Author's notes: Darn, I got stuck. Sorry for the delay. Thanks a bunch for the reviews! Oh, by the way, the Kodachi manga I mentioned here is something I made up. I'm not sure if there's a manga existing with the same title but if there is, I wasn't referring to that. There, hope that's clear. On with the story!
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin and its characters, or the song "Coin Operated Boy" by the Dresden Dolls.
----Many shapes and weights to choose from/ I will never leave my bedroom/ I will never cry at night again/ Wrap my arms around him and pretend...----
Coin Operated Boy!
By Tesuka- chan
Chapter 3: Shapes and Weights
She sipped her coke.
He sipped his tea.
Misao grabbed the menu from the table and glared at it as if it was the only thing that will be able to save her from the end of the world. She risked a glance at him and noted that his face was averted, stoic eyes looking coolly at the fascinating scene inside the kitchen, their table being nearest to the service areas. He was still wearing that costume, and if he ever felt uncomfortable wearing it, it didn't show.
He wears it well, she'll give him that. And his eyes... just a shade darker and it will be exactly like the character's eyes. The shape of his face is right too… She blinked, realized what she just thought of and bit the inside of her lip to stop that particular train of thought. Who cares anyway? She doesn't. Why should she care about a man who massacres a work of art?
She went back to glaring at the menu.
She wasn't supposed to be here, in front of him, choosing from a selection of tempuras. She was supposed to be back at her dorm, happily going over her purchases from the anime fair, dammit!
How did she end up here at the Akabeko, having a date with a Shinomori-Aoshi- wannabe anyway!
Thirty minutes ago…
"I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO HAVE A DATE WITH YOU!"
"Likewise."
"It's good that you agree with me then! So, where's my 150 dollars?"
The cosplayer narrowed his eyes at the haughty girl with the outstretched arm.
"Hey, I need to be compensated for my loss. Cough it up, will you? I don't have all day."
"That's not my problem," he said and started to turn away. Misao's eyes widened. The absolute NERVE of the guy!She quickly placed herself in front of him, hands on her waist, a determined chin up. "Well, it happens to be MY problem that is connected to YOU. Since we BOTH agreed that we do not want to go to this date, YOU should give me at least 75 dollars, half the original loss."
"…"
"That or you get me another doll."
"No." He started to walk again towards the changing rooms.
"And why not?" Misao demanded, halting him yet again. She will not budge until he gives in. 150 dollars down the drain? Not if she can help it.
"Because you're the one who bid for it without knowing what it is you're bidding for," he said with a sidelong glance at her, "and because I'm the victim here."
Misao's teeth clenched. So what if what he said was true?
Jade clashed with Ice. It was an uncanny, yet amusing sight – a petite woman glaring at a much taller man.
And then, "it" came.
"It" – the screaming, squirming, moving mass of human flesh molded into one – was heading towards their direction. "It" was wearing high school uniforms and armed with cameras and polaroids. "It" was led by a certain rooster-haired man who waved a fist-full of bills and pointed towards the cosplayer.
The glaring battle forgotten, both looked at the incoming "it"; she with an astonished and alarmed expression on her face, he with a palpable aura of anger and perhaps a tinge of fear emanating from his form.
"Oh my god! Over there!"
"It's him!"
"IT'S SHINOMORI AOSHI!"
That last squeal almost burst Misao's eardrums. They were coming, and they were coming fast. She had to get out of here… but "It" was already surrounding the both of them! There's no stopping them now, it was too late! What was she to do? She glanced at the man beside her and for a moment she thought he had a look of helplessness in his face. But it was gone in a blink, replaced by a cold mask of anger. She cringed as a high-pitched voice yelled right beside her. Her hand fisted, and she felt the paper crumbling in it.
She had an idea.
Misao – with a little difficulty and a lot of pushing and shoving – raised her fingers to her mouth, let in a breath and whistled loudly.
"It" looked at her.
"Okay, now that I've got your attention, I have an offer to make," she felt a cold gaze directed at her, but she ignored it and raised her hand that was holding the paper. "Each of you has a chance to have a date with the one and only Shinomori Aoshi, given the right price!"
A series of squeals and screams was heard throughout the place. A janitor from afar started praying after hearing the terrifying noises. Wolves from the nearby zoo started to howl and birds flew away from the treetops. It was a horrible sound indeed.
"All right, ALL RIGHT!" Misao's ears were ringing. "QUIET PLEASE and BACK OFF! You don't want your dear Shinomori Aoshi to suffocate, don't you? Just take a step backward… you! Back off a little, will ya? Yeah you with the… uh… uniform. I mean… just step back! All right, let's start the bidding shall we?"
Misao grinned. She was a genius! Not only will she be able to have a chance to get out of this mob alive, but she may even get her money back, earn a little more, and get rid of the stupid idiot beside her. It was perfect.
However, for the tall man beside her clad in leather strips and pants, it was not perfect. It was hell. He absolutely will not let this happen. He won't be able to stand sitting alone with a high school kid drooling over him for a minute, let alone an hour. He cannot let this happen. He will NOT let this happen. Oh, and Sano WILL be evicted from HIS room, but that was a small irritation to be solved later. As for this moment, he had to do something.
He saw that troublesome girl raise her hand with the piece of paper clutched in it. That's it… that paper. Cerulean eyes narrowed.
"Okay, shall we start from 150 dollars?" Misao was on top of the table now, feeling on top of the world.
"Oh,150! Here!" A girl with a headband screamed.
"200 dollars!" Another yelled.
"Um, 207 dollars and… 50 cents!" a rather chubby girl shrieked.
This was going way better than she thought! Now if only the person whose life she's ruining won't run away… speaking of which! Long braid whipped around as she quickly glanced at the spot where "Shinomori Aoshi" was. He's gone! She scanned the area for him when…
"I'll take this." Something grabbed her wrist and tugged.
She was falling, no, she was flying and "It" was heaving a collective gasp and became a blur… then, oh! Why was the door rushing towards her? Strange… oh, was she really flying? And why was her wrist starting to ache and what was that strange dark blob in front of her? Oh look, the sky!
Then it all stopped, and poor Misao found herself sitting on the sidewalk, blinking.
Um, what just happened?
She looked around and saw that the dark blob was actually the stupid cosplayer. He was crouched down on the pavement and was looking back at the building behind them. And he was still holding her wrist.
"Hey, are you done with that?" She said sarcastically, pointing to her hand. The cosplayer looked at her with a kind of surprised look, as if wondering why she was there. He looked down at their hands, blinked, and let go. The miffed girl winced and rubbed her wrist. Miracle of miracles, she was still holding the paper and – thank goodness – her purchases.
"I was aiming for the paper."
WHAT! "Oh, and you just happened not to notice the girl that came with it!" Misao vehemently exclaimed.
He gave her a sidelong glance and was about to speak when they heard a series of shrieks and shouts. "It" was after them.
Without a word, both stood up and ran.
They were lucky that the Akabeko was near the university. Once cosplayer man saw the sign, he grabbed the protesting girl, went inside, showed the coupon to the astonished manager and practically hid at the deepest, darkest corner of the restaurant. They saw a glimpse of the high-school-girls-stampede, passing by the window of the restaurant. They were safe.
And now, Misao was pissed off, ravenous, and getting ready to bite the cosplayer's head off, and then some.
She glared at the menu, seeing red.
Jade eyes peeped over the edge of the menu and saw the man in front of her still observing the kitchen activities. The silence between them was killing her.
"Are you ready to order?" The bright smile of the waitress was sickening. Everyone should be angry with her!
"Two Ebi Tempura box set, two orders of California Maki, two mixed sashimi set and two plates of gyozas." She glanced at the cosplayer. "Aren't you going to order?"
Unable to hide her surprise, the waitress almost broke her pencil in half.
"No."
Misao turned back to the waitress and said, "that's it. Oh, and please add two boxes of mochi balls. Green tea."
"Yes ma'm." Somehow, when the waitress left, her bright smile wasn't so bright anymore.
The petite girl sighed and sipped more of her coke. She started drumming her fingers against the table. To spite him, she stared at him for quite some time. But still, there he was sitting oh-so-calmly with no expression on his face whatsoever. The kitchen was noisy but for Misao, the atmosphere was too quiet. She never really could stand the silence. She could never bear it for long.
"You should've just let me bid off the coupon."
"…"
"That way, I would've gotten my money back and you would have had a date with a young girl in a high school uniform! Isn't that the fantasy of all men?"
"…"
This was getting frustrating. It's like talking to an ice block.
"Alright cosplayer, what's your name?"
He finally looked at her indifferently and sipped his tea. For a while, she thought he wouldn't answer her, then he said, "Shinomori Aoshi."
Misao snorted.
"Oh, this is rich! Are you still in that fantasy world? HELLO! Wake up! You're in the real world now. Stop fucking around. I'm asking you a simple question: What's your name?"
He raised an eyebrow at the profanity she mentioned. "That is my real name."
She wanted to scream. She laughed instead. "Right, right. Okay, I'll go along with you. So you're THE Shinomori Aoshi, vampire hunter extraordinaire. You came from the Meiji Era and you're here to avenge the death of your lover."
There was something about this girl that made Aoshi want to tease her and say yes, he was all that. He almost smiled. Almost. He didn't answer her, just watched her go on and on, reluctantly amused.
"Okay then, on to the personal stuff." The girl tapped her finger on her chin, brow furrowed in thought. He sipped his tea. "You're 26, your birthday is on January, height is six feet flat, weight is one hundred and sixty pounds, black hair, blue eyes, blood type A. You like green tea and the color blue."
Shinomori Aoshi, vampire hunter extraordinaire and all of the above poured more tea.
"You're a master of kenpou and your technique is the Nitou Ryuu. After a while, you learned to use the two kodachis, the Kodachi Nitouryu," Misao finished. Damn this guy. He didn't even bat an eyelash. "So that's who you are, huh?"
The waitress saved him from answering as she came and served the food. The girl literally dove in the food and started gobbling everything up.
"Know what, truth is, you look nothing like him." Kami-sama, she just won't shut up even while eating. He watched her chew, swallow (or tried to), almost choke, and drink a whole glass of coke while thumping her chest. It was fascinating, like discovering a new kind of species. Then she spoke again while working her way through the next bento box. "You're eyes are too light, your nose is too big, and your chin is too long."
And your butt is too sexy in those leather pants, she thought. Startled at that sudden revelation, she swallowed a little too fast. Where did that come from? She started attacking the mochi balls.
"…"
She finished the last of her dessert and sat back, her appetite sated. She watched him under lidded eyes; he, infuriatingly indifferent and calm while sipping his tea. She wanted to break it, his smug calm and his fantasy world. He had no right to BE Shinomori Aoshi. After a while, she grinned as an idea popped in her head.
"Say… let's talk about your kodachi." There was an evil gleam in those blue-green eyes. "It's shorter and softer than a normal katana. Why do you use it? A katana is much more practical since it is LONGER and so much HARDER than two kodachis. Does it give you… pleasure when you use it in your… practice? Tell me, do you think the number compensates for the lack of length?"
Shinomori Aoshi, vampire hunter extraordinaire, spurted tea out of his mouth.
She turned to him, eyes shining with 'innocence'. She was finally enjoying this so-called date of hers. "Oh my, whatever were you thinking? I was just asking about your tool, your weapon."
He wiped the tea off his mouth. This girl was… he shook his head. It's been a long time since a girl affected him this much. Come to think of it, it's been a long time since anyone affected him this much.
"You talk too much."
"Why thanks, that's a given fact actually."
"What's your name?"
"Oh, silly me, where's my manners? Makimachi Misao at your service! Fine Arts student, 20 years old and number one kodachi fan." Mischievous green eyes narrowed as she said, "that's why I could never forgive you for what you did to Shinomori Aoshi, Aoshi-sama."
He stared at her for a while, eyes assessing and coldly calculating.
"Fine arts. Do you do caricatures?"
Misao snorted. "Do I? Do you breathe? Does the sun rises on the east and sets on the west?"
"I'll give you your money back. Meet me at the school newspaper's office tomorrow at 5 pm."
Green eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What if I have a class?"
"Do you?"
"No."
"Then it's settled."
Aoshi stood up and left a small tip on the table. "Don't be late." He walked away, not noticing the stares of the women from the other tables. He stopped outside, looked at the direction of where "It" headed and went to the other direction.
What the heck was that? Misao fumed. That high-handed, egocentric, yummy-assed bastard! Geesh. She couldn't believe that a guy like him exists! He was so… UGGGH! And so… ARGHH!
Dammit.
Not to mention really hot. And it was fun the way she was able to crack him. She smiled, feeling smug. Well, tomorrow at 5pm, she will get her money to buy a katsu original (somehow) and will never see him again.
Good riddance to Shinomori Aoshi.
And now, shewill go home,finally get toenjoyher purchases and will call... Oh holy crap. Kaoru.
"DAMMIT MISAO! YOU LEFT ME AGAIN!" Kaoru wailed at the empty function room.
The janitor outside, hearing another terrifying sound, finally gave up and decided to retire the next day.
A/n: but is it really 'good riddance'? MWAHAHAHAHA! Things are getting interesting… ;)
To explain Misao's rather unusual hatred, remember that she's in love with the character of the manga and is annoyed at Shinomori Aoshi wanna-be's because they couldn't live up to the character. But even though she really wants to hate the real Aoshi, she couldn't help but like him because he's so much like the character (Duh, Katsu based it on him… but she doesn't know that :D). Therein lies her conflict of interest and our plot.
So, any questions? Violent reactions? Say it all at the review box!