Why I Could Never Write A Happy Ending, By: Shigure Sohma

Everything I've ever written, besides being filled with perverse smut, has always had something in common. Every story and novel I have ever thought up in my head and written down have always had something exactly the same in each one. It never fails that my works of fiction end in unhappiness and tears.

I've pondered this fact for some time now. It used to baffle me to no end that my books had to end this way. No matter what, I could never find an ending that would be pleasant that still made the story seem right. I couldn't fit one in when the time came to write it. So they've constantly finished with melancholy.

I thought about why this kept happening to me. And when I did, I found that I couldn't write well. It bothered me so much that it affected even my creative side. It also made me angry that I couldn't change my material and it made me think I was a mediocre novelist.

I was so perplexed with this situation that I even found myself asking my very unserious long-time friend, Aaya, to help me figure out what was wrong with me. When I questioned the other man on why I couldn't write a cheerful conclusion, he only inquired me with a question in return. I remember the flicker in his eyes as he said it.

"Are you unhappy, Shigure?"

That made me think on it even more. He didn't need to say anything else anyway. He'd already pointed me in the right direction. After that little chat it didn't take me long to realize what was making me write such things.

It was the simple fact that I was depressed with the way things were. I wanted so much more out of life than what it gave me. Problems I had in life had never ended happily or so easily. Life for any Sohma was hard and had a rocky start and finish. Things never seemed to go right for anyone in the family and that was why I just couldn't write anything but a sad ending for any of my novels.

So many troubles had arisen in my lifetime, which isn't very long. The one woman I loved didn't love me. She never could. The only thing I can do is sit by and watch her lust over other members of the Zodiac. And our family is slowly but surely falling apart and it's inevitable. There is love among some of the family members, but there is also much hate and deceit, most coming from Akito.

There's also another problem that unsettles me that really shouldn't. It's none of my business anyway. But it seems that Miss Honda hasn't yet figured out that Kyo and Yuki are completely infatuated with her. You'd think she'd get it by now that they've both fallen head over heels for the girl. I'd like to see the two of those boys in high spirits; they deserve it. But in the end, only one of them will win over Tohru's heart and it upsets me to know that it has to end that way. One with a broken heart and the other with the woman of his dreams. How fair is that? And who says whoever wins Tohru will be able to stay with her. Akito is still the head of the family.

But that's the curse of the Sohma's…

It's a bit hard for anyone else to understand, but I knew quite well that this inability to write out contentment would continue in my writing. Maybe at some point I'd be able to write a happy fairytale ending, but certainly not any time soon. I still had the rest of my life anyway. I could wait for happiness to find me. I could wait for the curse to be broken.