"Life is pleasant, death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." Isaac Asimov.
………
It was the saddest thing Greg had ever witnessed.
When shift started, Nick and Sara were laughing, happy. Nick had kissed her goodbye at the end of his shift, and had gone to pick up Lauren from ballet class. He had left the lab after explaining his plans for a movie night with his favorite girl, which had made Sara roll her eyes and push him out of the layout room where she and Greg were processing a double homicide.
They were so happy.
He remembered when Sara had told him that she and Nick were expecting. She had grinned broadly at him, and showed him the sonogram photo, without saying a word. He was glad that she had found a sliver of happiness. He was glad something so wonderful had come out of a night of drowning their sorrows over the single life with Jack Daniels. Greg only regretted that he had not had that night off, that Nick was Lauren's father, not him.
Greg shook his head, disgusted with his train of thought. Sara was happy. She had everything she could ever want. He didn't fit into her life, and he was going to be ok with that. He could settle with being wild and crazy Uncle Greg. He loved Lauren, even if she smiled back at him with Nick's grin, looked at him with Nick's eyes, giggled with him with Nick's laugh. Lauren, as beautiful as she was, was a constant reminder that Greg could never have Sara.
When Sara's phone rang, he didn't think anything of it, probably Nick or Lauren calling to check in.
He had driven her to Desert Palms, there was no way anyone in that lab was going to let her drive herself. The ER nurse who had tracked Sara down had assured her that Lauren was going to be fine, but did not give any specifics on Nick's condition. He had drove calmly, one of them had to be. She had curled up in the passenger seat, grasping his free hand tightly in both of hers in her lap for support.
He watched, now, as she ran the last stretch of hallway, gathering Lauren into her arms. Lauren, who escaped an enraged and jealous husband shooting his wife as she climbed out of her lover's car with a few bruises, still wearing her little pink leotard from ballet. Nick, however, was nowhere to be seen. Greg eased Lauren out of Sara's tight grip, settling her on his hip as a nurse made her way over to them.
"Ms. Sidle? Mr. Stokes has you listed as his emergency contact."
"Yes, that's me." Sara turned from Lauren to the portly nurse.
"Ms. Sidle, Mr. Stokes has sustained a GSW to the chest, he was stabilized by the paramedics who brought him in, but he crashed in the ER. The surgical team on call brought him up to the OR just a few minutes ago."
"Oh god." Sara reached for Greg, holding on to his arm. "Is he going to be alright?"
"We can't be sure." The nurse gave Sara a weary look before addressing Greg. "We'll let you know when Mr. Stokes is in recovery. Lauren here sustained no injuries past a few bruises and bumps." Greg nodded thanks, pressing a kiss to Lauren's head, and had lead Sara to a bench in the OR waiting room.
Nick would never come out of that OR room, the bullet had torn through his vascular artery, and when the surgeons had tried to repair it, they had only succeeded in tearing it further. He had died painlessly and unceremoniously, by a bullet meant for a cheating wife, standing across the street. The doctor had come in to tell them, and by that time, the whole of the night shift was there, with Lauren asleep in one of the chairs.
"Ms. Sidle?" Sara sat up from where she was curled in a ball against Greg, and lifted herself off the bench.
"Nick, how is Nick?" The desperation in her voice got Greg to his feet, ready to catch her when her knees gave way. "Where is he? Can I see him?" The surgeon pursed his lips together, and took a deep breath.
"I and my team did everything in our power to repair the damage to Mr. Stokes' vascular artery, but the tear was too large. There was nothing we could do for him. He died just a few minutes ago. I'm very sorry for your loss-" The rest of the words out of the older man's mouth were just that, words. Sara didn't hear any of them as her knees gave way and Greg's arms caught her, holding her tightly. He stopped listening to the doctor, and turned his attention toward Sara. Her one hundred and fifteen pounds felt heavy suddenly in his arms, and he tightened his grip on her waist. Slowly he watched her gain control of her knees again, and supported her as she stood up on her own. The room was silent, everyone, tears streaming down their faces, waiting for Sara.
Lauren was still asleep.
Sara gripped Greg's shoulder, steadied by his hands on her waist. She stepped out of his grasp, and came to kneel by her daughter. Sara blinked away the tears that were streaming down her cheeks, and reached out to brush away Lauren's bangs out of her eyes. Sara brought a hand to her mouth, closing her eyes in an attempt to compose herself. Greg's heart shattered as he watched Sara brush a finger along the side of her daughter's face. Sara pursed her lips, taking in Lauren's innocent composure, a mirror image of her father's expression in sleep, her soft, stick straight Stokes hair. No one said a word, everyone had turned to watch Sara, including the surgeon.
"Lauren." Sara touched the little girl's arm, trying desperately to keep her tone even. "Lauren, honey." Lauren Stokes shifted slightly, groaning.
"Mumma." Her eyes fluttered open quickly as she remembered where she was. "Mumma?" Lauren sleepily rubbed her eyes, and sat up. "Where's Daddy?" Sara pressed a kiss to Lauren's disheveled hair, and laid a hand to the side of her face. Panic flashed through Lauren's dark brown Stokes eyes. Lauren watched her mother's lip quiver, and when she looked back at Sara, she knew where Nick was.
"Lauren, I-"
"Daddy." Lauren blinked the tears that had gathered in her eyes, speaking in a shaky voice. "Daddy's not here anymore." Sara collapsed, crying into Lauren's lap. Lauren stroked Sara's hair gently, sobbing herself. Greg tore his eyes away from mother and daughter, to see Catherine clinging to Warrick, whose shoulders shook gently. Grissom's eyes were red as he talked on his phone to who Greg imagined was one of Nick's parents. Brass was seated in one of the chairs, head in his hands, breathing slowly. The surgeon had backed out a few moments ago, and suddenly Greg felt alone. The sense that Nick would enter the room any second seared through him, but Greg shook it off, wiping his eyes. His gaze found Lauren, who had raised her head, and had scanned the room, stopping at him.
"Uncle Greg." Her voice came out as a whisper, and he was pulled out of his thoughts by it. Lauren bent and kissed her mother's curls, then reached up, extending her arms as if to ask Greg to pick her up. Greg closed the distance between himself and Lauren, and gently lifted her from the chair, as Sara sat back on her heels, tears still streaming down her cheeks. Lauren Stokes wrapped her arms tightly around Greg's neck, and her legs around Greg's waist. Greg held her tightly, rubbing his hand up and down the back of her pale pink leotard she was still wearing soothingly. A nurse quietly entered the room behind Greg, and he turned to face the door.
"Mrs. Stokes?" Sara stood, taking Warrick's hand when he offered it to pull herself to her feet. She choked back a sob, and wiped her eyes quickly.
"That's me. I would have been." Sara spoke quietly, turning to look at the nurse for the first time.
"Dr. Harris said you would want to see Mr. Stokes." Sara nodded, and glanced at Greg. Lauren lifted her head from Greg's shoulder, and wiped her eyes.
"Mumma? Tell Daddy I love him." Lauren's little voice hitched, and she buried her face in Greg's shoulder, quiet sobs racking her slight little frame. Greg paid little attention to the others in the room, concentrating on soothing Lauren gently. He ducked out of the waiting room, opting instead for pacing up and down the corridor, waiting for Sara to return.
Sara. His first instinct was to go with her, catch her when she collapsed in grief. But Lauren had reached out for him, and the last thing he wanted to go was intrude on Nick and Sara's last private moments. He pressed a kiss to Lauren's hair, tightening his grasp on her as she tightened her hold around his neck, matting the shoulder of his tee shirt down with her tears. Through a window on one side of the hallway, he could see inside the waiting room. Warrick sat on the edge of the couch, head in his hands, shoulder's shaking with every tear the man shed, Catherine beside him. Greg turned away from the window before anyone saw him, and wandered a ways down the hall, coming to stand at the swinging doors that separated the OR from the corridor. On the other side of that door, the love of his life was grieving over the love of hers, alone.
………
A/N: more to come… will eventually be SaraGreg, I promise. Exploring Nicky in an unconventional manner… sorry about killing him off