(Originally a songfic on its own, this fic was removed because the lyrics used weren't in the public domain. I still like the story, though, so I'm re-posting it, sans lyrics. This is the same story, with Gaara's POV. Enjoy!)

Why hadn't he just left?

Gaara found himself unable to answer his own question. He also found himself unable to rationalize any of his actions beyond asking her to dance in the first place.

It was true he hated dancing. He saw no real point in it – as he saw little point in anything for most of his life. His grace was natural, as flawless as the motions of his own sand, but he had never had a lesson in his life.

His presence there had been a mere formality – one to affirm the alliance between the villages. Temari had encouraged it although he suspected his sister had other motives behind her goadings. She hadn't taken long to slip from his company into that of another, a rather boresome fellow in Gaara's personal opinion. The whole affair held little stimulation for him, much less the spawn of the Nara clan.

When things began to pick up he veered as far from the crowd as he could without seeming that he was hiding in the dark of the outskirts of town. That would have looked a little suspicious. Sadly, as he might have suspected, being in the general eye of the masses around him made for little fun. It wasn't long before the young females, even girls half his age were giggling and shoving each other at him in an attempt to gain his attention. The whole production made the Kazekage want to dump them all in the fish buckets not far from where he was, but that wouldn't have gone down well.

He had just begun to fall into a bland daze – what he considered the only real sleep he'd ever manage – when felt someone's eyes on him. Instinctively, his own eyes snapped to the owner without need to search for them. The pale sea-green eyes glimmered at him for a moment before the pink haired kunoichi turned away. Gaara felt his chest tighten a little bit at the motion. If he hadn't iced over his rage ages ago he might have shouted 'Fine, look away. They all do.'

He didn't bother to keep looking at her across the busy village square since she seemed to find it wasn't worth her effort to do the same. He didn't really care to look at those eyes anyway, he mulled. Those eyes only reminded him of people he would rather not think of.

Suddenly aware that his eyes had blindly fallen on a troupe of young girls in his distant thoughts, he mentally groaned. They thought he was eyeing them over, no doubt. He attempted to make it look as though he was turning his attentions elsewhere without seeming as disgusted as he felt. Sadly, the girls took no small hint and he was faced with yet another boresome attempt at winning his favor for a dance. Throwing on his usual, formal tone he politely dismissed them and ignored their whines of disappointment.

Something prickled at him again and he soon found his eyes landing on Sakura Haruno's eyes again. This time she did not turn away but instead lifted her hand in a small greeting with a faint smile on her slender lips. Gaara felt his innards take a bit of a jerk again. The friendliness on her face looked almost genuine. He sat there stiffly for a moment, unsure of how to respond, just staring in that predatory way he always did. After a moment things became awkward and he moved swiftly to his feet and turned to leave without returning the gesture.

He sauntered slowly past a couple of shops and a few people in search of his sister. They had been here long enough to establish a good image, there was no reason to stay any longer. When his keen eyes failed to find the tall blonde his stride slowed to a stop. Blast her. Temari was generally pretty responsible, but sometimes she was just a little too carefree for his liking.

His feet continued to lead him forward in no real direction while his mind clouded in a melancholy manner. When his eyes decided to focus on his surroundings again he became aware that he was standing right in front of Sakura. His feet halted almost of their own will and he turned towards her. The girl didn't seem to notice him at first, but when she did she lifted her head and looked at him with innocent eyes.

"Um…Hello?" she offered. Her voice broke through the awkwardness surrounding the situation and Gaara felt like reality had just smacked him square in the face. He hoped it didn't show on the outside – he was rather good at disguising things like this normally. His chest felt tight again, though he was slowly willing it to cease.

So now what? Was he just going to stand there and stare at her? He did the first thing that came to mind since words were failing him. His hand lifted out to her and she leaned back to look at it as strangely as if he were holding a trout in front of her face. Just when he was beginning to feel a little anxious he felt her fingers caress his palm and her hand take his. Instinctively, he grasped her hand and pulled her to her feet – ending up a little closer than he'd meant to be with her. He made no motion to suggest it was an accident, though. His breath caught a little in his throat and he held it when her feminine scent washed over him. The breath remained still where it was until he turned to lead her out into the dancing space.

What are you doing? He heard a voice ask him. It took him a moment to realize it was his own inner voice – one he didn't hear much over the tanuki's most of the time. His body moved almost of its own accord in every following second and he felt as if he was merely watching everything from inside.

When he stopped and turned to face her again, his hand moved to the warmth of her hip, the other continuing to gently grasp the hand he held. He had picked up the posture from those around them without so much as a wayward glance at them. He sensed their movements and their gestures with a third vision all shinobi were meant to possess.

He tried his best not to let the sudden childlike fear he felt claim his face. When he caught the eyes of the girl before him, her's staring back at him in all their warmth and readiness, he felt the stiffness inside him tremble. For the first time in ages he wanted to disappear again. He wanted to run.
His body continued to lead him – this fearless cast of a warrior he'd sculpted over the few years of his young life. From what he could tell Sakura took little notice of any change in his feeling. Thankfully, he seemed to keep his usual, unwavering exterior just fine. It wasn't surprising. He had had plenty of bricks to help him build his wall.

Although Gaara felt a little bit comforted by the silence, the girl on his arm seemed to feel differently. It wasn't long before he felt the words crawling towards her lips. Quietly, she questioned his silence and he simply retaliated with another question. When she confessed the awkwardness of the silence he accused her of being uncomfortable with it. Instantly, of course, she began to stutter in an attempt to defend herself against the idea. Her timid ways began to rub the sand shinobi the wrong way and he blandly offered up what he considered a more reasonable reason for her nervousness.

"I bother you," he stated. Again, she jumped to deny the accusation. Dealing blows – it was one thing he was good at. He didn't want her idle banter – as if they were old time friends. He had hoped to quiet her with the verbal confrontation. To finish off the string of comebacks he simply stated that she was nervous, but her response surprised him a little. Instead of quieting under his barrage of words she demanded that he stop acting like he was. After all he had invited her to dance – she had not come to be questioned so. For some reason her response made his victory over her all the sweeter and he almost smiled.

"You wanted me to say something," he couldn't help but adding. The icing on the cake. As he expected, Sakura looked at him in an annoyed fashion – almost catching on that he was egging her on purposefully. Gaara made sure that his expression flattened back to its usual uninterested visage so that she couldn't be entirely sure.

For a moment, Gaara got his wish and they danced in silence. He was free to explore the situation and think to himself. Moving from aspect to aspect he took it all in. The warmth that radiated from her body at such a proximity was something new, even more wondrous where he was allowed to touch her skin – at her hand and hip. He restrained himself from letting his fingers caress the softness of her flesh, although his instincts were driving him mad to do so.
Females. He had about as much taste for them as he did for anybody. Everyone was the same in his insomnia burned eyes – his world painted in various shades of gray. They were all potential enemies. They always had been. Even his own mother meant little to him beyond blood and pain. He had never really known her. She was nothing beyond the enigma that hid deep within his sand. It was very little wonder he had little want to be near anybody – especially women.

Much to his dismay, however, he could feel himself falling victim to one fact – he was human. Despite the fact he felt more monster than anything, he was human at the core. He had the same human needs. The same wants.

Wants that Gaara had been unaware of were quickly surfacing in the few minutes he held the kunoichi close in their dance. He felt her.

Her heartbeat. Her warmth. Her life.

It was all so tempting he wanted to drink it all up given the chance – to somehow devour it and take it inside himself. He suddenly felt hungry and a growing insatiability for new things was erupting deep within him. No one would have known it, though, given his calm exterior.

He had been watching her the entire time, his eyes unable to focus anywhere else. Though her eyes wandered and her hair swayed over her fair cheeks, his never relented. It wasn't long before she looked back up at him and his stomach tightened momentarily as their eyes locked. She didn't look away. She just looked. Gaara wasn't sure if he was still moving – he wasn't even thinking about it. He had begun to wonder if he had drown in his own head until her words shook him out of it.

"Why?

"What?" he asked, sending her out away from him in a twirl in an effort to clear his head quickly. When he brought her back in he made sure she was facing outward with his and her own arms around her. He needed to escape her eyes, if only for a moment, for fear of getting lost again.

"Why are you dancing with me?" He needed a moment again, unsure of how to answer, so he whirled her back out and took a breath, reeling her back in to face him again.

"Why not?" It wasn't his most witty remark, but it was suitable enough.

"You're difficult."

"Yes," he agreed, simply. The kunoichi gave him an almost confused but amused look so cute he could barely contain a smirk pulling at his lips.

She insisted on prodding him then, asking him if he liked to dance. He responded, honestly that, no, he hated dancing. The look on the girl's face showed that he had her thoroughly confused now. Good. That was probably best. Keep her curiosities at bay. Answer one question and she'll just ask more.

"Then why are you dancing?" she needed to know. Gaara realized even he had no real answer for that. In the midst of the minor silence, he'd started to stare at her again and barely even heard the question in the first place. He brought her close, staring at her deeper, willing himself to withstand the daze her eyes caused him to fall into. Sakura seemed to fall into her own daze and ceased her questions. Gaara's hand found her back and eased her closer to him. Just a little more. Even warmer. Her scent is stronger. Just let me bury myself here.

She moved so easily with him. She followed him. She did not pull away. Or scream. Or run. She was precious.

Gaara continued to watch her, unrelenting, though his eyes began to reflect a slight glimmer of yearning. He moved with her slowly – trying to will time itself to slow, and just then it seemed to. He became aware of her form, of her presence fully, and his hands guided her gently. If he moved to fast or held her too hard she would vanish. She would break. She would shatter.

And melt away into the wind. Just like mother.

Please don't break.

"You're different," Sakura observed suddenly, in a quiet tone that brushed over him soothingly.

"I thought I was difficult." At least some parts of his brain were still working. He was as automatic as ever.

"That too," she chuckled softly. "But you're not…. Harsh."

"I don't need to be," he told her. He was afraid to be now. He was everything opposite. He had lost the will to care about what she saw and didn't see in him, though he could not bring himself to come as close as he really wanted.

"What about now?"

"What?"

"Do you like dancing now?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"You seem to be enjoying yourself." Gaara eyed her waywardly, becoming a little more conscious of how he was conducting himself.

"I've never been what I seem," he defended quietly. The girl's silence spoke that she either agreed or didn't mind either way.
The next few moments startled Gaara in ways he had never felt before. Hell, he hadn't been 'startled' for a long time in general. Sakura slipped her hand from his and moved to wrap her arms around his neck, pulling her slender body in close. Although he had wanted to pull her tightly into his arms and feel her close, he hadn't expected any of it to actually come about – much less from her. His body instinctively stiffened at her movement and he could barely stand it all. Despite his fight against it, he was beginning to fall again – drowning in all that she was. He closed his eyes, trying to hold his breath.

Sakura was aware of his discomfort, though, and he felt a sense of relief when she pulled from him. His eyes opened and he looked at her, her eyes regarding him with an unfamiliar concern. She gave him the gentlest of smiles – something he felt was never meant for him – and moved back to their original dancing position to restore his comfort.

He was dazed and a wonderful sort of dizzy. His hunger reared up inside him again. He had just had her there, just moments before, right up close where she needed to be. Where he needed her to be. Now he felt a deeper sense of yearning and a slight bit of desperation to feel it again.

"Turn around," he told her. Again, she looked perplexed so he grasped her shoulders ever so slightly to coax her around himself. With only a bit of hesitation he slid his arms around her, over her own and pulled them up to embrace herself with his. When their arms brushed up over her stomach he could feel her chest heave softly with a deeper breath. Her back was against his chest and he could feel every inch of her warmth now.

Slowly, Gaara felt as if his body were melting as he relaxed behind her. His tensed muscles loosened and he held her even more gently, taking in everything about her. He was engulfed again and he closed his eyes to just let it be so. Even when she spoke again he made no motion to move.

"Are you okay?" she finally whispered back to him.

"Yes," he replied, his own voice sounding a little distant to him in his reverie.

"Sure?"

"Yes," he murmured. He carefully leaned in closer to her, smelling the skin of her neck and shoulder and the sweetness of her pink hair. He wanted to press his cheek against it, to feel the softness, but he had enough logic in his head to tell him not to be too hasty. Sakura had already begun to tense up slightly when he moved closer. He felt and heard her swallow anxiously.

"You're nervous."

"Yes," she replied.

"Why?" His heart ached a little now, at the thought that she might want to leave him, and yet he couldn't make himself pull away.

"Because I don't know what you're doing," she replied, honestly.

"Me either," he replied. He really didn't. Even his responses seemed to just spill out of his mouth like water without any second thought. She could have asked him anything now and he would have answered. Straightforward. No games.

Thankfully, Sakura seemed to keep a good sense of humor about the entire thing and simply agreed that they were feeling the same now and that was okay. He felt her relax back into his arms and he felt his heart speed up a little bit. His lips parted in a gentle sigh.

"Are you nervous?" she almost jokingly prodded.

"No," he instinctively responded.

"You're lying," she said softly. He decided to let her win this one and with her newfound comfort showing, Gaara submitted to his desire to rest his head down against hers. Once or twice his arms tightened around her, testing. She was not breaking, and yes, she was still there. She did not seem to mind and settled herself easily into him.

Gaara wasn't sure what all this was, why he was doing it, or why he was enjoying it. He didn't want to think about it. He just wanted to be inside it. A part of it.

He wanted to know what love really was.