A.N i know, i know...i give you permission to kill me. truth is, my health hasn't really been on par and i've been in and out of the hospital. forgive me...but i'll kick start the new year with this chappy. i promise a new chappy or two by the end of the month. oh, i suggest you read chapter 24. please, R&R.

heartaspr.

Chapter 25

Hermione's Thoughts

"Minerva," I call as I stand behind the heavy wooden doors of the Headmistress' office. The doors open and a cheery Headmistress greets me. I smile in return.

"Come in Hermione, we have much to discuss," she tells me. We do? I thought all the matters we needed to discuss and doctor were done in the morning when Severus and I went to her quarters – the very same quarters I am summoned to now. I hide my confusion as I approach the chairs that stand in front of her table.

"Tea?" the Headmistress offers.

"Yes please,"

There is silence as she pours both her and I a cup of her freshly brewed tea. I don't know what to say, I don't even know why I'm being summoned.

"You know," Minerva starts, "you are truly a brilliant and magnificent young lady."

Oh dear, it's not even 10 minutes into the conversation and I can already feel myself blushing. Is Minerva really trying to embarrass me?

"You flatter me Headmistress," I respond.

"Oh no," she chuckles, "I'm being rather serious. I still remember how bushy and wild your hair was in your first and second year here at Hogwarts as a student. You've grown into a fine woman, and I have been blessed to be one of many who have the privilege of witnessing you grow up," she pauses and looks at me sternly, "I know I'm not the only one who is admiring you from afar."

I'm startled. What on earth is she talking about? Oh God, my cheeks are really turning red.

"Wha-what are you talking about Headmistress?"

"Oh Hermione come off it, you know exactly what I'm talking about,"

We're quiet now. Minerva stands up and 'rounds her polished wooden desk. She sits on the desk in front of me and I look up at her. I've always admired her. She always had a very motherly side to her yet she came across to you as stiff and as strict as a wooden board. I remember the time in my first year while I was at Hogwarts – Halloween, and I was in the girl's lavatory crying my eyes out when a huge troll came waltzing in as if it knew I was in there. Of course, although it pains me to say it, if it wasn't for Harry and Ron I would've been dead by now – I do like to think that with my unending knowledge I'd be able to handle such a stupid troll. And then Professor McGonagall came running in and I could see the anger and concern in her eyes. She scolded us as if were her own children, "You could've been killed!" I smile. She always had her odd little way of showing how much she cared for Harry, Ron and I. If I remember correctly, Professor Snape had also made his presence recognizable during the night of the troll incident. He did look like he was concerned for us – me. Oh, I should stop this. Of course he wasn't concerned for me; it was his job to check to see if everyone was alright. But why did he so conveniently come into the girl's lavatory when he probably knew I was in there. Oh Hermione, of course he didn't know you were in there. He probably came in because he saw the Headmistress there and Professor Quirrell.

"Hermione," the Headmistress calls.

"Hmm?"

"I've spoken to Professor Snape. He has spoken to me of the events prior today and he is deeply sorry and he says he feels regret," she explains.

Ah, so this is what she has summoned me for.

"Can such a man feel such things?" I say and I turn my head away.

"Now, now Hermione, you don't mean that. You know his true colours; you know how he truly is,"

"Do I Headmistress? He is ever so talented in the art of act. How do I know he wasn't just acting or showing me what I wanted to see so that I'll get off his back?"

"Hermione," she's staring at me sternly now. I know I'm getting her angry and agitated – she cares immensely for Snape, "I can say with utter confidence that Severus Snape does not shed tears and break down for the sake of pleasing and satisfying another. He is simply not the type – trust me, it has taken years since he graced me with some salty tears that fall from those eyes of his," she replied.

I look at her and I melt down. I can't help it, I can't stand these feelings anymore; they're too much for me. I need someone to tell this to, someone to share my burden.

"Headmistress, I'm sorry, it's just, I-I don't know, I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so confused, and I'm so hurt. I don't know what to do; I don't know what to think. I try to keep my head up, really I do. I don't try to show everyone I'm in distress. Merlin, I don't even know why I'm in distress. Why should I care? But I do care, I do. I care so much for him, I understand what he needs and I want to give him what he needs but he always pushes me away. When I feel I'm so close, I look again and really, I'm so far from him. It's like during the night, while I'm asleep - when I'm not looking, it's like he secretly gets up from the spot that I've left him at and moves further away from me. And when I wake up, I can't see him, he's too far – too distant. And then I start to wonder, 'Was it me? Did I do something? Had I said something the night before? Or did I not do something? Was I supposed to have said something I didn't say? Was I supposed to have done something I didn't do?' I've given him everything and more. I've given him my time, my patience, my care, my love, everything. What more can I give him? What more does he want from me? Headmistress, I'm going mad – insane. Headmistress," I look up at her in desperation, "help me."

The Headmistress' eyes soften and she holds out her hand to take mine. I lean in towards her and I hold onto her like a baby clinging onto her mother. I start to sob and she rubs my back.

"Hermione dear, I can only begin to fathom how you feel. You are a strong girl and a very brave one if I might add. It's not everyday a young lady decides to take on the task of taming and helping the most feared Potions Master. It's not a wonder why many people envy you. Hermione, look at me, look at me. Listen, I know it's hard, but I know this is the right thing for him – I know you are the right person for him. No one would be able to take on this task as professionally as you do. It is also hard for him, trust me. He is not used to someone caring for him. Most of all, he's afraid. He distances himself from people who try to bring themselves closer to him because he's afraid that one day – someday, they'd leave him and he'd rather have refrain that loss from happening by being so cold and cruel than to have fallen for the trap and have that person be so cruelly and painfully seized from him. Be gentle with him – cautious. Don't try and force yourself onto him, take it a step at a time. Let him come to you at times – he will, trust me. If he needs something or someone, he will go to them, however painful it is for him, he went to Albus didn't he, and Merlin knows how hard that had to be for him."

I chuckle and I wipe away my tears. At least the Headmistress is supporting me.

"Thank you," I whisper.

She smiles. Headmistress' face really does look beautiful when she smiles.

"Now, with that being said, I daresay Severus does deserve some sort of punishment, don't you agree?" she says and gives me a wink.

I prop up, "I could not have said it better myself, Headmistress."

"And to think I have just the plan too! You see, there have been a few requests for a Valentine's Day dance this year, I was wondering if you'd like to be in charge of it. You'd be able to decide anything you like, I give you my consent already, all I ask is this; please do let your imagination run wild, even if you must invite a certain, oh shall we say, bat-like vampire to the dance and to help you do some of your chores, by all means do so," and she gives me another wink.

I laugh; I know just the thing to get Snape. Who knows, I might even be able to get him to get himself a new set of dress robes – green perhaps, and it gives me an excuse to get myself some new dress robes too! I get up from my seat, thank the Headmistress again and leave her quarters. Before I leave though she says, "He will return your love and care in due time, I'm sure of it," It leaves me with a hopeful heart.

Dinnertime, I do hope Severus will show up, I have a surprise for him. I finish marking the last of the 3rd years' tests and place my quill in its holder. I turn to the check the time and it says 5:25 p.m. Five minutes early and I shrug and start to make my way to the Great Hall for dinner.

As I sit at my seat at the front of the Great Hall I look around and I start to think. What or how will Severus react? And I smile. I can only imagine the look on his face. I only have one word to describe it – dumbfounded. And my smile widens. He would just be staring at me in total loss for words and I will just be smiling back innocently, perhaps even giving a small teasing wave. I start to chuckle. Apparently my chuckle is a bit too loud because Draco turns his head and looks at me questioningly.

"What's so funny?" he asks.

"Hmm, oh, nothing," I reply.

"Where were you today? I went to your quarters to try and find you to see if you wanted to go take a walk with me today."

"Oh, I was busy, sorry."

"Busy?" he asks.

YES BUSY! JESUS, MUST HE BE SO PERSISTANT?

"Yes, I was busy tending to matters," I say politely.

Ah, it is time. Severus has taken his seat and the Headmistress is ready to start the dinner.

"Students," she starts. She only says it once more to get their attention, "Thank you. As you all know, we are now in the second week of January and Valentine's Day is soon to be here. There have been requests from certain students for a Valentine's Day dance and I have decided to arrange one," she pauses professionally knowing that students will start discussing this amongst themselves.

"As most of you know, Valentine's Day falls on a Saturday this year so no classes will be missed or skipped," the Headmistress declares. Another set of groans can be heard. I smirk and snicker. "I have put Professor Granger here in charge of the Valentine's Day Dance. Please allow a few minutes of our dinner time to hear her speak," McGonagall finishes.

"Hi," I start, "I know you all are hungry so I'll keep it short and sweet. I will allow eight other people to volunteer to help out with this dance. Unfortunately, only 5th, 6th, and 7th years are allowed to participate in the dance. 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th years will have a dinner instead," I too pause so another chorus of groans and disapprovals can start and finish.

"Also – I promise this is the last bit of information until we finish our dinners – Professor Snape is to be the other teacher who will be helping me with this dance," I turn to look at Severus to see his reaction. Dumbfounded; exactly as I have foreseen and I start to chuckle to myself. I'm careful though as to not letting other people see me as amused as I am. I give myself a moment before I recollect my composure and continue.

"There are a few dances everyone needs to learn, so Professor McGonagall and I have made a schedule. Every Saturdays and Sundays will be for dance practice. Professor Snape and I will be making the schedules for the Houses and will be giving them to the Heads of House, which will further then be posted in your dormitories. Professor Snape and I will also be teaching you how to dance," I finish and I take my seat.

Dinner, I must say, was quite eventful. I close the door to my quarters and I take my shawl off. I am rather tired though. I am ready to make my way to my lavatory when I hear a small knock on the door.

Yes?" I call.

"My I come in Professor Granger?" the voice asks politely.

"Certainly, Professor Snape," I reply.

Professor Snape waltzes into my bedroom.

"Professor," he says and bows. I'm eyeing him suspiciously as if I expect him to hex me at any minute.

"Professor," I answer.

He walks over to my armchair as I prepare some tea for us.

"May I?" he asks as he points to the armchair.

"You may," I reply and I place the teacups and teapot on the coffee table. "How may I help you?" I ask.

He takes in a deep breath and he begins.