The Kenshin Theory

By: Port-of-seas

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin; I just slander its name.

Author's note: I don't really care if you flame me. This is a makeshift essay written on yet another of my all-night movie fests with my friends. Amidst the Star Wars, Japanese Soda, and giggling over the newest issue of Kare Kano, this occurred to me. I'm probably going to lose all credibility as a writer.

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We all know and love Rurouni Kenshin Himura, the wandering swordsman. But how well do we know him? One question, the one of Himura's past, seems to have failed to be recognized. His lineage, his childhood, and his parentage; all one big question, really.

Let's lay out what facts we do know. Kenshin lived in a large family who all succumbed to disease, leaving our beloved samurai alone and orphaned. His only thing left to remind him was a simple top. Later, young Kenshin, Shinta at the time, became a slave. Three fellow slaves he knew for but a day sacrificed themselves for dear Shinta, dying to protect him. Shinta dug and marked graves for them, and soon he met Hiko, his shishou, who made an offering of sake to them.

And the rest is history. It's easy for the mind to assume from there the melodrama, terrible teens, and ultimate fall-out that shaped Hitokiri Battosai, Kenshin Himura.

Now for the really unusual stuff, Kenshin is a natural red-head, a carrot top, and in all respects we love him for it. But unless his natural hair happened to have a touch of bleach to it, we need to face the facts that the red hair is uncommon for Japanese. I'm not completely outlawing the idea that he is part of that minority of Japan who are known for their red hair, of course. This is just a part of a theory.

Moving on to his smooth, soft complexion. Understandable, but for an Asian man who spends a majority of his time outdoors, we must wonder where's the tan? I mean, by all respects, he simply shouldn't be so fair-skinned. Could it be that something in his skin keeps him from really tanning? Perhaps he burns. A suiting explanation for Himura Kenshin.

Next, admit it, he's got a temper. Sure as a rurouni he's calm, patient, and charming, but when his temper flares, he's gone. And as a teenager he wasn't exactly cool-headed. How else could he have become Hitokiri Battousai, the most feared and perfected assassin in the Bakumatsu? He's even mastered the evil death glare. In short, he's not a happy person.

If you know where it's headed, be patient.

Now, do we really know who Kenshin's parents were? Yes? No? Maybe so? I don't believe we ever actually met them in the series. So who were his strange sires?

Onto the last point of oddness, the theme song. The first line is "I brushed against those freckles that I hated so…" Wait…Kenshin has freckles? No…but maybe the line suggests more than we realized. Perhaps Kenshin doesn't have freckles, so who does?

Red hair, fair skin, a hot temper, and maybe freckles. No two ways about it! Kenshin could be half Irish! He certainly has the Luck of the Irish; he would need it to survive those adventures. Just picture it; his hair down and flowing on the wind, a kilt over those feminine legs, and blue and gold paint on his fate as he screams for freedom for his country!

So this St. Patrick's Day, lose the fake leprechaun hats, give someone else that Kiss Me I'm Irish shirt. Don a Kiss me I'm Kenshin Kimono instead cause who knows? Our favorite samurai just might be the best of the east and west!