A month later...
I put down my plate of pasta I was about to
microwave to stop the incessant ringing of the phone. I grab the
reciever, hoping Kyle isn't canceling on me.
"Hello?"
"Bebe sweetie what's up?"
I smile inside. It's Wendy.
"Nothing really. I was gonna eat something."
"Good then you can come to this open house kegger with me!"
I pause. Lately I haven't been hanging out with her much cause that's
all she does. How long can I avoid these things before she thinks I
don't want to be her friend anymore? I do. Wendy was the one who
understood. She's the one who cared. The one who took me under her wing
and had my back no matter what. Was I abandoning her?
"I'm sorry, but Kyle and I were-"
I hear her throw something across her room.
"Really Bebe! Come on! You are spending way too much time with him!"
"I'm sorry... I love him... We had plans I can't just-"
Wendy breathed deeply into the reciever. I could sense in her voice
that she couldn't help smiling at what she interpreted to be my
naiveness.
"Aw, I'm sorry for getting upset. It's just I
couldn't find anyone to go with me on this one. I did have a feeling
you'd be busy, but I decided to try anyways."
"Nice to know I am your last resort." I chuckled.
"It's not like that-"
"I know, I'm joking." I twirl my fingers in the phone cord and then manage to get them stuck.
"Ok, then I gotta go. I'm pretty sure my old crush
Stan is going to be there, along with the rest of the football team. So
if I don't have any lucky with him, there is a whole lot more where it
came from."
Somehow I sensed her winking.
"Sounds awesome. Have fun." I tried to sound sincere.
"Girl you know I will."
"See you at work this Friday."
I hang up and am given a slight heart attack.
"Kyle! You scared me!"
I wrap my arms around him and collapse all my weight onto him. I feel he embraces me back.
"That's what you get for leaving your door wide open."
We sat down and I offered him some of my leftovers, but he refused.
"Wendy went out tonight. She invited me. I'm thinking of going after all."
"Going where?"
I stared down at the pasta. It was floating in sause. Mom always made it too watery.
"Going to this party. I think it's for the football team at your school."
"Oh, yea Stan went."
"Wendy mentioned him. I didn't know she meant Stan
Marsh. Wow, that's a name from the past. Are you guys still friends?"
Kyle nodded, "Still best friends. I told him about you. He couldn't believe it."
"Heck neither can I." I got up to put my dishes in the sink.
"Bebe."
"Yea, Kyle?"
"I don't want you going."
I slam the dishes down. The sound of it makes him jump.
"You're doing it again!"
He stands up, "Doing what?"
"I can make my own decisions."
"I know I just-"
"Please get out."
He looks at me in confusion. I make things clearer by pointing to the
door. He walks out and I can't believe what I've just done. I finally
have someone to make me happy, but I'm being a moody bitch. I just
don't like him telling me what to do. We've been fighting about my
drinking for awhile now... he says I won't do it anymore if I really
love him...
Dear Kyle,
This is a letter I will be handing to you (don't ask). I just want you to know that I'm sorry for snapping at you. I know you just care about me and I over reacted. You know I don't like being told what to do... I wasn't really going to show up at that party. You know I rather spend my whole night with you. I want to spend every moment with you Kyle. It's only when I'm with you do I feel happy. When I'm with you I know that's where I want to be. I love you 3 xoxo,
Bebe
I met Kyle at his house like he told me to. He called me this morning saying it was important we have a talk. I have the letter ready. I'm no good with confrontation or words in general for that matter. He lets me in without saying a word and points my in the direction of his room. I stop short in the doorway.
"Stan? What are you doing here?"
He gets off from the bed and gives me a weak smile. He looks exactly like I remembered him, but more built like you'd expect a football player to be. I turn around searching Kyle's face for an explaination.
"Maybe you should sit down Bebe."
They make me sit on the bed.
"What's going on? Is there something I missed?"
Kyle and Stan exchange glances.
"Kyle I thought this was about us." I stare up at him, wanting him to explain.
Kyle sat down next to me and placed an arm around my back.
"There's something you need to know."
Part of me already knows, but isn't sure. Part of me doesn't even want to know and another part of me will kill to find out. I can already feel the sickness in my stomach rising up. He was making me nervous. I open my mouth to ask what happened, but it's so dry the words never escape my lips. Tears swell up in his eyes. They slowly trickle down his cheeks and one sticks to his nose. He lowers his head.
"Stan please... I- I can't." Kyle holds me tighter and I stare up at Stan with wide eyes. As if silently pleading him to tell me. To say it.
"Bebe," He starts. "Wendy is dead."
I continue to cry. The room is so cold and metalic. They said it was a male suspect. They knew I was close to her. They want to know everything. It's all over the news. I had to tell them everything. There were so many nights though, so many guys. I know we'll never find him. I feel like I should've gone with her or told her not to go. I should've reached out to her, told her to stop. I shouldn't have let her go alone. She always had my back- always. And I just forgot about her. As soon as I got what I wanted out of life, I blocked out anything that reminded me of pain. She was my friend though. Kyle says there was nothing I could've done. I might have been killed too. Might have. If it wasn't for him, his love, I would've been Wendy. A tragedy on a TV screen.
Dearest Kyle (letter you are to recieve- my own private joke),
I know now love is real. I look around and see people together. It may take a while, but it happens. Some people are just luckier and find it quicker then others. First you have to learn to love yourself. Why do destructive things just for the sake of being destructive? There is more to life. It may be painful, but if you can take what you can from it, you can end up with a beautiful thing. When you least expect it, is when you recieve it. I think if people suffer so much heartbreak, it's because that's the only way to appreciate the real love you will have later. Kyle you saved me. I don't know how you found your way back into my life. I didn't know we used to both have secret crushes on each other. You were right there all along. There has to be fate. Kyle you are a miricle. Kyle you saved me. It could've been me... The End,
Bebe