A/N: Will feature lots of references to Shakespeare as well as some other classic literature, something I love greatly. Everything s good through OotP. However, HBP was not taken into account.

.Disclaimer: I do not believe in slavery. It was abolished over here by the man himself, Abe Lincoln. Therefore, I cannot and do not own these characters, be they real or fictional

Much Ado about Something

Chapter One: The Marriage Law

I beg the ancient privilege of Athens,
As she is mine, I may dispose of her:
Which shall be either to this gentleman
Or to her death, according to our law
Immediately provided in that case.

---Egeus, A Midsummer Night's Dream

Act I, Scene I William Shakespeare

A joke. This had to be some kind of fucking joke. She sat staring at the two men in front of her in shock, a piece of parchment held loosely in her numb hands. She had just finished reading over the new Marriage Law. She was so angry, she couldn't even manage to read the end of the document. She couldn't believe what she'd read. They couldn't be serious. "You can't possibly be serious!" Albus Dumbledore gave her a sympathetic look before replying, "I'm afraid Miss Granger, this is entirely serious." Then Hermione noticed that his eyes were no longer twinkling. That was always a sure sign that something was bad. "But—but I don't understand! Why would you do something like this?" She directed this last angry comment to the man standing beside Professor Dumbledore. Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic, and apparently the biggest git who ever lived.

He shuffled a bit, trying his hardest not to meet her eye. Her temper was quickly becoming a legend in the Wizarding World, not because she was easily angered, but because of the consequences she handed down to those who did cross her. Hermione pinned him with a fierce gaze, forcing him to meet her eyes as he stumbled over his prepared explanation. "Well, you see Miss Granger, it's a matter of genetics. Being a Squib is a genetic malfunction found only in old Pureblood families. We feel this problem can be eradicated through offspring produced from Pure and non-Pure blood. So in an attempt to eliminate this and other genetic abnormalities, we…" "I understand that! I am, after all, a Muggleborn. What I don't understand sir," her voice dripping with sarcasm as she used the authoritative address, "is how you can possibly think that this ridiculous Marriage Law is any kind of solution! You seem to think by simply forcing us all to marry…" "Now see here Miss Granger," Fudge started angrily. "I am the Minister of Magic, not you! Don't you presume, young lady, that you have any notion of how to run the Wizarding World. I'll have you know…" "Cornelius, please! Stick to the topic at hand!"

Dumbledore's intervention calmed Fudge down, but Hermione's anger was still simmering beneath the surface. "I still don't see why I was called here. I am a mere student, as you were so quick to point out Minister Fudge," she said with a sneer. "Why are you bothering to find out my opinions on your ridiculous law when it is apparent that you have already made your decision, unwise as it may be?" Fudge let the comment on his judgment slide, this once. "Well Miss Granger, it is a well known fact that you are a powerful witch, especially for your age, but I am sure you are well aware of that fact. What you may not be aware of, however, is the amount of power you hold in the Wizarding World, especially amongst your own, the Muggleborns. You are everything they strive to be, smart, powerful, and as good as any Pureblood. Your standing has only risen since you aided young Mr. Potter in his defeat of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. We at the Ministry felt that for the good of the Marriage Law, as well as all those affected by it, we needed your support, Miss Granger."

"There's no way in Hell I could ever support this—this monstrous piece of garbage you're trying to pass off as a law! You can take this law back to your Ministry and you can all shove it…" "I had told them you'd say as such Miss Granger. Which is why I insisted upon the last clause in the law. You see, Miss Granger, you have no choice. I am not asking you to support the law, I am telling you, you will support the law. That last clause states that you, specifically, will be the first to be wed." Fudge looked at her shocked face, smugly. He had succeeded! There was no way she could fight this! No one could, not even the great Albus Dumbledore! He watched her frantically scanning the parchment, then heard her read the last clause quietly to herself. "And further more, the first union shall take place at Hogwarts on or before the night of October 31 between Miss Hermione Granger and a yet unnamed groom!" She looked up at Dumbledore in desperation, stammering, "But Professor… he can't…he can't possibly! There must be something against this! October 31! That's only two weeks away! I—I can't…" She was nearly in tears, Fudge noticed gleefully. Sure the Marriage Law was a necessity, but it had also provided him with a perfect means for revenge against the great Miss Hermione Granger, the chit who had spent the last three years, at the urgings of Albus Dumbledore, speaking against him and his policies and causing doubt about his reliance amongst the Wizarding community. He'd even heard that she was behind that article in that ridiculous rag, The Quibbler. He wouldn't put it past her. He knew she had something held over Rita. Sure, he had been quick to doubt the words of Potter, but the boy was unstable! And he wasn't the only one who had wanted to cling to the illusion of peace!

"I'm afraid, Miss Granger, he can and he has. There is nothing you or I can do about it. And though this law will eventually be appealed, it will take months. Which is far too late for you and many others. You will begin receiving marriage contracts as early as tomorrow, possibly even this evening. The other students will begin receiving theirs after you have accepted a husband. You will introduce and explain the law to them during dinner the evening before your wedding. I feel that perhaps they will take it better coming from you. And though I do not agree with it, I think it is best for the other students, especially the Muggleborns, if you tried to support it. However, it is your decision." But even as he was saying this, he was giving her The Look. The Look that told her to think, that there was something she could do that could salvage this situation. But that he couldn't tell her. It was too late for herself, but perhaps…

"Fine. I will support this ridiculous farce of a law of my own free will, you pompous old git, but on one condition." Fudge laughed. "You, my dear, are in no position to be making demands." She fixed her glare on him. "If I have as much power as you say I do, and you truly want my support, then I believe that you will listen to me. The clause that states that all matches must be approved by the Ministry. I would like that clause changed." Fudge interrupted her. "Miss Granger that clause is important we don't want anyone to be hurt!" "I will approve the matches, Minister. With the help of Professor Dumbledore, any of the staff, and my future husband, whoever he may be. I firmly believe I know my fellow students and most of the younger generations of witches and wizards better than you or anyone in your ministry. I believe that I can make the best decisions for the safety of all those involved." Fudge could tell she would not back down on this matter. But, he supposed it could save his staff a load of extra work. "Fine, Miss Granger, you win. I will have the clause changed. Just remember, you must choose your husband before the 31st, and he must be approved by the Ministry. If you cannot decide upon one, we will make the decision for you. Now, if you will both excuse me, I have pressing matters to attend to. Good day, both of you. I will return in two weeks for your wedding, Miss Granger." And with that, Fudge stalked from the room.

Once she heard the door swing shut behind her, Hermione collapsed, pulling her knees up to her chest, burying her head in her arms and burst into tears, her strong, cool, and confidant façade cracking before the eyes of her Head Master. It startled him to see her in tears. Hermione had faced many hardships in her seven years at Hogwarts, and he had never seen her crack, not once. But now, before his eyes, he saw his Head Girl for what she truly was, what most of the professors and her fellow students forgot, a young woman, not even yet out of school, who was being asked, yet again, to grow up before her time. It was so easy to forget she was still a student. She was the Head Girl, a title she more than deserved. She upheld her duties and showed a great deal of responsibility and maturity. She had become so far advanced in her studies that all the professors agreed that she no longer needed to attend class. Instead, she had become more of an apprentice, a teaching assistant. She was available at all times, for whatever teacher needed her to help in whatever class. She continued with her classes through independent study projects, only meeting with the teachers when she needed their guidance. Yes, it was rather easy to forget how young she was. But now, more than ever, she needed guidance from an adult.

Hermione finally managed to calm herself and dry her tears. She looked up at Professor Dumbledore, but kept her knees hugged to her chest. "I'm sorry for being so emotional just now, Professor. And also for my behavior earlier. It was entirely inappropriate. I should have conducted myself better." Dumbledore smiled gently. "No my dear, don't apologize. You handled yourself like an adult. I can think of no one who could have handled that news any better. I am extremely proud of the decision you made as well. You have shown you care more for your fellow students than yourself." "Well, you did give me The Look," Hermione said with a slight laugh. "I assumed you wanted me to reach some kind of conclusion." He gave her a smile, then sobered a bit. "I suppose I should dismiss you now. You can expect to start receiving Marriage contracts soon. If you need any help, do not hesitate to come to any staff member or me. And take as much time as you need over the next two weeks to make our decision, for as you know, in the Wizarding World, when we say, "'Til death do us part" we mean it. Your decision is forever. I'll let the staff know to leave you at peace unless they desperately need you."

Hermione thanked him, and left his office, the Marriage Law parchment still clutched in her hand. Dumbledore and Fudge had caught her on her way to lunch. She could still make it to the end lunch, but suddenly she found she wasn't hungry. Besides, there was no way she could face her friends and their good-natured questions about what was wrong. She'd probably burst into tears again. She decided it was best she headed back to her dorm. She could loose her mind working on one of her school projects, perhaps Transfiguration. Or even better, she could find some papers to grade. Snape always seemed to be willing to let her grade; she knew how much he hated it himself. She reached the portrait that guarded the entrance to the Head's quarters. That was one of the advantages to being Head Girl, she had her own quarters. Granted, she did have to share them with the Head Boy, but even that wasn't so bad. If you would have told her two years ago that she would enjoy living with Draco Malfoy she would have hexed you to Hell and back. But ever since her sixth year, he'd changed. He'd grown and learned to think for himself. And so the two of them now had a friendship that mostly consisted of playful fighting, witty banter, and scholastic debates. He was the only student who came anywhere close to her level of knowledge.

But as much as she enjoyed Draco's company, she really felt that she needed time alone. But, she supposed Draco was better than Harry and Ron. He was more likely to leave her alone to think about it, while Harry and Ron, God love them, would pester her to no end until she burst into an emotional mess. However luck was really not on her side that day, for when she entered the shared common room, she found Harry, Ron, and Draco. It still amazed her to walk into a room and see these former enemies laughing and joking and being friends. It was Draco's timely change of heart that helped bring down Voldemort back in her sixth year. Since that day, Draco had instantly been accepted by Harry and Ron, all past transgressions forgotten. Some people found this unbelievable, but they don't understand that when you stand together and face down death, a bond is forged. All three boys looked up and, taking in her tear streaked face, asked in unison, "What happened?" If she had been in a better mood she would have laughed at the fact they spoke together, but that day, as she saw the concern etched on their faces, she could do nothing but burst into tears.

She was instantly swept up into a tight three-way hug, than led one of the couches in the room. Ron sat on her left, Harry to her right, and Draco perched on the coffee table in front of her. "We missed you at lunch. Where were you?" Harry asked. "We'd been getting worried." Ron added. Draco looked at her for a second, then said shrewdly, "I saw that Fudge was here with Dumbledore today. Does he have something to do with this?" She began crying harder, touched by they're concern and stricken yet again as she heard Fudge's name. She couldn't speak through her tears to explain what had passed in the Head Master's office. "Way to go, Ferret Boy! You made it worse!" She heard Ron hiss. "Well, how the Hell was I supposed to know that would cause the water works to increase, Weasel!" "Shut up both if you!" Harry snapped. He turned his attention back to Hermione. Normally, one of Draco and Ron's exchanges would have caused her to laugh, but today it seemed to have no affect. "Hermione please, just tell us what happened! We'll help you sort this out!" She didn't even know where to begin. She thrust the paper that had sealed her fate at them.

Ron and Harry crowded around Draco as the three read the Marriage Law, their mouths hanging down in shock, then in disgust. They all seemed to babble incoherently, looking up at her. She realized they hadn't read the worst of it yet. "Read the last clause," she managed to sob out. "WHAT THE FUCK?" Ron had apparently read that last clause. "But the 31st is in two weeks! How are you supposed to find a husband in two weeks?" Harry was rather hysterical. After letting Harry and Ron go for a bit, Draco finally decided it was best to step in. "Look, you both need to calm down! I know you're upset for Hermione, I am too! But we're not going to be able to find a way to help her if you two are hysterical! Now, I'm sure it's not the easiest story to tell, but I think it would be for the best if you tell us everything that happened, Hermione."

And in the face of Draco's cool logic, she did just that. Every horrifying moment from the time she meet Fudge in the entrance hall until she left Dumbledore's office minutes before. The three boys looked at her in awe. "You really said all that to Fudge?" Ron whispered. She nodded. He threw herself at her feet crying out, "Hermione, you are my hero!" She laughed gently, prying Ron's arms away from her knees. "Well, you know what the solution is, don't you?" She looked up at Draco in wonder. She saw no solution. "Why, you'll marry one of us, of course!" Harry and Ron nodded their fierce agreement. If Hermione married one of the three, they could be assured of her safety. For someone who thought she had no power, she had a great number of enemies. She loved her boys—as she had come to think of them—but she could never marry them. She knew they were offering to protect her, but there were other Muggleborns who needed their protection much more than she did.

"Though I do truly appreciate your offer boys, I must decline. You are meant for others, witches who can't hold their own against the men who would marry them to harm them. That's why I insisted upon approving each match. I know very well that most of my offers will come from the "reformed" Death Eaters, but I can handle them. Most of the other Muggleborn witches can't. It's better that the few of us who can handle the awful ones do. I'm going to protect as many of these Muggleborns as I can! I owe it to them!" The boys knew that there was nothing they could say to change Hermione's mind. She was set in her path and there was no swaying her from it. "Fine Hermione. If you think that's what you must do, we won't stop you. However, I want you to promise me something." "Oh, and what's that Draco?" He gave her a faint smile "Should my father throw his hat into the ring, please, please refuse him! I just don't think I could handle you for my stepmother!" That got a solid laugh out of Hermione. Really, the thought of her as Draco's stepmother! It was absurd! "Well, unless your father has taken leave of his senses, I wouldn't expect a contract from him! But I do promise you Draco; there's no way in Hell I'll ever become your stepmother! That would just be awkward!"

"There's always one of my brothers," Ron said hopefully. "I mean there's five of them and none of them are married yet! They all love you! I'm sure any of them would be more than willing to marry you!" Hermione had no doubt that the statement was true. It was a fact known by several that Hermione was an object of affection to all the Weasley boys. They viewed her as theirs and all would willingly cut of their wand arm to date her. She shook her head. "No Ron, as much as I love them, it wouldn't work. They're needed for the same reasons you three are. No, I'm going to have to marry someone who no one else can handle." Harry sat down beside her again, taking her hands in his and looking serious. "That's all well and good Hermione. I can understand wanting to protect the others. But you have got to promise me something. You've got to promise me you'll think about yourself for once. I don't want you in some horrible marriage to some evil git just because you want to protect someone else! Promise me you'll choose someone good, someone you can be happy with! Don't sacrifice yourself!" She was taken back by the ferocity of his statements. She hadn't realized how important her safety was to Harry. "I—I promise Harry."

The moment of tension passed when a roll of parchment presented itself in front of Hermione with a small pop. She took it and unrolled it with shaking hands. Her eyes scanned the parchment, her face growing fearful for a moment, then she caught sight of Draco and laughed. In fact, she was in hysterics. IT was the perfect ending to a perfectly shitty day! The boys looked at each other, none of them knowing what to do. Finally Ron ventured to ask, "Um...Hermione? Are you all right? Is there something funny? You want to let us in on the joke?" She wiped away the tears that were streaming down her face and choked out, "It's—It's a marriage contract from—from your father!" She pointed to Draco, then bust into peals of laughter. The boys failed to find the humor in this. "Ooooh-kay," Harry said slowly, heading to the portrait hole with Ron and Draco beside him. "Well, we have to go. We've got double Charms right now, so we'll …um… see you later, I guess." And with that the boys fled the room, leaving Hermione to laugh at their hasty retreat.

Before Hermione knew what had happened, a week had passed, and she was no closer to finding a husband and her "wedding" was now only a week away. It wasn't that she hadn't received contracts. She had received more than she knew what to do with. And though she spoke against it to Ron, she had received a contract from each Weasley brother. Apparently, Arthur was aware of her situation. She had written a letter to the entire family, explain why she had to decline their offers. She had received a slew of contracts from the "reformed" Death Eaters, everyone from Lucius Malfoy, to Crabbe and Goyle Srs. She had no doubt in her mind that their sole intentions were to seek revenge on her for her part in the downfall of their master. The only other option at the moment was Oliver Wood former Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, and current first string Keeper for Puddlemere United. He was nice enough, she supposed. They'd had a bit of a fling, if it could even be called that since there was no sex, the summer before her sixth year. The only problem came in the contract itself. She could never agree to the things he was asking of her! And of course, seeing as how none of the students knew of the law, she had received no contracts from them. But it as probably better that way. She would have refused most of them anyhow.

Finally she was at her wits' end. The professors had all left her be, even Snape which surprised her, he always seemed eager to let her grade essays for him. She sat in her common room, rereading her contracts for the hundredth time, when she felt like she needed to get some air. She jumped to her feet and left through the portrait hole. She wasn't sure where her feet were carrying her, exactly, she just let herself go. She felt the tears stream down her face as she gave into her despair over her situation. Stupid Fudge and his fucking Marriage Law! If she couldn't come up with a solution in a week, Fudge would be allowed to choose for her! And she had a feeling, in the pit of her stomach, he'd more than likely choose Lucius Malfoy! That was one thing she couldn't allow to happen! She tripped over a crack in the stone beneath her feet and fell to her knees. She didn't bother to rise again, she just leaned her side against the wall, pulled her knees up to her chest and let the tears flow freely. She need something to fix this, but she didn't know what. She needed to talk, she needed…

"Miss Granger? What in Merlin's name are you doing down there?" She looked up through her tear-blurred eyes to see Professor Snape standing before her. She hadn't realized she'd made it all the way down to the dungeons. Snape took one look at Hermione's face and knew what was more than likely troubling her. He reached down to help her up, saying, "Come on, Miss Granger. You won't get your problems solved sitting on the floor of the dungeons. Come, I'll take you to my office so you can calm down. Perhaps I can help you sort some things out." He managed to get her to her feet, and led her to his office. He settled her into the chair in front of his desk, then went to fix her a drink, to help her steady her nerves and get her wits about her. Nothing like a glass of Firewhiskey to bring a person back to their senses. He handed her the glass and settled behind his desk, sipping his own drink and watching her slowly sip the mouth burning liquid.

He observed he girl quietly. No, he supposed she wasn't a girl any more. A mere girl could not have played an instrumental role in the downfall of one of the most powerful wizards the world has ever seen. A girl could not have faced down the Minister of Magic, sacrificing her future willingly to ensure the safety of others. A girl could not be asked to make the decision she was facing. No if any student her deserved to be acknowledged as a woman—as an adult—it was Hermione Granger. And she had certainly grown into a beautiful young woman in the past few years. Not that Severus had been looking. He was very strict about his relationships with students. But it was hard not to notice how she had blossomed. She had womanly body with soft, lush curves. She wasn't short and boney like the other girls, she was tall and curvaceous. She'd always had an attractive face, and her features had only matured. He noticed that she never seemed to bother with cosmetics, but then again, she didn't really need to. Her natural beauty spoke for itself. She had the most stunning pair of brown eyes he'd ever come across, the rich brown color of coffee, with flecks of gold, does' eyes. But her most defining feature was her hair. While it had been bushy in her youth, it was now a long tangle of chocolate colored curls, falling nearly to her waist, giving her a wild, earthy beauty. Not that he'd been thinking such things. It was entirely inappropriate. She was his student! But he couldn't help but admire her maturity and her power, and of course, her intelligence. She was truly a beautiful person, both on the inside and the out.

The Firewhiskey, though it burned her throat going down, helped Hermione to regain her thoughts. She peered up through her lashes at the man in front of her. He was sitting in silence, contemplating something. Severus Snape, Potions Master, and an enigma in the eyes of Hermione Granger. No matter how hard she tried, he was the only man she could never figure out. When she first met him, she could swear he was the most evil git that ever existed and yet he saved Harry's life. It was nearly four years after that she found out that he was a spy for the Order of the Phoenix, yet another side to an already complicated man. Then when the Final Confrontation (she couldn't technically call it a battle, because, well, it wasn't one) he'd been flinging curses and hexes beside her and Draco (Ron had been engaged in a fierce dual alongside Neville Longbottom against Bellatrix and Ruldolphus Lestrange). He had helped her to protect Harry's back when his wand engaged Voldemort's, leaving them both open to attacks. And when she had exchanged wands with Harry, leaving her vulnerable so Harry could cast that final curse with her wand, he'd thrown himself in front of the Cruciatus Curse that had been aimed at her back.

But perhaps the most puzzling of all was his attitude after the fall of Voldemort. He was no longer the cold, greasy heartless bastard who inhabited the dungeons and stalked the corridors at night. He'd become the person he'd truly been underneath the spy all those years. He no longer favored Slytherin, in fact, he finally put most of them into their place. And he'd even manage to hand out some praises though they were still rare. He was still a tough task master, and still disliked his dunderhead students, and he could definitely still be a bastard. But now he treated everyone the way they deserved to be treated. It was if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Hermione could swear she could even see the change in him physically. Sure, he was still tall and lanky and his nose was still too big and his hair too greasy, but now he seemed to hold himself differently. And some of the lines were gone from his face. His dark eyes seemed to glimmer with a light she'd never seen in them before, not that she made a habit of staring into his eyes, or anything. And his omnipresent scowl was seen less often, and never as deep as before, though he still didn't smile. Personally, Hermione thought it was definitely a change for the better. Not that she made a habit of examining her Potions Master. That would just be odd. But she'd always respected the man, even when she hated him. He was intelligent and brave. And he was an utter enigma.

"Well, Miss Granger, have you calmed yourself now?" Snape questioned her, breaking her out of her reverie. She nodded meeting his black eyes apprehensively, afraid she'd find pity in them. If there was one thing she hated it was for people to pity her. But she saw no pity when he looked at him, just concern, and a strange emotion she couldn't quite put her finger on. "Whatever is bothering you must be very severe, for you are not one who loses control of your emotions very easily." Again, she just nodded, staying silent. She prided herself on her emotional control, swearing after "the teeth incident" in her fourth year to never let her emotions get the better of her again. And she had never broken, at least, not until a week ago. "Well, Miss Granger, would you care to discuss the matter? I'm more than willing to help you in any way I can. I do assume this has something to do with Fudge's ridiculous Marriage Law."

"Of course it's to do with that law! It's all I've been able to focus on for a week! I'm assuming Dumbledore told the entire staff about my little run in with Fudge a week ago," a quick nod of his head confirmed this. "Well thus far my options are…interesting to put it kindly. Firstly, Harry, Ron and Draco all offered to marry me. I, of course, refused, for obvious reasons. I was next sought out by Lucius Malfoy, of all people. Well, we both know it'll be a cold day in Hell when I marry him." She heard Snape give a small snort of laughter, but he didn't interrupt her, except to pour more Firewhiskey in her empty glass, then set the bottle where she could reach it a little easier. "Well, then I received offers from every male member of the Weasley family, save Arthur. According to what Ginny tells me, I'm the number one object of every Weasley brother's desire. Needless to say, I turned them down, for the same reasons I turned down Harry, Ron and Draco. I was then sent offers by every available "reformed" Death Eater. Since I know their desires are to kill me, I don't think I'll venture into matrimony with any of them. Which brings me to my only other available option: Oliver Wood." She realized she was babbling a bit, but now that she had started, she certainly couldn't stop.

"Now, Oliver would seem like the obvious choice. And it's not him personally, really it isn't. It's the marriage contract he sent me! It asks the most ridiculous things! Firstly, I wouldn't be able to finish my education here, which seems to me to be a terrible fate. While I'm sure the Head Master could arrange for me to take my NEWTs early, I'm really enjoying the projects I'm working on, and they're things I can only work on here! But then again, if I were to marry Oliver, I wouldn't need to finish my education because I'm not allowed to have a career!" Snape couldn't believe that. "That, my dear, is an utter waste of your talents!" She snorted indignantly. "You're telling me! But of course, I wouldn't have time for a career because he wants to have a Quidditch team's worth of children! It actually states a minimum of seven children! SEVEN! I think he actually wants to have a team he can coach. I'm sure he'd prefer fourteen children so his two teams could scrimmage! Seven kids! Now, I'm not vain, but what is that going to do to my body? I love her, but I don't want to end up like Molly! And he wants one within the first year! The law states that you have to produce an offspring within the first five years of marriage, and I was going to wait until the end! So I am more or less out of options. If I can't come up with a solution in a week, Fudge chooses whom I marry, and I just know he'll pick Lucius Malfoy. Fudge has got it in for me. This wasn't really about me supporting the law, this was about his revenge. I was just sitting in my common room, trying for the hundredth time to find a solution when it all just overwhelmed me and I stepped out to get some air, and the next things I know, you're pulling me up from the floor of the dungeons."

"Well, I'm sure Miss Granger, that it's not too late to marry Mr. Potter or Mr. Weasley, any of them. And did you say Draco offered to marry you, as in Draco Malfoy?" She nodded. "It was actually his idea I marry one of the three of them. When I refused, he accepted it, but made me promise I wouldn't marry his father and become his stepmother." Severus shook his head. That certainly sounded like Draco. "Originally, I refused them because they're better of marry some of the weaker witches. But now I realize I couldn't marry any of them. It would never work out. I'm awfully hard to live with you know. You weren't too far off the mark when you called me an insufferable know-it-all all those years ago. I'm also domineering and a bit obsessive. I can be a right bitch. No wonder all my marriage proposals suck." "Now really, you can't be all that bad. And I did apologize for the insufferable know-it-all comment and the teeth incident eventually. Well, if not any of them, what about Viktor Krum? Now that he plays for a team out of England, the law effects him too. He is a Pureblood, is he not?" She smiled sadly. "He is. And I would probably do just that if it weren't for one thing. You see we'd run into a problem because the law insists that the marriage must be consummated. And that would never happen." Severus was confused. "Why ever not?" She laughed. "Let's just say I'm not Viktor's…type." Seeing his confused look, she sighed. "Viktor is gay. We went to the Yule Ball as friends and when I went to Bulgaria that summer, it was because he wanted me to meet his older brother. Seemed to think we were soul mates or something. We just ended up friends. So, Viktor is not an option. Perhaps I'll just give up and marry Lucius, even though he wants to kill me. You know I don't die easily. Besides, if I go down, I'm taking him with me. I'd be doing the Wizarding World a service."

"You will do no such thing Miss Granger. There's no one in this school who would allow it! I'm sure there's another option, somewhere. You could always become a nun." She shook her head. "No, thought of that already. They disapprove of magic. Besides, my family isn't Catholic, we're Baptist." They sat in silence a moment, sipping their drinks and contemplating, when a thought hit Severus so hard, he choked on his Firewhiskey. Hermione asked, "Are you okay?" Coughing, he said, "I'm fine. But it just hit me. I'm going to have to get married too! I can't get married! Who'd want me? I'm horrible to live with!" Sensing his eminent break down, Hermione thought it best to leave.

She started to get up, but Snape stopped her. "No Miss Granger, stay. Here, have another drink. You need to relax for a little while. We both do." She settled back in the chair, and took the drink from him. "Now, didn't getting all that out make you feel better?" Hermione thought about this for a moment. "You know, it really did. That was exactly what I needed!" Snape gave her a smirk, then said, "Do you know what will make you feel even better?" She gave him a questioning look. "Plotting revenge against Fudge!" She laughed. "I'm serious! Back when I got too worked up when I was spying, I used to plot all he different ways I could humiliate and/or destroy everyone from Voldemort to Dumbledore. Try it, it's a great stress reliever! Besides, I now have eve more reason to despise Fudge." And so the two of them spent some time plotting against Fudge and various others who had caused them grief recently. Eventually the conversation turned to school, or more specifically, her old Potions class. She finally told him the story of her Polyjuice incident in her second year. He laughed at her mistake with the animal hair, but was still impressed that she had managed to correctly brew the potion when she was thirteen years old, though a little miffed that she'd stolen from his stores. He'd known there were ingredients missing, but he never suspected she'd been the one behind it. But it did make sense, after the fact. By the time they had exhausted themselves of conversation, about ten minutes remained till diner. Hermione had had just enough to drink so that she felt a slight buzz, but it didn't impair her. She thanked Professor Snape politely then went up to her dorm to see if she could find Harry, Ron and Draco. Surprisingly, she had found Snape to be a great conversationalist. He was smart, witty, and possessed a wicked sense of humor, when it wasn't directed at you. Somehow, she was feeling better than she had for the past week.

Severus couldn't believe how his afternoon had ended up. And perhaps the strangest thing was that he'd actually enjoyed it, except for the realization that he too would have to marry, or risk having his wand snapped in half. Miss Granger was sharp and they'd had some very pleasant conversations. He really felt bad for the predicament she'd ended up in. No one deserved that. He snorted. Seven children! The idea of it was absurd! She deserved much better than that buffoon! But time was running out for her. There had to be something he could do to help her! She deserved someone intelligent, someone who was on her thinking level, someone who she could converse with someone…

Severus saw the option that was open to him. But it was absurd! He'd not had near enough to drink to be making rash, drunken decisions. So apparently, his mind saw this as a feasible option. But it couldn't be. He was at least nineteen years her senior. It could never work out. But still…when he looked at her, he didn't see an eighteen-year-old. He saw a colleague, someone who could eventually be his equal. It was crazy, yes, but perhaps…perhaps it could just work. Severus sat down at his desk and picked up his quill before he lost his nerve. He quickly penned a letter and sent it off with a pop. He had taken the steps. The rest was up to her.

Dinner had been rather uneventful, but then again, when had diner ever been exciting? Hermione and her boys went back up to the Head's dorm to work on some homework—well, the boys had homework, Hermione was just the tutor. However after only about half an hour, she decided she was exhausted. She bid the boys goodnight then went to her room to do a bit of light reading before she went to sleep. Her day had been interesting, to say the least. She just needed a good night's sleep and she'd be ready to handle the mess again. She reached her room and had just changed into her favorite pair of flannel pajama pants (they were blue with little white rabbits all over them) and her white tank top. She pulled out her book on the theory of Charms when she heard a small pop beside her. She groaned. Just what she needed, another marriage contract. She thought about just leaving it till morning, but she figured it couldn't hurt to read it tonight. She didn't have to think about it until the morning. Slowly, she unrolled the parchment. A second piece of parchment with her name on it fluttered onto her bed. She left it for the moment as she read over the contract from…

No. She must be going crazy. It wasn't possible. And yet there it was, as plan as day, printed in front f her face. How much had they had to drink? She quickly read the contract. It was everything she wanted. But of course it was. Still in a state of disbelief, she picked up the other piece of parchment and opened it. Her mouth fell open in shock. If she was confused before, then there were no words to describe how she was feeling at that moment.

Miss Granger:

I'm sure this letter is coming to you as a bit of a shock. I must tell you it's coming as a shock to me as well. I hope you have read the contract I sent, and I hope it is to your liking. If you find any problems with it, they can easily be corrected. I assure you that when I took you to my office this afternoon, I had no intention of doing anything of this kind. However, the more I heard you speak of what you wanted, the more I realized you wanted what I wanted. I know it seems odd, but I found that we seemed to have a great deal in common. And so, I reasoned, a marriage between the two of us would be the best for both parties. I myself will be forced to marry as well. And, as I am sure you know, I am not the easiest man to get along with. I would be a right terror to most women. So, you would indeed be saving women who can not handle tougher wizards, as you've sworn to do. I feel that a union between us would benefit us both. I want to make it clear that I have never thought of you as anything other than a student. I find it morally repulsive to abuse one's status as a teacher and betray the trust a student shares with a teacher. And as said, I have never thought of you as anything other than a student. Until this afternoon. This afternoon, I saw you not as a student, but as a young woman, a colleague, someone who could one day be my equal. And so I am offering you my help as I would to any of my colleagues who were trouble. I hope that this leaves you with an option you feel is better fit than those before you. Please, take your time in considering this. As you know, wizarding marriages are indeed forever. And as I said, I am not an easy man to get along with. I'm harsh, a bit egotistical, sarcastic, cruel, demanding, solitary and rather anal-retentive. However I do believe you and I can make it work. Again, I urge to consider this thoroughly before making your decision.

Sincerely

Severus Snape,

She reread the letter, still not believing it. This could truly be her option out. No Death Eaters, no Quidditch team full of babies. She could finish her education and even get a job here at Hogwarts. In fact, the entire thing seemed too good to be true. She thought about the man she was considering. She could do much worse than Severus Snape, she supposed. He was handsome enough, once you got over his nose and his teeth and his hair. And he was certainly intelligent enough. And his voice was something else entirely! She'd never been one to have a crush on a professor (Lockhart didn't count that was more like ill placed hero-worship), but if she was she'd surely have one on her Potions Master. But then again, she didn't really see him as her Professor. Not since he'd taken that curse for her. But he was indeed hard to get along with, on his best days. It took some strong skin to handle him, even with his "new" attitude. But then again, she wasn't the greatest thing to live with either. He was right. They could end up making this work. She set the contract on her bedside table to consider again in the morning, and curled up to sleep, her heart feeling lighter than it had it a week.

The next morning Hermione awoke, her decision clear in her mind. There was only one thing left she had to do. She got dressed quickly and headed down to breakfast, contract in hand.

In stead of sitting at Gryffindor Table, she decided it was best to get this over with at the beginning of breakfast. She walked past her house table, her eyes glued the staff table. He stopped in front of Professor Snape—Severus, she should probably call him that now—and laid the contract down on the table before him. When she spoke, her voice was quiet, but the second people saw her heading for the Head Table, conversations had ceased. "Did you really mean this Severus, or is this some kind of twisted joke?" He looked up at her, his expression unreadable. "I meant it Hermione. I still do." "And are you sure you want this? This is your last chance to back out." His eyes softened, just a bit, when he realized how nervous this was making her. "Hermione, I'm not backing out. I'm willing to do this. The next step is up to you." At this point, the students were still in a sate of confusion, but the staff had finally figured out what was going on. Hermione nodded to him stiffly, then reached for a quill out of her bag. When Professor McGonagall had realized what she was about to do she jumped up and cried, "Hermione! Stop! Think about what you're…" But it was too late. Hermione had signed her name on the contract and it disappeared with a pop. She looked up a Severus. Their fate was sealed.