Fascist Friday

By Hippy Mermaid

Fandom: The Young Ones

Genre: Humour/Horror

Rating: T (adult themes, violence, low level coarse language)

Summary: A parody of Freaky Friday featuring The Young Ones. Rick and Vyv switch bodies. How will the archenemies adjust to this and is there a way out of this nightmare?

Disclaimer: I don't own The Young Ones or any of its characters. The idea was taken from the movie 'Freaky Friday', which isn't owned by me either. However I do own this story, so hands off! No profit has been gained from this work.

Reviews: As I've said in all my other fics, constructive criticism and honest feedback much appreciated, but nothing nasty. Thank you for your time.

Chapter One

Rick's POV – The Party

Rick dramatically flung the door to his bedroom open, threw himself on his bed and began wailing into his pillow, much in the fashion of a teenage girl who had just had an argument with her parents.

How could he? How could Vyvyan be so mean?

Vyvyan was usually a meanie, but Rick never thought he could be capable of this. The fact that it happened on his birthday, no, his TWENTY-FIRST birthday made it even worse. Because of this, Rick was now probably going to be the least popular girl, uh, boy at Scumbag University. Rick wistfully reminisced the days as the prettiest, most popular student there – the Queen Bee. Gangs of students would run to greet him upon his arrival for a friendly routine wedgie. Oh, how they laughed when they tickled his sides to hear his girly high-pitched giggle. Others would shower him with their food in honour as he made his way down the corridor. Not only was he immensely popular among the students, but the teachers also. He remembered the time his sociology teacher and idol, Jim Morrison, fondly called him a "spotty try-hard bastard". Oh, they shared many a secret joke, that unstoppable teacher-student duo of Rick and Jim Morrison. Now, in just the space of a few seconds, his popularity had plummeted to despairing lows.

Rick looked up from his pillow, revealing a red, tear-stained face. He scanned the room, his eyes resting upon the biro that lay on top of his notebook. He momentarily contemplated suicide as he imagined himself grabbing the biro and stabbing it into his heart.

What is the point of living if I can't be popular?

His head dropped back down onto the soaking pillow and he continued to weep pitifully.

How did things ever result to this? I had so much promise…

He began to compose a poem in his head to express the way he was feeling.

I know Satan, yes I do

He has orange spiky hair and wears denim and chains

He calls himself Vyvyan…

He tried, but the thumping headache he possessed made it difficult to think properly. Otherwise, he would have been able to compose a masterpiece quicker than it takes Neil to ruin dinner. Flooded by his own bitter sadness, the current of tears drifted Rick into a deep sleep…

Rick had so been looking forward to the party. He had been planning it all week – his 21st birthday party, to which every student at the university and all his favourite hip teachers were invited. He would have invited his parents too, if not for their recent death. That night, every thing had been going splendidly and his crush, Mary, (remember Rick's references to her in "Bambi", boys and girls?) was showing all the signs that she was desperate to get into Rick's pants. Well, who can blame her? Rick thought. Yes, it was going to be the best night of his young life. Until…

"Hey everyone! Look what I found under Rick's floorboards!"

Everyone at the party immediately turned his or her head to see Vyvyan standing on the staircase. Rick's blood ran cold.

No… Not…

"Cosmopolitan!" Vyvyan declared in a girly voice, mocking Rick. He pulled out the well-read magazine from behind his back and waved it around.

It's funny how one little moment can completely shatter your life forever.

Instantaneously, everyone at the party except Rick burst into a roar of laughter. Rick looked around the room with wide, petrified eyes, rivers of sweat coursing down his face. Cruel jeers and taunts were shouted out amongst a sea of grotesquely stretched laughing faces. Everyone then began to clap their hands together and chant, "Cosmo Boy! Cosmo Boy! Cosmo Boy!"

It was like a nightmare. Rick just wanted to die.

He then looked up to see Vyvyan on the staircase, acting all pleased with himself and an intense rage surged through him. His eyes narrowed, sparking with a hateful glint.

"Vyvyan! You bastard! How could you do this to me?" he screamed. And just when he was beginning to grow fond of his housemate. He had even begun to find him attractive! But this… now nothing could remove the hurt that Vyvyan's actions had caused him.

"I hate you, Vyvyan and I always will! You've ruined my birthday! I'll never forgive you for this!"

With that, Rick girlishly ran up the stairs with his head in his hands, accompanied by bursts of high-pitched whimpering.