NOTE: Much of the dialogue in this first scene belongs to Sorkin and TBTB at NBC, from the season one episode, "The Crackpots and These Women."

Chapter One

October, 1999

"More oregano," Eleven-year-old Lane Bartlet said.

She sat on the counter beside her older sister, Zoey, who stood in front of the large pot of chili, stirring every so often.

"It doesn't need more oregano," Zoey replied.

Lane nodded.

"Yes, it does."

"You think?"

"Mmm-hmm!"

"Eh, what do you know?"

"More than you," Lane answered, smugly.

"I'm on my way to Georgetown Universtity. You're in…what, fifth grade?"

"Shut up!"

"I'm just saying. I've got seven years on you, kid. So watch out."

Lane shrugged.

"I don't care."

"Yeah, sure ya don't," Zoey said.

Lane pulled a hair tie off of her wrist, pulled her long, blonde hair off of her neck and fastened it loosely in the hair tie.

"Is Ellie gonna come?" She asked.

"I doubt it."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. She probably has class or something. That's her usual excuse," Zoey said.

"Man! This sucks. She's the only one who's nice to me," Lane said, sadly.

"I'm nice to you!"

"Are not!"

"Are too! Er…am too. Whatever. I'm nice to you."

"Nuh-uh. You hate me because I ruined your whole baby of the family thing."

"That's not true! Well, it is true. But I don't hate you, Lane!" Zoey insisted.

"You're my sister, I love you. I'll always love you. Even when you're a total pain in the ass."

"Like when!" Lane questioned, defensively.

"Oh, don't get me started, youngun."

Lane glanced up when she heard the door open slowly, and saw Josh Lyman creeping up behind her sister. He put his fingers to his lips, signaling for her to keep quiet. Lane grinned and turned back to Zoey. Zoey took one look at the grin on her little sister's face and knew.

"Drop the spoon!" Josh shouted.

Zoey rolled her eyes and looked back at him, while Lane laughed uncontrollably.

"I knew it was you."

"You look good!"

"And you look like death on a triscuit," Zoey replied, smirking slyly.

"Oh, thanks very much. I've been seeing a new barber," Josh said.

"I heard you've been having a little nutty today."

"A little!" Lane said, in disbelief. "Try a humungous, gigantic nutty."

"Mind your own business. You too, Baby Smurf," Josh said, sending a challenging look in Lane's direction.

"Bite me, Lyman!" Lane exclaimed.

"Hey, hey, hey, now. If your father catches you saying that, he's gonna blame me. My job is at stake here."

"I got it from Sam."

"Yeah, but see, I'm the scapegoat of the West Wing. Everything falls on me, sweet tart."

"Ew. Who says sweet tart?"

"I do. And that is what you are," Josh said.

"Yeah, well, you're…you're...a triscuit with death on it!"

Josh and Zoey burst out laughing.

"Way to ruin a good phrase there, Laney," Zoey said.

"Hi, Charlie!" Lane said, cheerily, when she noticed her father's personal aide poke his head into the kitchen.

"Lane."

"Charlie, you met Zoey Bartlet?" Josh asked.

"No. It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am, I'm Charlie Young."

"Hi," Zoey said.

"Okay, hang on a second. Let's take it back a moment and give it another chance. This is a girl, Charlie. You don't have to call her ma'am."

"I beg your pardon. Did I call you…"

"Zoey."

"I should call you Zoey?" Charlie asked.

Zoey grinned devilishly.

"If I can call you Charlie."

"Yes. Um, I have a message from the President."

"Oh, jeez," Lane mumbled.

"That would be their father," Josh said.

"You're forbidden from adding additional cumin to the chili."

"Charlie, check the door to see if my father's nearby," Zoey said.

"Ma'am, I…"

"Ah, ah, ah!" Josh said.

"Zoey, I have certain instructions, and I don't want to get in trouble…"

"Come on, Charlie!" Lane cried.

"You're fine," Josh assured them.

"Taste this."

Zoey practically shoved the spoon into Charlie's mouth. Lane giggled as a result.

"Doesn't it need cumin?"

"It needs oregano," Charlie said.

"Ha! SEE! I told you it needed oregano!" Lane shouted. "Thank you, Charlie!

Charlie, Zoey, and Lane returned to the sitting room, where the staff was gathered. Charlie signaled to the President that the chili was ready, and Jed tried to get everyone's attention.

"Uh, excuse me!" Jed shouted. "Thank you. Uh, friends, please…"

The people in the room instantly silenced at the voice of their commander-in-chief.

"Well, chili's ready and I hope you all enjoy it. In fact, since I told you you would enjoy it, I'm reasonably certain that you will."

Jed paused as everyone laughed. Zoey and Lane merely rolled their eyes. They were still a little stunned by the power their father now possessed.

"You know, of course, the First Lady is in Pakistan. I'm not entirely sure why, but I've learned it's a pretty good idea not to ask my wife too many questions as it seldom leads to anything but further confusion. I miss her very much. But I'm delighted our beautiful daughter, Zoey, is here."

Everyone clapped, and vocally acknowledged Zoey's presence. Zoey grinned, slightly embarassed. Lane pouted.

"What about me!" Lane cried out.

"You're always here, Baby Smurf," Josh retorted, to everyone's utter amusement.

"I'm delighted our two beautiful daughters, Zoey and Lane, are here. Is that better, darling?" Jed said, almost sarcastically.

Lane shrugged.

"I guess."

"You know, Zoey is attending Georgetown in the spring. This, prior to medical school and a life of celibacy."

"Yeah, right!" Josh exclaimed.

"It's an incredible adventure you're starting on, sweetheart…"

December 20th, 1987 Washington, D.C.

Sleep had been a foreign concept to Jed and Abbey Bartlet for the last few nights. It was a wonder they remembered how when they time came. Between the two infants that now ruled their household, rare and cherished was the moment when one wasn't crying or fussing in some way that required immediately attention. Lucky for Elizabeth, Annie proved to be the calmer child and enjoyed her sleep. Lane, however, was a completely different story. Lane saw nothing exciting in being quiet and restful.

When the clock struck 4:07 am, after Jed and Abbey had been able to snag a few hours of sleep, the dreaded noise started up again. They didn't need an alarm clock, as Lane's copious cries were alarming enough. The cry was completely her own, not to be confused with Annie's. Annie's cry was soft, yet insistent, like a timid whimper. Lane's was loud and, Jed thought, slightly reminiscent of a police siren wailing. Miraculously, everyone in the house seemed to be capable of sleeping through it. Perhaps it was parental instinct, but neither Jed nor Abbey could ever block their daughter out. At the sound of piercing cries, Abbey rolled over into her husband, still holding on to the last remnants of her precious catnap, which is really all it was. Jed stirred at her touch and turned his body around. After a moment of denial, he opened his eyes groggily. Abbey groaned irritably and opened one eye slowly, then the other.

"I'll go," she offered.

"You sure?" He asked, though he didn't sound intent on fighting her.

"Yeah. You went last time."

She yawned and stretched out her body, lazily.

"Okay," Jed replied, rolling back over and returning to his peaceful dreams.

Abbey threw the covers off her, slipped on her bathrobe, stepped into her slippers, and trudged out of the room. She made the journey downstairs to the kitchen to retrieve the bottle of formula from the fridge, then continued on into Lane's. Her cries was almost deafening, but softened into whimpers when the door opened. Abbey approached the bassinet and glanced down at her daughter. She reached inside to pick her up, but the moments she settled the baby into her arms, she began wailing again. Abbey walked around the room, bouncing her gently as a way to circumvent her tears.

"Shh, it's okay, sweetheart. It's all right," she whispered, soothingly.

Despite her best efforts, the tears and wailing continued, now more fervently than ever. In the next room, Jed tossed and turned, awakened by the continuing noise. Bewildered, he got out of bed and went into Lane's room to investigate.

"What's wrong?" He mumbled.

"Nothing," Abbey replied, quickly. "She's fine."

He rubbed his eyes and walked over to her, squinting his eyes to better his vision.

"She's not fine. She won't take the bottle."

"She's just fussy."

"Give her to me," Jed insisted.

"Jed, she's fine."

"Just let me try."

"Fine," she sighed, and handed her daughter over to her husband.

The crying dimished into sobs, and then finally terminated altogether. Jed smiled, took the bottle from Abbey, and offered it to Lane, who accepted it greedily. Abbey placed her hands on her hips as watched them, thoroughly confused.

"Well," she said, finally. "Looks like you've got the magic touch tonight."

Jed grinned back and moved to have a seat in the rocking chair in the corner of the corner.

"Nobody knows it better than you, babe."

She rolled her eyes and headed back to bed, thanking God for granting her some extra sleep.