DISCLAIMER: i dont own anyone or anything fromhouse. many thanks to bauerfreak who very kindly let me use the 'boredom list' from their CSI fic. although i have changed some things and added some things, i wanted to let you know the original concept was not mine. how i use it, however... hehe. read on, and enjoy!
Cameron and Foreman groaned. There was nothing to do, nothing to see, nothing to smell, and nothing to hear. Chase was gone, so they couldn't pick on him, and they both secretly thought the other was too boring to have anything worth picking on. House was pottering around somewhere, presumably following Cuddy around for his latest "Piss Off Your Boss" campaign.
"Never fear, I am here!" Chase announced, skidding into the conference room with a piece of paper in his hands.
They groaned again.
"Seriously, in my hands I am holding your ticket-"
"To the chocolate factory?" Cameron quipped. Foreman raised a hand lazily, and Cameron slapped it, maintaining the bored expressionless expression on her face.
Chase scowled childishly. "Nooo, I am holding your ticket to FUN! Or at least, away from boredom."
Cameron raised an eyebrow, but Foreman wasn't bought. "Meh" he shrugged, eyes drooping.
Chase kicked him.
"Fine! What is it?" he snapped, raising his head to pretend he was mildly interested. Chase stepped forward smugly and silently dropped the piece of paper on the table in front of his bored colleagues. It read:
The Boredom Battle
Play with 2-4 colleagues.
Instructions: Play when bored in the office. Points are awarded for each activity completed on the list (you may not repeat activities more than once), and after two weeks, the employee who managed to collect the most points AND keep their job is the winner. Let the games begin!
1 POINT:
-Run one lap around the floor at top speed.
-Walk sideways to the whiteboard.
-Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
-When they're not looking, pour most of someone's fresh cup of coffee into your mug, leaving them with an inch of brew.
-Ignore the first 5 people who say 'good morning' to you.
-Call someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
-To signal the end of a conversation, clap your hands over your ears and grimace.
-when an office mate is out, wheel their chair to the elevator.
-While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the door opens.
3 POINTS:
-Babble incoherently at a fellow employee and then ask, "Did you get that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
-Say to your boss, "I like your style", and shoot him/her with double-barrelled fingers.
-Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
-While someone is talking to you, shout 'what? I can't hear you!' repeatedly.
-Tuck one pant leg into your sock and when asked, answer 'not now' and walk away.
-at the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem.
5 POINTS:
-Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
-For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'.
-Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do number 2".
-After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent.
-Ask anyone you pass what sex they are and, when they reply, laugh loudly.
-In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter 'shut up, all of you just shut up!'
-In a colleague's schedule, write in at 10am "See how I look in tights."
-Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person – "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
-As a colleague passes by, pinch their ass, and when they turn around wink at them.
Foreman's eyes lit up. Cameron looked hesitant.
"I dunno…"
Chase rolled his eyes. "Typical."
She shrugged. "I just don't think it's appropriate."
Chase raised an eyebrow. "Or you just don't have the balls to do it."
Cameron's mouth dropped open in horror. "Do so!" she exclaimed, before stalking over to the whiteboard and snatching one of House's markers. In the top left corner she wrote in miniscule writing: ARE.
"Are?" Foreman asked, squinting.
"You idiot, it stands for Allison, Robert and Eric! Duh!" Chase replied sarcastically, smacking the side of his head. Cameron blinked, clearly taken aback.
"What?" Chase asked, puzzled.
"N-nothing, I'm just amazed you got it, and he didn't." She stammered, pointing to Foreman, who was now looking equally frightened. "It is weird." He muttered.
Chase thought for a moment, before answering. "Yeah, I suppose it is, but let's not waste any more time thinking about it. You two have to get your asses into gear if you're gonna lose this game."
That got the two of them into party mode. Cameron snapped the lid back on the marker and threw it at the whiteboard, before consulting the list one more time. Chase, who knew it off by heart, ran out of the conference room. Foreman, who had only one activity in mind at that moment, ran out after him, towards Cuddy's office.
The Dean of Medicine was going over some files with her Sex-retary when Foreman approached. She left the younger man to his work while she went back into her office, presumably to pretend she was busy.
The Sex-retary looked at Foreman, who was standing motionless in the doorway. When he realised that Foreman wasn't going to explain himself, the Sex-retary went back to his work. He pulled out a pile of files and began counting them, and Foreman sprang to life.
"One, two, three-"
"Seven."
"Five, six, seven-"
"Twenty-three"
"Look, could you stop that please? I'm trying to work."
Foreman said nothing.
"One, two, three, four, five-"
"Twelve"
"Eight, nine, ten, eleven-"
"Five"
"Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen-"
"Six thousand, three hundred and forty-two"
"Hey, man, could you stop that please?"
Foreman narrowed his eyes. "I really don't like you." He said shortly, before leaving.
Meanwhile Cameron was waiting outside the door to House's office. He was bound to turn up sooner or later – his Game Boy was in there.
House did turn up, and was limping past Cameron when he felt a sharp pinch on his butt.
"Ow! What-" He exclaimed, and turned to find Cameron standing there, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at him. He blinked, quite turned on, but very, very afraid. She smiled smugly and skipped off in the opposite direction, leaving a confused House standing outside his office.
"I've always wanted to do that." She giggled to herself happily.
Meanwhile Chase was sitting by a phone and picking out numbers at random.
"Yes, It's Doctor Chase here. Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye"
"Yes, It's Doctor Chase here. Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye"
"Yes, It's Doctor Chase here. Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye"
And so on.
During a brief meeting that evening before going home, the Ducklings checked the tally. Cameron was leading on five points; Foreman was next on three points; and Chase was tailing them on one point. He had tried to write thirty-two, but Foreman stopped him, explaining that he got one point for the whole activity, not for each person he rang.
After putting the marker away, the three of them eyed each other warily before backing out the door.
dun dun dun... i was going to make this a oneshot, but it is SO MUCH fun to write, and i want to cover most or all of the activities. i dont have the time to write it all now. expect an update for this, a housytale (next chapter almost complete - just polishing it up) or whisper soon. bye for now :)