Summary: Takao offers love, while Kai offers passion. Stuck in the middle is Rei, who can find both in neither. Stability or desire? And with Rei fast falling for one of them, his choice is about to get more difficult. Taka+Rei, KaixRei
Notes: Okay, so I'll probably loose a karejillion fans, but yes, this has got TakaRei-ness. Of course, this is me we're on about, so yes, of COURSE there's going to be KaRe too. Because it's damn well perfect in my eyes. However, I wanted to try my hand at TakaRei, because, though I denied it for a while, I actually… like it xD; This will be KaixRei centric.
Please give it a chance.
Great thank you goes to "Mourir" for talking about this idea with me and on how great Takao x Rei x Kai love- trianglage would be (among many other things. Mostly Rei's arse and other such fun things… love you, babe XD!) and for helping me out so much.
Dedlication this time goes to "Yazzy", for being so kind to me when I needed it and for just being so… great. Also now, as the chapters roll on, for unwittingly becoming my beta xD; lovelovelove. Muchas gracias, dear, xx.
Rei's first reaction was the freeze. He didn't know what else to do, and while it was extremely rude of him, he couldn't help but stare.
"Rei?" Takao sounded almost frightened, which was a first for both of them, at any other time Rei would have rushed over to fold him into a reassuring hug, but now… "Rei… I'm sorry, but I had to tell you. Please don't hate me." Takao pleaded.
Rei shook himself from his stupor, finally noticing the tears gathering in his younger team-mate's eyes. He sighed heavily. "Takao, I could never hate you. You know that."
"Bu-but, you haven't said anything." The other responded quietly.
Rei blinked and swallowed harshly. "It's…it's not that I don't..." Rei sighed again and looked away. "Takao, no one's ever told me that they love me before. I'm sorry that I'm not reacting how you wanted me to, but I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. I care about you so much, I just… I just don't… know." He trailed off pathetically.
Takao nodded sadly. "Is it because I'm a guy?"
Rei raised his gaze from the floor to take up the other boys stare. His heart wrenched when Takao looked away. "I… I don't think it is, Takao." His companion's eyes flickered back up to his face, glimmering with faint hope. "In fact, I'm pretty sure that it's not. It's just that… I've never had anyone interested in me before and I don't know how I should act. I'm completely new to all of this and I just don't know what to do. Please don't think that it's you or that it would be different with anyone else in the world. I just don't know what to do."
Takao grinned at that. "For all of your travels around the world, you really are just a simple village boy at heart, aren't you, Rei?"
"Hey! I resent that." Rei argued, smiling despite himself.
Takao's grin faded to a pleasant smile. "As to the 'no one's ever been interested in me' thing, Rei, there's a very long queue behind me waiting to tell you how perfect you are. You're absolutely gorgeous and you're kind, brave and smart. You have the most wonderful personality ever and you're almost as good at blading as I am. I'm just the first person to have the guts to tell you, but then, I am me."
Rei couldn't help but laugh at that, blushing from Takao's appraisal. "Yes, big headed." Takao stuck his tongue out childishly. Rei smiled again. "You don't have to be so nice to me though. I'm really not special in any way."
Takao shook his head and rolled his eyes. "I thought you were supposed to have good vision," He stepped forwards, closing the distance between Rei and himself just a little bit. "But Rei, you're not looking in the mirror and seeing what everyone else sees. I want to do something about that." He said seriously.
Rei suddenly felt a little nervous, unused to seeing Takao act so seriously, or think about what he was saying. He suddenly seemed more grown up, and that threw Rei off quite badly. "In what way?"
Takao stepped forwards again. "By telling you every day, if I can." A cheeky smile suddenly found its way to his lips. "Or, failing that, I'll get you a better mirror."
The heavy atmosphere broke, and Rei found himself smiling once more. "All right then, if you insist." His smile turned sympathetic. "Could you… maybe give this 'simple village boy' a little time to think on this?"
Takao's smile faltered a touch and suddenly he looked a little unsure. The moment passed and he sighed, smiling again, kindness radiating from his deep brown eyes. "Sure, take all the time you need." He made his way towards Rei and pulled him into a quick and slightly awkward hug, before releasing him with a bright smile and making his way out of the room.
'I love you.'
Rei had been honest when he had said that no one had uttered those words to him before.
Chinese families weren't especially known for overt displays of affection, especially not within the tribal situation of his home. It didn't help that he didn't exactly have a family to start with. Sure… plenty of people had told them that they liked him, but love…
'I love you.'
He shook his head. What was love? From everything that he'd heard it was some magical, cherished, beautiful thing. People craved it… people died for it.
And yet… he had no idea what it was. How should he feel? Was it possible that he loved Takao in return? Could he?
Rei sighed, resting his head back against his pillows, staring at the ceiling with amber eyes dulled with worry. His mind whirred, trying to put together any moments from memory that would have given away Takao's feelings, but yet none came to mind. Takao was friendly to everyone. He always had a smile ready, even for enemies. Sure, he doted on Rei, but he doted on Max! He doted on Kyoujyu and Kai… okay, maybe not Kai, but every one of his friends, Takao openly adored.
How was he any different?
He was just… him. He honestly saw nothing special, other than an average looking boy with feline like features. He was poor and uneducated. The only thing that set him apart was that he was a good blader, and even then he wasn't the best. He sighed to himself, rolling onto his side and pressing his face into the cool, unused part of his pillow.
'I love you.'
He squeezed his eyes shut, groaning softly. What should he do? Takao had told him something that took all his courage. He couldn't throw that back in his face, but… but Takao was his friend. Takao was like a younger brother. Someone he wanted to protect and guide. Could he be with him? Wouldn't Takao expect… things of him? Actions… emotions…
Emotions he was fairly sure he didn't have. As for sexual attraction, it just wasn't… there. Despite being male, sex was really something that Rei didn't think of.
Unbidden, a strong, pale and handsome face, graced with piercing blood-like eyes leapt into this mind, staring at him accusingly.
That was a lie. Rei did think of sex. Mostly at night, when he was alone in the darkness of his room with only his thoughts and the soft, soft sounds of deep breathing coming from the bed adjacent to his. Unwittingly, his eyes slid to the other figure, yellow irises following the steady rise and fall of the solid chest.
It was a familiar, but secret emotion. Lust. It was such a basic, primeval thing and he knew from what many said that it did not equate to love, but without that lust, could love- the kind shared by lovers, like in the books and the movies, the kind dreamed of by millions around the world- exist?
And if he knew one thing, he knew that he did not lust after Takao.
He sighed, a dejected sound and rolled onto his other side, turning his back to his roommate as if that would help him clear his mind.
After Takao's… admission of feelings…the day had gone on as normal. They had cleaned up the dojo, Kai had taken Rei off to practice some teamwork moves and then Rei had come back, cooked dinner with Hiromi, eaten, watched television and then gone to bed. Rei had known all along that as soon as he stopped, he'd have nothing other to do but think on Takao's words. After half an hour of staring at the wall, he had gotten up to take a warm shower, hoping that it could soothe him or give him more clarity. It had helped… barely, but at least it gave him another task in the morning to take his mind off his predicament. Kai had come into their room sometime during his shower, his relaxed expression and soft breath telling Rei that he didn't have to worry about Kai picking up on his troubled thoughts.
And so, he had climbed into bed and had been immediately set upon by nagging fears and persistent questions. Nothing had changed in the three hours he had been lying there. The moment of understanding never came, and still he tossed and turned, waiting for sleep or even better, for an answer.
Still none came.
Sighing, he shifted onto his other side and cast tired eyes upon the luminous red digits of his bedside clock. "3:12" The whisper escaped him, shaping into a quiet groan as Rei twisted onto his stomach and buried his face in the pillows. Lying still, he waited desperately for sleep. Rei hoped it would come soon, or else he would be exhausted by the next evening. He also hoped that when he woke up, he'd somehow miraculously have the answer to all of his worries in the morning.
And finally he hoped, that just for once, he wouldn't dream of Kai Hiwatari.
The first thing he was aware of was warmth upon his arm. That was followed by the realisation that he was being swayed back and forth.
He moaned in protest and shifted away, snuggling deeper into warm comfort. Distantly he heard a sigh before he felt himself self being shaken once more.
"Rei. Rei!" A quiet voice drifted into his sleep-addled mind, making him groan softly in defence. "Rei, wake up! Damn it, Rei, I need you up."
Hesitantly, Rei slid open a dull yellow eye, hesitantly blinking up at the source of annoyance. His eyes widened as much as they could in his tired state, as he finally realised that his team captain was looming over him. "Kai…? What? Why are you-" he broke off as a yawn pulled itself from his body almost forcefully. He flushed delicately in brief embarrassment, before continuing. "What's the matter? Why are you waking me?"
Kai frowned, displeased with the relentless questioning, but let it pass knowing how sleepy the younger one was. "I woke you up because it's quarter past ten, Rei."
"Quarter past ten?" Rei burst, sitting up suddenly in shock. What was this? He hadn't slept past half eight in seven years!
"Yes, Rei, that's why I woke you. Everyone's worried that you're ill and Takao's moping about like it's the end of the world just because he didn't get a lie in like you did." Kai muttered, folding his arms across his chest.
"And you let me sleep in?" Rei asked, confused as to why Kai had hesitated in rousing him at the normal time of nine am.
Kai paused for a moment to regard the dazed lad before him, before he sighed. "Because I know that you barely slept last night. I could hear you tossing and turning until the early hours of the morning."
Rei felt a blush arise, feeling guilty. "You were awake?" He asked quietly.
Kai shrugged, turning to walk away. "I'm a light sleeper, you know that." He answered dismissively. He paused at the door, turning to look back at Rei. " Hurry up with your hair, we're training down by the shore today." He turned away and opened the door, but hesitated once again. "Look Rei. Whatever's on your mind, sort it out. I don't need you having issues next tournament, got it?"
Rei looked down at the bed covers, nodding even though he knew that Kai had left the room without a backwards glance. Harsh as the words were and despite the fact that Kai's lack of regard for him as a human rather than a tool of 'The Team' stinging like it usually did, Rei had to agree. He needed to sort this out. By the sounds of things, Takao had taken Rei's staying in bed to be some kind of avoidance, and possibly rejection.
Was he going to reject Takao?
Rei reached out for his brush, frowning as he began to run it through his long, pitch-dark tresses. He didn't want to break Takao's heart. He cared about him and if it were anyone other than him doing the heartbreaking, he would have personally gone to have a serious chat with the 'other party.'
His strokes increased in force as he felt familiar frustration build up in him. Someone loved him. Takao loved him. Takao wanted him to be near him, and wanted to spend his sacred, meaningful moments with him. He wanted Rei for who he was. Wanted to hold him when Rei needed it, make him smile when he was down, make him happy and complete. Takao wanted to do that for him and Rei was so, so tired of being alone.
The brush slowed. He was frightened of being alone. The realisation left him feeling cold and almost… empty. All his life he had been trying to prove that he was worth something, so that somebody could just make him feel needed. Truly needed. Takao was the one who needed him. He had seen it in his chocolate coloured eyes, honest and sincere need, calling out for him desperately. He could be with Takao; he could fulfil that desire and be someone sacred for the first time in his life. There remained only one question:
Did he love Takao?
He felt guilt pull at him. No, he did not love Takao, not in the way he wanted him to at least.
Could he love him?
It was hard not to. Takao was a fun, warm hearted and affectionate boy, and aesthetically, he wasn't exactly displeasing to look at... but no matter how much Rei tried, he couldn't think of him in that way. To him, lust and Takao were foreign to one another and without the lust, there would be no passion and without that… there was no love.
Drawing his hands away from hair he had bound unconsciously, he pushed himself up from his bed, following his usual routine of getting dressed, washing his face and brushing his teeth, clinging to the familiarity of those actions to calm his worries. When he was done and he had reclaimed his blade, he made to move towards the door, but instead, paused before the full-length mirror, staring at his reflection in the mirror.
What could possibly be so special about him?
He let his hand drop from where it had moved to his cheek, and simply stared at what he found to be the most unremarkable person in the world. He wasn't worth heartache… and he wasn't worth Takao. He bit his lip, agonising over what he could do.
He closed his eyes and sighed heavily, before reopening them, finding determined citrine staring back.
Decision made, he turned away from the glass and left the room.
"GENBU!" The familiar war cry of Max Mizuhara carried over the whispering sound of waves. Feeling a smile pull at his lips, he moved onwards, and as he breached the top of the steps leading down towards the sand. Max looked up, catching sight of him as he descended. His freckled face broke into a wide grin and he waved. "Hey, Rei!"
Immediately, three faces turned to him. Kai sent him a quick glance before he stared back at Max. "Max! Concentrate." He snapped, jolting Max's attention back to his blade, throwing himself into his attack on Kai's blade. Rei smiled at that, before his eyes locked onto deep brown.
Takao blushed and looked away, causing a guilty tug at Rei's heart. Biting back a sigh, Rei carried on walking, stopping only when he stood at the dishes side.
Glancing about at his friends, Rei opened his mouth to talk. "It's about time you showed up, Rei." He closed his mouth and turned to the one who had jumped in before him. Kai looked torn between bored and annoyed. "Never mind. You'll be going up against Max next."
"But, Kai. I need—"
"To get training. Now. Unless you plan on being sloppy this tournament?" Kai interrupted.
Rei coloured at Kai's insult and puffed his cheeks out. "Whatever." He muttered in a rare display of petulance. This was not lost on Kai, whose eyes narrowed yet more in response, as if challenging Rei to say more. Rei ignored him and turned his attention onto the beydish, launching his blade as soon as Kai's had left the dish. Max looked confused at the lack of a countdown, and launched just after.
The two blades circled one another, occasionally clashing. Max watched the exchanging of blows with devoted single-mindedness, but Rei's attentions, however, were divided. His eyes rested on his blade for only a moment before they flickered back up to Takao who was still doing everything in his power to avoid looking at him. Rei couldn't help but sigh, worrying once again.
Rei's lacklustre performance did not go unnoticed by the rest of his team. Max sent a confused glance to Kai, who merely looked unimpressed back and offered him a nod. Taking that as his cue, Max readied himself.
"Draciel! Attack!" He called out.
His cry finally alerted Rei, snapping him out of his dream-like state. "Ah! Drigger!" he tried to defend, but it was too late. Without even needing to summon Genbu, Max's blade clipped Rei's and sent it tumbling onto the sand.
Rei blinked, looking as if he had only just remembered that he had been blading as he stared down at his blade in a daze.
"Wow, Rei… are you sick? I mean the sleeping in and all… are you okay?" Max asked, blue eyes wide and concerned.
"Go back to bed, Rei. You're obviously of no use to us today." Kai interjected.
Rei frowned, angered by yet another of Kai's jibes. Leaning down to reclaim his blade, Rei brushed the sand off before pocketing it. "Thank you for your concern, Kai, but I need to talk to Takao."
Takao's head shot up at the mention of his name, a light flush upon his cheeks. Kai crossed his arms, looking at the two with narrowed eyes. Rei gave him a challenging glare back, thoroughly annoyed with the way he had been treated so far today by his team captain. Kai shrugged, looking uninterested suddenly and he turned back to Kyoujyu, relaying some order or another to him.
Rei's shoulders dropped, the fight gone out of him and he began to trudge away. A single glance back confirmed that Takao was trailing along behind him and he moved to climb the stairs, leading away from the beach. When they eventually reached a little bench he deemed to be far enough away from the rest of the group, he sat down upon it. Takao followed his lead and sat down besides him, as far away as the bench would allow.
The silence grew heavier by the second and Rei felt that he was close to choking on it. Gathering his courage, he clenched his fists and took a deep breath. "I've been… thinking."
Takao nodded. "I noticed." He replied in a quiet voice. Rei fell quiet again, tracing the pattern of the iron armrest closest to him in a way to occupy his fidgeting fingers. This time, Takao broke the silence. "And have you… erm. Have you made your mind up?"
Rei bit his lip. "I think… I—" He broke off, swallowing down his nervousness. "I have."
Takao nodded, once again, and looked about ready to be sick. "Rei, I— I just want you to know… I did mean it. I wouldn't lie about something like that, so… if you think it was a joke or something, well. It wasn't."
Laughing softly, Rei smiled at him. "I know that, Taka. I never even considered that you'd be joking."
"Oh." Takao muttered, looking a little more relieved. "Well… you say you've made your mind up?"
"Yes." Rei replied softly.
Takao forced a smile. "And… do I want to know the answer? No, don't answer that." He rushed when Rei went to open his mouth. "What… what is your answer?"
There he'd asked. His voice had trembled, but he had shown the same character that had won him so many beyblade matches. Even though he knew Rei wouldn't say yes, at least he had been brave enough to tell him his feelings and to give it a try. No one else could say that, and so he sat there, waiting while he gripped the bench, trying to dispel his nausea.
Then Rei sighed and closed his eyes, sliding them back open, gifting him with lustrous saffron as his eyes locked onto his own.
And then Rei's lips were moving, even before his soft voice reached his ears.
"Yes."
End note: I was looking at the reviews for my collab fic: L'Orage…. When the Hell did we get 42 reviews? XD;
Anyway. Please enjoy. See you next week.
Status: Working on Chapter 6