We taught each other things.

This is how you put up the tent so that it's wide enough (even though it's plenty room for one person).

This is how you let someone borrow your razor without making it obvious you don't care a bit that they woke you up just to ask you.

This is how you take off your clothes in front of someone without making it obvious that you want them to look.

This is how you fold your lips over a harmonica to make it sing just as badly as I do. Here, you try.

This is how you put your lips on another person who doesn't smell like perfume and shampoo and clean cotton.

This is how you put away the food so that it won't attract bears.

This is how you forget about eating.

This is how you open your mouth to say something that you're afraid of even thinking.

This is how you spend hours with a person saying nothing at all.

This is how you keep someone else warm who won't admit to being cold. This is how you allow yourself to be held.

We told each other things.

This is how I knew you loved me.

You didn't wanna say it, you didn't mean to, but you did. You were drunk. You told me how you turned her over on your wedding night. I asked you why, even though I probably knew. I hoped.

Reading my mind, you smiled with inebriated wit, said, "You bet." You slurred your speech. I spilled my beer.

This is how you knew that you weren't just a man to me.

We were supposed to meet up there, and you were late. I found a payphone. When you picked up, you sounded groggy and sick. Influenza, or something like that, you said you'd probably die if you slept outside. As soon as I heard you I felt bad for being angry, even though I'd been so damn anxious to grab you it made me feel like screaming. You said you were sorry, that you'd try to make it by the end of the weekend if it got any better and you hung up.

I drove all the way over to your place. Your eyes looked like burning dead planets. You seemed angry to see me, but then I didn't even try to kiss you. I brought you a blanket from my truck. I ran to the store for you to get some lousy broth that burned your tongue. By then you were just stunned, and you asked me what in hell I was doing. I said, I cain't stand the thought a you livin' alone. That's all I said.

On Monday you were still throwing up and shivering and your boss called to yell at you. I pretended to be your brother and I told him how sick you were. I probably exaggerated it a bit. He didn't get huffy, probably cause it was apparently so bad you had your brother taking care of you and all. It was the only time you ever let me be at your house. The next day you felt better so I had to go.

You wanted me to go, and you wanted me to stay. When I got back to Texas I was sick too. You warned me not to get next to you, but I would sit really close while you were sleeping. I breathed you too much. I started to feel like a prick for going to Mexico.

Me and Ennis, that was how it was.