I don't know where I'm going with this, or if I'll ever actually finish it. I just want to see what Minty will do next, as she's one of the few characters I've created that is beyond me. Is that even possible?
"Damn!"
"I know."
"I mean-"
"I know."
"What an arse!" Minty finally burst out, voicing the thoughts for the three of them as she joined her roommates at the Gryffindor table at breakfast.
Lily and Alice giggled as they looked at their friend.
"What do you think, Minty, fancy having a go?"
"Now, dears, that wouldn't be sportin' for you two, would it? Not a bleedin' chance for either of you!"
Lily snorted, but knew that her friend was probably right. Minty was basically a mess; frizzy ginger-colored hair, freckles all over, and an uber-muscular frame; she didn't look the type to have nearly every boy in Hogwarts salivating over her. But as she told her friends,
"It's all in the attitude, dears. I think I am a sex goddess, therefore I am one. These poor dumb blokes don't know any better, bless them."
"Oh, we have our ways," said Alice, a curvy sort of washed-out blonde. "I am, after all, the sweetest girl in our year. I'll bowl him over with kindness. Bring him cakes or something."
"You are both way out of your league," Lily said, leaning in to avoid the curious looks of their neighbors at table, "I've got it in the bag. You may have sex appeal, Minty, and you, Alice, may have, um, cakes, but I have a plan."
"Oh, dear me. Sure and last time wasn't your plan involving parboiled rutabagas, and the house-elves wouldn't do our laundry for a month."
"That was different Minty! Hush, now. We don't want him to hear us. Tarquin Pendragon won't know what hit him."
"What are you girls talking about? Greenwitch didn't bring her bludger set down to breakfast for practicing again, did she?"
"Eh, shut it, Black! If I were to bring me bludgers down, you'd be the first to know it. 'Course you'd be oot cold, wouldn't ya?"
"I'd be afraid to be out cold around you, Minty, no telling what you might do to my poor unconscious self."
Minty grinned wickedly and shook her head before turning back to her eggs and hash. "Not an ounce of respect for a lady, that one."
Alice hooted with laughter. "And since when have you considered yourself a lady?"
Minty just glared at her. "What about yourself? Joining our bet agin' Tark Pendragon when you're to be married in six months."
"Oh, I wouldn't do anything to hurt Frank, you know. It's all a bit of fun. Besides, with Frank in Morocco finishing his Auror training, I've got no one to dote on. The owls won't carry my hampers to him anymore."
"Could that be because you tried to owl yourself to him last month? That poor bird's still in traction!"
"Could be. Anyway, Lily, what's your plan, then?"
"We need to settle the bet part of this, first, don't we?"
"No, you know what Minty and I are doing. What are you up to?"
"Just a little healthy competition. I've been studying him, see, and –"
"Sure and haven't we all been?" interrupted Minty, casting another admiring glance at Tark Pendragon's behind, seated at the Ravenclaw table across from them.
Lily glared her into silence. "Anyway, the boy's got a competitive streak a mile long. He can't date anyone from his house; they're all as smart as he is. He won't date a Hufflepuff, too dull, and he could never trust a Slytherin not to outdo him in something or other. All I've got to do is play the pretty, dumb little Gryff, and as soon as he shows interest, I start to pay attention to another guy. He won't stand for that, and before you know it, I win the bet."
"That's a pretty good plan. How do you know we won't try it?"
"Because, Alice, everyone knows about you and Frank, including Tark. The cakes thing might work though – he's vainer than most and will love the flattery. Minty will never think that far ahead, and will rely completely on her-er-"
"Feminine wiles?" Minty completed for her, glaring menacingly at her friends. They nodded, gulping. The words "feminine" and "Minty" just didn't go together. Yet somehow-
"I'm bored with this chitchat. I've got an hour break before me first class. I want some fun. Black!"
"What, Greenwitch? I'm busy!" Sirius was currently nuzzling the neck of a sixth-year, who looked extremely annoyed at the interruption.
"I need to send an owl. I'm using yours. Put that little girl down and meet me in the Owlery, in, oh, how about right now?" With that, Minty got up, smoothed her uniform skirt, and sauntered out of the Great Hall, slamming open the huge doors as if they were weightless. Sirius dropped the sixth-year off his lap ("Hey!") and followed with a celerity that surprised even his friends, whom were used to his lecherous ways.
"What is it about that girl?" Remus Lupin said, as the remaining three boys slid down the benches to sit next to Lily and Alice.
"It's a mystery to us all, Remus. Makes the rest of us work that much harder for attention, but you can't help but like her anyway." The boys nodded in agreement.
"So, Lily, let's meet tonight after dinner and discuss the terms of our wager. I'm off for Charms, but I'll tell Minty at lunch. Do you think you'll be joining us then?"
"Don't know. I've got loads to do now I'm Head Girl. Oi, Potter!" Lily called, looking at her fellow Head. James turned red at hearing Lily call his name, but attempted to appear cool as he slowly looked up from his porridge.
"Evans," he acknowledged.
"Can you meet me at the library at lunch, Potter? We haven't gone over the patrol schedules yet and I want to get it over with before the weekend. Big plans," she said, winking at Alice as they shared a giggle.
"Er, sure, Evans. See you there." To James' credit, he tried his hardest not to look pleased, although Peter Pettigrew, sitting next to Lily, was grinning enough for the both of them.
"What are you up to then, Evans?" Alice asked conspiratorially as they headed out of the Great Hall.
"All part of the plan, Murphy. All part of the plan."
Lily smoothed her hair as she glanced in the glass surrounding the library doors, and then walked in, looking about for James. She knew he would have already arrived; she had purposely made herself late in order to make an entrance.
Spotting her quarry at her favorite table, in the back by a stained-glass window, she slowly and silently walked up to him, and leaned over his shoulder, her red hair framing her face for just the right effect.
"Hello, Potter," she said in his ear, and smirked as he jumped a bit.
"Er, all right, Evans?"
"I brought us some sandwiches from the kitchen. I thought you might be h-". Lily stared in astonishment at the rapidity in which the sandwiches were disappearing from the tray. She quickly grabbed one, nearly losing a hand in the process, only to discover that it was Egg Salad. With extra mayonnaise. Blecch.
"Anyway," she said, once James had slowed a bit, "Down to business." She turned to face James and languidly crossed once leg over the other. "Have you had a chance to look at the schedules?"
"Umm, I, no- er, have you?" James' collar suddenly appeared to be very tight, as he loosened his tie and tugged at it rather frantically. Funny, Lily mused, she didn't think that rubbing his calf ever-so-lightly with the tip of her foot would cause quite that reaction. Boys were odd.
"No," she said, leaning closer to him and lowering her voice a bit. "But I don't think that it will take that long if we work together."
James audibly gulped at that and scrambled to grab the schedules from under the tray that had held the sandwiches.
They worked on the schedules throughout the lunch break. Lily had taken pity on James and let up a bit on the flirting, merely deigning to sit quite a bit closer to him than she usually would. At first, he flushed every time their shoulders brushed or Lily smiled at him, but by the end of the period, not only had they finished the patrol schedules but James had become much more comfortable with Lily's company, even if he wasn't sure why he was receiving so much of it.
"Not bad, Potter. Good work today," Lily said as she packed up.
"Thanks, Evans. Not so bad yourself. We might yet manage to pull this off."
"I'm counting on it, James," Lily replied, her voice suddenly husky. With a wink she walked out of the library, with a bit more swing in her step than was strictly necessary. James sat down heavily, staring at her swaying hips.
"What the bloody hell was that all about?"
"All right, lads, what's it gonna be?"
"For the last time, Minty, we're not boys," Alice admonished, attempting to smooth her skirt down. The three friends were sitting in a tangled mass in their favorite window seat, inside Gryffindor's common room. Alice looked over at the four boys huddled around the chess table at the far side of the room, whom were whispering furtively and glancing in their direction every so often. "Speaking of boys, what are those four up to? What did you two do to Potter and Black today?"
"Now Alice, that sounded like an accusation! The boys are perfectly unharmed, you can see for yourself. I just – confused mine a bit, is all. All part of the plan."
"If you say that one more time, Lily," growled Minty darkly. She had been in a bad mood all day. According to her, Black hadn't lived up to his considerable reputation, and Minty took this as a personal slight. Sirius, for once, was looking incredibly nervous. "Black is lucky to be walking around here after-"
"PLEASE!" both her friends shrieked in unison. "We don't want details, Minty. We'll take your word for it that he's a wanker," Alice said, while Lily nodded fervently.
"Let's just get to the bet, shall we?"
Lily nodded. "Too right. What will the losers do for the winner? Obviously, the winner gets Pendragon, so the losers will just have to pay a penalty."
"The losers will have to – do the winner's homework for a month," said Minty promptly.
"No, because I don't want you doing my homework, Greenwitch!" Lily exclaimed, while Minty nodded sagely.
"Sure, darlin', and I won't be, because I'll be winnin', won't I?"
Lily kicked her feet against the wall in frustration. "We've done so many bets. Is there anything we haven't done?"
"Alright. How about this. The winner, right, gets to choose dates for the losers to take on the next Hogsmeade weekend after the bet is won." Alice sat up straighter, her cheeks glowing with pride at her stroke of brilliance.
"Ooh, that's good," Lily said, as Minty laughed loudly. "Bet's on?"
"Bet's on." Minty and Alice said, and the three girls piled their hands, one on top of the other.
"I, Lily Lorena Evans,"
"I, Alice Blythe Murphy,"
"I, Araminta… Greenwitch,"
"Wait, what was that, Minty? Didn't quite catch your middle name there."
"If you're tellin' anyone, I'll-"
"We won't. What is it? you're interrupting the vow!"
"Eugenie." Minty buried her face in her hands.
"Your parents named you Araminta Eugenie Greenwitch?"
"Not so loud, Murphy! The whole room will be hearin' you!"
"Anyway," Lily continued, much more successfully not giggling than Alice, "We three witches vow to follow through with our wager to the bitter end, and take the consequences or be squibs. By Merlin."
"By Merlin," Alice and Minty chorused, Minty glaring at Alice (who was still giggling) before flouncing off to bed. It was definitely not Minty's day.
"So what do you think Black did wrong?" Alice whispered, and Lily leaned in as the two girls gossiped about their friend. Meanwhile, across the room –
"What do you think I did wrong?" Sirius asked his mates, watching Minty rather wistfully as she ran up the stairs to her dorm. "I never do anything wrong. Not in that department! I finally get a chance with that wench, and when the bell rings she just adjusts her robes, picks bird seed out of my hair, and asks- "
"Are you sure you're Sirius Black then?" his friends finished for him in chorus, mimicking Minty's brogue.
"Mate, we've heard this fifty times now. I think Potter's problems are probably more pressing," Remus said, stopping for a minute when he realized the alliteracy of his last statement.
"Anyway," he said, shaking his head. "Why do you think Lily's suddenly flirting with Prongs here?"
"Maybe she finally likes me back," James said hopefully, and his friends laughed at him.
"In your dreams, mate," Sirius said. "Though, who knows? This has been one hell of a weird day. Evans flirting with you, a woman leaves me after a snogging session unhappy, who knows what's going on?"
"I say we make it our mission to find out what they're up to," Peter said. "Alice Murphy tried to feed me four different kinds of cake on break this afternoon, but she had such a gleam in her eye that I was afraid to try them." Peter sighed. He loved cake.
"Deal," Sirius said. "Remus, you're the only one they haven't attacked yet, and you're rather sly and quiet-like. Do you think you can do some recon tomorrow with the girls in Charms?"
"I'll try, but I think that 'attacked' is kind of a strong word, don't you?"
"You haven't spent an hour alone with Minty Greenwitch."
"Point taken."
Chapter Two: In which the girls work on Tark Pendragon, Remus turns 007, James snags Lily's plans for him, and Sirius takes snogging 101. From Peter.
A/N: Minty's last name is pronounced 'Grenn-itch'. I can't help her name or personality. She popped into my head exactly the way she is. I can't change her, I've tried, but it doesn't work.