The Hottest Warlord of the Empire

Chapter 1

The Andalite bandits spoil once again a project based on my so good idea. The warriors foul up. Iniss Two-Two-Six stutters something incoherent. The Council of Thirteen threats with reduction. I cut my subordinates' heads and get blood on my tail.

Oh yes, my name is Esplin Nine-Four-Double-Six, also known as Visser Three. I just described my past day. And they say the life of a visser is easy.

I walked swearing by the corridor of the Mother Ship towards my own Blade Ship. I hoped Jill, my mistress, would be there waiting me and not somewhere handling her own business. I wanted to vent my rage by another way than killing. As I was turning to the docking station, I heard someone shouting after me: "Visser! Visser! Wait!" It was one Human-Controller.

(What?) I snapped at him. He seemed to shrink inside his pitiable skin, but he managed to say: "Well, Visser… I just had one matter… in the first convention room there's one person, who'd like to see you."

I rolled my eyes –all of them- and followed the Controller to the first convention room of the Mother Ship. I wondered in the same, who there would be waiting me. I wished it would be none of the Council. I wasn't emotionally ready to speak with anyone of them in the moment. But probably it would be some other visser –and if it was the most high-ranked and absolutely the most dapsenish of us, or Visser One, I swore I'd jump out from the nearest ship window.

But there was an unknown female Human-Controller waiting in the convention room. She smiled at me sincerely and introduced herself: "Hello, Visser Three, sir. I'm Gargina Five-One-Three from the magazine Seyrane."

My eyes opened wide. Seyrane? A paper-made publication adopted from humans, a magazine, directed to female Controllers. Besides various and light articles they published sexy photographs of male Controllers in the magazine. The parallel magazine for male Controllers was called Seyrlin.

(What do you want from me?) I asked sharp from Gargina, who answered: "You see, Visser, the market of our mag has become lower last times and we'd need new, bold material about really known Yeerks… so would you please agree to pose on the cover and centerfold of our next issue?"

(To Seyrane? ME?) I shrieked, and I'm sure my expression was worth to see.

"Yes, yes! Did you know that the half of the male Controllers I know work out for get a body like yours! Thin, muscular, good-looking and a famous visser –what a perfect combination!" Gargina enthused.

I thought over for a moment. Yes, Gargina was right, when it came to my appearance. Posing in Seyrane… it could be fun but could hurt my visser credibility.

"We'll pay ten thousand Yeerk coins!"

I made my decision –ten thousand is ten thousand.

"Thank you, Visser", Gargina gasped. "Actually, we could leave to the studios of Seyrane now. They're on the Sstram planet, it takes just a day to get there. There is a Kandrona in the ship."

So I gave to my lieutenants the orders how to lead the war when I would be away, and left. To become photographed for Seyrane.

At the destination I was met by a pink creature with two pairs of legs and hands, two big and long-lashed eyes in the top of similar stalks to mine and a strongly red-painted mouth covering almost the whole face –a female Sstram-Controller.

"Welgome", she said twisting phonemes in Sstram way. "Wisser Dree. It is wonderful to ssee you here. I'm Ifrish Two-Four-Ssewen, da editor of Sseyrane."

Ifrish turned to the mixed crowd of Controllers behind her. "Well den. Take him to being prepared." One of the Controllers, a younger female Sstram, took my hand and said: "Gome on, ssir."

(Hey, wait a minute, to being prepared… what?) I wondered confusedly.

"Well, to being prepared for da photographing of goursse", Ifrish laughed. "Shower, brusshing, hoof sshining, oiling, make-up…"

(Oiling? Make-up?) I repeated stupidly.

"Yes, you look muz ssexier when your…" Ifrish stared my belly and arms, "mussgles glissten in oil. And make-up bringss your besst traitss out. With all da respect, Wisser Dree –no objegtionss." She turned and walked away. I felt so dizzy that I couldn't even resist, when two Controllers led me "to being prepared".

"Okay den! Sstand wid your bak sstraight! Lift your zin more! Look at da gamera! More possture! Remember you're da dirdly highesst-ranked wisser of da Empire! Look ssexy!"

I stood in the middle of the studio of Seyrane with my face painted and my body covered by oil. The oil had apparently another meaning: it pushed my hair so sleek and close-fitting that it left nothing for guess. Ifrish, who was standing in the edge of the studio, yelled instructions to me. "Pull your mussgles tight! Jusst sso!"

The cameras flashed. I changed my positions and expressions. In some way it was fun, at least I was the center of attention. I saw some Human-Controller enthusing to Gargina: "This is gonna be a smashing article! Visser Three Uncovered, oh…"

"Dapsen, he doesn't wear clothes anyway", Gargina rolled her eyes and the other Controller woman blushed. I noticed that the female Controllers hanging on the edges of the studio watched me in three different ways. Some stared lustfully almost drooling, the others looked appraising. And then there was also those who apparently couldn't see anything attractive in my Andalite body or just disliked me. Probably Visser One's supporters.

"It'ss time to take ssome dat kind of photoss, issn't it?" Ifrish grinned to Gargina and the other Human-Controller, and they nodded.

"All right. Wisser…" Ifrish said turning her look at me, "just dink of, ssay, your perssonal assistant. Jill, or what sshe's galled. Dink her lying on your bed… looking at you wid a sseduging look… and opening her bak legss to you…"

My thoughts wandered to Jill and the situation Ifrish was describing. I felt a certain part of my body filling up with blood…

"Go, Medrash, and give him a little help", Ifrish told one young female Human-Controller, who walked to me and slid her hand between my back legs. My tail was on her throat with a blink of an eye. What rights she had for touching my intimate parts?

"Don't, Wisser", Ifrish calmed me down. "We musst get ssome photoss of you, erm, wid a hard-on."

I moved my tail off and let the girl fondle me. In the name of Kandrona –she really could!

"Hard as an iron bar", she purred. "And good sized too…"

"Fine. Gome away from dere, Medrash. And Wisser", Ifrish gave instructions, "turn a bit… move your front legs… spread your bak legs a little…"

You might think it would have felt humiliating for me to stand there like that and show the size and hardness of my organ for a magazine published all over the Empire, but guess what? I just felt myself extremely masculine and sexual! I enjoyed the flashes and the looks licking my body and tried to look as cheeky as possible –watch out, females, here comes Visser Three!