Dipping and whirling about the room in his first transformation, the open window beckoned. Harry was hap-hap-happy as he zoomed towards the sky and freedom, the "Harry, don't be a fool..." unheeded because it was so sunny and he was soar-soar-soaring, the wind flow-flow-flowing over wings beat-beat-beating so strongly while climb-climb-climbing almost to the sun...

Wasn't he just the finest fellow in all the world?

Some spots of yellow amidst a purple smudge caught his eye. Swoop-swoop-swooping, he landed lightly, war-war-warbling a greeting to the other snidgets foraging breakfast from a bounteous field of violet flowers. Wel-wel-welcoming him, they resumed peck-peck-pecking their meal; he was so hun-hun-hungry and the seeds were so tas-tas-tasty...

Wasn't he just the fullest fellow in all the world?

Replete, he looked around--and saw her. Oh! Wasn't she the sweet-sweet-sweetest thing he'd ever seen with her yellow curl-curl-curly feathers and spar-spar-sparkling red eyes? Oh! It was all so thrill-thrill-thrilling to snug-snug-snuggle all puff-puff-puffy and why was that other one star-star-staring at him...

Wasn't he just the grandest fellow in all the world?

He moved between his bird and the challenging male, failing to see the other menace approaching from behind, but the others weren't so blind. Why were they all Squaw-king-Squaw-king-Squaw-king? Come back my dar-dar-darling! Where are you go-go-going? What was that flying towards him? Oh no! Dan-ger-Dan-ger-Dan-ger! He must Es-cape-Es-cape-Es-cape, and...

Wasn't he just the stupidest fellow in all the world?

His feathers ruffled, Harry lost precious seconds trying to change back. Damn! To the castle, it was his only hope. He took off, the speck getting Clo-ser-Clo-ser-Clo-ser.

Wings beating furiously. Almost there.

Clo-ser-Clo-ser-Clo-ser.

There was no faster. Almost there.

Clo-ser-Clo-ser-Clo-ser.

The castle loomed. Almost--

Jerked in flight, wings flapping frantically, he shot forward with a flash of blinding pain as a tail feather, gripped in the beak of the raptor behind him, loosed. Oh-no-no-no! He was now too close to the castle and, desperately manoeuvring, he tilted his wings and soared upwards, riding the strong thermal current of air cushioning the walls a scant beak away.

A panicked screech and a sudden silence told him his pursuer wasn't so lucky.

Wings cupping, he tried to turn. Caught in the updraft, he hadn't the strength to break free. Up and up he rose, his wings spread for balance, the stone almost brushing the tips of his claws. The roof loomed Clo-ser-Clo-ser-Clo-ser with every passing second. Dan-ger-Dan-ger-Dan-ger! He closed his eyes, refusing to acknowledge the fast-approaching overhang.

Whoo-whoo-whooshing! The world spun as he tum-tum-tumbled end over end through an open tower window into a cluttered room before crash-crash-crashing into something solid, yet yielding and...

Wasn't he just the luckiest fellow in all the world?

Heaven was soft and dark and smelled of lemon. And moved. Up and down and sideways. Harry opened his eyes, catching a glimpse of stone through a small chink. He knew now where he was--and it wasn't heaven--but it was close enough.

A foot thudded against a heavy wooden door. With protesting hinges, the door opened, followed by a gravelly voice impatiently growling, "Albus. To what do I owe this--pleasure?"

The hand over his head lifted. Harry war-war-warbled with joy; he was ho-ho-home.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "I believe--this--belongs to you."

The harsh mouth twitched. "Possibly. However did my over-grown canary come to be in your possession?"

"Hawk almost got him; he tumbled into my office."

"Ah, that explains the missing tail feather."

"Hmmm. I suppose it does; he can't fly very well right now. Hops well, though." Dumbledore carefully transferred Harry to Severus' hand and sauntered out. As Severus closed the door, they heard an explosive guffaw out in the hallway beyond.

"War-war-warble!"

"Probably imagining what part of your anatomy will go missing. I confess to some curiosity myself."

"War-war-warble?"

Chuckling, Severus placed him on the seat of a nearby chair. "All right, bird-brain, you can change back now."

Harry tried--oh! how he tried, but after a few minutes of it, gave up. Minerva had warned him this might happen the first few times.

"War-war-warble!"

"Well, I suppose there's no helping it." He transferred Harry to his shoulder and strode off to his study.

When he started sliding on the smooth fabric of Severus' robes, Harry extended his wings and hopped-flew to Severus' head. Grabbing some strands tightly, he rode the rest of the trip trying not to fall off.

Snorting, Severus sat at his desk and resumed grading papers, ignoring his befeathered spouse who soon began pick-pick-picking and nib-nib-nibbling while sing-sing-singing his hap-hap-happy war-war-warble at being ho-ho-home. Finally in exasperation, Severus threw the quill onto the desk, spattering red ink everywhere. "Harry, if you can't control yourself, I suggest you find somewhere else to nest."

"Eep?" Harry spread his wings, preparing to hop down and-- What the...? Something inside was mov-mov-moving down there, near his broken tail. Oh! No-no-no! Not here, not now. Closing his eyes, he squeezed... noth-noth-nothing.

PLOP!

Oh! Shit! What in inopportune moment to discover he had no sphincter.

PLOP!

Severus sputtered-- Plop-plop-plop! --then blew a resigned sigh. "I doubt even you, Mr Potter, could do that on command." An elegant finger probed around Harry's missing tail feather. Pulling some of the muck out his hair, Severus examined it and started laughing. "The Shitsumochi I planted last spring. I might've known." Harry couldn't see what Severus was doing, but the now clean finger soon reappeared in blatant invitation.

"Considering I'd rather have this on your head than mine..."

Harry stepped onto the proffered perch, his head hanging in dejection. Severus lowered him until they were eye to eye.

Wasn't he just the sorriest fellow in all the world?

"Perhaps I spoke too harshly..."

Harry began trill-trill-trilling when Severus' fingertip gent-gent-gently stroked his curl-curl-curly chest and he couldn't help laugh-laugh-laughing when he noticed that there was a drib-drib-dribble of--seeds--down the bridge of Severus' nose.

Severus went cross-eyed and then swiped at the mess. "You may laugh; however, raw Shitsumochi seed is poisonous to humans. You'll have to remain in that form until all you've consumed--passes."

"Eep?" How long had he stayed there feast-feast-feasting on the tasty seeds? And flirt-flirt-flirting with... with... "Eep!" ...a bird!

Severus cocked a brow, his mouth working against a smile. "I sense an amusing tale in there somewhere, hmmm?"

"War-war-warble?"

"Or some kind of tail. No matter, I'll torture it out of you later." Harry's squawk earned him a wicked chuckle. "In the meantime--" Severus snorted, transferring him to his shoulder where he'd placed a twice-folded handkerchief over his robes "--stay here. It may take a while."

Harry sheepishly settled onto his 'nappy'. Several plops later, he couldn't decide if this was more or less humilating than the time he'd vomited all over Severus last year at the head table.

"And, Harry?"

"War-war-warble?"

"Do hop down should you feel the form waver--before it does."

"War-war-warble!"

Severus sighed, idly moving his hair out of Harry's beak. "Stop that. I'm trying to work."

Harry settled back down, determined to behave. Time passed. He studied the room, trying to find a distraction, but it was so bor-bor-boring just per-per-perching and Severus' hair had shin-shin-shiny silver strands and it was so temp-temp-tempting he couldn't resist nib-nib-nibbling just a few...

Wasn't he just the weakest fellow in all the world?

"Mr Potter! Perhaps you would prefer spending the night in the Quidditch chest?"

Oh. He snapped his beak closed and looked away. He would not fail again. Time passed. The steady scratch-scratch-scratching of Severus' quill made him sleep-sleep-sleepy so he started sing-sing-singing, knowing he musn't nib-nib-nibble, but if he could only reach it, there was that lov-lov-lovely earring...

And wasn't he just the naughtiest fellow in all the world?

Fi-Fi-Finis