Merry (late) Christmas! I wanted to put this story out on Christmas, but I got sick with a cold, and I got lazy. I hope you like this tale of stupid things.
All Rey Mysterio wanted to have a quiet Christmas day with his closest friends, have a drink or two, have dinner, and tell stories about his childhood to the gang. But, that wasn't going to happened since some people decided to invite more people at the last second. He didn't mind that because he love more people around during the holiday season, but he did mind that a certain person showed up at his door right now.
"Merry Christmas, midget!" Carlito cheered as he stood on the snow covered ground with a big grin on his face, and a bottle of egg nog in his hand in one hand, and an apple in the other. So, Rey did the only thing that only he could do in a situation like this.
"...Sorry! You got the wrong house! No Mysterio lives here!" he lied, then he slammed the door in the fluffy haired wrestler's face. The red and green masked wrestler sighed in relief as he turned around to join his friends in the singing of the Christmas songs, and laughing at something someone did stupid to. Only to see that everything stopped, and stared daggers at him.
"Rey?" Batista said with his hands on his hips, and a Satan hat on top of his head. Rey cursed to himself while he looked up at the gaint. He knew what he was coming, and he knew better to stop it. "Who was that?" Batista continued to ask.
"Carlito." replied Rey.
"Rey! I'm surprise at you! Why did you slam the door on his face! You never do something like that on Christmas. I thought you was more kind than that." spoke up Torrie Wilson, sitting Ric Flair's lap.
"But!" Rey protested, but was cut off by more people yelling their own protest at the host of the evening. The more they talked, the more Rey felt bad. "Fine! I'll let the bastard in! Happy?" he shouted, waving his arms up and down like most anime characters do when they want to be funny while making a point. He yanked opened the door, and Carlito was still standing there.
"I knew you would let me in." said Carlito. With a growl, Rey stepped to the side to allowed Carlito in. Carlito stopped to take off his winter coat, and hat (how the hell can he put a hat on top of that hair!), then handed them to Rey.
"I'll just put this in the kitchen." he said, holding the bottle. With a nod from Rey, he went to the kitchen.
Once in the kitchen, Rey shook his fist in the air. "Okay! Who invited him here?" he demanded.
All eyes fell on Chris Matters, who was at the Christmas tree with his gift in his hand, shaking it to guess what he got while wearing pjs with the feet. He glanced up at the crowd, then he quickly stood up as he blushed a nice pink color on his face. "Well, he's a friend. And I didn't want him spend Christmas alone. His flight to go back home was canclled, so I figure that you wouldn't mind, Rey." he explained.
"Come on, Rey! Let the puff ball stay! He's not hurting anything. Besides, if you let Randy Orton in, you can let Carlito stay." Edge added, playing with Lita's breasts as she giggled.
"Yeah!" Randy cheered with a mouthful of gingerbread cookies in his mouth. "Hey, if the author of this story is going to be nice to me for once, you can be nice to Carlito." he continued.
Trish stood up, only to have Mickie James hugging her legs. With a sigh of defeat, she shook her head. "Also, no one is going to die in this story anyway. This is Christmas! Hell, even Christy is safe."
"But, she's not here," pointed out Stacy. She looked around in shock and said, "Oh my God! I'm back? Wow! I haven't been on TV so long, even I thought I was fired!" With a shrug, she went back to teasing yet another superstar.
Meanwhile, Matt Hardy patted the sniper gun with a grin as he glanced over at Edge and Lita. Only to feel a heavy hand on his shoulder. He looked at the hand, and his eyes trailed up to the owner, Kane.
"What did we just say! No killing in this story!"
"But!"
"Matt."
"But."
"Matt."
"But, Kane!"
"Do I have take your toy away?" Kane warned him, eyeing the gun (which is still in it's wrapping paper).
"No! I'll be good!" Matt cried out, then he toss it back under the tree...only to have it shoot Edge at the back of his leg. Both Kane and Matt got dot eyes, and moved away as the Canadian screamed out in pain, and his woman trying to help him.
All eyes fell at the dark corner of the house, where Billion Dollar Princess sat at. "I say no killing. I didn't say anything about hurting someone as long it's an accident." she explained herself, then she faded away.
"...Well, I'm done drinking this." Triple H said, putting his glass of wine on the table.
"Honey, you was done a long time ago." Stephanie told him, covering her face.
"What the hell you're talking about?" he questioned her.
"Honey,...you're wearing nothing, but your underwear."
Triple H gave her a puzzled look. "I am?" he looked down, and he was in his underwear. "Well, I be damned! I am! Cool!"
"At least he has clothes on. Last year, he was running around naked! What a cold Christmas it was." Kurt spoke, shaking his head in shame.
Rey rubbed his temples. Seconds thoughts about letting these people in his house started to come in his mind. Giving up on thinking, he sat down. "Whatever! Dinner is coming up soon. But, where in the hell is Carlito!" he asked.
Everyone shrugged their shoulders, until Carlito entered the living room, drinking the egg nog he brought, and wearing nothing, but a bow on his...you know. "Merry Christmas, everyone! I got a gift for you all!" He jumped on the table, and started to dance.
"Damnit! Not again! It's the same repeat from last year!" screamed out Kurt, running away from the table.
All the divas looked at each other, then they shrugged. At the same time, they took out their cameras, and took pictures.
"Carlito! What the fuck you think you're doing?" Rey shouted.
"Doing my Christmas dance! I already slept with the turkey."
"...What?"
"I screwed the trukey. I thought it was you, Rey." Carlito said. He jumped on top of Rey, and held him down. "I want you to be mine for Christmas."
"Noooo!"
Yu-Gi-oh!'s Malik walked in the room. "Now you know how I feel. Every female fan fiction writers always have a story where I'm getting screw by someone, or raped, or raping someone. It nevers end." He finally realized that everyone stared at him.
"How the hell can an anime character be here!" Randy demanded, still eating cookies and getting fat.
"How the hell can you bitched the Undertaker!" Malik asked him.
"...You got me there."
And Malik walked out of the room, followed by the male cast of Yu-Gi-Oh! "Shit! Not again." On that note, he started to run.
"Now, where was I? Oh yeah! Taking you!" Carlito said to Rey, then he started to touch his hot spots.
"Nooo!" Rey repeated.
"Rey! Rey! Wake up!" Chavo shouted as he slapped his friend across the face a few times, until he finally woke up.
"What! What the fu-! Where am I?" Rey questioned, shaking in fear. He looked around, and saw all his co-workers looking down at him with looks of worry on their faces.
"Good! You're fine." Booker T said, holding his heart and smiled.
"Yeah, I thought you was done, homes." added Super Crazy.
"What happened?"
"You had too much to drink, then you pass out. You was screaming that Carlito was going to rape you." Benoit reported.
Chavo helped Rey to his feet, then Rey realized that he was on the plane. "Oh! Good! I dreaming that I holding a Christmas party at my house, Carltio got drunk, raped the turkey, then he try to do the same thing to me. Funny, right?"
Everyone laughed nervously as some rubbed the back of their heads. "Yeah! Funny." some agreed.
Carlito walked out the bathroom and said, "Dudes! Why did I woke up in the bathroom with a turkey beside me with some white sticky stuff in the hole?" he questioned his friends, looking like he had too much to drink also.
"Yeah, and why my ass hurts?" Rey asked too. He started to rub it.
"Oh crap! They're getting their memories back!" Shawn cried in a panic. "Someone do something!"
Trish took out a pen shaped object out of her pocket, and a pair of sunglasses. "Glasses everyone." she ordered. Everyone on the plane, but Rey and Carlito took out their glasses, and put them over their eyes.
"Hey!" protested Carlito.
Before he or Rey could say anything else, Trish pressed the button, and a bright flash lighted the room. Leaving the two Latinos standing there with dumb looks on their faces. "What are we going to tell them?" she asked.
"The same thing we told Goldust and Christian two years ago. Christian fell on something sharp that hurted his ass, and Goldust...had sex with the turkey." responded Triple H.
"But, Goldust did had sex with the turkey before he had sex with Christian." Flair reminded him.
"Okay, then we just say that Randy was making cupcakes in the turkey because he was drunk, and the white stuff is icing." Triple H replied.
"Agree!" everyone shouted.
"But," Chris Matters started, then he paused to look at the reader. "What about him/her? They know too much." he finished, pointing at the reader, and still wearing the pjs with the feet.
Trish took out the pen, and walked up to the screen. "Glasses everyone." she ordered again. Looking at the reader, she smiled. "Don't worry. It won't hurt."
Then she pressed the button.
The End