Author's Note: Just had to write this.

Summary: Those who are still around reflect on what they did from where they are now. Starting off, Rebecca feels like she needs to be somewhere.

Rating: T

Regret

Chapter One: Belonging

By: Mazzie May

Rebecca Chambers didn't deserve to make it. She was the least experienced, it'd been her first mission. She should've been ravaged by dogs, not Kevin. She should've been pecked to death, not Forrest. She should've been poisoned, not Richard. She should've been shot, not Enrico. She should've been infected and put down, not Edward…

She shuddered under her sheets. Edward… She'd watched him become infected, watched him "die", watched him eat another corpse, watched a bullet – her bullet – smack into his skull, his head caving in the front and exploding out the back. But instead of falling backwards, a bump from the train knocked him forward, onto her, a gray liquid she could only assume to have once been his brain dribbled from the new opening in his head, mixed with blood and dark puss and some other chunks she couldn't, wouldn't, identify. She just sat there like that, pressed up against the door, her knees have drawn up, the thing that was once Edward swaying slightly with the train. The man who'd been the nicest to her at the station, who looked out for her and helped with her paper work, and even understood some of her biological and mathematical rants, the man she'd even gotten a small crush on was bleeding out on top of her. His face was up against her arm, and she could feel a slick rubber thing touching it. An eye.

She half sobbed, half retched making her choke for air. She didn't deserve to live. It wasn't fair that such wonderful, strong, skilled people didn't make it, and weak pathetic little her did. It wasn't fair.

Most people thought that since they did nearly in her place, she should take the life they help her keep and do something wonderful with it.

Rebecca lives in Barry Burton's attic, and hardly leaves her bed. She showers every few weeks and Kathy comes in and changes her bedding and she eats about once every four days. She hopes she'll die and that since she didn't do anything with the life they gave her, she'd go straight to hell.

Where she belongs.

Author's Note: Okay, so I know I'm almost done with "Paranoia" but this just it me and I had to get it all down before I died. I'm not doing everyone, but I am doing a lot.

R&R Please!