Summary: JJ. She let herself fall for him, even though he was with someone else.
Disclaimer: Don't own a thing.
Author's Note: Sorry to all you 'Digger' fans (not sure you even exist), but Jason Stiles is not in this fan fiction. In fact, let's just pretend he never grossed us out by appearing on the show in the first place. Moving on, the first bit of dialogue you will read is from the scene in episode 4.11 "In The Clamor and the Clangor". You will find that the script continues from this scene. Please read and review!
Because She Cares
Chapter One: A Soft Cry For You
"You know, none of this, is any of your business."
"It's absolutely my business."
"How?"
"Because. I wasted a week of my life adjusting to the idea that you moved, only to find out that you haven't moved."
"How much adjusting did you have to do? Nothing's changed. I still see you every day. I still cook your food. I still serve your coffee. What do you care?"
"I care."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want you to move."
"Why? Why don't you want me to move?"
Lorelai couldn't help but roll her eyes as she shifted in her stance. She knew he would ask this question, she had walked right into it. Why do you care, Lorelai? Why are you so focused on pointing out every one of their flaws? Why are you so upset over him moving to another town? She was falling for him, despite the fact that he was taken, despite the fact that they were just friends, she was falling for Luke, and she didn't want him to leave.
She looked up at him, noticing the annoyed expression on his face. She had angered him, once again, by questioning the status of his relationship with Nicole. Nicole, just thinking of her name made Lorelai's nose wrinkle with disgust. It was none of her business, she knew this, but if she could get him to admit to the reality of his non-existent marriage, then maybe she wouldn't feel as bad.
He was expecting her to answer, yet she had been standing there for the last three and a half minutes, staring at the floor. The deafening silence forced her to speak, keeping her from realizing what she was saying, "Because you won't be here. You'll be there... with her. What If I need you or - or I want to see you?"
Luke's face immediately softened as he heard these words. He walked closer to her, not realizing the effect he was making upon her as he placed his hands on her arms, "Lorelai, I'll always be around. You don't have to worry about-"
She was quick to interrupt him, "No, I know. I don't - I don't know what I'm saying. You're always there, for everybody... You're you. You're amazing." She closed her eyes in embarrassment, "This is coming out wrong. I mean you are amazing, but I didn't mean for it to sound-" She stopped mid-sentence when she saw a barely visible smile creep upon his face. Apparently he liked the compliment. He walked closer to her, beginning to fill in the small space between them.
An almost inaudible gasp escaped from her at the realization of their closeness. She couldn't tear her eyes away from his lips, "I don't want you to move, Luke. I know that doesn't make a difference," her eyes reached his, "I just want you to know t-that." She found it hard to say those last few words, she was too caught up in the strong gaze that was burning through her. Her eyes had never been focused on someone this intently.
Her eyes then fluttered shut at the feel of his warm breath on her face. His hands swept past her sides, past her waist, to her hips. He lowered his head, leaning towards her, bringing his lips just centimeters away from her own.
His nose brushed against hers, as she stood still, her breath hitching with every inhale.
She panicked when their lips had almost touched, quickly turning her head, leaving Luke to suffer in his embarrassment.
Her voice was so soft, he could just make out what she was saying, "Nicole" and when he heard this, he suddenly felt sick to his stomach.
"Luke, I don't want to be responsible for any-"
"I-I know. I'm sorry..." he paused, and then stated lamely, "it just happened..." He was humiliated, unable to look in her direction. He didn't know what caused him to say these next words, but he regretted them the instant they left his lips, "I don't - I don't want to be with Nicole." he leaned in closer, almost unnoticed, "I want to be with you."
She mentally kicked herself for ever speaking.
She backed away from him slightly, staring at the ground, "You can't leave Nicole, Luke. Not because of me."
"Lorelai-"
She shook her head, "No, I-"
"I can just end it with her, I can just-"
He stopped when he saw the look on her face. Her mind was set.
She closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears threatening to emerge, as she whispered, "Oh, my God..." she rubbed her hand across her forehead, "I shouldn't have did this. I shouldn't have said anything. I should have just let you move..."
"No, Lorelai-"
"I couldn't have just supported you, with your marriage, your divorce, your relationship..."
"Don't start making this your thing. You didn't do anything wrong."
A small tear trickled down her cheek, as she nodded, slowly, "Yes, I did." I let myself fall for you, even though you're with someone else.
He stood there, shocked by her words, and amazed by her want to push their meanings away. "Lorelai-"
He was interrupted, "Luke? Lorelai?" The reverend then realized what they were doing, "Oh, thank God. Carry on."
As he walked away, she realized how much she wanted to follow him. Out of the church. Away from this. "Luke, I'm - I'm gunna head home. I'll see you tomorr- uh, maybe some time next week, you know... busy with... business... I have to go..." She nearly missed the look on his face.
The confusion and guilt was suffocating her.
She stood there, back against the door, snow falling from the sky, tears running down her face. Things were more complicated than she ever expected them to be. Then again, she never expected to feel this way about Luke.
TBC