An Arrow Not Burning, Part X: Obsession
Kaede was not her sister, but she had enough of the miko's powers to sense when the barrier over Inuyasha abruptly collapsed. Startled, she looked up, then climbed to her feet and eased closer to the porch. She could still feel the Shikon No Tama's power, swirling and churning. It hadn't lessened in strength – if anything, it felt to have gained intensity. But it seemed to be coming from only a single point.
When she got to the porch, she could see a faint glow coming from under Inuyasha's chest. Standing on her toes, she tried to get a look at his face. What she could see was caked with blood, though the gashes seemed to have stopped oozing. What was surprising was the expression on his face. He looked to be smiling—
Light exploded outward, even brighter than the first explosion. Kaede yelped and jumped backwards, tripped and fell. Pain sliced through her wounded face, and she cried out. But her voice was lost in the greater scream that came from the hanyo.
The girl tried to get to her feet, but could only manage to sit up, her right arm sheltering her face. She was surrounded by a cascade of pure soul-power rushing out from a center that was occupied by the screaming hanyo. It terrified her, that scream, but she was helpless, caught in the periphery of the jewel's power.
Just as abruptly as it had started, it all stopped. Power, scream, and her own pain. Gingerly, she lowered her arm, apprehensive of another blast. But as the moments passed, she realized that there would not be another. The overwhelming sensation of power was gone. There was only the faintest glow, akin to the warmth of embers that were not quite dead.
Shakily, she got to her feet, and staggered to the stairs. "Kaede-kun," came a voice behind her, which she recognized as belong to the headman. "Is it over?"
"I-I don't know. Stay back!" Clinging to the railing, she pulled herself up the steps. Carefully avoiding looking at her sister's body, Kaede side-stepped along the porch until she came to Inuyasha's body. Letting herself thump down to her hands and knees, she examined him.
The first thing she noticed was that the claw was gone from his back. There was a raw wound in his back, just missing his spine, as large as her fist, oozing blood that made its way to the already soaked floor-boards via several narrow streams. His shoulders were also wet with blood, halfway down his shoulder blades and his upper arms, where the skin was starting to bubble in a mass of blisters. Most of the cuts and bites appeared to have stopped bleeding, but the left forearm was leaking blood in a steady stream.
Kaede bit her lip to keep from crying. What was she going to do? She didn't begin to have Kikyo's skill or knowledge, and she didn't know of anyone in the village who knew even as much as she did! And there was something wrong with Inuyasha besides the visible wounds, she just didn't know what. He was going to die if someone didn't care properly for him—but she didn't know enough! And her sister was dead, and she was all alone in the world, and she didn't know how to save the person she was certain her sister had loved—
"Where is it? Where is the Shikon No Tama!"
Kaede jumped, slamming her back into the railing as she tried to turn and straighten at the same time. As cries and gasps of surprise and fear rose behind her, she stared, mouth agape in disbelief. Kikyo! Her sister; her dead sister, was—
Sitting up, hands clenched about the broken necklace, eyes wide and staring. Alive.
Kaede shook. She tried to say something, but it took her three tries to get anything past her lips. "S-s-s-sister--?"
Kikyo's head whipped about. Kaede almost flinched as she came under a gaze that was wild-eyed and glassy. "Kaede. The jewel. What's happened to it? I can't sense it anywhere!"
"I-inu – Inuyasha t-took it."
"What?" The glassy eyes blinked, and rage began to form in their depths. "But he said he didn't betray me! Are you saying he was lying!"
Betrayal! "H-he took the jewel after you d-died," stammered Kaede, shrinking back. "H-he used it."
"What? The fool!" Kikyo started to get to her feet, then fell back as Kaede's words obviously penetrated. Blinking several times, she stared at her sister. "'Died'?"
Swallowing, Kaede nodded. "After you destroyed the demon. You—you just fell over, a-and when we got to you, y-you w-weren't breathing. I-Inuyasha took the jewel; I think to bring you back. It-it started to turn him youkai, a-and he dropped it. I-I begged him not to try again, I knew you wouldn't want him to turn youkai, but he did! And then … I-I'm not sure what happened, but I, but I-I think—he purified the jewel. And brought you back."
Kikyo stared at her. In the silence between them, shrieks could be heard rising from the village. Kaede heard the headman ordering most of the men down the hill to find out what was going on, but all her attention was focused on her sister.
"He couldn't have purified the jewel," said Kikyo at last. "He's hanyo." Her eyes narrowed. "Where is he?"
"R-right here," faltered Kaede, startled that Kikyo hadn't even noticed. "He's hurt awful, and th-there's something wrong with him, besides all the wounds."
Kikyo turned her head. "His youkai blood's been almost purified," she said after a moment, with a detached tone of voice that scared her sister. "He hasn't absorbed the jewel, so he must still be holding it. Which hand—of course, he couldn't possibly hold anything with that hand." Going to her knees beside Inuyasha's limp body, she grabbed his shoulder and pulled him over onto his back.
"Sister, what are you doing?" yelped Kaede. She stared, horrified, as Kikyo, without any apparent care, pulled his right hand into her lap and pried open his clenched fingers. She thought she saw a faint, pink glow, but it vanished too quickly to be sure.
Kikyo appeared to stare at the empty hand for long moments before looking back up. "It can't be gone," she stated, her eyes strange. "Someone's taken it. I have to get it back. I have to protect it. I have to purify it."
Kaede felt goose-bumps racing up her arms, and felt her stomach twist. What was wrong with her sister? This wasn't like her! "But it is gone, sister," she insisted. "I'm sure of it! There was – there was sort of an explosion, it felt like your miko power, but huge! I felt it, and Inuyasha was screaming, he was in the middle of it, and when it stopped, I came back here, you saw what he's like, and then you-you came back to life—!"
Confusion replaced some of the strangeness. "'Came back' … you said, I – died…?"
"Yes!" Kaede's voice choked, as tears burned. "It was awful! You'd just destroyed that demon, and Inuyasha was down, but I knew you'd save him, and then you fell down, too! Then Inuyasha woke up, he tried to get to you, but that awful thing through his body, he couldn't hardly move, but he wanted to see you, I think—I think he was crying—please, sister, you've got to believe me!"
"I …" Kikyo's eyes went unfocussed. Her left hand drifted up to her right shoulder. "In the meadow … sunrise. Waiting for him … with the jewel … we'll use the jewel, turn him human, purify it … then I feel his claws, he's laughing at me, he betrayed me! I—I curse him, I hate him, how dare he! He leaves, he's going to attack the village, I have to get up, I have to go after him, it's the last thing I'll ever do, stop him, take the jewel back, I have to, my duty… Then he comes back, he's pretending, curse him, I won't be fooled again, I'll kill him, how dare he, pretending he's concerned, actually touching me, I still have my power, he's stupid enough to let me touch him—!"
She shivered, going silent. Kaede listened, eyes huge, having had no idea what had happened before the fight at the shrine.
"It wasn't him," Kikyo whispered, blinking. "I tried to purify him, he broke away, then came back, it wasn't him, he held me, he told me he loved me." Tears began to trickle down her face. "Inuyasha…"
Kaede hesitated, then spoke up. "Sister, shouldn't we be doing something? Inuyasha's awfully hurt, he's still bleeding, and, and – I don't want him to die."
Kikyo gave her a startled look, as if she hadn't even noticed. She glanced down at the unconscious hanyo. Kaede watched as surprise and dismay flickered over her sister's face. Kikyo closed her eyes, eyebrows drawn together for a long moment. Then they opened again, as her face smoothed into her calm, cool miko's face. "I do not wish him to die either, little sister," she said, working at the ties of her stained and torn outer shirt." She glanced down the shrine's stairs. "You four!" she barked. Kaede looked over her shoulder. Four of the younger men of the village had been left behind when the headman had ordered the others back to the village. They were standing stiff and straight, their faces pale and sweaty, their eyes wide. "I need a litter to move Inuyasha. Use your spears, and don't waste time. Understand?"
"Yes, miko-sama." "Of course, miko-sama." R-r-right away, m-miko-s-sama." Stumbling over their words, the quartet hastily moved back to the head of the stairs, then huddled, whispering to each other. As one broke away to dash down the steps, Kaede heard a ripping sound and turned her attention back to her sister. Kikyo tossed her one of the voluminous sleeves from her kimono.
"Take out the lacing," she ordered, starting to rip off the second sleeve. "We'll use these to wrap around the worst wounds until we can get him down to the hut."
Kaede hastily complied, feeling relieved. She didn't understand why her sister had been acting like that. But at least now, she seemed to be back to normal…
The waning half-moon was rising. Kikyo stood just outside the hut, listening and watching with her inner senses as well as her outer. Not unexpectedly, all the other huts were dark. It was very late, the day had been exhausting for most, and no one in a farming village was going to waste fire or light to stay up at night, especially when most would be up with the summer sun.
The eldritch atmosphere was as peaceful as the physical. The general level of demonic auras had dropped sharply even from what she had felt at dusk. Without the Shikon jewel to attract attention, the lower forms of youkai were drifting back to their normal patterns. And it was a drift; no matter how hard she tried, the miko could sense no directional movement in the ebb of demonic energy.
Nevertheless, Kikyo kept her bow and arrows to hand, even as she shouldered the wooden yoke and headed towards the nearest large irrigation ditch. It was undoubtedly safe enough, but she was not going to risk repeating yesterday morning's lesson a second time, in any aspect.
She did not hurry, and her pace returning was slower yet, as she moved with the buckets filled with water. As she approached the hut she shared with Kaede, she sent a touch of thought at the wards she had erected over the hut. A hemisphere flickered briefly, a pure, unstained azure blue; and she knew that no one had touched the shield, or attempted to breach it. It did not, of course, react to her as she went through it. Squatting enough to set the buckets down, she removed the yoke and set it against the hut, then took the first bucket inside. As she poured its contents into the larger barrel, she heard a whimper.
Swallowing a sigh, Kikyo slipped off her sandals and went to the dim form lying near the square firepit. Kneeling beside him, she touched his forehead. It was sweaty and hot. Inuyasha whimpered again, then muttered something unintelligible, his voice thin and frightened. "Shh, Inuyasha," she murmured, gently stroking his cheek. "It'll be all right. Try not to move. I'll be right here."
She felt the muscles relax under her fingers, and continued to caress his face. He gave a sigh and surrendered to a deeper sleep, his facial muscles going slack. Leaving his side, Kikyo uncovered the embers and rebuilt the fire, moving as quietly as possible, to avoid waking her sister, who was sleeping behind a screen. Filling a small pot with water, she set up the tripod and left it heat. Lighting a lamp, she placed it near Inuyasha's head, then carefully rolled down the cover.
The top layers of the heavy bandage over his middle were still dry. That was one of the first positive signs she had seen: the first two sets of bandages had become soaked with blood. Nevertheless, even her light touch caused him to moan in pain. Checking the bandages on his left arm, which had also bled through the first set, she carefully pulled the covering back to his chin.
A small, covered pot on top of her chest of medicinal supplies contained a potion she had mixed earlier in the evening. Testing it with a fingertip dipped in the liquid and then touched to her tongue, she decided that it was still at the right potency to use. Taking it to the fire along with a shallow bowl, she poured a measured amount into the latter.
The unconscious hanyo's face screwed up in disgust as the first bit of liquid passed his lips. Kikyo gave him a whispered but firm order to drink it, which elicited a mumble that sounded rather like a small boy's whine. She repeated her order, and he quieted, swallowing each small mouthful that she carefully fed him. The muscles on either side of his skull—quite visible with much of the upper scalp torn off—were anything but quiet, vainly trying to move the destroyed ears. Kikyo could only imagine the position those dog ears would be in were they present, and had she not been so exhausted, she might have found amusement in how Inuyasha's ears signaled his reactions, even when he was unconscious.
As it was, she only sighed as she let his head down, and reached for the shallow bucket of water sitting nearby. Wringing out the cloth that had been floating in the water, she began to dampen his face. His ear muscles twitched, then relaxed. Dunking the cloth, she folded it and placed it across his lacerated forehead.
Having done all she could for the moment, Kikyo leaned back. She ached. Her eyes burned. Her body yearned for sleep. But she wouldn't—couldn't—sleep. She couldn't bear the thought of sleep, of losing awareness. Not while she didn't know. Not while nothing made sense.
A hanyo could not have purified and destroyed the Shikon No Tama. No matter how pure his wish, how selfless his desire, a hanyo was tainted by his youkai blood, forever impure. He might make a wish that would purify the jewel, but only with the assistance of a miko of pure heart, whose power would surround and protect the jewel from his taint.
It wasn't possible.
It wasn't believable.
She buried her face in her hands. The early events were believable enough, terrible though they were. The memory of Inuyasha's – no, Naraku's—claws tearing through her flesh was searing. The memory of Inuyasha's pale, sweaty face as he put the hands that had burned him and tried to kill him back on his shoulders; the way he had so gently held her, the words he had whispered in her ear, even as he trembled in pain and fear—that she would remember forever. The confrontation and fight with Naraku and Onigumo's spirit; the desperate, despairing effort to keep going, the staggering shock of horror and grief as the merge-demon impaled Inuyasha and pulled him down to provide a shield; the surge of hope and determination as Inuyasha struck back and tore out the human heart of the merge-demon, and the stilled, stilled center of space wherein she found the speed and skill to send her last two arrows and all of her miko power into the human heart and the youkai body.
All that she remembered; knew it had happened. But afterwards— She remembered knowing that she was dying. She had staggered towards Inuyasha, thinking that she had to tell him—tell someone—that they needed to burn the jewel with her body, to make sure she took the jewel with her to the underworld. But she hadn't reached him, when her heart spasmed, and she felt herself falling. She had felt a final flash of horror and despair—horror that the jewel was going to be without a protector, without anyone who could purify it. And despair, that she had failed her duty. She had failed to protect the jewel. She had failed to purify it. Anyone who died from the malign influence of the Shikon No Tama would be her responsibility, a burden on her soul.
She had fallen into darkness, and then, with no perceptible sense of elapsed time, had found herself awake, and with the awareness that the jewel was gone. The glittering source of power that had always been within her perception for months had vanished. Horror and fear had snapped her up to a seated position. She had tried to sense the jewel, and then her sister had told her Inuyasha had taken the jewel. She had almost been ready to believe Inuyasha had betrayed her after all, until Kaede had told her something even harder to believe.
That the jewel was gone.
Her sister had to be wrong. The Shikon No Tama had to still be in existence, only somehow moved beyond her ability to detect it. If only she knew how, and where! If only Inuyasha would wake up, tell her what had happened, then she might have a chance of finding it!
But he might never wake up. A human would already be dead. Hanyos were, by report, supposed to be able to heal from almost anything that didn't immediately kill them. But it was the youkai blood they carried that gave them that gift, and Inuyasha's was so weakened that she could barely sense it, beneath the lingering haze of spirit power. Could he heal in that condition? He had lost so much blood! She had spent so much of the day working on his injuries, cleaning, stitching and bandaging, as Kaede dealt with the villagers who had kept coming around, wanting to ask about the miracles. She had not wanted to talk with anyone, preferring to concentrate on her medicines; mixing salves to sooth and protect the burned areas, mixing poultices for the other wounds to protect against infection. She had tried not to think about whether the hanyo would live or die, but she had been aware of every hitch in his shallow, labored breathing. Every slightest vocalization had made her look towards his face, in the hope that he was rousing. But he hadn't opened his eyes once. She could coax him into taking her potions, for fever and pain, but she was afraid they would do no good—worse, that they might make the belly wound worse. She wanted him to live, for so many reasons. But she was so afraid that he was going to die—
The absence of sound snapped her head up. She stared at Inuyasha's still face. He wasn't breathing. His chest wasn't moving. It couldn't, he couldn't—
Kikyo panicked. He couldn't die! Not when she didn't know! Reaching down, she grabbed the hanyo's bandaged shoulders, and shook him. "No! Inuyasha. Inuyasha, you can't die!"
His body jerked, his breath a sharp gasp of pain. She shook him again. "Inuyasha!"
The hanyo moaned, his face twisting in pain. "Don't," he muttered. "Hurts."
"Inuyasha!" she made the whisper a demand. "I need you to wake up!"
He moaned again, head moving back and forth. "Ki-kyo… stop it…"
Her hands did not relent. "I need you to wake up. Inuyasha! Listen to me!"
"I hear – you. Ki--." He started again, but not from pain. Golden eyes opened, flashing green fire as the lamp's light hit his pupils. "Ki-kyo?" Wide-eyed, his gaze settled on her face. "You're – not – dead?"
"Tell me what happened to the Shikon No Tama, Inuyasha."
His eyes moved examining her face. "Alive…" he breathed. "Korana? The – villagers? Are they – alive?"
"Yes, yes, they're alive. All of them," she said impatiently. "Now tell me what happened to the jewel."
He stared at her face for a long moment. "Alive." His whisper trembled, and a small, gentle smile graced his face. "My wish…" His eyelids starting droop. "My wish—came true…" His eyes slid shut.
"Damn it, Inuyasha, stay awake!" she hissed, shaking him again. "Inuyasha!"
He gasped, eyes snapping open again. She felt his shoulders jerk under her hold, and his face twisted in pain. "Ki- kyo, I – urr – damn – this – hurts!" His teeth locked against a groan.
A distant part of her was horrified at what she was doing, but the sane part of her was not in control. "Tell me what I want to know!" she demanded, her fingers digging into his burned shoulders. "Tell me what happened to the Shikon No Tama!"
"G-gone." He coughed a little. "P-puri-fied…"
"How?" she demanded. "You're only a hanyo—you couldn't have done it alone!" She shook him a little. "Kaede told me you started to turn youkai the first time you held it. The second time you took it, you collapsed. Don't try and tell me it was simply your wish that purified it!"
He coughed again. "N-no," he whispered, fighting for air. "Wish wasn't – quite – enough. Wanting – to be – youkai – or demon – kept taint." A strangled grunt came through his throat as his body twitched. "She – joined our souls – her sword – purified the demon – she – thanked me – Modoriko … saved … me …"
Modoriko! Kikyo gasped, letting go and sitting back in shock. The chief of the demon slayer village had told her what he knew about the jewel's history, when he gave it to her to protect and purify. But she had never told Inuyasha any of that history. To know the identity of the human half of the Shikon No Tama could only mean that he had somehow awakened the souls to awareness. But his part-human soul, combined with Modoriko's had been sufficient to purify the demonic soul? It didn't seem possible!
"Ki-kyo…"
She looked down. His eyes were tightly shut, as blood trickled out of his mouth. "Sorry – couldn't – turn – human," he gasped. "You'll – find – better – "
He gagged, then choked. He convulsed, vomiting blood. His half-youkai aura pulsed, then collapsed. His body went limp.
For a moment longer, the obsession born of her last thoughts as she died held her. Then it shattered under a wave of fear and horrified love. Inuyasha—no! She snatched his body and held it close. You can't die on me! But she could feel the youkai blood within him crumbling, dissipating like a drift of snow on a warm day. She could feel the remnants of the spirit power – hers and the Shikon No Tama's – still drifting through his body like a thousand tiny drops of mist, each drop dissolving the demonic energy around it, leaving it as rotten ice, ready to fall apart at the slightest pressure. "I won't let you!"
There was no training that could tell her what to do. There was no detached, remote miko reasoning to follow. There was only human need, human desire and human fear. Holding his body close with her left arm, she pushed her right hand under the bandages around his chest, until her fingers rested above his heart. She could sense his soul, starting to drift as its ties to the body faded. Don't you dare! She thought fiercely to it. You will stay! She concentrated on the pale, pink-flushed mist of power that was destroying him. Come! she demanded with all her will. Return to me! You will not purify this hanyo!
Nothing seemed to happen for a long moment. Then, something like needles began to stab her fingertips, over and over again. She ignored the pain, denied the pain, and continued to pull on the spirit power. Her hand began to burn, feeling as if fire were crawling up her fingertips to her palm. Hotter and hotter the fire became, as if the power collecting in her hand could find nowhere to go. But she would not relent, not give in. She would draw it out – all of it out, no matter what the cost! She owed him this; her failure to trust that had caused her to attack him, weakening and slowing him before the fight with Naraku. She could not let him die and live with herself! She could not!
Something cool and hard touched the back of her hand. The fire in her hand abruptly began to move, draining into the item. A long, lean object began to blaze within her awareness—a familiar object. Gasping a little at the sudden release in heat, Kikyo fought to keep drawing on the power. The cascade of needles continued to stab her for long moments, before beginning to fade. Her heart lurched in fear that she was failing. But the intensity of the incoming power continued to fade, until it became a trickle, and then – nothing.
Blinking away sweat in her eyes, Kikyo looked down at the hanyo. There was no awareness in the half-lidded eyes. She could see no movement in his chest. Tears began to fill her eyes. She had failed Inuyasha. She had failed him twice—
Then she felt it, beneath her fingertips. A faint thump. Then another. A third. The body twitched, gasped, and coughed, ejecting more blood from the slack mouth. It gasped again, and the youkai aura flashed back into existence, pulsing once, twice, before slumping into low, barely tangible presence. The body sighed, then relaxed, eyelids drooping shut, as she felt the heartbeat settle into a slow but steady rhythm.
Kikyo's shoulders slumped in relief, followed by a wave of exhaustion. She worked her hand out from under the bandages, knocking the glowing, burning arrow from where it rested against the back of her wrist to the ground. She shifted her hold so that his head rested against her shoulder, even as fresh tears gathered and fell down her cheeks. He was alive, thank all the gods. They were both alive—
Something touched the top of her head. Take good care of him, young miko, said a woman's voice inside her head. He may be hanyo, but he has a good heart.
She might have argued with the voice, that she didn't need to be told that, but she was too tired. He was hanyo, forever hanyo, and she was human—and a miko. What that meant to their future, she didn't know, and at the moment, didn't care. She leaned her cheek against the top of his head. All that mattered was that they were both alive. And together.
Epilogue
Kaede blinked, wondering what she was doing kneeling across the futon from her sister and the hanyo. And what an arrow, brightly glowing, was doing lying on top of the cover. She could vaguely recall having a dream, something involving a strangely-garbed priestess, but how that explained her current position, she didn't know.
Yawning, she reached over and picked up the arrow, then stood up and walked across the room. She started to place it in the quiver, then changed her mind and leaned it against the wall. Returning to the pair, she studied them a moment. "You're going to get an awful crick in the neck, sleeping like that," she told her sister. Spotting the washcloth, she retrieved it, rinsed it out, then started cleaning the blood off Inuyasha's face. His eyebrows twitched, drawing together. "It's just me—Kaede," she told the hanyo. "You're perfectly safe—don't try to wake up."
He sighed, his face relaxing as she continued her ministrations. Dropping the cloth back into the water, Kaede carefully felt for his pulse, then eyed the bandages on his shoulders with some misgiving. Blood was evident on the bandages, but in an odd pattern that suggested fingers. She wondered what had gone on while she was asleep. At least, whatever it was, it seemed to have left the hanyo in better condition that he'd been when she'd fallen asleep. He didn't seem as—transparent—as before. Looked less as if part of him was simply going to fade away.
Deciding that someone should stay awake, Kaede resumed her position next to the futon, sitting cross-legged, and cupping her chin in her hands. Studying the two faces, she wondered what was going to happen, now that the Shikon no Tama was gone. Was her sister going to let herself be more like other women now? She'd looked so beautiful, those times Kaede had caught glimpses of her, late at night, using the shell of lip-stain Inuyasha had given her. She hoped Kikyo would let herself show that more.
She wondered if her sister would end up marrying the hanyo. Surely the villagers couldn't object, could they? After all lives he had saved?
Kaede studied the hanyo's lacerated skull, and hoped fiercely that his ears would grow back. Not that she was ever going to tell him, but she thought his ears were cute.
And she kind of liked him. He'd saved her life that time, taking down that centipede demon with a single blow. It was hard not to like someone who did that, even if he was rude.
If he married her sister, wouldn't that make him a sort of big brother?
She wouldn't mind that.
Even if he was a hanyo.
Author's Note: Finally! This story's done. Sorry to take so long, but between having a horribly time-consuming project at work, and this chapter's stubborn refusal to gel, it's taken awhile.
This story is done, but I do hope to write more stories in this 'alternate history.' After all, now that I've taken this branch, there are lots of questions. Can Kikyo and Inuyasha manage to stay together, in a violent society that hates and fears hanyos? Does Inuyasha get Tessaiga? Will there be differences in the relationship between Inuyasha and his brother Sesshomaru? Will any of the other characters from the series show up? Stay tuned… :)