A/N: So? Did anyone miss me? Four months later than I wanted to be so I suppose there isn't a welcoming committee, or at least not one without clubs. heh-heh. What I won't say however is use that age old excuse that my computer crashed, really it's as common as the dog eating your homework gig.

Aug 2010 edit** Now regretably some of you have probably noticed that I haven't even touched this for a full two years. Think that offically qualifies this as placed on hold. There is more material and underplot that was planned to follow this, but I just haven't been motivated to write for it at all and instead have been working on several larger, actual stories that take up my ponderings. One person did challenge me semi-seriously to look into this again recently though I am more concerned to finally wrap up Resolutions which unlike this, does have a more clear end. So instead for time being I went through to update spacing formats and fix the page breaks that ffnet messed up, some of it was pretty crappy and rendered parts rather hard to read. But I shall revisit one day when in a cracktastic mood.

Other than that, thank you all for those who sent in some ideas and especially the quirky/odd ones, they provided me with many a chuckle combining them and I hope they do the same for you. Enjoy! - Credits are at the bottom!

M – explicit scenes and many a sexual implication.

Disclaimer - the credits are at the bottom that don't relate to Evangelion, otherwise yeah Anno I guess owns the rights of this.

Warning: LCL is the best you'll get

CHAPTER 10 You be the Judge - it's your own stuff after all

"So let me get this strait…you made clones of me why?" Agent Kaji addressed NERV's king and queen of deceit, turning from the LCL tanks.

"We wish for you to test our next version of…an old experiment of ours." The blonde explained. "You'll be revived into a new body if you should happen to somehow die, complete with memories and your entire self being."

"Does it have the same conditions as they had in the '6th-day'?" He asked warily.

Gendo looked clueless to this reference – sure they had laws against cloning but he never heard of such articles… "The movie" the Dr. pointed out for him.

"Ah…never saw it." He deadpanned.

"But no, it's still your soul passing into the next body with your DNA calling to it." Akagi reaffirmed.

"What are you planning to use it for though? Build up an army or something?" He speculated. "

-Ouh!" Gendo sounded suddenly inspired and took out a note pad, but the Dr. cut in whispering "We already do that – Evas remember?"

Gendo paused, frowned and then nodded. "Shinji has become an influential figure – we cannot lose him" he let on. 'Besides he can only please so many, but with his copies we will easily sway the entire population of women – that's my boy!' He was cheering inside though. Truly amazing how stoic he could remain on outside appearances isn't it?

"So that's it? How am I supposed to test this actually, and what's my incentive?" The spy probed to get the gritty details.

"For one. You will keep your silence about this as agreed when we rescued you from that…shaven fate." Kaji nodded gravely and trembled at the pain and humiliation he was spared from a bikini wax. The blonde continued "As for incentive, you can mess with Misato without fear of death-"

"-SOLD! Ooohh Misato-darling!" The agent started calling as he jogged out of the chamber.

Gendo simply slipped his glasses back up, pleased with how easy it was to get the spy to slip into his plans. "This shall provide some entertainment."

"We're not actually going to go through with this are we?" Akagi started to worry.

"-Fuuuck No! Unplug the system immediately and setup a clone army program; after all 'waste not'. We'll be rid of agent Kaji soon enough."

The two left now also, not taking any notice of the watching pair of eyes belonging to a sister clone of Ayanami. It wasn't the Kaji clones, nor the events that had just transpired that she was looking at though, but the other addition to the room. A young teen boy identical to the pilot of Evangelion unit 01 floating in its tank only a few meters away, naked. The clone smiled in appreciation and shared with her older sister.

0000000000

He didn't know what brought this on, where it came from, or what to do about it. But he did know that if he moved, he would be screwed – not that he wasn't being screwed at the moment in a sense…

Here laid Shinji Ikari in a very familiar situation as with during the Eva free-for-all simulation. Only this time no Eva, simulated or otherwise was involved. That was an actual pair of hips sliding around on his thigh courtesy to his girlfriend Rei.

"…so big…" she mumbled. Yeah it was getting there alright…any more and it would allow that warm body to stroke it as she continued those dream induced movements. He prayed she really was asleep. Because anything else would be just too weird, and hot.

Then she began panting on his neck and her blouse started to ride up, letting him catch a feel of panties on his thigh as his shorts had ridden up also. He seriously thought a heart attack was very possible now despite his young age. In a desperate move to prevent the other goodies from bursting out onto his bare chest, Shinji reached around carefully and tugged the shirt edges back down over her hip. In the process though he tugged a tad too much making the first button to come undone and freed one of her shoulders. His hands also just happened to brush the end of her bottom at a very crucial time-

Unfortunately Shinji had been in too much shock at what he had done, that he missed being witness to the beautiful reactions flowing through the girl. Glossed ruby eyes slid lazily open a few seconds after it was over, along with a very content smile - though she wasn't exactly sure why she felt so.

"G-Good morning Rei-cchan…um, are you feeling alright?"

"I feel, wonderful." She sighed, then tilted her head in that cute way "…and sticky… Shinji, you are bleeding from the nostrils."

"I know Rei, I know."

0000000000

"AARRRGGG MISATO! I AM NOT HIS BABYSITTER – YOU'RE THE GUARDIAN HERE, SO WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME WHERE THAT BAKA IS!"

Asuka's morning yells were as bad as ever, especially when the two were only in the confines of an elevator. True this punishment was somewhat deserved as Misato was supposed to be their guardian and berating the red head for not watching him wasn't the way to shift blame. No, the blame lay with Rei as to her namesake ghost, she had indeed made Shinji disappear, safe no doubt but there went her meal ticket.

Misato tried to calm her nerves "Really I shouldn't worry though, how much trouble could those two get into?"

"Probably making freaky clone babies" Joined a new voice.

The two jumped and whirled around to face the back of the elevator. There stood the Commander in all his dark glory staring back at them. "Yes?"

"Where, when, d-did…?" Misato sputtered.

"Why?" Gendo tried to join in. "This is my route to the bridge – and I was not aware that females in my son's presence reverted to his poor mannerisms as well."

"HOW the hell did you get in here!" Asuka clarified matters. "You weren't there a minute ago – and we're in front of the doors!"

The man only started humming 'Olde to Joy' to himself, but Misato noticed a loose ceiling tile in the corner.

'Geez I know he's paranoid, but honestly…And clone babies? – I didn't know the commander had any sense of humor…oh god he couldn't be serious – could he? Ok this is going to be a headache down the road. Yep I can feel it starting now –'

"Another thing Katsuragi" the commander addressed to her. "Let us meet tonight, bring the bunny costume."

He confidently strolled out onto the bridge as she could only stare astounded that he would mention her additional part-time job in front of Asuka. Trembling slightly to face a horrified teen from her revealed disgrace, she was relieved that it seemed the girl had been muttering in her own world the whole time. So she put on her 'Major Katsuragi just got up' face and walked stiffly into the command center.

A few seconds later the girl left behind nodded to herself. "Ok that's not too surprising" and then stepped out as well.

And not a moment too soon either. Suddenly there were whirring, screeches, then a large bang as another elevator car smashed up from beneath the other. The old style iron gates clanked open and out tumbled Shinji – shaken, not stirred – followed by a windswept, but otherwise stoic Rei Ayanami.

"Oh merciful stable floor – I swear if that thing fell again, we were going to die…"

"There you are baka! What the hell, you just about killed me!" Asuka graced him with a greeting. "And isn't there only supposed to be one per shaft."

"Indeed pilot Sohryu." Rei pointedly glared at her and then greenly to the floor which the boy was now whispering his affections to.

"Ouuu burn'd!" chided Maya from her console at which Ritsuko eyed her tech. closely and sighed. "Your intoxicated again aren't you…detox, now." pointing the way like a master commanding its bitch back to the rug by the door. The dismissed tech. pouted, but headed toward the medical wing via elevator. Before the iron rails closed she called out though "You'll come by and cuddle wit-" but there was a clang and woosh as it went.

"…It fell again…" Rei stated.

0000000000

"I am Armisel. Armisel are we. I hold your population hostage. Send the Chosen One to us or we shall destroy the pitiful lair you all squirm in like the rodents that you are. No threats or many males will become unics. You have one hour. Also, if by chance a newly shaven man hides among you, send him as well – one place remains yet to be shaven…to complete the visage of that pitiful being's size." Armisel ended the message with a casual raise of an old fashioned razor.

Kaji tried to pass off any reactions of nervousness and cupped his bare chin as everyone started scrambling from the message. Apparently the enemy still had control of the surface and had yet to end the pursuit of Shinji.

"…Newly shaven man…what the heck is that about?" Misato pondered not noticing the slight cough coming from the corner. "Well they said 'if', so we shouldn't have to worry about complying with that order. Are we sure this is an angel?"

"Blue pattern positive!" Called Aoba.

"Most of the civilians up there are being controlled by it, but hides among them also – Options?"

"I say NUKE the Fucking Fuckers." Chimed in Gendo.

"S-Sir?" Gaped Shigeru. "I don't think the UN is going to go with that plan…".

"A hunt and destroy fire team?" Sub-commander Kouzou suggested.

"-90 pecent of them have been captured though sir." Another tech. noted.

"Shit that doesn't leave us many options…" Misato started stomping circles "But on the other hand, it hasn't even mentioned Adam or anything about harming… Shinji!"

"Um, y-yes Misato?

"I'm sorry but we have no choice-"

"-No. NO! You can't!"

"I concur with the Major." Gendo jumped at the chance to send his boy to 'where no man has boldly gone before.' It would be the perfect testing of the boy's influence. "Akagi, prepare the drug." At which the doctor went to an emergency panel on the wall and took from it a very familiar black can. Shinji started relapsing from the memory of running from school the other day, but it was Rei who held him from running off like a gazelle – no he would be forced to meet the lionesses this time round.

Oddly it was Asuka who came to his rescue. "HOLD ON for just one second! That would give the pervert exactly what he wants!" …in her usual way…

"I recognize that bitch on the video. She jumps any guy's bone just to piss off any other girl that has a crush. And if you're saying she's the Angel, I'll gladly go stomp her with my Eva – I don't care if some idiots loose their balls."

The screen behind her flickered back to life bringing another broadcast from Armisel Live "We have just found the identity of our shaven man. You may send up one Kaji Ryoji. Comparing his small size to the Chosen One's will amuse me."

"Fuck the Eva – I'll tear her apart myself right NOW!"

0000000000

"Asuka, are you sure about this?" Misato tried one last time to talk the girl out of the hell bent crusade of rage. This was only the second time she tried though; honestly many of those in NERV wouldn't really miss her if just something were to happen to her. But this was a most curious chance for something to 'happen'. She only gained a glare in return.

"Okay, power up the Magnetic Acceleration Lift. Launch in 5."

The red-haired girl merely grabbed a central railing on the lift pad. Granted it was set at half power, but to ride this thing without the assistance of any equipment – mainly an LCL dampening cockpit, Dr. Akagi had to admit would be an interesting way to go.

"Launch!"

And the elevator was sent screaming up to the surface, but never did the knees even buckle was how steel-willed this individual was at the moment. Those left below at first heard nothing but silence as she confronted an awaiting Armisel and traded a verbal spat. Then sure enough came the quakes and brimstone. Each intense minute felt like an hour and one second. A final 'thump' sounded through the earth and armored plates over the Geofront.

"Blue pattern has been erased!"

The lift slowly came back to rest, only this time accompanied with a gracious smear of blood across its top, and no Asuka. It had just clicked back into place when a faint flapping noise seemed to be coming down the shaft until it revealed someone dropping like a stone. The pad had no chance and gave way bending under the impact as her feet met for a perfect landing. The figure raised her head in triumph.

"And THAT! Is why they call me ASUKA THE MAGNIFICENT!"

…

"Holy crap we can use this! Shinji – you, are, a, GENIUS!"

"Wha…?" The girl could only blink as they ignored her and were crediting Shinji with HER kill?

"Oh, you're still alive, you did well also Asuka" Misato chided from her position of ruffling the Third Child's hair.

"Clearly size does matter!" Another tech grinned.

"Damnit – Shinji is NOT bigger than Kaji! No one could ever be! He's the greatest and as manly as they come!" The commander chuckled to himself reflecting back on how the spy looked like such a pansy with pleading eyes for mercy as Gendo himself rescued the pitiful fool. That's right; Mr. high and mighty had indeed joined the party, for completely different reasons of course, but it had been so worth seeing the lesser man unable to fend off the hot wax-wielding teenage girls.

"Sorry to burst your bubble," Misato let on "but Kaji ain't all that big – sure for a first timer, but after…" Seeing that her charge wasn't likely to be convinced anytime soon thought of another idea.

"Fine, we'll settle this – winner gets to personally confirm Shinji's size!" The purple haired guardian declared. Asuka however wasn't going to step down from her standing. "Fine! I'll play along just to prove you wrong!"

Seeing an unwanted situation cropping up, the enigmic girl on the side closed her eyes in order to concentrate on forming a plan of escape, making contact with one of her others. She would need a diversion.

0000000000

Elsewhere, another pair of red irises opened taking in the information for her premature awakening. Soon enough her nude form made way to the top of the LCL chamber and over to another. Waking the other didn't take long (besides her appreciative gazing) and she gestured the male figure to the prepared clothes to get dressed. "We have work to do."

The boy shyly nodded trying not to peek at the mysterious beautiful girl too much. Suddenly he stopped halfway through pulling the pants on backwards when he turned to her with a clear questioning frown. "Um…who am I?"

0000000000

"I've always wanted a chance to test this thing out…" The blond doctor commented almost happily as she keyed in some commands. One of the larger panel doorways of the center's walls clanked apart to allow an arena like construction to slide into place.

Game of the day decided by Commander Ikari: Mud Wrestling

Only that instead of mud, out of hoses flowed the all too familiar orange goo associated with the Evas. "However LCL is the best we've got on hand for such short notice, plus it's more sanitary."

"Okay so who's the first match?" Misato was getting giddy with the idea of corrupting the deserving pilot. A dark little snicker was her only warning as she was suddenly tackled down into the glop. Shinji didn't understand why everyone suddenly went silent as his guardian lifted her head and looked on at Kaji with the most bewildered look ever to grace her sober face.

"K-Kaji? I…I had no idea. I thought you'd be last to swing that way. Y-you do realize that we're fighting over Shinji's meat right? Please tell me the truth! - we, I can help you Kaji, I can beat it out of you!" Hope and misery tumbled from the worried major as she started whacking the man over the head.

"Looks like I better referee…" sighed the doctor and removed the lab coat to strip down to the wet suit. Once she dropped down into the mix however the undercover and cowardly spy hid behind her. "…Wow Rits, you sure kept that ass in shape."

A fist from each woman landed with a meaty thunk upon each cheek and he was thrown back against the wall. Which was enough to get the spaced out red head back into defending her man "KAJI!" and jumped down into the mix. Per usual it didn't take long for it to be clear that anyone, whether it was Shinji or Kaji, were in a bad situation when Asuka Sohryu forces them to be her tag-team partner. Then again for all its faults and pain induced upon her living shield, it did prove effective against her enemies. Sure the two women got in some spectacular hits, but that meant nothing really if it was all wasted on only one of them while the girl skillfully evaded by swinging around her shield to block and then strike out again.

"Misato," the faux blond panted to her partner "we need to split them up. Blitz tactic #4 – hutt!" On the command the major full-out bodily tackled the pair. From there the doctor went after the pilot who had ducked out at the last moment and evaded being buried into the LCL, leaving Misato to continue her…treatment to fix the confused man. Kaji took the flailing about in stride by letting his 'out of control' hands fall on places without notice.

"Three thousand yen on Akagi!" One of the techs called out and began a frenzy of wagering. The sub-commander glanced over to his superior, Gendo glanced back to Kozo. "I'll wager something interesting will happen before the fight is concluded."

Ritsuko could dance in joy if not for the moment. It was her goal to get this delinquent child strapped down to a table and completely under her torture, but this would do. Finally she would get the chance to have a valid reason to beat the girl senseless. Knowledge of the pressure points – of pleasure and pain, especially the ones of pain, were going to get a workout at last! For all the energy that the german girl had in her S2 organ of rage, it was almost immediate when the doctor started of all things, poking her – her right arm wasn't moving and hurt like hell trying to flex it back into a useful position. Next went her other arm from the wrist down, her neck and then one of her legs. Now the doctor had a painful clamp holding the webbing between neck and shoulder, her only functional leg forced to keep her weight up into the hold or allow the flesh to tear.

Unable to even roll her neck, Asuka took note of that it did go with the gravity and movement of her body. Taking advantage of this fact she let one side of her body tilt down, her head following. And teeth clamped down hard on the hand holding her. She was dragged off her foot as the doctor pulled away, but she wasn't letting go and the feeling was starting to come back in her other arm, using it to bat at her opponent.

Knowing the effects weren't long lasting, Ritsuko felt she could go a few more rounds to dish it out on the girl, but to get her off the wrist was going to need one point that was rather ultimate and would prematurely end the torture. That was acceptable though, why let the pilot believe she had a chance of coming out on top when she could crush and show she was still just a child. A simple squeeze using the thumb and middle digit on both sides of the spine at the base of the skull was enough to comically drop the girls mouth like a puppet's for a vantrilloquist, before toppling her over face first into the area's goo.

There was a sadistic chime behind them as the evil-incarnate of all elevators made its reappearance. A wide eye and sickly Maya twitched her legs to move from the iron cage, gazing at nothing in particular she rather calmly announced "You…have no…idea…where that thing goes…" before immediately heading towards Gendo.

He was about to call her off, until she started feeling him up. No man would dare waste such a chance for a cute lesbian to do such a thing to them, or woman in some cases. But the dirty fantasy ended abruptly as the tech found what she was looking for – she was his supplier after all, she knew he had it. And proceeded to drain the commander's whisky flask, who was rather impressed.

The unnoticed newcomer who had joined Maya in the middle of the 'Elevator of Terror' ride calmly joined the staff gathering and decided to introduce himself. "Yo. I'm the Fifth Child, Kowaru Nagisa; also known as Tabris, the 17th Angel. Nice to meat you! If you're lonely at night, gender doesn't matter just give me a call – in fact right now lets have an orgy!" He then took in a good view of his new home operation center – things here sure were more interesting than back at Seele already!

A battered Kaji was thrown at his feet in response "Can you fix him?"

"I'm sorry ladies, but this man has an unhealthy case of homo-phobia."

"You mean he isn't broken?"

"Sadly so."

Maya gave herself a shake from her wild trip that had indeed served as its own detox remedy. Under the affect of new alcohol in her system she then spotted her sempai attempting to climb out of the slippery pit in nothing but a wet suit. Something had gone down in there and she didn't like it.

"Un sempai, whath's go'in on ere? Ya cheati'n me! I'll, I mite haff to mak ouu rememfer how I gat yo into bed in tha firsh plash!" All the while the lieutenant had been stripping down to her bra and panties before letting out a warcry "Yuu'll be screamin my name latar!" and threw them both back into the arena.

"Now this is most marvelous! I must know, what is this all for? …And secondly, what do they put in the water here?" Kowaru questioned in earnest glee. Asuka happened to be the closest to him at the moment still trying to recover the feeling back in her limbs. Feeling spiteful, she wondered if she could make an ally in the new boy forgetting that he declared himself an Angel, and get him to resent all the attention everyone was sprinkling down on the pitiful Third.

"They're trying to find out how small the 'invincible' Shinji's prick is. The pervert is clearly tryi-"

"The Third's you say…this is good." Before he too stripped down and entered the arena, in the nude.

Asuka could only blink '…What DO they put in the water here?...nice ass…'

Either way, she figured she had enough fun for the day – it was time to get cleaned up now that she could move, before the thickened LCL dried and glued her to the floor. Entering a side passage to head to the showers she suddenly spied Shinji just aimlessly standing there in the hallway. 'I was beginning to wonder where he ran to jack off from the show.'

A sudden brain wave stopped her. Besides the two of them the passage was deserted, he hadn't noticed her yet and…well it was starting to piss her off but she needed to know – after all she still had to prove them all wrong now didn't she?

"Hey Shinji!"

The boy looked up to her. "Oh, hello. I'm a bit lost I think, could you perhaps-"

"Yeah yeah, it figures. You and Misato are hopeless when it comes to navigating this place. Come on."

0000000000

Around the corner a pair of red eyes watched in amusement. So far the Second could not tell the difference, not that she would really pay any attention to Shinji anyway. The diversion had not been really required after all, slipping away from the chaos at the bridge had been easy once Sohryu unexpectedly joined in the competition and Shinji didn't really care to watch his guardian make a further fool of herself; especially on for his behalf. Rei herself had no need to compete, she had his attentions…as well as a second hand account of his size. But the clone would serve another useful purpose – perhaps they wouldn't even have to return tomorrow and remain uninterrupted. Her younger sister was still out and about also, she could cover for her. Asuka no doubt would tote ShinII about, but it was questionable how long he would last. One day should be enough to cover for them, right?

Shinji was around the next door down the hall, calling up an elevator to get them to the surface. "Hey Rei, you ready then? Think we could go eat at tha-"

CLANG/SCREECH

His head turned slowly to face his new found enemy, the same 'Helevator' from this morning, iron bars parting in ominous beckoning. Rei watched as he gulped before dragging him in. "Shi-kun, you are being difficult." The car gave a grime 'ding' before once again free-falling into the depths of the earth.

Across the hall, another pair of red irises watched in pained silence. The younger sister would wait her time, but it was rather unfair as she was the first to gaze at him fully. She pouted, then steeled herself to see what else there was to entertain her until her turn came.

0000000000

"I've got to say…you ladies sure…put up a fight!" The grey haired teen/Angel panted.

By the end of it – Maya had Ritsuko blushing, he had Maya blushing, and Misato had him blushing. However seeing as his blush wasn't nearly as bashful as the others, it was more a tie between him and the Major, who suddenly gave a disarming smile herself.

"Well, as his guardian and admittingly his mother figure, it would be rather wrong for me to claim him for myself now wouldn't it?"

"And you are comfortable leaving this task to me, another boy correct?"

"Yep!" The woman gave him a good natured thumbs up.

"…yaoi…" The bridge bunny girls practically squealed with noses dripping of blood, before fainting away.

CREDITS

Kaji Clones - dogbertcarroll

Wakeup Grind - shinjithegoodsharer

"Freaky Clone Babies" – shinjithegoodsharer

Asuka-Bomb – shinjithegoodsharer

Asuka the 'Magnificent' – Futurama

Mud Wrestling – shinjithegoodsharer

"You'll be screaming my name later!" – NefCanuck

Shinji Clone Diversion – dogbertcarroll

Asuka Gets Some 'Shinji' - NefCanuk

A/N: Yes I feel very wrong and self violated by putting in the yaoi context in. But for the sake of humor I put it in and it has stuck, I'm almost afraid where it goes later though I think a solution for then has been found.

Aug 2010 edit** Well as of now on hold, I hope you all at least got several laughs out of this like some big continuous crack omake parody. So a big Thank You to all those out there still enjoying this fic...somehow. I mean really, the only way this could be dug up from so deep in the updated Eva fics list is from other's favorites list, there are better Eva humor fics out there - much better! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? Seriously, go check out 'Everyday' or even 'Shinji Justs Snaps and Totally Wails on Everything!' That's pure well-written crack gold.

Aside from that – (last?)Omake time!

OMAKE 15

Asuka: "Look, if you tell me where you two disappeared to, I'll trade ya a secret."

Shinji: "What, that Misato's a whore? You didn't know – the way she acts and stuff, I thought you'd figure it out on your own…"

Rei: "It is clear that Major Katsuragi is a walking disease infested pleasure flesh bag of-" Shinji decided the best place for his hand at the moment was over her none to subtle mouth.

Shigeru: "What are her rates?

Gendo: "She's already taken for tonight."

Misato: Gapping like a fish mortified. Everyone found out and were discussing so openly about it. She really was a failure wasn't she?

.

OMAKE 16

"I hate you – I HATE YOU! Stop laughing what is wrong with you? AAAHH"

Kaji awoke in cold sweat, gasping. Trying to return his breathing and heartbeat to normal after the horrible memory/nightmare. He knew he shouldn't have watched that '40 Year Virgin' scene before going to bed after all he had just gone through. Suddenly there was a shuffle at the side of his bed, and then the other. As his vision adjusted to the dark, they immediately went back to their wide terrified look.

He had escaped the nightmare yes. Only to wake up and find women still wanted to grace him with such torment. Bikini wax style.

.

OMAKE 17

"Please let go of me! No - stop please!" A frightened boy's voice sounded through the locker room, the girls looker room.

"Oh hold still now, what's wrong with you! Why the heck are you so bashful huh? Is it because...it's small perhaps?" The other, a red head girl meanwhile was trying to confirm her suspicions and that everyone had been making a big deal out of nothing. Well it was time to expose the fraud!

But, but the way the pitiful Third pilot was acting was doing something to her. It was so...kawaii! So bashful and he really was trying hard to avoid looking at her bra and panty covered bits! Oh and he had that smell too - like, like, she didn't know what it was but it was good. Why she just wanted to snuggle him up all of a sudden and and...

!POP!

She was oddly covered in the orange tell-tale signs of LCL...and no Shinji.

"My, my Asuka-san - you've got quite the grip!" There on a bench down from her sat the new pilot Nagisa. He was frowning disapprovingly as he stroked his own Shinji clone. "You've got to be gentler and make him last."

.

OMAKE 18

The girl gazed upon the teenage boy. Touji glared back at the girl.

"You are unsatisfactory." He hung his head and tried not to cry out in anguish.

"Come oooonnn! And just how is my bud in there gettin so much attention?

"Aida-sama is a master and we much appreciate his skill. You may leave once you have recovered your stamina, good night."

It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair! He had experienced paradise for a scant twelve minutes before he was shoved out the door and into the building's hallway system. How was he so 'unsatisfactory' while Kensuke had even tried to claw his way to freedom! Both had been 'captured' (standing in the 'zone' very well trying to be caught), been led to the room, teased, played with. And then all of a sudden they had found something in Kensuke's bag and all but gone wild and kicked him out. What the Hell!

Makes you wonder don't it? Plus I was sure some of you were wondering what happened to the other stooges – ooh that just might get me writing for this again...