Title: Best Laid Plans
A/N: It's been a while. I've been busy. You see, I'm going to be leaving the country for a couple weeks and had to work ahead for school. So… I'll be around for most of next week, but after that, you probably won't hear from me again until after the 19th of November. I'm sure it feels like your lives are ending right now, since I'm almost positive my absence has that effect on people. Almost positive. Chin up boys and girls, at least I brought you a story… sort of.
The first few lines come directly from chapter 329.
"But the real goal of the Akatsuki lies elsewhere. For that goal, we need a huge amount of money."
Hidan twisted his lips in annoyance.
"Next to Tobi, I'm the newest member, so I've never heard anything from you about it! Sneaking around when I'm not there…"
"Are you pouting? Fu… fine, I'll tell you about it now."
The leader paused specifically for dramatic effect.
"We need large amounts of money to build a casino, so we can then acquire even more money."
"All we're after is more money?" Hidan asked, voice soured.
"At first, our plan is in stages. Money is only the first stage."
Honestly, there were many times when Hidan had thought that maybe joining the Akatsuki organization had been a mistake. He had a feeling that this was another one of those times.
"And the second stage is…?"
"The second stage is spending."
Actually, that was a fairly natural assumption that after gaining money you would at some point spend it. Hidan waited for the leader to reveal what they were going to spend their money on, but apparently he had decided he was done talking.
"So what are we going to be spending our money on?" Hidan asked, trying not to grit his teeth in frustration. It was harder to enunciate that way.
"We are going to buy our way into the baby food market."
This was the point where Hidan found himself lost.
"Baby food?"
"Exactly. We will add our mind control serum to the baby food and will control the generation that will inherit this world next!"
"Wait, man, step three is taking over the world?"
"Actually step three is developing the mind control serum."
"So our plans are to use a mind control serum that doesn't exist?" Hidan hoped the skepticism in his voice was as heavy as he intended.
"Well it hasn't been developed yet, but we're working very hard on that."
"But then… what are the jinchuuriki for then?"
"Well see… what were they for again? Kakuzu, you tell him, I can't remember."
Kakauzu shifted.
"You never told me."
"Does anyone remember what the jinchuuriki are for?" the leader asked. Those with the inclination to shrugged, but otherwise no one answered.
"So why are we bothering with removing their bijuu?" Hidan asked.
"I'm sure there was a reason, so we'll keep doing it. One of us is sure to remember sooner or later. If not we'll just come up with something."
"Dude, this is the biggest group of retards I've ever seen!" Hidan replied.
"You're entitled to your own opinion, Hidan, but I'm entitled to send you on crappy missions."
"Well I'm entitled to tell you to shut the f-"
"Hidan, you shut up and focus on your part of the jutsu," Kakuzu interrupted, annoyed with the conversation.
-
Kakuzu watched the blonde Konoha nin run around excitedly and shouting much more loudly than any self-respecting shinobi, scratch that, any self-respecting person would be. Despite as far away as they were, he could still make out some of the words.
Hidan was sulking. The religious man wouldn't even look at their target.
"Stop it, already. At least you'll get to have a fun fight."
"I'm not interested."
If Kakuzu was the type, he'd try harder to pull Hidan out of the funk he had fallen into after learning the group's goals, but instead he didn't care other than the reason it was really annoying to have to deal with a grown man who insisted on acting like a three year old child.
"Well have fun explaining that to your god when he suddenly stops receiving your sacrifices," Kakuzu said as he got up and started walking away.
"Hey man, that's not freaking fair!" Hidan called after him.
Kakuzu didn't answer.
"I'm going to quit, you know. All you guys can just go to hell!" Hidan continued as he followed after his partner.
Kakuzu wondered how he'd be able to stand two annoying blondes in this next fight.
A/N: Hidan's hard for me to write, but apparently, he does sulk, so I used that. I totally wrote an entirely different drabble that I was going to post, but it pretty much really sucked and I realized I forgot how to write. This one is better.