For Those Who Care

Dislcaimer: Bleach (c) Kubo Tite.

War, whether alive or dead, basically sucks.

I'd probably get scolded for saying something so bluntly but what's the use of euphemisms in times like this? War just sucks. Big time. It's no secret, no surprise and definitely no fun.

I'm not just talking about the fighting or the near death risks either.

It's the fact everyone seems to care.

From my family to my friends to the bunch of dead characters who've somehow morphed into my 'allies' and 'nearly friends but not quite there'… everyone cares.

I went out into a fight on my own once after those crazy bunch of captains and vice captains came upside undercover. I kicked the Hollow's butt of course but I suffered for it. Crawled back into my room near sunrise, expecting to bleed in silence.

Guess what I got instead?

"YOU BLOODY IDIOT! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN AND WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL US YOU'D GONE!"

Rukia is LOUD when she wants to be. Hell, she's loud enough on normal days but when she wants to, she can crank up her vocal chords to "Shatter All Eardrums Within 20 Mile Radius".

And then Orihime was there, healing me with this half frown, half worried expression on her face while Chad gives me this silent frown of disapproval. Probably at my carelessness for acting alone.

You'd think an injured person would at least get a break after Rukia's lecturing right?

That idiot of a Shinigami, Abarai Renji suddenly walks up and smacks me upside the head after both the girls were done yelling and bandaging respectively. (Hey, I tried to kick him where it would definitely hurt but I was exhausted).

Then Rangiku-san gives me these dry, subtle remarks that you can't tell if it was meant to be insulting or not. That little twerp, Toushirou makes no secret about his own opinion though: I'm reminded again I'm an absolute moron. Ikkaku and Yumichika just roll their eyes and toss me something to mop up my excess blood and sweat.

This kind of thing just makes me feel worse when I go up against any Hollows. That's because I know damn well that even if I died, I'd never get any peace anyway. And it wouldn't just be from the hiding I'd get from the others.

It'd be my inner voice telling me I shouldn't have gotten killed before repaying them for them caring… telling me that I shouldn't have died so soon when I still have so many people to protect.

It's not the same being dead and protecting them as it is being alive and defending them.

It's the feeling you get when you're alive and your fists hurt after just punching someone's nose out and your blood's pounding in your ears… but you know whoever you just defended is finally safe that makes the difference. It's just not the same as doing the same thing when you're dead.

So, I have to do my best to stay alive. We have to do our best to stay alive. For Rukia and the others, as alive as can be expected of them maybe but the meaning's the same.

It's tempting to just lie down and let yourself get killed when you're tired, bleeding, your hands tremble as they grip the hilt of your sword and you can't see a way out no matter how hard you look.

But because we all know someone out there cares for us and if we're going to repay them for caring, we need to come back to them… we keep fighting, keep dodging, keep running and taking the punches that are thrown at us. And eventually, we find an escape route, most of the time suffering wounds, nicks, cuts and other miscellaneous bruises along the way.

Right now we're battered, tired fighters… but we're still going to keep fighting for all we're worth.

For the sake of those who can't help but care.

End.

A/N: Why Ichigo could go out and fight a Hollow on his own without the others following him and giving him a good butt kick right there and then is beyond me. Sorry about that. Hope it sounded like Ichigo at least somewhat.