Pyxelle, Peggyz, jcrooz, hrhgmsfsoap, onefreetoroam, w84u, kipperoo453, LuvAngel448, Street Spirit, SmileVampy, Jessymama, tussis, Tha Lady Luthien, and Eriala - thank you all for your great reviews – they mean so much to me!
A/N: I am just realizing now that I never put a disclaimer on this story. In case anyone was unsure, I did not in fact write the short story under a pseudonym, transform it into a screenplay, and produce a major motion picture. Just so we're clear.
This is the final chapter in this story.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The grey mist settled over the seemingly endless countryside like a blanket wrapped so snugly that it nearly smothered. This seemed fitting to Ennis, in a way, as he slowly made his way up through the seemingly endless sea of fog and prairie grass.
His new home was in one of those out-of-the-way places, the type of sparse settlement that had no justification for calling itself a town. His daughters thought that he had gone completely insane, forsaking his cozy little home near Riverton for a trailer out in what seemed like the middle of nowhere. But, ironically, he no longer gave a damn what anyone else thought.
He would have loved to have been able to carry out Jack's wishes and spread his ashes over Brokeback Mountain, but Jack's father had refused. It seemed wrong to Ennis, painfully significant. Half of his ashes in his childhood home, with childhood dreams unfulfilled; the other half was with his wife and the hard reality he had always tried to forget. No part of him was in the one place that he wanted most to be.
This thought stung Ennis hard. He had contemplated taking the ashes anyway, or at least going back to Brokeback on his own as a pilgrimage of sorts. But he had thought better of it. Going to the mountain now, alone, seemed too wrong. It would sully the sanctity of the place, tarnish the memories. Maybe Jack's father was right, in a way. There were some places you just couldn't return to.
-----------------------
Ennis's older daughter had come to visit him that morning. She was the one human being whom he did not mind impugning on his solitude. She had announced her intention to wed a boy, a man, he grudgingly admitted, whom he had never met or even heard of before that morning. He had struggled with the harsh realization of how quickly time was moving and that his baby girl had grown up, nearly to the point of refusing her invitation. But he did not. The sad look in her eyes had reminded her of how Jack used to look at him sometimes.
Out loud, he told her that he'd be there. Inwardly, he added, I know what the price is of shutting people out of my life because it's just easier for me to disengage. I know what it's like to be alone and have only yourself and your own stubbornness to blame. I will not make the same mistake with you. It's the least I can do for him, to be even a little more open, to tell people when I care about them, and to be there for them before it's too late…
He watched her go shortly afterwards, blinking back tears. He was determined to put that whole train of thought out of his mind for awhile. When he saw that she had left her sweater, he knew that he would need to open the closet. And he knew that the memories would return once again, filling the solitude with tranquility and longing, joy and despair.
-----------------------
This was why he was walking through this misty morning. He had hoped to clear his head, but the haze around him gave everything a dreamy quality, blurring the lines between memories and reality until they were nearly inseparable.
It occurred to him that it was strange how his mind catalogued memories. You could have been going through the worst storm in your life, but a moment of peace and t fair winds would stand out in your mind upon reflection.
He thought back to the day of his parents' funeral. The black clothing, the weeping, the stench of death as he walked through the moist graveyard, his feet slipping into the cold spring mud. All of this blurred together in his memory. What stood out to him now was that moment when he broke away from his aunt's viselike, "comforting" grip and climbed to the top of the big oak in the center of the rows of tombstones.
He had poked his head through the canopy at the top, and found that he could see across the entire cemetery. From this height, all the gravestones were just little grey blocks, aligned in neat rows on a green field with little yellow flowers and a white picket fence. The wind gently stirred his hair, and he felt a supreme sense of calmness and even beauty here, where the bodies of ages gave fruit to the new flowers. It had seemed fitting, even to his young mind. And now, when he recalled the funeral day, it was that one moment that flashed back to him so vividly that he could almost feel that sweet breeze on his face again.
This was what he feverishly wished he could do with Jack: find the peace in the despair, the little bit of beauty that would overshadow the vast ugliness that was his life.
-----------------------
Jack had never found peace in this life. He was, perhaps, not meant for this world. He would be happier as a spirit, Ennis reflected, finally free of worldly constraints.
As for Ennis, he didn't know or care much about religion, but he clung blindly to the vague notion of one day reuniting. He had to believe that not everything was mortal, that some loves never died.
Until that day, he would go on working. He would attend his daughter's wedding, he would celebrate the eternal binding of one heart to another. He would ache with regret for the choices he did not make, and he would dream of the possibilities that had seemed limitless after that first summer. He would go on living.
And when it got to be too much, and everything seemed pointless and grey, he would open the closet and remember.
Some moments make it all worth it.
- Finis
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you all for reading. Please review one last time or email me and tell me your thoughts. I look forward to hearing from you!