oO
Internet Perditions 10 (Fluffy protest to... uuuuh...)
Kakashi had been elected to take the lead, Pakkun ahead of him, and Iruka in the rear. To either side, Naruto and Sasuke.
The air was damp with not only condensation, but apprehension. The tension shared between the four shinobi only heightened when Pakkun gave a triumphant little grunt from the lead.
"What is it?" Kakashi murmured to his pup, Sharingan aching to be released from the hitai-ate.
"We're getting closer. The artist is near."
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After the Iruka-Anko school incident, all hell had broken loose. Iruka took his job, and his many children very seriously. How often had he gotten on Kakashi's case about reading Icha Icha in front of children? And there weren't any pictures involved even! The Copy-nin had been pelted, punched, pummeled, and threatened with lack of Umino ass, more times than he could count. All because of lewd words. To place a lewd picture in every classroom at the academy was suicide.
Naruto and Sasuke had quickly agreed to the search party, and to the severe berating they would be given by Tsunade upon returning home. To waste shinobi time was to waste the Hokage's time, something the blonde woman didn't appreciate.
"How close?"
"Few miles." Pakkun rumbled, eyes lazily regarding each tree limb as it passed beneath his feet.
"Right." Iruka dropped back into formation again, watching the tail end of his lover flex with every leap. As he traveled, his mind began to prepare for the onslaught to come. A fight? A confrontation? A chase? Perhaps just a severe warning to some well informed teenager or something. He wasn't sure, but the fact that he was doing this inane mission eluded his better judgement for a moment or two.
Iruka only need recall the very personal picture taped to his chair. What audacious freak would so freely draw lewd pictures of powerful shinobi? The question began a small snow storm for the pre-gennin teacher. This artist, so dauntless, unfearing of the consequences. Did that mean he was a powerful shinobi perhaps? Was it Jiraiya-sama?! For a moment the chuunin turned three shades of purple and choked on his saliva. No no, it couldn't be. Kakashi would have known for sure. There's no way that pervert-san could draw an obscene picture anyway, he'd nose bleed all over it before he got a chance to finish. Not everypowerful pervert shinobi was Jiraiya-sama anyway. There were others.
Not that Iruka could drag any to the front of his mind without rationale shooting the option down. There was Genma, a well known closet pervert to anyone unfortunate enough to stand beside him for more than ten minutes (a resulting grope was occasioned). Genma, though perverted as he be, was no artist. Iruka could attest. The doodles that the special jounin often scribbled on Iruka's clean white calender on his desk were terrible. Genma couldn't even doodle much less sketch and draw and create a sex scene. In fact, he couldn't even draw the external female sexual organ, and there wasn't a whole lot that needed be on the paper. Genma was out of the question.
Kotetsu, now he was the most unexpected, but Iruka had once spied him drawing the scenery out the window and nearly shouted with amazement. The man was a closet-artist, but was he a closet pervert? A question Iruka hoped to heaven and earth would not be answered in the moments to come. There was a rumor about the bandage on his nose; that he kept him from nose bleeding. Iruka thought it was just a silly rumor... til now. Was it there so he didn't nose bleed on his art?!
"Iruka," A firm voice dragged him from his reverie. "You're not focusing." Kakashi had dropped back in the formation slightly, "What's on your mind?"
The milk chocolate colored chunnin puffed his chest out to brave his fears. "I was just thinking it might be someone unexpected, someone we know. Wouldn't that be awful?" A sweeping gaze trailed a slightly sorrowful hint. "You know?"
Kakashi tried not to snort in amusement. "Someone we know, Iruka? How else would they-!" Kakashi halted with the speed and precision only a jounin had. In turn, the chuunin behind him crashed into him with a full body tackle. Kakashi grunted, but held his footing on the tree branch.
Iruka, the tree branch he had been aiming for occupied by some jackass jounin, fell straight down after the collision and into a pile of soft crunchy leaflets.
A verbal onslaught of Umino terror began to spew from fifty feet below, but suddenly each shinboi went quiet. Sasuke and Naruto gathered, but neither spoke.
Pictures littered the forest.
Hundreds of them.
Sketches, doodles, full color drawings; there had to be at least five hundred. Many were copies or the same scene drawn several different ways, but they plastered one hundred square feet of jungle. Iruka lifted a foot to peer at the drawings he had landed in. His foot, incidentally, had been covering up the lewd bits of Gaara raping Sasuke with a sand clone. His other foot was stepping on Sakura's face, which was contorted in a strange cross-eyed look of pleasure as Gai, of all people, pounded her from behind.
Iruka felt dirty.
He felt so dirty.
"S-s-s-s-s-s-!" Naruto was stuttering and trying not to touch anything. He was staring at one particular picture, attached to the tree with a shuriken. It was of himself, with five of his clones all pleasuring each other at once. "Sasuke, uuuuh... I've never done that before." he turned bright red and shook his head vigorously. "I swear."
Sasuke only cast him a few moments of 'I'm not sure I believe you' before noticing Itachi's recognizable face on a sketch not far from Naruto's head. "Aaaah!" Sasuke yelled at the tree and bolted forward, ripping the picture from the limb. "Why are there so many of me and Itachi?!" He snapped. "Haven't we already seen this one? Why is it here again?" He waved it at Kakashi indignantly.
Kakashi was cowering in his own mental throws of pain. Who would do that? Who would draw on Obita/Rin/Kakashi threesome? His throat choked up as a certain nerve was struck. Something more heartening lifted him though, as the Umino on the ground screeched.
"I would never do a threesome with Genma and Raidoh!" He bellowed and stomped on a picture not far from his left foot. More stomping continued until he was standing in the center of one large circle of brown foot prints. He noticed one of Neji on Sasuke just before stomping the picture an inevitable demise.
"ARG!" Naruto exploded, collecting several pictures, "My sexy jutsu! It's everywhere! Tsunade-baa-chan?! Me and Tsunade-granny?! Aaah!" He tore through another one, then relaxed just slightly. "Oh, hey, this one isn't so bad."
The group turned their eyes on him in surprise. Not so bad? He found an acceptable picture among this land of gut wrenching porn?
Sasuke peered at the image. It was clearly Naruto in Sexy no Jutsu, giving head to some unrecognizable person. "Well, at least we can't see who it is, right?" The optimism was soaked in molasses.
"Wait." Kakashi leaned around the couple to look at the back of the image, "Actually, the reverse side is part of the image.
The paper flipped around in Naruto's hand, eyes being graced with the back of Sexu Jutsu Narutos' head, and Sharingan eyes grinning with pleasurable spite. "Aug! It's Itachi!" Sasuke snatched the picture away and tore it to small snowflake sized pieces.
"This is ridiculous!" Iruka finally bellowed from the grounds below. "Pakkun!"
"Ueer," The pug was staring at a picture that depicted his master in a very intimate act with at least six kunoichi. And, what was this? Pakkun himself was in the background! He stared closer. And he had... something... between his legs?
"Pakkun!" Kakashi snapped, bringing the dog to a flustered but attentive stance. "Where is the artist?"
"Smell is everywhere. And it's more than one! I smell that first scent, the pervert one, and then I smell all kinds of others. There was a gathering here." he explained, nose upturned to the Fire country winds that brought him his information. "They've left this place for sure." He informed, trying desperately not to cast a glance at the image with himself depicted in the corner.
Kakashi scowled, single visible eye darkened with the depths of anger. "This isn't over yet."
...why? Why isn't it over yet?
I apologize for the long absence. I really do. What spurred me to write this was an update from tampoposensei (I know a bunch of you got the same update). XD So I was in the kakairu mood and decided to head back to the "cliff hanger." That, and another driving force was someone posted my story somewhere (no idea where) and I got a flood of reviews. It made me super happy. XD Thank you so much for the loves! Now I need fluff. Progression of Love needs updating, too, doesn't it? Hmmm...
-Lotus Aia