Alrighty then, I'm going to do something I promised myself I wouldn't do and start a third fict while I still have two going.
This one all began when I decided to twist a few scenes from the Eva series for my own amusement. Now I've got the works of a good story going (mostly still in seral large chunks but, ah well. We can't be too pick can we) so I figured it's time to see what you guys think. I'm going to post the first two chapters and if i get some positive feed back I think I'll keep posting the rest of. Please review and let me know what you think.
P.S.: I don't own Eva. That right belongs to Gainax.
'Nuf said.
The Girl in White Bandages: The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei
The world of Evangelion through the eyes of the enigmatic Rei Ayanami, with my own twists of course . . .
Ch. 1 In the Beginning . . .
I began life as nothing more then a single piece of a mass of voices in the darkness. I was a nameless entity among those I recognized as like me. Then one day a voice called me to the light. It gave me a name which I would from then on know as my own and the light burned my eyes. "It called come Rei Ayanami, awaken from the darkness. . ."
First Life
"Rei," said a masculine voice, "I created you and gave you life. You owe your entire existence to me. So in gratitude you must always obey me."
It was god. He was speaking to me from on high. The voice was hard and commanding but somehow I knew it spoke true. I think I could sense my own falsity even then. The origin of the voice leaned over and spoke to me again. This time the voice was eager and encouraging. "Now, move your arm."
I made a fist with my right hand. Hand? When had I had gotten one of those? "Very good, Rei. You may open your eyes now." The voice said, sounding full of pride.
I opened my eyes slowly letting the sight of the outside world filter in. Above me stood a young man. His brown hair was cut short and a pair of glasses rested on his nose. He smiled at me and I liked him instantly. I wanted him to always keep smiling at me like that. Always and forever . . .
I would spend the first several months of my life isolated with in the bowls of a place called Gehern. I learned from the man known only as Commander Ikari, although I was later to learn that his name was really Gendo Rokubungi Ikari but that wasn't important to me at the time. He taught me how to speak, use my body and all sort of other useful things. Of course this was also when I first learned to ignore my feels and become as I would later be termed, "a doll" Then one day he came and told me to follow him upstairs. I was silently proud that day; the Commander was finally showing me Gehern for the first time. I was introudced to all the important people including Dr. Akagi and her daughter Ritsuko. After that day my instruction became different. Now the Commander was teaching me words to memorize. I had no idea what they meant but something told me they weren't nice.
Death and Rebirth
"That old hag has no use anymore. That old hag is worthless. . ."
Just like he had said, I kept repeating the words The Commander had taught me over and over. Suddenly she was holding me by the throat. I tied to stop her but I couldn't move. I wanted to cry, to scream, to do anything, most of all breathe but I couldn't do anything. Her strength was overwhelming. "Didn't you know? You're replaceable too Rei." She hissed in my ear.
I felt the bones in my neck break under the strength of her hands. It was a horrid sound I'll always remember and everything went black.
Naoko stood silently with Rei's limp body in her hands for several seconds before it all sank in. He had brought Yui back, in the guise of this young girl. Rei and Yui were one in the same. Why? Had she really been that expendable to him? Had Gendo been that eager to get rid of her? Naoko looked down at Rei seeing what she had wished she'd seen before in the dead girls face. Yui. Yes the girl was Yui though and through. She had killed her, killed her. She had strangled Yui! Dear good what had she done? Slowly the limp body slid from her fingers and landed on the floor. Naoko turned and made her way to the railing over looking her precious magi. Tears began to fall as she knew her fate was sealed. Yui had been right. She was a useless old hag. It was time she went away. Swiftly she climbed over the railing and suspended herself over Melchior. Ritsuko, good bye my child. I'll miss you. Yui, please forgive me. God I'm so sorry. Amen. With that she let go.
As I woke I could feel LCL all around me and I knew I was in the tube. I slowly opened my eyes to see him. He was standing just outside. Was it just my imagination or had he gotten older? Yes, he had. "Welcome back Rei. How do you feel?" He asked me.
My stomach wrenched but I forced my self to keep smiling. He had brought me back. He had brought me back! Was I not worthy of death? Was death not good enough for me? Apparently yes. Until his propose for me was done I would not die. He would not let me go. That became my ultimate truth from that day foreword. I took a moment to let that knowledge engrave it's self in my very being before I replied. "Fine, sir."
"Good. You may come out now."
"Yes, sir."
Presentation of the Beast
The Commander stopped at a door just ahead of me and swiped his card in the lock. The door slid open and he turned to wait for me to catch up. Even from where I was I caught the smell of blood wafting from within and recoiled momentarily. It made me sick. I blocked it out by telling myself it was nothing and hurried to reach him. Silently we entered into the dark room. Almost instantly the doors snapped shut behind us plunging the room into total darkness. "Commander?" I called "Commander Ikari?"
There was no response. I kept walking, telling myself he'd been distracted and hadn't heard me and that I would bump into him any second. I didn't. I kept going but he wasn't there. With blinding intensity the lights turned on. I blinked trying to adjust my eyes so I could see. As my eyes adjusted the orange head of a monstrous being cam into view. Everything below the neck except the right arm, whose uncompleted bony structure hung suspended from the ceiling in mid air, was submerged. Its single red eye seemed to watch me from its place in the head over twice my height above me. The head along dwarfed me, making me oddly tiny in comparison. The rest of it, what couldn't be seen must be massive, I concluded. "Do you like it, Rei?"
"What is it?"
"Prototype Evangelion Unit Zero. She's for you."
"For me?"
As I gazed back transfixed by its red cycloptic eye I knew exactly what it was. Before anyone bothered to tell me I knew. I could feel it like the deepest truth in my bones. That creature was me. We were one. Dark and Light twin mirror reflections of each other. Impossible to separate yet never to be one. That was what he had given me. "Yes. I made her for you. You shall take her into battle to fight the angels."
I looked over at the face of Unit Zero forming an unspoken pact with her in that moment then back at The Commander. "Yes sir."
A few months later Unit Zero's arm was complete and I was officially designated as her pilot. I was now known as the first child. From that day on I trained devotedly, religiously so some would say, to prepare myself for the task ahead of me. I lost any ability to express or understand emotions as I became totally fixated on the momentous job of defeating the angels. However I would soon find I had an even greater enemy to conquer . . .
Savior and the True Horror
I shivered as the scaling hot water hit my shoulders. I barely noticed. I was cold on the inside. Like frozen ice. Completely numb. I tried to call to mind something, anything but everything seemed pale and muted. Silently I turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around me. As I was redressing Doctor Akagi appeared. "The Commander was very pleased with the results of today's test, Rei." She told me.
I didn't respond, I was too busy trying to make my hands stop shaking. My muddled thoughts refusing to quit racing. Vaguely I was aware of Doctor Akagi approaching me but it didn't really register with me that she was there until she out her hands around my own. "Rei, you're freezing. Go run some hot water on yourself. You'll make yourself sick at this rate."
"I did." I told her tonelessly.
She starred at me in shock and surprise. "What are you talking . . ."
"I'm not the some Doctor. What's wrong with me?" I asked blankly.
Even as I spoke the words I already knew what was wrong. The Commander was creating the dummy plug using me, stealing my soul to make it. When Doctor Akagi didn't answer me I turned to leave. I didn't know what to do but I knew it had to be quick or else I would loose myself, forever. I left Nerv directly and returned home. I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes. Slowly my feeling returned and along with it a plan. The Eva, she could save me. She had no soul of her own so I could give her my own. Then she could save me from disappearing or loosing myself. On top of that it might make synchronization easier. From that day on I tried my hardest to put everything into the Eva. All my loneliness, my pain, my fears. Joy and anger, anything I experienced I tried to imprint it as vividly as I could onto the Eva's soul. The first time I got into the Eva after my second visit to the dummy plug was painful. The numbness hadn't completely gone away this time. When synchronization began I was forced to see and feel everything I had put there. It was harsh and overwhelming. I was left feeling drained, weak, laid open and vulnerable. However it was enough to remove the numbness. I never waned to feel like that again. The numbness scared me more then anything.
Pain of Connection
"Rei, its time."
"Yes, sir."
Lights flashed and synchronization with unit zero began. Suddenly images began to invade my mind. It was me; my body was rotting, falling a part. I was crumbling to pieces. Voices everywhere taunting me, screaming my name. "No!" Screamed my voice but it didn't come from me.
I closed my eyes and slammed my hands over my ears but the harder I tied to block them out the stronger the assault became. The next thing I knew I was being thrown like a rag doll within the entry plug. I held on in vain for dear life. For the first time I actually screamed and wished everything would stop. I hit the wall hard and I lost use in my left arm. My stomach went straight to my throat as the entry plug plunged downward thought the air. I felt my ribs crack when I hit the floor. Then everything went still. I struggled to remain conscious against the overwhelming pain. The door opened and near blinding light flooded the in. "Rei, are you okay?"
I struggled against the pain to sit up and I locked eyes with the commander. "Yes sir."
He smiled for a brief instant at me and my world was complete. "Good."
Several techs from the medical department pushed past the Commander obscuring my view of him. They gently lifted me from the pilot's seat to a stretcher. As I was carried from the entry plug I spotted the Commander's glasses floating in the LCL. I stretched out a hand and picked them up. He's lost them for me and now they would serve as a reminder of this day.
Well, what do you think? That was mostly some snippits from Rei's life before the series officially began. In the next chaper thing will pick up where the series began.