Chapter 14: Ask for Answers

A/N: OH MY GOD! I finally finished this story. I know there was a huge hiatus there for a while.. and I feel really badly about that.. But here it is! The final chapter! Thank you to all of you who have read it and reviewed. I hope you enjoyed our time together.. I know I did! Cheers!

Draco watched with a broken heart as Harry ran down the corridor. He continued to yell plaintively, hoping against hope that Harry would change his mind and come back. He knew it was no use though and after he could no long see Harry anymore, Draco went back inside and closed the door. The candles he had lit still flickered in the dark classroom. Draco crossed the floor and blew them out one by one. The light smoke from their wicks filled the air and Draco was surrounded by darkness again.

Draco felt exhausted. He wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball and forget that any of this had ever happened. A large part of him wished that he could go to the moment he wrote Harry that first letter and slap his past self across the face. He wondered if the old adage "it is better to have loved and lost, then never loved at all" was actually true. He thought that maybe never having had Harry would be easier than dealing with losing him. He knew he would never be able to get Harry's look of disgust out of his head.

Draco left the deserted classroom and walked back to his dormitory. He walked as if he was carrying the weight of the world. He knew that he had finally screwed up big enough that Harry would never be his. He had blown it. When he came to the entrance to Slytherin common room he stopped. He did not feel like seeing people. Least of all Blaise and Pansy. He knew that they would have questions. Question that he did not want to answer. They would have pity in their eyes. The whole scene made Draco's stomach flip with shame.

He knew, however, that he could not avoid them forever. So he put on the bravest face he could muster and walked into the common room. Surprisingly and most fortunately for Draco the place seemed almost deserted. A few first years huddled near the fire and a couple fifth years gossiped in the corner, but apart from that the common room was empty. Thanking his lucky stars, Draco sighed softly and walked up the staircase towards his room.

Upon entering his room he realized he had not been so lucky. He had been foolish to believe Blaise and Pansy would leave him alone when there was fresh gossip. Hearing the door open Pansy stopped her pacing and looked at him. Blaise was sprawled out casually on Draco's bed and gave him a small nod but continued reading a magazine he was reading.

"SO? What happened? What did Potter say?" Pansy shrieked in a gleeful voice. "Are you going to be the future Mr. Draco Potter?"

"Really Pansy? Are you blind woman?" Blaise drawled from behind his magazine. "Does that look like a happy Draco?"

"Well now that you mention it... Draco honey.. what happened?" Pansy asked moving closer to take his hand and pull him to a chair next to the fireplace. Draco could feel the pity starting to form in her eyes.

"Completely fucking terrible." He said at last.

"Can you expand upon that?" Blaise asked finally putting down the magazine and sitting up.

"I told him the truth. Like a total idiot I laid myself bare. And what did he do? He ran. He ran away from me as fast as he could. Just like I knew he would." Draco finished lamely.

"Well, come now. It was probably a lot to take in.. give the boy a chance to catch his breath Draco." Pansy said putting her small hand on his shoulder in a supportive way.

"Yeah, Draco.. that's a lot for anyone to hear." Blaise added.

"I guess you're right... Would you guys mind leaving for a while. I think I need to be alone for a while. Clear me head.. and all that." Draco said rising from his chair but not looking at them.

"Of course! No Problem, right Blaise? You take all the time you need, honey." Pansy said in an overly cheerful way as she moved towards the door. Blaise remained motionless. "Come on, Blaise!"

Finally taking his eyes off Draco, Blaise followed Pansy out of the room and closed the door behind him. Draco looked around the empty room and felt hopeless. He wasn't sure what he had actually expected to happen, but it wasn't that. Draco threw himself down on the bed with a sigh. He supposed that Pansy and Blaise could be right, maybe Harry did need time to come terms with everything that had happened. Maybe once he had some time by himself he would come and find Draco and tell him that he was sorry for running... and then.. and then nothing. Draco refused to let himself get carried away with such thoughts. He refused to get his hopes up again.

Instead Draco sat up and removed his shoes and his shirt. Took off his trousers and put them neatly on the back of his chair. He walked to the door and used a special locking charm that his mother had taught him. With a swish of his wand he extinguished all the candles that had lit his room. He walked to the bed and pulled back the covers and sank into his bed. He pulled the blankets up above his head and let the world and all his troubles disappear.

When Harry arrived back at the common room he felt better than he had in years. He wasn't sure what had changed. He knew that after everything that had happened and with Malfoy's shocking revelation he should be feeling worse than ever. For some reason his whole body felt lighter and freer. As if he had finally let go of the past that had haunted him. He smiled to himself and heard his stomach rumble. He was hungry. Really really hungry.

Harry maneuvered as fast as possible through the portrait hole. When he got to the common room it was mostly empty but the two people he was hoping to see were there. Ron and Hermione sat at one of the small tables near the fireplace. Hermione was reading her textbook and Ron was playing with his quidditch models. Every so often one of them would glance over at the other and smile. Harry felt himself smile too and wondered how he could have shut them out for so long.

Hermione was the first to notice him standing in the doorway and her eyes immediately lit up. However, her eyes quickly narrowed in confusion and suspicion. Harry realized it must have been a long time since he had looked happy and felt a sudden pang of guilt.

"Have you guys eaten?" He asked them hoping that they hadn't.

"Not yet.. we were going to go down in a couple of minutes. Have you, mate?" Ron asked looking up from his models. He didn't seem suspicious at all. Harry wondered if Ron had even noticed the change that had taken place in him over the last year.

"No, I haven't. But I am starved! Want to go now?" Harry asked enthusiastically. He was a bit over excited for the food that was waiting for him in the Great Hall. It felt like he hadn't eaten in months.

"Yeah sure! Just let us pack up first." Hermione said smiling as she began to pack up the books she had been pouring over. "Ready to go?"

"More than you know." Harry said as they set off for dinner.

When they arrived at the Gryffindor table it felt like coming home. Harry looked around at his friends and could feel the excitement a Hogwarts feast had caused when he was a child. He felt as if he had come back to life or awoken from a coma or possibly had a near death experience. Everything seemed sparkly and new and fresh. It was as if bit by bit he was returning to normal. Harry heaped his plate full of mashed potatoes and turkey and butter rolls and peas and treacle tart and began shoveling the food into his mouth.

"Whoa Harry! Slow down, mate. Only one of us can eat like a pig and you know that I've got it covered." Ron said with a smile. "Why are you so hungry?"

"I don't know. I feel like I haven't eaten in days." Harry said with a smile and continued to heap food into his mouth.

Hermione watched Harry eating with with mixed feelings. A large part of her was overjoyed to see the old Harry back. She wanted to throw her arms around him and never let him out of her sight. Another part of her wondered what caused this radical shift. She felt suspicious and wanted to know what wasn't he telling them. She wondered if Draco was somehow involved. As she continued to watch Harry she realized it really didn't matter. If whatever had happened was what Harry had needed then she wouldn't worry about it. She was just happy to have her friend back.

Hermione glanced over to the Slytherin table looking for Draco but he was not there. Her eyes instead landed on Pansy Parkinson. Their eyes met and the dark haired Slytherin smiled. Hermione was startled at first but returned the smile shyly.

"Want some gravy, Harry?" She asked and picked up a large spoon to drizzle the warm sauce on her potatoes.

Harry's eyes lit up as if he had forgot gravy had existed. His mouth still too full to talk he simply nodded his head up and down and reached for the spoon. Hermione laughed and passed it to him. She felt more content than she had in a long time. It felt like life was finally starting to stabilize and return to normal. Ron looked at Harry eating and then back at Hermione and they shared a pleasant smile. Harry had come back to them.

Harry woke up the next morning feeling peaceful and content. After the feast he had gone straight to bed with a full belly and slept for fifteen hours. It was if he had hibernated or gone into a food coma. He was surprised that he had slept through the night without waking once. He felt like someone had slipped a sleep potion into his water glass. It had been a blissful and easy sleep, something he had not experienced since the war.

Harry sat up and stretched and looked in the mirror. The color had returned to his skin and his cheeks didn't look quite as hollow. His eyes sparkled back at him and he smiled. He stood up and ran his hands through his hair. He was excited to go to breakfast with Ron and Hermione but figured he should take a shower first. He grabbed a towel and walked to the bathroom.

As the hot water hit naked skin he sighed in happiness. He closed his eyes and let the steam fill his nostrils. He could feel that water washing away any remnants of stress and unhappiness.

As Harry showered he began to wonder how he had lived so long in this state. How he had let depression consume him and turn him into someone completely different. He felt regret and shame settle in his stomach as he recalled the way he shut out his friends and allowed himself to be abused by people he didn't know. The whole concept seemed alien to him in this moment. It was if it something someone else had done. Not he, not Harry, but some other sad boy.

An image of Draco Malfoy's heart broken face came to his mind. He was surprised by the pain that had shown out of the other boy's grey eyes. Could Harry really have caused that? Could his refusal to acknowledge Darco's confession of love really have made the boy cry. Harry felt a wave of guilt wash over him. Maybe he had reacted a bit rashly. Could Draco really love him? Was it possible that Draco hadn't created Sebastian to humiliate him? But had actually done it to get closer? Harry's mind was buzzing with questions. He knew the only way to get answers was to talk to Draco, but he dreaded having to seek out the blonde. Who knew if Draco would even talk to Harry after what had happened the previous day.

Harry got out of the shower and dressed quickly. He decided he must find Draco and fast, before his resolution waned. He wondered how on earth he was going to find the blonde. He suddenly remembered the map and ran to his room. He found the map at the very bottom of his trunk. It had been quite awhile since he had used the thing and felt a pang of nostalgia for his more reckless and mischievous younger days.

His finger roamed over the maps wrinkled surface and quickly found the dot labeled Draco Malfoy. He was out in gardens. Harry was thankful to see that the boy was all alone. Harry didn't want an their conversation.

Harry pictured the boy sitting in the rose garden reading a book by himself. He could see Draco's blonde hair shining in the sun and it made his stomach flip. He remembered the gentle kisses and soft caresses he had experienced with Sebastian.. or rather Draco. If he had fallen so fast for Sebastian why would it be different with Draco? The only difference with Sebastian had been the lack of a messy history. Harry thought of the way Draco's lips had kissed him. So passionately and so tender that it made his stomach flipp again.. was it possible he had feelings for Draco Malfoy? Harry smiled at the thought, there was definitely a possibility.

Harry folded that map and put in his pocket, grabbed a warm coat and left the room. His stomach was in knots and half considered just going and forgetting about it. But he knew that he would always wonder what might have been he and so he set off to find Draco.

Draco sat by himself on a bench in the rose gardens. It was his favorite place at Hogwarts. His mother had kept a beautiful rose garden at the manor. She had delighted in planting new variations of roses and making them grow. On weekends she would go to the garden and work for hours. Afterwards she would cut beautiful bouquets and put them around the house. When she was done Draco would hug her and breathe in the smell of her perfume and the roses and the dirt. It was the smell of love, peace and home.

Draco wished that his mother was there to tell him what to do. She always gave the best advice and could make even the hardest problems seem simple. She would know what to do next. She would know if there was any reason to hope or if he should just move on. Draco supposed that there probably was no hope. Maybe the best thing to do would be to move on and try to forget everything. It hurt just thinking about it but Draco had seen the way Harry had looked at him. The hatred that had shown in the other boys eyes. The disgust when Draco had confessed his love.

Draco got off the bench and walked over to one of the rose bushes and used his wand to cut one off the branch. He held the rose up to his nose and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and felt his heart break again. He wanted Harry, he wanted all of him. Draco took the rose down from his nose and started as he saw a black shape approaching the gardens.

Draco was accustomed to having privacy when in the rose garden. He knew it was a beautiful part of the castle but people rarely came there in the winter. Even though the bushes were charmed to bloom year round, they were more enjoyable during the summer when it was warm. Draco did not want to share his sanctuary with another person. He hoped that they would continue walking and visit the tulips or the orchids instead.

To Draco's immense disbelief he recognized the person walking directly towards him. It was probably the last person he had expected to see in the rose gardens that morning. Draco could feel his heart leap into his throat and he thought he might pass out. Was Harry looking for him? Would this end in a fight? Draco didn't think he could take another verbal sparring match. It hurt too much.

Harry was almost ten feet in front of Draco when he stopped and just starred at him. Draco couldn't detect any anger or frustration from the boy. He wasn't in the hateful rage he had been the day before. This could be a good sign.

"Draco?" Harry said cautiously, he seemed anxious.

"Um, yes?" Draco responded obviously confused.

"Can I talk to you? I mean I want to talk to you." Harry said not meeting Draco's eyes.

Draco didn't know how to feel, except for nervous. Did he want to know what Harry had to say? Would this end well? He shouldn't get his hopes up. Oh, but Harry looked so cute standing in front of him. Draco wanted nothing more than the close the space between them and kiss those pink lips. But he couldn't think like that, too dangerous.

"Al-alright. What do you want to talk about?" Draco stammered slightly as Harry got closer. They were only a foot a part now and Draco could reach out and touch him he wanted.

"Did you mean what you said earlier? I mean, when you told me you loved me. Was that a lie? A trick?" Harry asked his voice rising slightly with nerves or anger, Draco couldn't tell.

"I was telling the truth. I- I love you, Harry. I have for a very long time." Draco said his eyes falling back to the rose in his hands. He turned it over a couple times to avoid looking Harry in the face.

"Oh." Harry said quietly.

Draco felt disappointment sink in with tone of Harry's voice. He knew it was stupid to get his hopes up in the first place.

"Well, I am sorry. I don't love you." Harry said finally raising his eyes to look at Draco. "We haven't had the best relationship in the past. You have- we both have done some pretty nasty things to each other. I can't just start loving you after all of that."

If it was possible Draco's heart was smashed into a million more pieces. He knew that their past hadn't been the best, but he had gotten past that hadn't he? They were just children at the time.. it was so long ago.

"But I can try to love you in the future.." Harry said with a small smile.

"What?" Draco said his eyes widening in surprise.

"I don't love you now, but I have a feeling I could someday. I think I like you now... and I'd be willing to see where that.. erm.. could go?" Harry said

"Are you saying you want to.. to be with me?" Draco asked not wanting to jinx Harry's answer.

"I guess that is what I am saying." Harry said stepping a little bit closer to the blonde in front of him. "Would it be really cliche if I kissed you now?"

"In the best way possible." Draco said smiling like a giddy idiot.

He shyly put his hands on Harry's coat and moved his body closer. Their lips met in a timid but passionate kiss and Draco's heart soared. He was surprised how quickly it had mended itself. He heard Harry moan slightly into his lips and he raised his hands to tangle in the brunette's messy locks.

When they parted Harry was smiling and his eyes sparkled with happiness. Draco wished he could live in that moment forever. He felt like it was Christmas morning and he had gotten everything he could have ever hoped for. He smiled too and kissed Harry gently on the lips again.

"Do you want to go inside? It's getting a bit chilly." Harry said his lips already turning a light shade of purple.

"I would love to go inside" Draco said linking his hand with Harry's.

"Jeez your hands are freezing!" Harry said laughing as he took his other hand and starting to rub it over Draco's cold one.

"In my defense I have been out here a lot longer than you." Draco said softly elbowing Harry. "I picked you a rose."

Draco handed the rose to Harry and watched as the boy took it and brought it up to his nose to breathe in the sweet smell. Draco smiled and kissed Harry lightly on the cheek.

As they walked back towards the castle Draco couldn't believe what had happened. He supposed that Blaise and Pansy had been right all along. Sometimes people just need time to adjust to things. He wasn't quite sure what would happen next but he wasn't worried. This was the start of something good.

THE END

Well, I am sorry it took so long... but it's finally over. Thank you again for reading! Please tell me what you thought of it! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!