Untouchable Pain
By: bldcvrdkunoichi
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor anything related to the Naruto world but I do call the Konoha symbol since it has not left my neck since I bought the necklace… then again… there was that one time when it almost got lost between the sheets…. Then I almost killed that not so masked shinobi at the time… but when he did find it I made sure that he was rewarded with what was due to him… then again it wasn't that bad since we wound up between the sheets again….
Ok a big thank you out there needs to be given to my few readers who still love this story or just want something to read that is keeping my alive and keeping this story going… also a thank you is needed to be given to Bullet For My Valentine for writing their song Everything I Hate Revolves Around Me… which was the inspiration to start me writing it again…. Cause I got lost on the road in my mind with a certain ninja that has stolen my heart and many of my ideas apparently
Chapter 17
Walking into the Inn and seeing no one stunned Kakashi, "Is this, an Inn or is this, a graveyard?" he muttered under his breath since this was not the first time that no one could be found. Still seeing no one he walked up the stairs and unlocked his door to, again, see no one in there.
Great, just when he needed to talk to Mitsukai about tonight she was no where to be found. No one was anywhere to be found. And there was no use in going to the bar tonight if Mitsukai did not know about it let alone have enough time to prepare herself for it. Then again it was only noon there was plenty of time left until dusk would set, not only that Kakashi was never on time in Konoha, so why should he start being on time now. Then again this was a mission, but what could happen being late to a stupid bar that many people do not even know who they are or that they are even here. If worse came to worse and they had to wait till tomorrow then it wouldn't really matter
Finding nothing to do up in the room he wandered down the stairs finding the Inn keepers daughter Kajin sitting by the front desk
"Where is everyone?" he asked, getting nothing out of the girl besides a measly shrug as her reply.
"Do you know where Mitsukai is at, she was the lady that I was with yesterday?" He again only accomplishing from the girl a shake in the head. At least she replied with something else besides a shrug.
"Do you know where your parents are?" he asked hoping to figure out anything. Mitsukai was probably with Miryouno so if he was able to find out where they were he would probably be able to figure out where Mitsukai is. Again a shake in the head.
"Do you know anything?" he asked already frustrated. She nodded her head?
"And what would that be?"
"Okaa-san said that she was going with Mitsukai to help her get ready. I do not know where she was going so I could not tell you." Great, just great he was outsmarted by a child, so much for the thing about him being a genius.
"Do you have any idea where they would be going or where they could go?" he asked trying to ask a simpler questions without any specifics.
"They could have gone anywhere really; shopping in the market place or probably went to the hot springs, I don't know I was just here playing with my things when Chichioya told me to stay here and watch the desk while he had to go get something from the market just up the street." Great just great, her husband wasn't even around and so he had just about enough of the games that children play for one day… and actually for the rest of his life, he often time wondered why he even became a Jounin sensei, even though none of the kids ever passed, it was a question that he would not understand. He should have stayed in ANBU, it would have saved him the headache of dealing with kids. Then again he wouldn't have met Mitsukai if he had not stepped down. But as of right now, he isn't sure if it would have been a good idea to quite, knowing what he knew now.
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Enough was enough. Kakashi had been searching for over an hour, and there still was no sign of those two. It did not help that he had no idea where he was going or what he was going to do once he found them, as he was about to give up when he saw a building in the distance, he saw a path that led up to it that building that he did not see before, so he decided to take it. Walking up the path he noticed that it branched off into two different directions. He decided that he would take the path that leaded up to the building in the distance checking out the other path at another time. As he came upon the building he saw that was indeed the spa that Kajin had mentioned, but had neglected to tell where it was. Yet he could also receive some of the blame for not asking her exactly where any of the sites that she had mentioned. At the time he could have cared less, but not knowing where anything was in the town was also a mistake on his part. Kids could be so trying. Reaching the entrance Kakashi saw Miryouno standing outside.
"If you are looking for Mitsukai she'll be out in a couple of minutes, but I would advise you to go back to the Inn, for the fact that my husband has some clothes for you to change into since you have nothing suitable to wear to the bar tonight." She said laughing at his astounded expression.
"How did you know that we were actually going to the bar?" he asked highly confused at how she had known.
"Well, the bar tender is good friends with us, and knowing him he would have told you yes either way. Besides it wouldn't be fun even if you didn't go. Believe me, it's fun to crash bars." She winked at him, "Now go so that you have time to get changed." Kakashi just nodded his head, wondering why it would take three hours for him to get ready to go to a stupid bar. It's not like he has to put make-up on or something, and besides everyone already knew that he was there, if they knew at all, so it wouldn't be any problem if he just went in his regular clothes. But he did not want to get into any arguments with the woman who was helping them.
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Ohhhh… how wrong he was. What he expected to take only a couple of minutes took a painstaking two and a half hours. He had to wash his hair, he had to clean behind his ears, and all other parts of his body before the husband would he happy enough to just let him put some clothes on, and even that was a headache. By the time that he was done and waiting downstairs, he still had some satisfaction the Mitsukai and Miryouno were still not done yet, it was almost time for them to leave.
When he first saw her, she had taken his breath away on the stage, but with Miryouno's help, she was again that angel that he thought she was at first sight. She was dressed in a dark blood red dress with some black accents on the dress, highlighting the short and flowing cut of the dress. This had no sleeves but was held on by spaghetti straps, leaving her pale shoulders bare for everyone to se. He was not sure if he liked the idea of her bare shoulders, but for tonight he would not care. He almost wanted to thank the charade that they were playing, in hopes to be able to hold her close, even if he could not have her heart.
He, with the help of the husband who he still did not catch his name, was dressed in black dress pants and a loose fitting blood red top. He had insisted and almost had to shut the man up for the fact that he needed to keep his mask on. This also led to even more headaches and a whole lot of discomfort for Kakashi, but he would have been in even more if he had to take it off. But he did, even though he is a shinobi of Konoha, lose the battle of his headband… so he left it in the drawer of their room.
'They must have planned this outfit out together,' he thought in his head since the colors matched perfectly together, not that he minded, because for once they actually looked like a couple. A couple that actually had feelings for each other.
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Her first sight was of Kakashi leaning against the front desk looking agitated. Mitsukai almost wanted to laugh out loud, for Miryouno had told her how her husband was very compulsive about his looks, and the looks of others under his care. That is why the Inn looked so perfect with everything in place. Yet at the same time that she wanted to laugh, she wanted to throw herself in that safe haven of his arms, and tell him everything that was going on with her, but she could not. She would not, for the same many reasons that she had locked her heart away from him. Yet it did not seem to be working as well as it should have been. The urge was growing stronger and stronger as she descended from the steps, onto the main floor.
He smiled at her. The creases in the mask showed it off. He took her hand and brought it to his masked lips, caressing it. And the Charade had begun.
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Surprisingly they had made it to the bar with little difficulty, not that they had anticipated much, but it seemed like no one was out. Both of them had been told by Miryouno and her husband that the bar is where the little village hangs out at night. They also told them that they would also go there, but that fact that they have Kajin that they do not go anymore and what they said was the truth. There was hardly anyone outside, everyone else was closing up their shops or were, like them, making their way to the bar.
Once they reached it they were blasted with the loud sounds of the night. Who would have thought that a little village out in the middle of nowhere would have such a fun time with loud music and flashing lights? They certainly would not have. Neither would they have thought that the bar would be a mess of tangled and sweating bodies moving to the music. Weaving their way through dancing bodies, and some not so dancing bodies the finally made it to the bar. It took a while for each of them to find a seat, but even then with only one seat available Mitsukai had to sit on Kakashi's lap to accommodate both of them. They were playing lovers after all.
Once they were comfortable Hiyamizu walked up to them, "Would you like something to drink?" he asked. They both nodded telling him to pick whatever the village specialty is. Hiyamizu nodded and started mixing some kind of drinks together.
"So this is the Kunoichi that has stolen the shinobi's heart," he said to Kakashi, "as of right now this is the open floor," he said as he nodded his head in the direction of the dance floor, as he gave them their drinks, "and will stay like that for the next hour, hour and a half and then they will bring out the Karaoke Machines and then it really gets heated. I can't wait to hear you angel sing." Hiyamizu walked away to help out the next customers that had called for a drink.
Her eyes met his, "I'm supposed the sing?" she asked, "When did I agree to sing?" he looked extremely sheepish as she stared him down.
"I kind of mentioned it when I went to the bar earlier to check it out." She had known full well that he just wanted to use her to get into the crowed and the best way was with her voice, especially at a karaoke bar, but doing her part as the lover she had to protest, it would be the lover like thing to do.
She stared him down a little more and almost said something else about it when he whispered into her ear, "If you'll sing I'll make it up to you." She just smiled at that statement and enjoyed being in his arms. This would be one of the few times that she would be able to be in his arms with an actual reason to look content in them for the remainder of the night together.
To others it would like harmless flirting, but in reality it was killing her. This was unlike any other pain that she had ever experienced. A pain that was tearing her heart apart. A pain, that at the same time, was like joyous revelation and a sharp pain. If this is that love is like, then she was better off with the scars on her arms and wrists instead of this pain to her heart.
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Kakashi breathed in her scent letting it fall all over him. He loved this time that he had to hold her close. He was glad for this time, this couple of seconds where they could pretend to be someone who they are not. For these couple of moments they were not ninja's, they were not a couple, this was not some kind of charade that had to be played, this was not something that they needed to fake. It was just them. It was just them living in the moment, and for now that is all that Kakashi wanted. All this would be forgotten and a few stolen moments of holding were all that he could ask of her. He doubted even if he asked for more, if he would even be granted any thing more then this just now.
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Neither of them noticed when the pounding music stopped. Neither of them noticed when the stage turned into a karaoke bar for people to sing at. Neither of them heard the terrible voices that washed over the crowed and the cries from the crowed to get off the stage. Neither of them saw any of that until Hiyamizu came up to them and pointed out that the announcer was asking if anyone else would like to sing that had any talent.
"Do I really have to do this?" Mitsukai wined as Kakashi raised his hand to tell the announcer that she wanted to sing.
"No," he said as he started to lead her up to the stage, "but I would advise that you do, come on dear, you have a lovely voice show everyone," he finished while he winked his eye at her. She had known that since she had found out that she was supposed to sing that she had to, but her wining was only for show, and Kakashi knew that fact.
The announcer nodded to her and helped her up on the stage, "Now who is this angel that has said she could sing?" he asked.
"I'm Mitsukai," she said sweetly to him.
"I think that the man who brought you up is a very lucky man, but he might have to fight the men off of you if you sing as beautifully as you look." She blushed trying to play it to her advantage. The announcer gave her the microphone and asked her if she had anything in her mind that she would like to sing, she shook her head so he said that they would pick a song for her.
As the music started playing, she thought that it sounded something like she had heard before, but was not exactly sure about it. She patiently waited for the lyrics to come on screen and started to sing when they did:
"Remember the
feelings
Remember the day
My stone heart was breaking
My
love ran away
This moment I knew I would be someone else
My
love turned around and I felt"
She smiled at the lyrics as she sang, getting some more confidence as each word scrolled by the screen, and sang louder out into the audience.
"Be my bad boy be
my man
be my weekend lover
but don't be my friend
You can be
my Bad boy
But understand
That I don't need you in my life
again"
Mitisukai laughed inside her head. She had almost forgotten how healing singing was to her soul. Yet at the same time her heart was crying this song was almost like her life. And it was defiantly her relationship with Kakashi.
"Would you be my
bad boy be my man Bad Boy!"
be my weekend lover
but don't be my
friend
You can be my Bad boy
But understand
That I don't
need you again
No I don't need you again
She looked into the audience, and her eyes connected with Kakashi. Some how he to understood that this was their relationship, no matter how hard he wished that it was not, it was. Yet, no matter how hard she felt that she just wanted to go out and leave the microphone back on the stage and go jump into Kakashi's arms she just couldn't do it. It was what lovers would do, but to them it would have a whole other meaning then just what everyone would suspect, but she was not ready to endanger him in that way.
"You once made
this promise You never thought that a Be my bad boy
be my man Won't you be my bad Boy
To stay by my side
But after some time
You
just pushed me aside
Girl could
be strong
Now I'll show you
How to go on
be my weekend lover
but don't be my friend
You can
be my Bad boy
But understand
That I don't need you in my life
again
be my man
be my weekend
lover
but don't be my friend
You can be my Bad boy
But
understand
That I don't need you again
No I don't need you
again"
Once she was done the crowed started cheering and jumping all over, while others in the crowd just stood there in shock never expecting her to have such a phenomenal voice. Mitsukai just gave a demure smile at the response that the crowed had received her. When she gave the microphone back to the announcer, whose mouth was gaping open, he took it and started to speak into it.
"Well that was phenomenal," he said into it, "No one has sung like that since I have started working, so does anyone want to follow up that lovely sound of Mitsukai's voice?" at first no one raised their hands but then there were a couple of takes. Mitsukai assumed that she was done so she started walking down the stairs to get off of the platform when the announcer caught her arm. He motioned her to wait one minute and so she stood there a little bit longer with nothing to do. Once the announcer set the other person up to sing, he walked over her and started to talk to her pulling Mitsukai over to one side so that if anything was going to be thrown at the singer, it would miss them.
"You have a lovely voice, and I would like to introduce you to my boss, he is currently not here right now, or I am sure that you would have heard him. But he should be here by the time we are done to watch the last performers since the last are usually the best, but you have proven that your voice is nothing to be forgotten over. So please stay around until everyone has cleared out. I would ask you to stay around but I am sure that your man is anxious for you to come back, so I'll let you go. Remember, stay until the end, it would be too hard for me to find you in this crowd anyway." Mitsukai nodded as the man had to leave, he had a job to finish after all. Mitsukai smiled to herself as she stepped down from the platform. Kakashi was right there and his eye was raised in question, all she needed to do was to nod to tell him that she had found what they had wanted.
They slowly made their way back to the bar finding it hard to make it through the bodies there. Some of them tried to ask Mitsukai if she could dance, but that ended when Kakashi said no for her and added that she is mine. Others were just going to congratulate her on her voice, which made no sense to them, but that did not really matter, for they were not the ones that she needed to impress, and she already impressed the people that they needed. Once they made it back to the bar they noticed Hiyamizu standing there with drinks in his hand.
"You said that she had a voice of an angel, and I admit that I thought you were bragging, but now I know that she has the voice of the angels herself, so have these drinks on the house," he said.
"Thank you for your kindness," Kakashi said. Hiyamizu nodded as if it was nothing and moved on to help the other costumers. When they were alone again Mitsukai told Kakashi what the man said, and they waited out the rest of the night until it was time for them to move.
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Both of them contemplated about going out into the dance floor to dance with each other, since it would look proper for a loving couple to do so, yet it just didn't seem like the right time to do it. It was their fault that they did not dance before when there was no karaoke going on, but they were just overwhelmed with the atmosphere that all they could do was sit and drink whatever the bartender gave them. They knew that they should, but something was holding them back from it, so they blew off some songs that they knew that were very danceable songs especially for couples, but they both knew that when the next "slow" song was played that they would have to dance to it, or otherwise it would arouse some suspicion.
Soft cords from a guitar echoed from the suddenly quiet dance floor. A man stood up there, he must have been very good if he had silence from the crowd. The strumming of the guitar signaled to Kakashi and Mitsukai that this would have to be the song that they would dance to. The voice from the man was a strong one, yet held a lot of emotion in it. The people must have known the song, because from the first lines of music everyone got up and started to sway with it, so both of them pushed themselves from off of the seat. Kakashi gave his hand to her and she took it as he brought her close.
"She
put him out
Like the burning end of a midnight cigarette
She
broke his heart
He spent his whole life trying to forget"
She rested in his arms fully. She finally gave in to the thoughts of nothingness letting the feelings wash over her. Kakashi felt her fully resting in his arms and rested his chin on her head. Even with high heels he was still taller then her. They swayed to the music, letting the lyrics penetrate their mind while they let each other open a little to the other.
"We
watched him drink his pain away
A little bit at a time
But he
never could get drunk enough
To get her off his mind
Until the
night
He
put the bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
He finally drank
away her memory
Life is short
But this time it was bigger
Than
the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with
his face down in the pillow
With a note that says I'll love her
till I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The
angels sang a whiskey lullaby"
Kakashi wanted to laugh. He had wanted to laugh many times before at the irony of everything but this beat everything else that he had gone through. Somehow this was his song. This was his life in a nutshell. Everything seemed to enhance everything else even more. How many times had he found himself passed out on his bed hung over from previous encounters with alcohol, but for now he would be content with the contact that this song is enabling him to have with his forbidden.
"La
La La La La La La
La La La La La La La
La La La La La La
La
La La La La La La La"
Both of them were content at how they fit in each others arms perfectly. Nothing was out of place and everything seemed like it would be alright, and so the song played on.
"The
rumors flew She
finally drank her pain away She put the bottle to her head and pulled the trigger We
found her with her face down in the pillow
But nobody knew
How much she blamed herself
For
years and years
She tried to hide the whisky on her breath
A little at a time
But she never
could get drunk enough
To get him off her mind
Until the night
And
finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was
bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
Clinging to his
picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the
willow
While the angels sang a whisky lullaby"
This time Mitsukai had wanted to laugh. This part of the song was her. How many times had she wanted to end it all, yet found someone to cling to? She should have run away the first time she met him. She should have never done all those things that she did. She should not have fought him. But most of all, she should not have fallen in love with him.
"La
La La La La La La
La La La La La La La
La La La La La La La
La
La La La La La La
La La La La La La La
La La La La La La La
La
La La La La La La
La La La La La La La"
Both of them stayed in each others arms as the cords of the guitar died in the song. Neither of them wanted to move. Neither of them wanted to push themselves away from each other. So that was how they stayed for the remainder of the night. The charade that had begun earlier had turned into something that was a charade no longer. For now they would forget who they are supposed to be and actually start to feel about what they are.
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A/N: I know… I know… it needs to be longer and I need to update more often and I need a life and I need a new leg… and I need everything else… what else is new… anyway review if you want me to update .
I Heart Bullet For My Valentine I heart Matthew Tuck I need a life….
p.s. grace is a buttmunch no matter how much I love or hate her…. Get well Taylor… You to Paige or else…… my friends are on crack… seriously I want some… why am I not getting any….