First of all, there are lots of spelling and grammar mistakes, but the only reason I'm not changing them is because they are part of the funniness and randomness of this fic…
Second, yes I KNOW it's script style, but I like it that way…besides, that's the way we wrote it and it would ruin it to change it, as you'll see if you read it.
Disclaimer: Yay! I actually remembered the disclaimer this time! WAHOO! Anywho…no I don't own Arty—
Arty: Stop calling me Arty!
Me: ignores …or any of the other characters, anything like that…I also don't own "Cooking With Artemis and Holly"…what I do own is the MANGA MANGA and SHOUJO SHOUJO part of things…gasp! I ACTUALLY own something! YAAAAAAAAYY! plays Hallelujah chorus and dances around in triumph
P.S. All names of real people have been changed…
From: COUSIN1
Sent: Tue 1/17/2006 4:46 PM
To: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT
Subject: hi
hi HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT
i made pancakes for dinner tonight for the first time... and i ruined them!
well it happened like this: i made the pancakes and dad had just come home when
we started eating COUSIN2 spat out her bite and said, "they taste like pretzles!"
(sorry i don't know how to spell very well) and so dad got up and said, "how
mutch baking powder did you add?" and he showed me the baking powder. and i felt
myself turning red and said, "that isn't what i put in" and it turned out that i
hadn't read the intructions the right way and i had added baking soda insted.
sigh oh well... now for my good news. i have a loose tooth! (seems kinda
silly compared to the bad news huh? not that thats not silly rolls eyes at
least to DAD it's funny)
TTYL
COUSIN1
p.s. i'm reading the cronicals of narnia and i think that they are my new
favorite books!
From:
HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT
To:
COUSIN1
Sent: Tue, 17 Jan 2006 18:53:54 -0800
Subject: RE: hi
yay, yay, and YAY! go narnia! pancakes with baking soda...hmm...i think i
wCOUSIN1 taste one...grin yum!
From:
COUSIN1
Sent: Wed 1/18/2006 2:18 PM
To:
HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT
Subject:
Re: hi
yeah... rolls eyes they were REALY good. in fact they were so good with baking soda that dad said
they wern't good for us. :(
sighoh well. TTYL
COUSIN1
From: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT
To: COUSIN1
Subject: Re: hi
yeah...oh well...
artemis: you know, i think even I could do better than that.
me: ah, be quiet! you don't know the first thing about cooking!
artemis: prove it!
me: okay...let me tell you a little story, arty...ahem...
reads "Cooking With Artemis and Holly" out loud
(A/N: Hello all you lovely readers out there! Search for "Cooking With Artemis and Holly" and I think you will get it…(I hope so) Anywho, this is NOT my fanfic. I just really liked it…three cheers for Ani May Queen!)
me: ha! told you artemis!
artemis: i remember that...shakes head for a while there we really though Juliet HAD snapped...
me: that was funny though...
artemis: come to think of it...i'm kind of hungry...do you think...?
me: gasps in amazement, then begins laughing hysterically
artemis: thoughtfully turns to me hey, where's that neverending purse of yours? (A/N: A standing joke among my friends…I hardly ever clean my purse out, so anything you want is almost guaranteed to be in there…)
me: trying HARD not to laugh, and failing miserably umm...here...but...you can't be serious...
artemis: if juliet can do it, so can i...grabs my purse, fishes in it and pulls out pinata and lawn mower
me: ...
artemis: now let's see, how did she do it?
me: still trying not to laugh she ran over the lawn mower with the pinata...i mean she ran over the pinata with the lawn mower...
artemis: thanks. runs over pinata with lawn mower
AUNT: from other room WHAT'S THAT NOISE?
all: simultaneously nothing!
holly: comes in hey guys, i-- stops at sight of lawn mower and squashed pinata What are you DOING?
foaly: pokes his head in i know! he's doing what juliet did that time when you two did the cooking show together! remember?
holly: oh right! so what are you gonna eat?
artemis: i don't know...surprisingly enough, pizza sounds good, but caviar is my usual line of eating...
juliet: runs past here, let me help you with that... begins chanting MANGA MANGA MANGA MANGA MANGA...
FRIEND: what is it with all the japanese stuff?
me: shrugs and watches in amazement
juliet: MANGA MANGA...MENU!
menu falls out of thin air and hits artemis on the head
artemis: ow! um...thanks i guess...rubs his head, mutters that hurt...
juliet: brightly you're welcome! runs off again
artemis: looking at menu hmm, that looks good...but so does that...and that...and...holly, come over here and help me decide what to eat...
me, FRIEND, COUSIN1, and COUSIN2: laugh hysterically at artemis' choice of person to help him decide
AUNT: I HEAR LAUGHING! DO YOU HAVE FRIENDS OVER OR SOMETHING?
COUSIN1: pulls herself together no!
AUNT: WELL WHATEVER IT IS KEEP IT DOWN!
COUSIN1: okay!
artemis: head still bent over the menu how about that?
holly: ooh...okay! that does sound good!
artemis: puts menu down okay...let's see...
me: now you light candles and put them around the pinata and chant...POCKY POCKY POCKY...begins walking around pinata chanting. artemis follows, putting lighted candles everywhere soon COUSIN1 and COUSIN2 and FRIEND join in, then foaly and holly
root: comes in what are you doing?
everyone: SSSSHHHHH! continues chanting
root: watches puzzled for a minute, then shrugs and joins in
COUSIN3 and COUSIN4: come into room and watch
suddenly everyone stops chanting. dead silence for a minute
artemis: SHRIMP SPAGHETTI PIZZA WITH ANCHOVIES!
everyone else except holly: EEEWWWWWW!
ingredients rain down as before
COUSIN3 and COUSIN4: COOL!
artemis: sees ingredients oh crud, you have to cook it? i thought maybe if we chanted long enough it would already be done!
holly: oh well! come on, let's make it!
artemis and holly start picking up ingredients
me: come on, let's do it again! that was fun, and i'm hungry!
everyone else except artemis, holly, COUSIN3 and COUSIN4: okay!
all except the four mentioned above begin walking and chanting again. after a while COUSIN3 and COUSIN4 decide it looks fun and start doing the same thing
me: POCKY POCKY POCKY...ICE CREAM!
ice cream ingredients come down. milk is not in a container and splatters all over artemis, but he doesn't notice, he's too busy trying to figure out how to put the pizza together
me: having got what i wanted, i subside and begin picking up ice cream ingredients
COUSIN1: POCKY POCKY POCKY...FRUIT SALAD!
me: laughing hysterically YUMMY YUMMY! singing while laughing YUMMY YUMMY FRUIT SALAD... (A/N: Yes that was from the wiggles, my brothers watch it and I think hers do too, so yup)
meanwhile, fruits rain down
COUSIN1: oh darn, i have to slice them myself...oh well...
everyone else chants, then asks for ingredients for a different food. soon there are ingredients falling all over the room
me: yum that was good! but i'm still hungry! joins back in the chant
COUSIN1: me too! joins in with me
UNCLE and AUNT together: from other room WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT POCKY AND MANGA?
all except UNCLE and AUNT: NOTHING!
everyone begins chanting or eating again
COUSIN2: BROWNIES!
COUSIN4: CHOCOLATE MILK!
COUSIN3: JUST PLAIN CHOCOLATE!
harry: appearing suddenly through the door IT'S UMBRIDGE! RUN!
a pair of legs and a squat woman with a face like a toad's fall down (A/N: Pair of legs for running…get it? Sorry, I was in a strange mood)
umbridge: lands with a bump what am i doing here?
ron and hermione: coming through the door too OH NO!
ron: what's she doing here?
hermione: sees what's going on CENTAUR!
umbridge: nervously what did you sa--
firenze falls from the ceiling um...trying to stay dignified hello...
umbridge: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! runs out screaming
harry: good work hermione!
ron: phew!
all the potter people look at everyone else, still chanting (A/N: That's their new nickname…Potter people, Potter people, Potter people…yay!)
hermione: strange, i've never read about this kind of magic before...
harry: excuse me...what are you doing?
me: sees harry harry? HARRY POTTER?
swarm of random fangirls runs past HARRY POTTER, WHERE, WHERE!
me: sighs idiots, all of them
FRIEND: look who's talking!
me: what do you mean? not harry! just...certain other people...blushes furiously
FRIEND: coughchokeARTEMISchokechokecough
me: oh be quiet!
artemis: looks over do you need something?
me: frantically NO! i mean, no. thanks though...
harry: looks as if we're all insane right...uh, we'd better be going now...come on hermione...ron, we're going now...ron? RON?
ron has found the chanting and figured out what happens
ron: hey harry! this is FUN! come try it! pulls harry into the chant, hermione joins too
ron: PUMPKIN PASTIES!
hermione: BOUILABAISSE!
harry: BERTIE BOTT'S EVERY FLAVOR BEANS!
all these items fall from the ceiling
harry: that is pretty cool!
meanwhile, foaly has seen firenze and they are talking
AUNT: WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON IN THERE?
all: NOTHING!
foaly is still talking with firenze
all: POCKY POCKY POCKY...
butler: comes in, stops in amazement um...what are you all doing?
me: observe. POCKY POCKY...oh wait a minute...butler, are you hungry?
butler: a little, why?
me: what do you want to eat?
butler: uh...maybe...um...pasta?
me: okay...POCKY POCKY POCKY...
artemis: just don't order it from that mafia place...
mr. fowl: runs past frantically MAFIA? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
me: shakes head he's hopeless...oh well...POCKY POCKY...PASTA!
butler: what...is interrupted by noodles falling down on his head. they are already cooked and some stick, giving him long blond hair
butler: um...
me: laughs hysterically and points at butler IT'S ARNO BLUNT!
butler: NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE...
me: still laughing
blunt falls from the ceiling
blunt: what am i doing here? hey, wait a minute, i know that face...gasps it's b-butler! but--but i c-c-confessed! i d-did! really!
butler: it's okay, blunt. i'm just here to tell you you did a good job confessing. you can go back now.
FRIEND: yeah um...how do we send them back?
butler: uh...JULIET!
juliet: appears in door what?
butler: how do we send them back?
juliet: just chant SHOUJO and say its name again...why? hey wait a minute! that's the guy who shot you! i'll take care of him for you! goes after blunt, who screams and runs away. they run around the room for a bit
FRIEND: shakes her head that japanese stuff again...
butler: juliet! STOP, JULIET!
juliet: doesn't stop
holly: stops chanting here, let me...mesmerizes juliet JULIET, STOP CHASING BLUNT.
juliet: stops, looks at holly obediently
holly: LISTEN TO YOUR BROTHER AND DO WHATEVER HE SAYS FOR THE NEXT TWO MINUTES.
juliet: nods, looks at butler
butler: juliet. you can't kill or hurt blunt. the people at the jail will wonder what happened when they see him. we have to send him back.
juliet: yes sir. salutes
FRIEND: oooohkaaaay...
juliet: SHOUJO SHOUJO SHOUJO SHOUJO SHOUJO...
everyone helps, even foaly and firenze
everyone: SHOUJO SHOUJO SHOUJO SHOUJO...ARNO BLUNT!
blunt vanishes
everyone: phew!
suddenly mafia fall off the ceiling
me: um...when did we say--
artemis: DON'T SAY IT!
me: sorry...oh yeah! turns to him accusingly YOU said it!
artemis: yes i know...but i think it was my father who set it off...
FRIEND: but that was ages ago, why is he here now?
mafia dude: i don't know, but i do know i'll kill you if you don't give me money!
me: uh-oh...
juliet: holly, i wish you wouldn't mesmerize me. now then...sometimes the food gods have late reaction times. now everyone help me...SHOUJO SHOUJO SHOUJO...
everyone: SHOUJO SHOUJO...
mafia dude: waving gun threateningly what are you doing?
everyone: SHOUJO SHOUJO SHOUJO SHOUJO...MAFIA DUDE!
mafia dude: i'm not a dude! disappears
everyone: phew!
trelawney: appears in door YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! I HAVE SEEN IT!
everyone: WHATEVER!
me: starts to mimic trelawney from movie welcome my children...in this room you shall explore the noble art of divination...in this room you shall discover if you possess the sight! bangs against a convenient table
trelawney: doesn't appear to realize what i'm doing and is now chanting with everyone else
me: continues to do imitation