Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z or any of its characters no matter how much I'd like to.
A/N: This story continues on after "Saiyans and the Internet don't mix." You may wish to read that first to explain the appearance of long-dead characters.
Saiyans and housework don't mix
Part 1 – You're going WHERE! WITHOUT US!
Once again, it was a peaceful morning on Mt. Paozu. The entire Son family congregated around the kitchen table, surrounded by the sound of four starving Saiyajin inhaling their breakfast after a good night's sleep. Chichi twitched as random particles and blobs of food littered the kitchen.
"That's it!" She roared. Four sets of eyes focussed on her immediately, the sound of breakfast evaporating into the wind. Goku, Gohan, Goten and Raditz stared tensely, yet with equal innocent expressions at the seething human. Chichi suddenly calmed down, smiling sweetly at the four. Raditz glanced toward his younger brother hesitantly, who shook his head. The large warrior focussed back on the woman.
"Hurry up and finish your breakfast. We're going over to Bulma's as soon as you're finished." Chichi nodded placidly, digging back into her own breakfast. Goku looked rather confused as the outburst did not result in the performance of frying pans. He glanced around the room for a moment, since he'd been interrupted, something felt out of place. He just couldn't figure it out right now.
"Oh well..." He muttered out loud, resuming his normal breakfast routine.
A little while later …
Goten sat, staring out of the back windscreen. It so happened that Chichi had decided they were going to take the car to get to Capsule Corporation. Why she'd chosen this method of transport was beyond any of the Saiyan's comprehension, however none were brave enough to stand up to Chichi while she was in this delicate mood.
They were currently speeding along the highway, clocking in at around eighty miles per hour, steadily increasing. Goku and Goten were currently sitting with their head and torso out of the window, tongues and hair flapping in the breeze. Gohan's eyes became wide as a rather large white billboard advertising a new shopping centre appeared on the horizon, growing larger by the second.
"Dad, look out!" Gohan yelped
"Hmm?" Goku turned in his seat to look at his eldest son through the window. Gohan squints his eyes shut in horror. A huge crack of wood and the screech of twisting metal ripped through the air as Goku's head and shoulders cleanly ripped straight through the sign.
Raditz looked out of the back window, sweatdropping as the sign started to disappear behind them, bearing a large Kakarotto- shaped silhouette in place of the shopping centre's mascot. He then turned to Gohan slowly.
"I think the advertisement was dealt the worst part of that blow." He said.
Gohan peered up at the larger saiyan and then glanced out of the back window to the sign. He looked back at his father, who hadn't noticed what had happened.
"I see what you mean…"
Goten grinned, his tongue still sticking out as they zoomed along. A large saliva trail had formed behind the car, much to the disgust of some fellow drivers.
Vegeta, the prince of all Saiyans (well, there were only four other than himself alive), was NOT happy. Under threat of having the systems of his gravity room re-written by a human, who was several million times weaker than himself, he was now sitting on the sofa flicking through daytime television in one of the foulest of moods.
It had been an hour since breakfast, which surprisingly was edible. That was about it though… On a lighter note, he thought, Kakarotto's ki was heading towards West City at a rate of knots. At least he'd be able to beat his frustration out on the big baka. The flame of hair twitched as he took a bite out of one of those cereal and chocolate bars.
All of a sudden music started playing out of thin air. Vegeta looked very confused as footsteps thumped in time to the music. Spotlights and lasers suddenly zoomed in on the staircase, where Turles was sauntering to the main floor. He wore just a t-shirt and boxers, as he alternated between brushing his hair…
"Hey hey"
…And singing along to the music. His tail thrashed in the air, leaving pretty streaks behind due to the reflection of light of the clean fur. Bulma walked into the living room, having heard music, singing and the general darkness, smoke and abnormal lights shooting out in all directions.
"Hey hey, let the rain come down on me."
Vegeta slowly turned to look at the blue haired scientist, a look of pure confusion on his face.
"Hey, hey… hey, hey." Turles finally hit the carpet of the living room and then climbed up onto the coffee table, where a spotlight switched itself on. He then began to sing along, using his hairbrush which doubled as a microphone.
"I see people and they're craving blood
And I'm so rarely understood
Well I don't know what they want from me,
It's gonna take sometime just to let them see…"
Out of nowhere, Trunks and Goten slid onto the 'stage', both wearing identical green and orange sequin covered suits.
A white car pulled up onto the lawn of Capsule Corporation, sending three of the four passengers flying forward. Raditz sat up, rubbing his head cautiously.
"Hang on… weren't there five of us originally?" The large saiyan looked confused. He got out of the car, just as the side of the house opened up, causing smoke and lasers to billow onto the lawn. Trunks Goten and Turles were now dancing as well as singing on their 'stage'.
"I'm going through a black, hey Capricorn day
And though it doesn't seem so, I've got to get this way.
I'm going through a black hey Capricorn day
Though you want to check me out
I'm not the man to play, play, play, play."
Gohan and Chichi stared into the Briefs living room, a thick cloud of shock effectively reducing any sense of logic to a small buzz in the back of their minds. Goku on the other hand was now happily clapping along, thoroughly enjoying the show.
"Well at least we know where Goten is now." Raditz mentioned to no one in particular.
"Hey hey
Don't you see I'm not the man to play
Hey hey
No way you can play with me today
Hey hey
Just let me sing it to my Capricorn day." (1)
Turles clapped twice, all the smoke and lasers instantly disappeared back to whatever dimension they were pulled out of. The living room wall rebuilt itself, and the demi-saiyans wandered off back to wherever they were previously.
Bulma slowly applauded the performance, while Vegeta occasionally twitched.
"Thank you." Turles beamed, pulling off a classical 'Son-Style' grin and then disappeared in a puff of orange smoke.
"o.O" Vegeta twitched, then waddled over to the front door. "Raditzu."
"Vegeta." The large saiyan replied, looking rather disturbed due to the sheer randomness of Turles' little show, followed up by Vegeta answering the door like a zombie.
"So, I think it's about time we told them." Bulma said hesitantly. They'd all taken a little while to recover from Turles' little stunt. Over the past hour, Juuhachigou and her family, along with Tien Launch and Chiaotzu had arrived. Chichi nodded to her friend.
"Everyone, I have an announcement to make!" Bulma popped her head around the doorframe, then sweatdropped at the lack of response she got. Launch was quietly minding her business when a brown feather floated out of nowhere on a non-existent breeze. The feather brushed against her nose, causing everyone that was in the kitchen to move a few feet away in their own directions then freeze.
"Ahh…. Ahhh ah…." The woman seemed to gain control over her nose. Everyone relaxed, moving back to what they were doing.
"AAAHHHCHOOOOOO!" the sneeze shook the foundations of the compound. A now blonde-haired, green eyed Launch stormed into the living room. Once there, she pulled out a rocket launcher along with a special nuclear warhead.
"Alright, listen up you bums! Bulma's got something to tell y'all, an' yer all gonna listen otherwise you're all gonna be EXTINCT!"
Not daring to move, every person with Saiyan blood nervously looked toward the kitchen, where Bulma was now sweatdropping.
"Ok get moving! One, Two one two one two!" The saiyans filed quietly into the kitchen, all opting to stay as far away from the blonde as possible. Suddenly, a chicken flew in through the open kitchen window, causing Launch to sneeze and revert back to her blue-haired form.
The said chicken decided to perch on Vegeta's head, much to the prince's disgust. Barely hiding a twitch, he glared at the demi saiyan.
"How many times have I told you to lock Cookie-chomper's cage?" Vegeta growled threateningly. Trunks looked thoughtful and then started counting. (2)
"One hundred and forty two times."
"O.o" He stared at the lavender haired demi-saiyan before recovering his anger. Vegeta pulled the offending poultry off his head, and let it hang upside-down while he lectured his son. "This is absolutely the last time I'm warning you brat. Next time, I'll be having chicken for lunch."
Vegeta stomped over to the window, calculating the distance between the window and the chicken coop. With a carefully angled swing, he threw the offensive bird out of the window. Cookie- chomper bounced several times before landing in his cage, which automatically closed and locked behind the tumbling chicken.
"AHEM!" Chichi cleared her throat, brandishing the Frying Pan of Doom™ "There shall be no more interruptions."
Crickets chirped in the background.
"Much better." Chichi nodded and then sat back down "Bulma?"
"Ah right!" The scientist snapped out of a daze. "Most of you know why I've called you here… but I'm making this an official announcement. Trunks, stop picking your nose." Trunks hid his hands behind his back, whistling innocently.
"Chichi, Launch, Juuhachigou and I are going on a 'Girls Weekend' to New York."
"Alright! Road Trip!" Goku hopped up and down excitedly.
"You're not coming with us." Chichi said bluntly. Goku's pupils shrunk down to pinpricks.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"
"Listen again Goku, Bulma, Launch, Juuhachigou and I are going on this trip. The rest of you are staying here, on your own, until we get back on Monday afternoon."
All those who bore saiyan blood gawked at the women as if they'd gone crazy.
"But who will feed us?" Goku's bottom lip wobbled, as his eyes filled to the brim with tears.
"Who will clean up when we make a mess?" Goten chimed in, with the exact same expression as his fathers. Bulma held up a hand for silence.
"Enma-Sama got in touch with us. Baba informed him of our plans, and the future looks bleak for this planet if we were to leave you unsupervised for an entire weekend. So, he's sent us some reinforcements."
Bulma clapped her hands, a poof of pink smoke filled the kitchen, along with the sounds of a sickening crack of two something's breaking the kitchen table. The scientist peeked into the smoke at two figures, which were busy picking their way out of the rubble.
"Well that didn't go as well as planned." She sweatdropped. Turles pulled out a giant fan, and switched it onto the highest setting. Not only did it get rid of the smoke, the mini-tornado completely ripped the kitchen apart.
Bulma glared at the Goku-like saiyan. "Sorry?" he grinned sheepishly.
"GASP!" Raditz stared at the remains of the kitchen in shock, having gotten a good look at who the reinforcements were.
"'Tousan!"
"Daddy! O.O" Vegeta's eyes went wide with shock, before his eyes rolled back in their sockets. The prince of all saiyans had fainted.
(1) -ref. Black Capricorn Day by Jamiroquai. I don't own it.
(2)- ref2. Alvin and the Chipmunks. They had a kitten called Cookie-chomper. I don't own the name.
Please R&R. What did you think?
Raditz: I think you've finally lost the plot, especially since that mini-manga you drew last night -.-;
You're just unhappy because you got called an Onna.
Raditz: .'' Just don't turn it into a fic.
-Brightens- That's a BRILLIANT Idea!
Raditz: I'm doomed...