Disclaimer: Don't own OTH, just love the characters and playing w/ them.

My idea of how Dan feels inside, short and brief. one-shot. plz review.

"The body is a furnace, and the mind is the iron within it; the five fires of passion (lust, anger, greed, emotional attachment, false pride) are heating it. Sin is the charcoal placed upon it, which burns the mind; the tongs are anxiety and worry"

My name means that God is my judge, well may he judge me now for what I have done. I have murdered in cold blood, I have taken a human life. I am a monster and I freely admit it, but as long as no one knows then I am free. I am my own judge. There are those that say that you are judged for your actions in this life when you die to decide if you go to heaven or hell. Well if that were true, I would belong in the ninth circle of hell for all the pain I have caused others.

I have killed my brother, I have hated my brother. I have been abused by father, I have hated my father. I was loved once by a dark haired nymph, but she extinguished that love and now the memory of our relationship is but a bitter icicle in my mind. I have loved my wife and hated my wife. I have two sons, both who hate me and will have nothing to do with me. But there is a difference between them. One is golden and good and the other is dark and a shadow. The good and golden is the one I ignored, the dark shadow I nurtured, because in the dark shadow I see myself. I tried with the good and golden, I opened up my heart and let him in, only to find out that he wanted to bring me down. He is the son of my blood and my brother replicated. In good and golden, there is clumsy and loving.

He hid in the past, I see him in the shadows lurking, coveting what is mine. There was always one constant in my life. I had had what my brother never could, he loved it for so many years, played second fiddle to me for so many years. She hated me but still he was the shadow, but then things happened, time changed. She opened her eyes and saw him, my constant was ruined, obliterated, destroyed. I was jealous, spiteful, murderous.

Even when my blood slept with my wife, I had my revenge. An eye for an eye, or in my case a heart for a heart. Still he drew breath, his heart pumped, his eyes sparkled when she finally saw him, his one and only and true accepted him. They were going to be a family, he was getting what I never had.

I can't accept it. I hate it, my blood boils. A memory floats to my mind, reminding me of the differences between us. I am the rotten apple of the bunch, but that doesn't stop me from spreading my poison.

I am a virus that is terminal, every breath I draw, I spread my venom. There is no antidote to me, except death and look how well that has worked out so far.