Sapphic
By Kurama Sweethart
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Riza Hawkeye x Maria Ross
Warning: These themes follow no chronological or specific timeline and are in now way related to each other. Each of the thirty drabbles may be very heavy with yuri themes, or some could be viewed as just a platonic relationship, depending on the point of view of the reader.
Written for the LiveJournal community 30 Nights and dedicated to Just A Rambling Romantic, just because.
Theme #1: You Were Never Mine to Begin With
Words: 234
It had begun with two gun slinging military women with only one thing in common: each other. If one of them had been a male, hell, if both of them had been male: the two of them wouldn't have been able to meet like they had, every Saturday afternoon for lunch and shooting. It wasn't romantic, shooting lead into human-shaped targets, made of plywood. It wasn't romantic, the smell of oil and gunpowder and sweat. It wasn't romantic, the sound of bullets and grunts and metal on metal.
After a while, Maria began to live for their rendezvous each weekend, looking forward to the occasion and canceling all appointments that might interfere. She began to think of it as something that was hers, something that was only for her to keep and cherish and look back on with a smile.
It wasn't romantic; but it was hers.
But like a favorite song on the radio; like a moonlit night, dusted with stars; like a clear, soft dream of forever; all things had to come to an end.
It had begun with two gun slinging military women with only one thing in common: they weren't who they wanted to be.
And when Riza canceled that Saturday, for the first time in five years to visit the General, in the hospital, Maria realized that what had been taken from her hadn't been hers to begin with.
Theme #2: I'm Willing to Sacrifice Anything for You
Words: 221
"I'm moving back to West City." Maria said suddenly one evening, not looking up from her dinner. "To see my father."
Utterly taken aback, Riza swallowed and sat down her fork. "He had another stroke?" She asked slowly, biting her lip. She wanted to be supportive, no matter how difficult it might be.
"The doctor doesn't know how long he has." She continued, not looking up from her plate. "I'm being transferred, I have to move into my apartment next week." Maria's voice was low, as if she were drained of strength. Suddenly, Riza noticed how old she looked.
Without a second thought, she reached across the table and grabbed her lover's hand. "Then I'm going with you." One of them had to be strong, now.
"No." Maria said sternly, finally looking up and into her eyes. "You… you need to stay here with the colonel. That's what we agreed on, remember? If things weren't convenient anymore, we were going to-"
Smiling, Riza pressed their lips together, to silence her. "That was three years ago."
"But, what will you-" Maria began, shaking her head.
It was then, in that moment, that Maria was sure her lover had gone insane. Riza laughed, kissing her again and again until her lips were swollen and suddenly nothing felt important anymore. "Does it really matter?"
Theme #3: Find Me in the Dark
Words: 271
The military had been something far away and distant; like it existed in another world, another place, another time. Maria's parents had cut out her life for her: marry, have children, pursue no career other than nursing and fitting into the stereotype of what made a happy woman. What made a real woman.
But when Maria had come home one night, as a teenager with her hair cut short and her skirts packed away, her mother had called her a dyke and her father had beaten her, leaving her on their doorstep with nothing to remember who she was and nowhere to remind her of where she was going.
The days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months and after a while she didn't bother looking for a place to stay because no matter where she went, no one wanted a sad, lost little girl who had been kicked out for being unnatural. No one wanted a girl who kept getting thinner and whose hair was starting to grow back and whose face kept loosing color.
Except, of course, for her.
"You can stay with me." Said the boyish blonde girl, helping her to her feet. "But you have to join the military, with me, too."
"The military?" Maria had asked groggily, leaning against her savior. "Why would anyone want to do that?"
The boyish girl smiled sadly and looked at the towering, stone building that was Central Headquarters. "To be strong. To protect someone."
"I'd like to protect you." Maria had said, but she wasn't sure if malnutrition had caused her to hallucinate the girl smiling and holding her tighter.
Theme #4: Darkness in Her Heart
Words: 230
Maria had been too young to see the war, but she knew it must have been terrible. Where else could there be, to cause someone to be so immune to suffering? Firing her pistol into his body came so easily to Riza- Maria couldn't pull the trigger without flinching, couldn't look at the blood without wanting to cry.
"You get used to it," Riza had said, reloading another magazine. "I don't like to do it, but it's necessary."
Those words haunted Maria every time recoil raced up her arm. The words haunted her as Riza shot the man who killed General Mustang, nine, ten, eleven times; haunted her as Riza kept shooting until there were no more bullets and she could do nothing but sob uncontrollably over his body.
"I don't like to do it." She had said again, years after. "But killing him made me glad I know how to shoot."
Maria never touched her gun after that, and lost her job with the military because of it. Like it really mattered, anyway. She was gone because Riza was gone because he was gone. Not the other way around.
Maria had been too young to see the war, but she knew it must have been wonderful. Where else could there be, to cause someone to love a man like him so much that her heart turned black and cold?
Theme#5: Release My Darkness; Give Me Warmth
Words: 224
Riza was a military woman; she had to be strong, had to be indifferent, had to follow orders without question and do everything according to some preconceived notion of a soldier.
That was her darkness, Maria knew. What was Riza's greatest strength was also her greatest weakness.
Fortunately for both of them, there were times when the sun crept through the night and lit it, warming it, giving life to the woman who could be so extraordinarily unbridled and free that Maria never wanted to see the sunset again.
"Dear god, Riza," She panted to the woman who wasn't anything but a puzzle whose pieces never fit; to the lover that was a constant maze of changing walls; to the woman who was nothing but a contradiction to everything that she really was. "Please."
With a wink and a smile, she'd give it to her, fast and slow and rough and gentle all at once and it was always then that epiphany broke through the clouds like sun in a rainstorm and Maria realized that it was she that had freed Riza Hawkeye from her bounds.
And when it was all over and Maria could think without seeing bursts of light behind her eyes, she knew that it was she that had tamed the wild creature that was Riza Hawkeye and that it was she that Riza had accepted the ring from, not the colonel or anyone else-
She never could figure out why Maria loved the sunrise so much.
Theme #6: Stolen Heart
Words: 229
Since the day that Maria had laid eyes on Lieutenant Hawkeye, she knew that her heart was stolen; unavailable, unreachable, untouchable. It belonged to a scarred war-hero who liked to think he was everything he wasn't because why else would she leave, time and time again, their life behind to be with him?
She would always remember him as the man who stole her lieutenant's heart.
And although he loved her, Danny knew about hearts and the thieves who steal them, so he invited her to a drink at the local tavern and when he stumbled in from the rain, she thought she must have had one too many glasses of scotch.
"She doesn't love me," He began, sipping his whiskey easily, fiery as his namesake. "I don't think she ever did." There was something burning in his eyes that night and Maria knew she was definitely drunk if she wasn't able to see it.
When she finally made it home that night and she was there, waiting, Maria knew that not all missing things were stolen, but maybe just borrowed or maybe Riza had just realized how lost she had really been when she realized that she loved the woman that had followed her from the beginning, not the man that she had been following.
Roy would always remember her as the woman who stole his lieutenant's heart.
Theme #7: First Sunlight After the Darkness
Words: 259
The first time they had made love in Riza's flat, Maria traced the outline of the moon on the window and watched the snow dance slowly towards the ground afterwards, wishing and swearing and cursing on whatever was good and right and solid that the moment would last forever instead of ending like it inevitably would.
Like it would every other night afterwards, with Riza and Maria leaving for work and pretending to be uninterested and not even acquainted enough with each other to say good morning or good afternoon or see you tomorrow, chief.
But then they could go home together, kissing and touching and loving like she was sure no one had ever loved before, and it would be amazing until it ended, once again.
The fifty-seventh time they had made love in Riza's flat, Maria traced the outline of the sun on the window and watched the rays flood in, wishing and swearing and cursing on whatever was good and right and solid that the moment would last forever instead of ending like it inevitably would.
Like it would whenever the colonel was transferred and Riza would move back to East City, buy a new apartment and leave Maria alone, each time, wishing and waiting and wondering when she would come back home again.
But that was her peace after the destruction; that was her hope after the war; that was her sunlight after the darkness, and it always would be. It always would be every time Riza came back to her, time and time again.
Theme #8: One Last Date
Words: 227
It was one of those places that liked to pretend it was casual; lit by hazy lanterns that hung too close to the table, adorned in tacky floral arrangements and harboring a smell of sizzling fish and boiled rice. However, the food was nothing less than divine and served with a check that promised to wipe out paychecks for the next month and a half.
Never the less, it was a restaurant that was the first and last place that Maria thought she would ever see Riza Hawkeye.
"Word is that they have less than a thousand men on the front lines." Riza said, sickeningly calm. "It's voluntary, this time, what with the parliament. But I signed up."
Maria smiled, never ceasing to be amazed at the bravery of her comrade. "I can't ask you to be supportive." Riza went on, lifting a hand to illustrate. She only did so when she was feeling pressured or especially tense. "And I can't ask you to wait for me, because the General says that this one… this one is different."
When silence reigned save for the low murmur of patrons around them and the clink of silverware, Riza continued. "I hadn't expected you to be upset about being left behind, but…" She trailed off, suspiciously glancing at Maria's grin.
"Don't ask, don't tell." Maria reminded, shrugging. "They haven't asked me yet."
Theme #9: When All Hope is Lost
Words: 200
Bullets rained for innumerable days and infinite nights, falling from the sky like fiery messengers from hell. Clouds of smoke obscured the sky like dark, ominous curtains, moth-eaten from age and stained from the bloodshed. War was supposed to be over, now, what with the Fuhrer gone and the Parliament taking over. War was supposed to be just a passage in a history book; just an unforgiving nightmare in the sleep of a soldier.
Now, it was much more.
It was reality.
Every night Maria crawled into the arms of someone strong, biting her lip until it bled so as to hold back the tears, wondering why on earth the powers that be decided that now, of all times, there be another rebellion.
They were supposed to be together. Riza had moved in and Maria had become a major and Roy's wounds were healing and Alphonse was getting his memories back and damn it, this wasn't how it was supposed to be!
But it was reality.
And every night Maria crawled into the arms of Lieutenant Hawkeye, biting her lip until it bled and kissing her long and hard, glad that someone could remain strong when all hope was lost.
Theme #10: Together Always
Words: 166
Promiscuity, in the eyes of the government, was a gray, vague term that encompassed many areas: adultery, incest, fraternization, homosexuality, treason and of course, forbidden alchemy, all fell into the category of what was considered wicked, lewd and vile.
Riza was sure that what they were doing now fell into at least half of the category.
"Well," Maria stated thoughtfully, tracing invisible patterns on her lover's stomach. "Homosexuality is obvious."
And she had laughed and buried her face into the short, dark locks at the back of her neck, wondering idly what exactly the punishment was for promiscuity. "Fraternization." She breathed.
"Of course," Maria continued, closing her eyes. "And seeing as that counts as going against military order, treason, as well."
Riza hummed a reply and nosed the soft skin beneath her chin, putting little effort into shrugging her shoulders. "It doesn't really matter, as long as that court-martial has room for two of us."
"You've got that right." Maria giggled, flipping her over and pouncing.
TBC. Part 1 of 3.