Dark, So Dark
Sutoomu
This is another fic I've started writing while my internet connection was down. It was originally a drabble written on random pieces of lined paper long ago when I just started writing GW fics, and now it's blossomed over the past months into this! The fic 'Dark, So Dark'. I hope you like this first chapter, since I've been waiting a long time to post this. This is one of the first fics where I've gotten a bit braver in the intimacy and stuff, so I hope you enjoy it all, and review when you finish reading it, please. Ask me questions. I like questions. And I reply to every review I get, 'cause reviewers are special and important! And if I get reviews, I'll post the next chapter, and then the next, because I have at least five prepared and ready to go!
Enjoy, please!
'Dark, so dark.'
He closed his eyes, trying to shut the darkness out. It passed through his eyelids, persisting in its relentless torture. 'Dark...too dark!' A silent scream echoed in his mind as he began to panic. It stopped suddenly, and he relaxed, the reason how he was able to as known to him as the inside of a black hole. Wait...he knew. he knew the inside of a black hole. It was dark and cold. He was in the black hole, the black hole of death. He was in the dark, and it was so very cold. He shivered, sitting on the cold cement floor, his knees tucked under his chin, trembling with cold and fear.
His senses heightened and he lifted his head, eyes wide. 'No. No!' They were back. They came back! The whispers...whispers of the dead. 'No, no, no, no...go away!' His mind screamed. 'Go away! Get out! No! Leave me alone!' They whisper in his head. He's grabbed his head with his hands now, pushing, trying to push them out. They laugh, and he cries, clawing at his chest, trying to stop! To stop...stop feeling them! 'It hurts, oh, Allah, it hurts!' They laugh, but it is filled with pain, hurting his mind, his heart. 'It hurts...,' he whimpers. It seems to get stronger at this statement. 'No..no, I can't...can't...stand it!' He screams, the pain growing every second it goes on. Oh the pain...! The darkness is closing on him, crushing him, and he screams again.
'Dark, so dark.'
He gasped, tearing his blue eyes open. They darted around nervously. He felt the carpet beneath him and looked up at the not-quite-white color of the ceiling. He was in the livingroom...but how did he get here? He heard a sudden pounding from above him, the sound of a door hitting the wall, and then footsteps descending stairs rapidly. More doors slam open, more steps...
He realized he was trembling, shaking, and covered in sweat. Fear lingered in his mind, erasing the calm, happy little angel. He closed his eyes, trying to remember...'No! Don't remember! Run, hide! Quickly! Don't remember!' He heard someone saying something...his name? What was his name? Quatre? That's right, Quatre. He sighed, then screamed and pulled away as something suddenly touched his arm, jerking his eyes open.
"Quatre?"
Quatre looked up at a face...a face he knew. Who...? "Tr-trowa?" He blinked nervously, as if trying to attempt to shut out the still present feeling of darkness and see Trowa at the same time.
"Quatre, koi, what's wrong?" Trowa asked, tenderly brushing back Quatre's golden white bangs. Quatre swallowed, then reached up towards Trowa as though a little child. Trowa took his arms and pulled the violently trembling boy close to him, stroking his back.
"Quat!"
Quatre could see Duo now, still with a gun in his hand and clad in boxers. Heero was behind him, a gun still aimed at whatever invisible danger might be in the room, also clad in boxers but with a loose shirt on. Wufei had just entered, wearing a pair of loose white pajama pants.
"What's wrong, koishii?" Trowa asked again. "Hush, shh. It's okay, little one." He set his cheek on Quatre's head.
Quatre realized he was crying now, and in front of his love and friends! But, for some reason, he didn't care a bit. To hell with all that 'boys don't cry' shit! Quatre sat, crying silently and trembling in Trowa's arms, his lover's strong arms around him, stroking his back in comfort. He felt Duo's caring hand on his shoulder and unconsciously thanked his best friend. Even Heero and Wufei stood nearby, looking on in concern, as he cried into Trowa's chest.
Finally, his sobs stopped, and he sat hiccuping for a while before shifting. Trowa adjusted to him, and Quatre ended up sitting with his back against Trowa's chest and his head resting on his shoulder, Trowa's arms wrapped around his waist.
"Koi?" Trowa suddenly whispered, brushing a kiss on Quatre's temple. "Are you alright?"
Alright? No. He was cold, and it was dark and lonely, and he was hungry, oh, so hungry! And thirsty. He tried to remember when he had last eaten or drank. It seemed like forever. "I'm thirsty," he croaked through cracked lips. It stung from the salt of his tears. How had he gotten cracked lips? "And hungry!"
"Me an' Wuffers will make you a big night time snack right away, 'kay?" Duo assured him, trying to smile through his worry and concern. "You just relax." He reluctantly stood up and left, Wufei following. Wufei hadn't argued Duo's nickname for him for once, which meant genuine concern from the chinese boy.
"H-how...did I get...here?" Quatre asked, still shaking and swallowing from a parched throat.
"You fell asleep on the couch early this evening and looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake you," Trowa looked to the side in thought. "Maybe I should have..."
Quatre leaned closer to his koi to reassure him he had no fault. He would have said so, but talking hurt his throat. Wufei came in with a tall glass of cool, clear water and Quatre drank it all thirstily without pausing for breath. Wufei took the glass and returned to the kitchen.
"Little one," Trowa said softly, then kissed him on the back of his ear. Quatre was too tired to giggle like he usually did when Trowa did that to him, since he was very ticklish there, but he did try to smile, failing. His eyelids were so heavy! But he couldn't close them. 'No! Run, hide! Quickly!'
Trowa felt Quatre flinch and struggle for a moment, battling with something he saw when he closed his eyes. "Quatre!" he said, snapping the boy back to reality. Quatre remained tense for a few moments before relaxing into Trowa again, breathing him in. He was still trembling, but not as bad as before. It was like an involuntary body movement.
"Snacks on the table," Duo came in, placing himself at Quatre's side. "Come on, Q-man, let's get you fed."
Trowa and Duo lifted Quatre to his feet. He stepped forward a step before collapsing suddenly, unable to walk. Trowa simply lifted him into his arms like a baby, like the first night they had spent together, and carried him to the kitchen. Quatre flushed red as he thought how weak he must look. He hated looking weak. Trowa placed him on a chair, setting his own chair close to it. He laid his arm around Quatre in extra support.
"It's cold," Quatre said. Heero left the room and quickly returned with a quilt, draping it over Quatre's shoulders. "And so dark." This was whispered so low they nearly missed it. Wufei flicked on all the lights in the kitchen, flooding the room with light. Duo placed a heap of pre-cooked sausages, garlic bread, and ice cream on the table. None of the others ate as Quatre ate three sausages, the near whole garlic bread, and half the carton of ice cream.
"Wow," Wufei said, trying to lighten the mood. "You eat almost as much as Maxwell." He snorted.
"I do have a name, Changles," Duo returned as per usual, loads of retort dripping from his words.
"Baka," Wufei growled, about to start an argument. "You..."
He was interupted by Trowa. "I'm going to take him to bed now," he said as he pulled the wet spoon out of Quatre's mouth, whose hand had lost its mobility while it was still in his mouth. His head was drooping slowly towards the container of sticky ice cream. Trowa picked him up and he stirred.
"I don' wanna go ta bed," he mumbled into Trowa's shirt. He snuggled closer to Trowa, half asleep, and smiled for the first time since he had woken everyone up. Trowa brought him to their room and sat him on the bed. He gently changed his koi from his jeans and button up shirt into smooth, clean pajamas and slipped him into the bed. Trowa slipped in beside him, gathering him close in his arms. Quatre mumbled something into his chest, then sighed and cuddled as close as possible. Trowa heard and felt the slow, even breaths soon as Quatre fell asleep, but he could only lie awake and ponder what made his angel so frightened he still trembled slightly while peacefully asleep.
OOOOO
Duo stared long at the door after Trowa had left with Quatre until an arm grabbed his waist firmly and pulled him up out of his chair. Heero's lips pressed against his, surprising him a bit.
"Come to bed, baka," Heero breathed into his ear, saying the insult in a way only Duo ever heard. "Trowa will make sure Quatre's fine." He twined his fingers round Duo's and led him off, leaving Wufei to stare at the table and listen to the clock ticking...
They entered their room and Duo sat in Heero's lap, Heero stroking his long hair. Heero loved Duo's hair. Duo sighed suddenly, and his body hiccuped as a small sob came through. He cut it off, but too late. Heero reached his arms around his chest and pulled Duo closer to him. "What?" he said simply.
"Nothing, Hee-chan," the american shrugged, back in control.
"Hn," Heero grunted, squeezing Duo a bit.
Duo winced as his skin protested. He loved Heero, and knew Heero loved him back, but the stoic pilot could still be rather rough sometimes. Accidentally, of course. "I...it just...hurts to see Quatre in so much pain like that," he said, struggling to mantain control of his emotions. He was painfully aware of the extreme silence that followed. He fully expected Heero to push him away and tell him to toughen up. What happened surprised him.
"I know," Heero finally said. "It does hurt."
"You know?" Duo twisted to see Heero. Heero 'hn-ed' and looked at Duo with open eyes, full of emotion. Worry, pain, concern...love...and fear? Was that apprehension? The 'perfect soldier' was afraid? Duo could've cried for joy, but he knew that would scare Heero back into his shell. "He just seems so innocent," Duo said instead.
Heero snorted. "Quatre is anything but innocent," he said. "He's killed people, in and out of a gundam, he's damn good with knives and strategies, and he has Trowa. Anything but innocent."
"Yah, but still...," Duo replied. "With his big blue eyes and gorgeous golden white hair and shorter stature..." He cut off as Heero's grip tightened possessively. "Aaw, Hee-chan, you jealous?"
"No," Heero grunted. He let go and prodded Duo up, a bad sign. Duo moved quickly to rectify the situation.
Duo turned and pressed his lips tightly onto Heero's, tasting his salty sweet taste. "You know I could only ever love you, Heero," he murmured affectionately. Heero looked at him, then drew him forward into a bruising kiss. Duo opened his mouth and Heero's tongue swept in, battling with his own. They parted for breath and Duo breathed heavily as Heero slid a hand down his bare chest to his hip The simple touch sent shivers throughout Duo's body and he welcomed it, pulling Heero's shirt off and meeting his mouth again as he slid down and their skin touched.
Well, did you like it? Was it boring? What did you like? Want more? Please review and ask me anything. But be nice, please. Critisicm is welcome, as long as it has praise in it as well. Otherwise, it's depressing and a flame. Review, please!
Storm