Warnings: Dark. What more can I say…
Category: Angst, drama
Comments: This is not the first time I've posted this, but it was originally put up almost a year ago on SGAHC list (before we even had 400 members, if I recall correctly). I was assured by my betas that there is an audience out there for it – and I still can't believe I forgot to post the silly thing… So, here it is. I am taking the opportunity to tweak it a bit, given some comments I had on the original – nothing major plotwise, just for logic's sake. And that means it might be a few parts. It's first season, BTW, so Ford is his usual bouncy self! For anyone's interest, it was written a couple stories before Persistence.
Thanks to Purpleyin who posted the original on SG Lonelyship back in March 05.
Like I said to my amazing betas Nebbyjen and Kodiak Bear Country – don't know where this comes from. I have a very sunny personality, normally. Then something like this shows up in my brain and won't leave till it's written down.
Chapter 1He drifted along behind Elizabeth and Sora, moving quietly from shadow to shadow, as if in a dream. Whatever lights he'd once activated simply with his presence remained dark - damaged, or in response to his need for stealth, he didn't know.
It was Atlantis and yet it wasn't - the city had never seemed so dank, smelled so foul. Funk. It was the funk that developed when ocean invaded and left behind small things that died.
Except Atlantis hadn't flooded.
Well, his Atlantis hadn't, anyway.
He reached into his vest pocket and touched the hard, roughly rectangular object that he'd found on his mapping trip. It wasn't Ancient technology, it hadn't jumped to life the moment he touched it, and that alone had made him curious enough to experiment with it. He hadn't even noticed the large, almost rock-like lump in the corner; until he'd realized the scene the mirror-smooth surface showed was not simply a reflection of where he stood.
And he didn't appear in it at all.
Intrigued, he'd reached out, and touched it. Not, perhaps, his best idea. Because where he ended up bore only a faint resemblance to where he left.
And here he was, now, after making his way up to slightly less dank surroundings...he'd recognized Elizabeth's tread and followed the sound, but he still wasn't certain what had made him shadow her, instead of hailing her. Self-preservation, evidently. His instincts were still there, if apparently a bit slow on the uptake. Sora had been with her. Escorting her.
They stopped outside one of the rooms that had once served as a storage area. Sora stood outside as Elizabeth knocked softly. "Rodney?"
There was an answering mumble, and she let herself in. Sora took up a position outside, standing at ease, looking like every guard on every door he'd ever seen.
Time passed. He stayed still, watching, and trying to think - if McKay was inside, and Elizabeth was being escorted by Sora, then he had, indeed, fallen through the looking glass and landed in hell.
There was no other guard on McKay's door, and that bothered him, made him wonder if it was a dream after all – a captive McKay would need guarding, right? Even if it was a fever dream, though, and he'd wake up in the infirmary at Atlantis, something was going on here that had a very bad feel to it. And it left him with only one option - dream or not, don't get caught.
There were footsteps behind him and to his right, and he wedged himself deeper in the alcove as Koyla strode past. He stopped outside. Sora nodded, knocked on the door.
"Dr. Weir," she said.
The door opened again and Elizabeth stepped out.
"Acastus." she said, unsurprised. In fact, all of this had a very routine feel to it, Sheppard noticed, and the gut feeling he had grew worse.
"Elizabeth."
"I'd like a bit more time tonight, if I may. It's been rough today," She stood in profile, the light catching her, and though gaunt there was something about her.
"Elizabeth…"
"And I was wondering if you could give him some time without the drugs," she continued. "They make it hard for him to think. It slows the work."
"That's not why you're asking."
"No. It's affecting him mentally. I…fear for his sanity, if this keeps up."
"That decision isn't mine to make, my dear." Koyla stepped forward, cupped her chin, raised it. She didn't move, didn't resist.
"Acastus, he's no threat - not any more…please. He could still live a long life…"
"We both know that's not in the cards for the good doctor, Elizabeth."
She stood firm, holding his gaze, and he was the one to drop his eyes.
"I will ask Cowan if we can reduce the drugs," he said finally. "I wouldn't hope too much."
She smiled slightly at him. "Thank you, Acastus."
"And I will expect you in an hour. Sora, please make certain Dr. Weir joins me in my quarters."
Elizabeth stepped back and disappeared into the room. Koyla passed the alcove again, but he was deep in thought.
OoO
Sheppard slid quietly down and got comfortable. An hour. His instinct was to disable Sora and rescue Elizabeth and McKay, but he knew he had to get his bearings. It was as if his worst nightmare had come true, and suddenly he realized what was wrong with the city - it had broken apart, when the wave hit. And that meant McKay hadn't gotten the shield up. Though he knew he had.
The control centre and surrounding areas were core to the city, though, and evidently the Ancients had built well - true to their double and triple redundancy they had engineered it to take the worst the planet could dish out. The piers had broken off, likely the internal sensors were so much metal now, but the Stargate and its power source had survived.
And what of Elizabeth and McKay? He peered around the corner again. Sora still stood there. The reference to drugs had made his blood run cold. Given McKay's abilities, evidently Cowan felt it necessary to keep him under some sort of chemical control - but Elizabeth had made reference to his sanity. How long had this been going on?
And where, exactly, was he?
He sat, thoughts chasing in circles. The mirror-like block of stone, the artifact, the bright, clean room; then the mirror-like block of stone, and the mildew factory. Elizabeth and Sora, and the Genaii.
The truth hit him suddenly, like a physical blow. He couldn't breath for a fraction of a second.
"They won," he breathed, involuntarily.
The words were soft, but he heard footsteps approaching. Sora? He flattened into the alcove again but was saved by a quiet voice.
"Sora, I'm ready to go."
The footsteps paused, then turned. He listened until they had faded, then hazarded a glance out again.
Clear.
He ran silently to the door Sora had been guarding and willed the light above it out, then touched the lock and opened it, slipping inside.
The room smelled musty, as if it hadn't been aired in a while. One side of it sat in the isolated glow of small lamps that illuminated portions of what looked like - and probably was - a bomb. A small, locked, lead vault was in one corner.
The other side was in blackness. Something rustled and Sheppard realized they had probably set up living quarters in the lab. The lack of guards on McKay still bothered him. Surely he wasn't being drugged to that point?
He felt his way carefully along the wall, around a chair covered with clothing, then his knee met something hard and metallic, and he swore softly.
"Who is it?" The voice was unmistakable, though there was something about it that sounded confused, beaten.
Sheppard paused, trying to decide what to do, but the choice was made for him when a dim light came on, next to a bed.
"Greya, if it's you, I've told you, it's not gonna happen." McKay's face was faintly lit. Used to the dark, Sheppard had no problem seeing the expression of disdain. But there was something else about him…
"It's me," he said finally. "It's Sheppard."
McKay's face closed down. "Koyla, I know you've been trying to break me. But this won't work."
"McKay! It's me." He moved farther forward into the circle of light, and the expression on McKay's face crumpled.
"Oh, crap, oh, crap…I've lost it, I've finally lost it." He reached to turn off the light, as if to make the apparition go away, and Sheppard stepped forward again, close enough to touch. McKay froze.
"You're dead"
"I'm here."
"I saw you die. I helped you die."
"McKay, I'm standing right here."
There was something – off. Humans have a capacity to process shapes and images, almost subconsciously, and to instantly know if something is amiss. Pilots have that ability honed, and it had taken Sheppard a matter of seconds to realize that there was something missing from the McKay-shape in front of him. But with that ability was the companion ability to know if that difference was a threat or not – and in this case, it wasn't. He dismissed the lack of bulk under the bedclothes where legs would be, focusing instead on his friend who was braced in the corner, convinced he was losing his mind.
"Koyla's men grabbed you. They brought you up to the control room, they shot you twice in the stomach, it would have taken you hours to die if I hadn't smothered you."
The words were flat, emotionless, and it told Sheppard more than the simple recitation of facts. McKay was expressive at the worst of times; this dead fear was something that made his gut knot.
After one early mission, during an evening spent testing the first product of a contraption he wasn't supposed to know about - at least officially - the conversation had turned to the worst way to die.
Ford, Zelenka, Sheppard and a scientist whose name Sheppard couldn't remember had found a quiet spot to sample it. Well, Sheppard had found it – it was a lab, off the beaten path. The occupant had protested, but they'd just moved in. McKay hadn't participated, working away on some obscure task, but he hadn't left, either. It was, after all, his lab.
As the level in the bottle dropped, Zelenka and the other scientist had too. McKay had joined them finally, grudgingly, sipping at the rotgut and making unkind comparisons to stuff he'd made in university. Finally, though, he'd slouched in his chair, seemingly dozing, as Sheppard and Ford winnowed through various deaths their muddled brains could recall - freezing, burning, decapitation, and several others, arriving at being shot in the stomach. It was the one thing they agreed on, and with the seriousness of a good buzz late at night, the two of them made a pact, with great solemnity, that if they were ever in that position, with no hope – McKay had roused to make that comment, no hope - they'd each 'take care of things' for the other.
It seemed McKay had been in on the deal after all, if unofficially. His throat tight, he stared at the physicist.
It wasn't bad enough McKay had had to kill his friend, here he was now, working with the Genii under duress. He'd been mutilated, drugged. And he knew that his captors intended to kill him once his usefulness was over. How much of the McKay he knew would be left after enduring that?
He sat on the edge of the bed, holding the terrified gaze with steady eyes.
"I'm John Sheppard, " he said quietly. "I don't know if I'm the one that belongs here - I was hoping you could tell me - but I'm here now..." and he blinked hard. His eyes were wet, what was that about? "Let me help you."
Life stirred in McKay's eyes. Hope? Curiosity? Sheppard reached out and pulled McKay to him, holding him tightly. "You really did it," he whispered. "Thank you."
The man resisted at first, and for a moment Sheppard thought McKay had gone beyond help, but he didn't let go, just held him and rubbed the bowed shoulders. Slowly McKay relaxed into the embrace, finally raising his arms and returning it. And it took a moment to realize they were both crying, and a fraction of a second to know neither cared.
OoO
''So.''
"So. It looked like a big gray rock," McKay confirmed his description, and his voice, though quiet, was steady. "It's a quantum mirror - it lets you move between all the possible alternate universes, the ones created when you make decisions. Our John Sheppard is dead. You're right, you don't belong in this world.''
He settled a bit. ''Not that I'm sorry to see you,'' he added. ''But I guess you figured that out.''
Sheppard smiled. ''I got that." He shifted around, ending up shoulder to shoulder with McKay, legs crossed under him.
"You know how I came here, but you have to understand that my Atlantis is intact and the Genaii were beaten back. And…" he hesitated.
"Your Rodney's not a double amputee," It was said with surprisingly little self-pity. In fact, it seemed that the ability to converse with his friend again had brought back much of McKay's vitality. "It's all part of the story, Major."
''The wave hit the city.''
He felt, more than saw, the answering nod. ''It was after you...died.'' A pause, and the physicist continued.
''Elizabeth and I weren't feeling co-operative. Koyla threatened us, but we didn't feel we had much left to lose.''
''What happened after?''
"There was a lot of confusion, what with the city breaking up and all, but the gate kept power. I managed to dial up and get a message through. You would have been proud of them, John. They mounted an attack on just a few minutes notice.''
''What went wrong?''
''They were outmanned,'' he said simply. ''Koyla had three companies. I called a retreat to the mainland.'' He sighed, coughed roughly. Sheppard reached over and retrieved the water glass for him.
''Elizabeth and I were making for a jumper. Koyla had a P90 he'd taken off someone. He was very careful to shoot only at my legs, but I don't think he realized how powerful it was. Elizabeth told me I asked her to let me bleed out, let me die, but Koyla had other ideas.''
His tone was level, matter-of-fact, and Sheppard closed his eyes a moment. He opened them again. The image was too much to comprehend.
''What about Elizabeth?''
''I didn't see her till their medics were sure I was going to live. Kolya claimed her. She helps me with - stuff, but he keeps her pretty much under his control.''
''I heard him mention drugs.''
McKay just nodded. "They used injectables for a while, until I was dependent, then switched to pills. I stopped for a bit but…it didn't work. I usually manage to fake it, only take half, just enough to keep the withdrawal from incapacitating me."
Sheppard let his head drop back against the wall. "I am so sorry all this happened," he said.
"Hey - the good guys won somewhere." McKay's grin was crooked, but it was a grin. It faded.
"There's something else."
"What? It gets worse?"
''They're planning to detonate the bomb on the mainland - a test shot that will get rid of the last of the Athosians and our people. It's something they didn't want me to know, but Elizabeth overheard Kolya talking...one night.'' He glanced down, at the place his legs used to be. "It's going to be tomorrow. Day after at the latest."
Sheppard smiled at him. ''And you have a plan...''
McKay smiled back, and it was like his old self was reappearing, after being beaten down.
''Well, of course I have a plan.''
Something dark sat in his eyes, but Sheppard didn't pursue it then. Later, he wished he had.
Chapter 2She stood in front of the mirror and smoothed her shirt down. Nothing. Turning sideways, she did the same, eyeing her profile critically.
Still nothing.
She nodded to herself. She was, perhaps, seven weeks along. And she knew who the father was. Though she hadn't told him yet. The time hadn't been...right.
The quarters had been her own, until the Genii. Now she shared them with Kolya - or perhaps he shared them with her. Sora was outside, as always. She never set foot inside. Her task was to guard Elizabeth Weir, and it was a task she took to heart.
Kolya was off somewhere, tending to the business of the occupying force. He would return soon. This evening was like any other. He'd be courtly, secure in his superiority. They'd eat, and then have a game of chess - which principals he'd grasped almost instantly - or discuss the difference in ideals. In a civilized manner.
She had adapted to the situation, chiefly for Rodney's sake. Her resistance, early in their imprisonment, had resulted in their medics withholding medication from the injured man. She couldn't have him in pain for something she did.
It was hard, though. She looked around the city and remembered, remembered...
Shaking her head, she looked again at her profile. She'd have to start wearing looser clothes. It didn't seem to matter to Kolya what she wore, she was a conquest and he was smug in his mastery. But it did present a problem. He used contraception, perhaps fearful of siring a child on an inferior human. She would start to show, and logic would tell him whose it was.
Would he be pleased, or irate, to know she was carrying Rodney's child?
It had started soon after his release from the infirmary, before the drugs started making him so ill. It was a way of proving to him he was still a man, still strong, and for both of them to have a bit of comfort. It had grown through that and now, she knew, was real love. She lived to see him, touch him. They no longer made love, he was always so weak, but lying in his arms was her world now, her truth. They talked of the time before, of John, of the team and the rest, and it was with regret, not the tearing sorrow, not any more.
She remembered that day so clearly, but with distance - it was like she was watching a particularly tragic movie. Seeing them crouched by Sheppard, hearing his gasps of agony. Rodney's face as he placed his hand, carefully, firmly, over Sheppard's mouth, stopping his nose with the side of his hand. It had taken little time, and there was something like gratitude in Sheppard's eyes…
She shuddered, checked the time. Kolya would be back soon. They'd eat, and talk. She'd already had her time with Rodney, tonight, managed to wheedle an extra hour. She would be raped again. He would fall asleep.
She would lie awake, and hold her belly, and think of Rodney' child.
Maybe she'd tell him tomorrow. In their world, there was never really going to be a good time.
If the bomb was detonated, it might not end up mattering.
OoO
"Hey."
Sheppard snorted.
"Hey, sleeping beauty." Something hit his shoulder and he was awake instantly.
Rodney was at the table, writing. He'd tossed a balled up sock. That's what had hit him.
He sat up, looked at it, flipped it aside.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to fall asleep."
Rodney grinned. "Always envied you for that. You could sleep anywhere."
Sheppard stretched. "A knack," he said modestly. "What now?"
"You take this back through the mirror." Rodney put the book on the tray of his chair, and wheeled over. "This is everything you need to know. Brief history, layouts, and the plan. The Genii left only a small contingent here - I kept on about the dangers of radioactivity and Kolya finally sent most of the men back. There's only about forty. I figure…" he opened the front and pointed at a neatly drawn map "that we should be able to take them. Two jumpers land on the outskirts and sneak up. One comes in the front door. What'dya think?"
Sheppard flipped the book open, scanning the pages.
"And you need…"
"You, Ford, Teyla and a radio. Highest power possible."
"No more troops?"
Rodney shook his head. "I wasn't lying about the radiation. Kolya - and Elizabeth's - quarters are about as far away as they can get, and when she's here everything's in the vault, but still there's potential for this to go really badly wrong. And if it does I have a backup plan."
Sheppard looked at him expectantly.
"Let's hope it doesn't get to that," McKay said, heading back to the table. "You have a few hours till light. Get through the mirror - I've set the controller, it should be your reality. If it isn't, key up a couple and down a couple. You'll find it. You'll have an affinity for it, having come through from it."
He nodded absently, examining the notes.
"Any time you're ready..." McKay encouraged.
"Think my McKay could find this place again? Without me?"
"Your McKay. How paternal." Sheppard glanced up, and he nodded, huffing.
"Naturally. He is, after all, me. Essentially. Though whatever missions he's been on since will naturally have altered his experiences...that's an interesting idea, really, if you could somehow do a comparison..." he stopped. "What?"
Sheppard was grinning widely. "That's more like you," he said, affectionately.
"Puhleese. Of course it's like me, it is me." He looked pointedly at his watch. "Leaving now would be a really good idea..."
Sheppard closed the book. "Set this controller for here," he passed it back after committing the settings to memory. "I'm staying."
"What?" McKay rolled his chair over and stared up in disbelief. "You're nuts."
"Your intel is, at best, months old. I plan to sneak around and update it."
McKay seemed about to argue, but the logic made him pause.
"Ok," he said grudgingly. "But watch it. Don't want to have to save your life again. I'm out of practice."
He made a modification and handed it back. Sheppard took it and the book, but paused.
"What about Elizabeth?"
"She's safer where she is for now. Believe me. Whatever else you can say, Kolya takes good care of his…possessions." The bitterness made him glance up, but McKay had turned away, and he let it drop.
OoO
Sora stood guard impassively. The night guard would relieve her in a few moments, but in the meantime she hoped they'd keep talking, for just a bit longer.
Kolya was her mentor, her hero. She supposed she had a crush on him. She was angry with Elizabeth; the woman didn't seem to appreciate what she had with him. Weir said the right things, did the right things, but it didn't reach her inside, she had no feelings for her superior officer.
And it hurt to stand outside and hear the noises from within.
When her relief appeared she nodded, trading off the responsibility, and headed back to McKay's quarters. She could have sworn she'd heard something, seen the shadow of someone waiting nearby. And that hallway was considered off limits. She had been on the verge of investigating then, but Elizabeth had called her back.
It was hours later, and she knew there were no odds of anyone being there, but her curiosity wouldn't let her sleep until she'd investigated.
OoO
Sheppard slipped out the door, paused. Even if he hadn't known it already, he would have felt that he was in the wrong Atlantis. There were breezes from odd places. The whole place struck him as a derelict ship, drifting on the ocean.
He kept to the shadows, moving off.
OoO
Sora caught sight of the movement, and froze. It was a man, trying to remain unseen, slipping through the darkness. She followed, as he went down, farther into the depths of the city than she'd ever been. She couldn't see his face, but something about him seemed oddly familiar.
She stopped when he did, and watched as he slipped into a room.
OoO
He scouted the room. There had to be a controller on this side, too, Rodney insisted. It wasn't where the other had been, and he had almost given up when he moved aside a rotten case - and there it was. Covered in muck and mildew, it nonetheless lit up when he touched the button. He cleaned it off and adjusted the settings, then set his original one top of the notebook and tied the two together.
The mirror was blank, but when Sheppard pointed his grubby controller at it and powered it, it sprang to life like a television set. 'An affinity' McKay had said. Meaning what…it would feel right?
He stared at the image, and, surprisingly, something told him it wasn't, in fact, right. Up a couple, down a couple. He touched the indicators, and the 'screen' shifted and blurred. He stared into room after room. But then he hit one. And this one was it.
It was almost as if he'd known he'd be dumped in an alternate universe, he mused. No trail of breadcrumbs, something better. He squinted. He'd had a PDA with him, updating the on-line blueprint comparisons they were working to complete. He'd put the PDA down on the table when he picked up the controller. And there it was. Bingo. All McKay had to do was check the updates with his userID against the most recent updates.
He tossed the two items at the face of the mirror, and with a flash it was flipped into the other universe. Just as the image faded, he thought he caught sight of someone at the other door.
Mission accomplished. He regarded the controller, thinking. Then he concealed it behind the same rotting case. It would be found with a search, but a casual glance would reveal nothing. Instincts honed from experience in both galaxies told him it would probably be best to leave the key near the door.
He paused before leaving, listened hard. Hearing nothing, he slid the door open.
The Genii pounced.
Chapter 3Kolya was self-contained, Sheppard had to give him that. He'd shown little surprise when the guards had dragged him in, merely raising his eyebrows. He'd waved them to dump him in the chair that sat in front of his desk.
"This is something unexpected." he greeted. "I thought your friend killed you months ago."
"Yeah, it was a bit awkward when I stopped by to say hello. He kept apologizing."
"I'm certain he wasn't on his knees while doing it."
Sheppard kept his face steady, neutral. "He did mention he'd been thinking of losing weight."
Kolya blinked at that, and Sheppard felt a small glow of satisfaction. It died when Kolya nodded at his guards, and the first blow fell. Then someone dragged him to his feet and the beating began in earnest.
OoO
It had started out as such a good idea.
McKay moaned, bent over, held his stomach for a moment until the nausea passed. Something tickled his nose, and he dragged the back of his hand across it, stared at the smear of blood. There were already blisters on his arms, he'd covered that by wearing long sleeves, but his hair - never thick at the best of times - was thinning even more.
He had vowed to Elizabeth, those terrible minutes they'd huddled together after he'd killed his best friend, that the Genii wouldn't get anything from him. Then the wave had come. The attack had been mounted by the group from offworld. And they'd failed.
The rest had managed to flee to the mainland. At first he'd rebelled, even in their crude hospital - every declined med, pulled IV was met with threats. Still, he'd persisted, until they'd brought Elizabeth to visit - and when she left Cowen had made it clear her life depended on his co-operation.
So he worked for them, slowly, unwillingly, in a drugged fog much of the time - but it was all part of his plan. It got him access to all sorts of interesting material. Most of it radioactive.
But it was so poor in quality. It took ages to accumulate the exposure he needed to start to die.
He loved Elizabeth, and knew that love was returned, but that very bond kept her here. She wouldn't leave him, no matter what her life had become. Not as long as he was alive.
The deadline was approaching. And when the bomb was a dud, he knew they'd take it out on her, not him.
They'd still need him.
Radiation was taking too long. He hoped the other McKay read between the lines of the letter he'd sent. If this 'Hail Mary' didn't work, he had to have a backup.
He sighed.
For just a few hours he'd dreamed of freedom, escape. Even legless, it would have been worth it - but he'd managed to forget the time bomb inside him, the radiation sickness that was slowly killing him, from the inside out.
All he could hope to do now was to go out with a bang.
OoO
Sheppard stared at the bug as it crawled across the floor. It wasn't an ant, precisely, but it moved with the same single-minded determination as one, trudging forward with some destination on its ant-mind.
He knew he couldn't stand yet. They'd been thorough, efficient, everything the Genii were known for. At some signal from Kolya, though, they'd stopped and let him drop to the ground, which was where he'd made his buggy acquaintance.
Ribs. For certain, at least two, cracked, maybe broken. Bruises. Kidneys were aching. Several good hits to his face made it pretty certain he wouldn't be getting his photo taken in the near future.
A boot landed on the ant, and he felt a moment of irrational anger.
"Lock him up. Give him something more to think about. I don't know where he came from, but right now I don't care. We know where he was found, check the room and report," A pause. "We have to get the test firing planned - if he's still alive when we're done, I'll do a proper interrogation."
OoO
Farrar had poked his head in the room, empty - except for Sheppard's PDA. He tapped his earpiece. "Lieutenant Ford? I have something."
A floor above, Ford tapped back in reply, beckoned the rest of the squad. Sheppard had been missing, now, for almost twelve hours. Had he not been off duty, it would have been much less, but no one had noticed until Teyla had asked Control where he was, having missed him at a training session.
Weir had hit the panic button. McKay had the idea to check if any of the blueprints had been updated, and by whom. It brought them to an area that had been briefly reconnoitered, but not explored.
They'd split up - McKay showed the mapping ended in another room but there had been nothing there - and now the rest of the squad doubletimed it to Farrar's position,
Ford checked the PDA with a practiced eye. It had been turned off some eleven hours and forty two minutes earlier. He reported the discovery to Weir, as his men searched. It wasn't a large room, had some interesting rock samples in it, including a huge one in the corner that had one side polished to mirror smoothness.
But no Sheppard. He directed his men to continue on the level, followed them out, then remembered the PDA. He turned, and something flashed.
Warily, he stepped back in.
A black notebook lay on the floor, with something rectangular tied to it.
"What the heck?"