mistaken for the jewel. Her hand came up to her neck and brought the Shikon out from under her shirt, the moonlight reflecting off of it. Her gaze turned sad as she looked up at her dark guardian, seeing the curiosity in his eyes. Maybe she was wrong and he didn't know about the jewel. "Do you know what this is?"

He had dropped down to the ground and reached a hand towards it but stopped when he saw her grip tighten on the chain, her knuckles turning white. "A pendant on some sort?" He shrugged. Once it was away from her skin he could feel the power coming from it. Power he once believed was hers. Perhaps it was like Koenma's pacifier, something that stored an overflow of energy which would otherwise be lost. Either way it really hadn't interested him terribly, while it was true he sought power he was not going to attempt to take this miko's trinket. He could see the wariness that crept into her eyes and knew then that she would fight for it.

At this Kagome had started to laugh though it was a bitter one which caused him to scowl once more. Immediately she had become somber, and set about to answering his question. "This is probably the most destructive object that has ever been created. It is my burden, a curse that will stay with me for as long as I live. You wouldn't think it would you? Glowing so innocently like that. This is the Shikon no Tama and has been the cause of so much death and destruction. My soul is probably damned, for allowing it to be shattered, for allowing it to fall in the wrong hands and now even though it is whole once more it continues to claim innocent lives."

Hiei had been shocked to learn of the Jewel's existence. He had heard of it before, the legends carried on even to this day but he had thought they were just that, legends and nothing more. It had been said that the jewel had been destroyed a second time, but apparently that rumor had been spread in hopes of misleading those who would seek it out. So how the group that had slaughtered her family had come to know it was in her possession he was unsure. If he couldn't tell that it was a separate object and not a part of her then how had the lower level demons found out about it? "Can it be destroyed?"

Kagome had closed her eyes, he could still remember the look of sadness and regret that had crossed her face at that question. "The legends say it can be but I'm not so sure. If it could be then I think it would have been done before now. They say a pure wish will destroy it but, the more I think about it I don't think there is such a thing. Any wish can be warped, no matter what it is and if that's the case then it might bring about even more destruction. They had thought it to be destroyed once, when it was burned with Kikyo's body but it wasn't. It bonded with her soul and when she was reincarnated into me, the jewel reformed inside of my body. Even if I die and the process is repeated the jewel will keep coming back. At least that is what I believe."

"So you are the one who traveled through time. Interesting." He'd always been skeptical about that part of the legends. He had yet to hear a reliable tale of time traveling but he now knew it to be true. Perhaps a fool would have missed the ancient garb of the Inu Hanyou but he most certainly had not, nor had he missed the flash of magic both times he had gone through the well. He'd dismissed the stories after that and was now regretting it, perhaps if he hadn't he'd know a bit more about what had happened to this girl in the past.

Kagome leaned back against the tree and let the jewel fall from her fingers. Slowly she had begun to relax once more as he showed more interest in her than the object around her neck. "You seem to know a lot about me but I know next to nothing about you." It was true, she would get a strange feeling coursing through her when he was on the premises but that was all. She couldn't even tell what kind of youkai he was, all she knew was that he was deadly when he wanted to be. "What is your name?"

He had remained silent for several long moments. Did he want to give her such personal information? While it was unlikely she could use it for much of anything it was still a means for her to gather information on him if she knew the right channels. If she were to learn of his past, would she condemn him as she should? Attempt to purify him as her calling required? He didn't fear an attack from her, certain he would be able to avoid anything she could attempt to hit him with but it still didn't do to tempt fate. He did that often enough with is job without adding to it.

Kagome had sighed, figuring that he was not going to answer her. She wasn't surprised, he seemed to be the reclusive type. Perhaps he would decide to tell her some other time, assuming that he continued to stick around. Shaking her head she stood and began to walk back towards the house. It was cold out, too much longer and she was certain she would have frostbite. She stopped though as she stepped even with him, taking note of how they were almost the same height. She looked at him sadly for a long moment which seemed to draw his attention to her once more. "Maybe when you're ready you'll trust me with your name. I'm not going to push you for it. Goodnight."

Perhaps it was the tone of her voice, or maybe it was her words themselves but he found himself giving her what she had asked for. "It's Hiei." He smirked at her startled expression, failing to miss how a faint smile crossed her face at the same time. Without waiting for a response he had leapt back up into the tree and began to make his way towards the temple where his sister was likely getting ready for bed. Even though his curiosity had been satisfied he knew that he would return. As he leapt through the trees he heard her whispered words on the wind, bidding him farewell.

"Goodnight Hiei."