Disclaimer: I do not own 'The Phantom of the Opera.'

It belongs to Gaston Leroux. Also, I don't own myself.

I belong to a part-Philipino half-midget who is crazy.

So please. If anyone's out there. Save me.

Phantom of the Opera

American Idol Style

By: Janx Spirit

Butlers Galore

Part One

"What is this? Where am I?" Erik complained as he woke up.

Everyone else on the plane also jolted awake, terribly scared by the strange man with the mask and the long black cape, "We're still on the plane..." One of them answered nervously.

"Did I ask you for your opinion?!" The phantom barked at the man, rising from his seat a bit only to have Raoul wrap his arms tighter around Erik's leg, "Have you been like that this whole time, you idiot?! It's just a plane you moron. There's nothing to be scared about!"

Raoul whimpered like a lost puupy, "But whenever we go somewhere else, those three scary girls always magically transport us there! Why couldn't they do that this time?" His pink mascara was running allover his face and he wrapped himself around Erik's legs even tighter (if that were possible) as more women sitting in the seats beside them licked there lips and smiled viciously at him.

"'Magical'...You are the biggest idiot I've ever met! They didn't 'magically transport' us...they drove us in their cars!" Yelled the phantom angrily, as he tried to pry Raoul's fingers from around his legs.

It didn't work though, and Raoul only began to dig his manicured nails into the black pants cloth, "'Car'? You liar. You're always just lying to me, aren't you? Like that time you told me Christine would be overjoyed to see me wearing one of her dresses. And then she had a bunch of these ballet girls attack me. And one of them even scratched my beautiful face! We're all going to die!"

At this, everyone in the plane began to gasp in utmost horror, really believing what Raoul was saying, "Shut up! We are not going to die!" With that Erik screamed in pain as he finally ripped Raoul's hands from his legs then grabbed him by the shoulders, hoisted him up, and began to shake him roughly, "Get a grip on yourself, man!"

Suddenly Maria made her way out of the captain's cabin, "Hey, everybody! Calm down! We are not going to die, we just have some retards that don't know how to contain themselves. And speaking of those retards: Get. A. Room. Seriously. I know you two want eachother, but can't you wait until we get to the hotel? Jeez." With that said, she spun around and made her way back to the captain.

The phantom's eyes blazed with anger-

"Now that's just silly. How can someone's eyes 'blaze with anger'? Wouldn't that hurt?" Interjected Meg who was sitting next to the narrator, as she had wanted the window seat.

Anyway. The phantom was pretty damn mad about what Maria said, so he quickly pulled his punjab lasso out of his cape.

Raoul snorted, "How can he carry that thing in his cape? Does it have some mysterious pockets in it?"

Alright, already! The phantom was angry and had his punjab lasso and he went to go kill Maria.

"Yeah, but then wouldn't he be-"

For some strange reason everyone on the plane suddenly dropped dead, except for Erik and Maria, because Erik was angry, had his punjab lasso, and was out for blood. He strode over to the captain's quarters and opened the door only to see Bella flying the plane, and Donna curled into a little ball on the floor, fast asleep.

"Wait...what? Where's the captain? And where's that annoying little blonde slut?" Erik asked.

Bella turned to him, "I'm the captain, no freakin' duh. And Meg is sitting right next to the narrator, didn't you see her?"

"Do you even have a license to fly this thing?!"

No answer.

"Oh, great. We really are all going to die!" He turned to leave and tell the others (mainly Christine) but Maria had already locked the door behind him and had her arms stretched over it, "What do you think you're doing, little girl? Move out of my way."

The blonde shook her head rapidly, her blonde curls flying everywhere, "Oh, no. I don't think so buddy. I've wanted to go see Gerard Butler ever since 'The Phantom of the Opera' and '300' movies came out, and you are not going to stop me. We couldn't get a pilot to take us to Hollywood. So we had to hi-jack a plane. And we might go to jail, but getting the chance to be near Gerard Butler's ass? Totally worth it." Bella, and even the sleeping Donna, hummed in agreement.

"You hi-jacked this plane?! You're mad! And that's really something, coming from me!" Erik pushed Maria out of the way and tried to open the door, but saw that it had been welded shut, "When did you have the time to do this?!"

Maria stood up, "When you were talking to Bella, isn't that obvious?"

"B-but...we barely..." He turned to look at the tiny girl, "You're fast."

She smiled wickedly, "I know."

"Me, too." Donna said in her sleep.

"Hm...I wonder why the plane is shaking..." Christine said, mostly to herself, as she gripped onto the sides of her seat a bit more tightly, the plane shaking from side to side violently.

Raoul stumbled by with a bag stuck over his head, "We're all going to die!"

"Hm...now that would kind of suck..." Christine said, mostly to herself, "Hey, Nadir? Where's Erik?"

The Persian turned to her, not showing the slightest bit of emotion, "I've no idea. The last I saw of him, he was fighting with Raoul. Then the narrator killed us off. Then she brought us back and now he's gone. I think he went to the captain's, though." He then picked up his 'National Geographic' and went back to reading as all around him people were screaming and jumping out of the windows.

Well...guess I'd better go see what's going on... Christine stood up, only to fall back as the plane suddenly tilted on it's side.

"Oh...no!!" Raoul screamed loudly, holding onto the seats as the plane completely flipped upside down.

Carlotta yelled, too, "WHAT THEE HEEL EEZ GO EENG ON HERE? WHY AHM I UPSIDE DOWN, EH?"

"Everybody! Calm down!" Donna said as she made her way out of the captain's quarters, "It's all okay. We're just having a bit of a tiff as to how this plane should be run, okay?"

A scream came from behind her and Bella came running out beside Donna. Her dark hair was coming off in patches, and her black-rimmed glasses hung off to one side, "What...Donna! How did you open that door?! Maria welded it shut!" Everyone turned as best as they could to stare, wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the girl.

"'Welded shut'?! What is going on? Where's the captain?! I want to speak to the captain!" Nadir yelled and a loud chorus of agreement followed his words.

Donna and Bella began to back away into the captain's cabin, "'Captain'? You want to speak to the captain. Okay. We'll get the captain..."

They slammed the door closed behind them and began to grab random items and block it. Then they turned to see that they were still upside down. Then Bella turned to see Donna get sick allover the ceiling...or floor...whatever. Then they turned to see that the ground was becoming very close indeed. Then they turned to see Erik strangling Maria. Then they turned to see a little red light that said 'You're screwed' blinking on and off. Then they turned to see the passengers angry faces staring at them. Then they turned to see Maria dead on the floor. Then they turned to see the narrator and Erik pointing at the dead body and laughing uncontrollably. Then they turned to see the passengers raising a bunch of pitchforks and torches towards them. Then everything went black.

A/N: How long has it been since I updated. Oh, okay. Only two years. No big deal, then. So we're still going to Hollywood, even though it's been two years. I was going to give up on this story, but yesterday I checked my mailbox and saw a review for it, a really nice review, from BertTheGnome. So I decided: what the Hell? I re-read this story and absolutely hate it because of my limited writing skills back then, but I'm not re-doing it. Hell no. So you're all just going to have to deal with the lame suckiness that the first ten chapters are.

Also, I'm not sure if I'm still allowed to use AtomicScribble, Phantomphan1992, and Marcellina in my story. So unless I'm given permission from them, I'm currently on the lookout for new recruits to defeat Walt Disney. If you'd like to be one of these 'lucky' people, just send a small description of yourself in your review, along with the type of weapon you'd like to use to find Walt, and any shout-outs you may have for all of the readers of this story. Though, please, I emphasize the words 'small description.' I do not want to be stuck reading a paragraph description about your eyes alone. However, it would actually be sort of neat to find someone that could write a paragraph about their eyes alone. So here's the deal:

If you can write a full, six to seven sentence, well written paragraph about your eyes, or any other body part for that matter, then I'll still stick you somewhere in the story. Good luck.

Until next time,

Sexy Bitch.