Author-Emily-Grace Mendes (Brookebynature)

Discalimer- I don't own any of the characters or the song featured in this fic...

A/N- Another Brucas one shot from me! Yay! lol. I love writing these things so much, so if you read it, please REVIEW!. It just makes it seem that much more worthwhile. (I don't wanna sound like I'm pleading for reviews lol)

Enjoy xxx

Konstantine

I can't imagine all the people that you know
And the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low

He wished she would turn into him, let him hold her, tell him what she was feeling. But she didn't. She had barely caught her breath before she wrapped the sheets around her slim body, as she silently made her way to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. He sunk his head into the pillow, listening to the soothing sound of water from the shower drumming against the white tiles. A few minutes later, he heard the familiar sound of the towel being pulled off the rail. The door opened a few inches, and she made her way, once again in silence, around the bedroom, picking up various items of clothing off the floor, never even turning her head to see him laying there, watching her. He knew they weren't friends anymore. He had wanted her, to have her body and devour it like he did each time they did this, hold her when they'd finished, kiss her and tell her that he loved her. But he hadn't gotten what he wanted. He wanted her, but he got her body. They were something much worse than friends.

Some would have called it 'friends with benefits' but he knew that was wrong. They didn't have the 'friend' part. He didn't know if it stemmed from what he did to her with Peyton, or if it was the whole Felix thing, or even something else. She didn't tell him. Did he really want to know what was going on?

He wasn't sure, but he wanted to be there for her, help her and talk to her when she needed it. No words were ever exchanged between the two.

And I don't understand
All the things you've seen

Was it something that he missed that had caused this between them? Did he really need to understand?

"Don't ask questions you don't want answers to" she'd told him the first time they had done this, the empty feeling consuming him, along with guilt, hope, disappointment.

And you tell me
That it's over

She knew he wanted more than this, that he wanted her. He said that if it was only going to be sex, then he didn't want to know, because trying not to love her was too hard.

But I can't stand here in a patch of four leaf clovers

She didn't know what she was supposed to do. She didn't want to let herself believe that she wanted him too, because that was too hard to figure out. It was easier this way, but she couldn't stand to loose the contact that they had.

And your restless
And I'm naked
You've got to get out
You can't stand to see me shaking

"I can't do this any more Brooke. Not to you, or myself. It's not fair" She held the sheets tightly around her thin frame, pulling them closer to stop herself from shivering. He turned to leave, walking a few paces, but then walked back again, pulling her to him.

No, could you let me go?
I didn't think so

He held her for a few seconds, but then she pulled out of his embrace, heading once again, for the safe haven of the bathroom.

And you don't want to be here in the future
So you say
The present's just a pleasant
Interruption to the past

"This is the last time" she whispered, sweaty and breathless, with a look of pain in her eyes. It wasn't what she wanted either. She didn't want to be running scared, hiding from the truth, but yet she was, and in two words, she'd told him that too.

"I'm leaving"

And you don't want to look much closer
'Cause you're afraid to find out all the hope
That you had sent into the sky by now had... Crashed

He'd expected it, but he had hoped that it wouldn't happen. He didn't even want to know why she was leaving. Afraid to find out what the answer would be.

And it did because of me

She'd spent time on her own before, but nothing like this. She was alone, with nothing and no one. Life for her was hard. The streets sometimes seemed more appealing than the crumby little apartment she shared with her 'boyfriend.'

She'd gone out one night to a club. The first night in weeks that she'd been able to afford a couple drinks on her own. And that's when he'd seen her. Frail and fragile, nursing a cocktail at the bar. She had bruises on her arms, and a small cut just above her lip. But to him, she still looked beautiful.

He begged her to tell him what happened, but she sat there in silence, biting her bottom lip and twirling to cocktail stick in her fingers. Tears welled in her eyes, but she didn't bring them up to meet his. He pulled her to him, stroking her hair and whispering that he wouldn't leave her, and that she was coming home with him.

And then you bring me home
Afraid to find out that you're alone,

"Thank you Lucas" she whispered as he placed the few items that she owned in his living room. He didn't say anything, but pulled her to him and kissed her forehead.

And I'm sleeping in your living room
But we don't have much room

To live

It had been hard at first, them living together. But in time, it had gotten easier. They had their morning routines, and they knew exactly what pissed the other off. But they wanted more. Both knew it. Both were too scared to admit it.

And I had dreams that I would learn to play guitar
Maybe cross the country
Become a rock star

He wanted to be with her so much. He loved to watch her do her hair in the bathroom mirror every morning as he was brushing his teeth. He would sit on the edge of the bath, recalling all the things they used to do together. All of the things that made him fell so alive when he was with her. He didn't have that now. Not properly.

And there was hope in me
That I could take you there
But damn it you're so young
But I don't think I care

He'd gotten to the point of almost telling her how he felt so many times. But every time he tried, it didn't seem right. He couldn't do that to her, bring up all the pain from their past. Yet in a selfish way, he wanted to. Because then at least he wouldn't be the one that had to defend being scared. He was terrified.

"I want to be with you Brooke"

And if I hurt you then I'm sorry
Please don't think that this was easy

But that was when she was leaving for California. It had just slipped out, and he had prayed that it would make her stay.

"I'm sorry Lucas. I have to go"

It didn't. "Bye"

And then you bring me home
'Cause we both know what its like to be alone,

But now they were there, living together, doing as best they could. It wasn't easy, it never would be.

She remembered how it felt to be in his arms. Safe. And now she was far from that.

And I'm dreaming in your living room
But we don't have much room
To live

"I don't know what to wear Luke" she whined, making that face that she used to do when she wanted him to kiss her and hold her and make it all better.

"Brooke, it's just lunch with my Mom" he laughed, not looking to see what she was wearing from her position on the stairs. "What do you have on now?"

"This"

She peeled off the dressing gown slowly, revealing a red underwear set as she cocked her eyebrow.

"Maybe" he gulped "maybe you should change"

Konstantine came walking down the stairs
Doesn't she look good
Standing in her underwear?

"Lucassssssss" she slurred, falling into him as he caught her, propping her up against him. She leant in to kiss him, his lips meeting hers voluntarily.

And I've been thinking, and I've thinking,
But she's been drinking
And it doesn't get me anywhere

But he pulled away, a guilty look in apparent in his crystal eyes. It wasn't right to take advantage of her. She was drunk.

My Konstantine came walking down the stairs
And all that I could do
Was touch her long brown hair

"It's my Grandfather" she stuttered, tears falling from her eyes. He knew what it was. Pulling her to him, he kissed to top of her hair, letting her cry into his chest.

"I'm here for you Brooke"

And I was thinking, what I was thinking you know
We've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere

Once again, he couldn't bring himself to tell her how he felt. It was a far cry from when they were together before she left. When they communicated only through their bodies. No words.

There still weren't any words. But there was no body communication either.

This is because I can spell konfusion with a 'K'
It's hard to like it

He played her the song, and she sat still and listened, taking every sentence, every word, every letter in. It was time to tell her.

It's to dying in another's arms
And why I had to try it

"If I hadn't done what I did with Peyton, then I wouldn't feel what I do for you. I know how much more our relationship means. And I'm sorry for how much it hurt you, but it made me realise that sometimes, you have what you need. You just have to look"

It's to jimmy eat world
And those nights in my car

"So did you feel it change?"

"Feel what change?"

"Everything"

He had felt it change. It changed because of her, the way he looked at things, the way he saw the world.

When the first star you see

May not be a star at all

Peyton. He thought that's who he was meant to be with. He'd seen her as the 'star' The only true person amongst his new found fame and popularity through joining the team.

But she wasn't. It was Brooke.

"I'm not your star?" she asked, a hurt expression on her face.

"No Brooke. You are"

I'm not your star?
Isn't that what you said
What you thought this song meant

She got up and left, couldn't stay any longer. Tears fell from her eyes and he sat there, wishing that things had gone differently.

She didn't talk to him, couldn't find the words to say. So they lived in silence, her ignoring him, him wanting to scream how much he loved her.

And if this is what it takes
Just to lie in my mistakes

He'd told her how he felt. It wasn't up to him now.

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"I don't want to talk to you, you're a liar and a cheater"

"How could you cheat on my with my best friend?"

"I never meant to hurt you Brooke"
"Well that doesn't really matter Lucas. Cause in the end it all hurts just the same"

And live with what I did to you
All the hell I put you through

Putting the last load of his laundry into the washer, he sighed. He had hurt her so badly, and all she'd wanted now, was to be protected, safe. He'd destroyed her chances of that.

I always catch the clock it's 11:11
And now you want to talk

She leant against the doorframe, absently mindedly twirling a strand of hair around her fingers.

"Can we talk Lucas?"

It's not hard to dream
You'll always be my Konstantine

He didn't know what she wanted to talk about, or even why. But he moved closer to her, taking her cold hand in his.

"You hurt me Lucas. So much. And I was afraid, I was starting to feel the same way about you as I had done the first time. And I couldn't handle being hurt like that again. So I ran"

He swallowed, inching closer to wipe her falling tears.

"But there were guys there, and they didn't hurt me like that. But they weren't you"

He closed his eyes, his heart pounding beneath his chest. He brought her hand up to feel his heart beat, and she shut her eyes too.

"But then they hurt me in a different way" Her voice cracked, but she finished her sentence. "And then you saved me"

They'll never hurt you like I do
No, They'll never hurt you like I do
No,

"I've made you cry so many times Brooke, and I'm so sorry."

He kissed her lightly on her forehead, and whispered good night.

"Good night Lucas"

This is to a girl who got into my head
With all these pretty things she did

There was something about her that made her stand out. It was all he could think about when he went to bed, and all he could think about when he woke up. The beauty of Brooke Davis.

Hey Baby, You know that you keep me up in bed

He could hear her voice when he shut his eyes, picture her face when he tried his best not do. But really, he wanted her there with him.

It's to a girl who got into my head
With all the fucked up things I did

All of the bad things that he'd done to her, all of the different ways he'd hurt her never left him. When he saw pain in her eyes, it reminded him of what he'd caused, and he hated himself for it. But even if the reminder of her was a bad one, it was a reminder all the same.

Hey maybe baby, you could keep me up in bed
My Konstantine

He imagined them being together, how their life would turn out, what their house and children would look like. But it hadn't worked out like that. They had a life. Not together, not a good life, but a life all the same. It just needed to get better.

Spin around me like a dream
We played out on this movie screen

It was ironic, the fact that their lives could be made into a movie. There was always so much drama, so many complications, so much crap from the past that was holding them back. All she had to do was be near him, and he felt like he might loose all self control.

She was back to her normal, cheery self. The part of her that he loved more than anything. He needed to tell her again.

And I said,
Did you know I miss you?

God I miss you

And that's when she placed her lips, slowly and gently on his, closing her eyes and getting lost in the electric feeling that it gave her. He moved closer, holding her to him, not wanting her to ever part from him, because if she did, then he might loose her again.

She broke apart, resting her forehead against his as she inhaled.

"I missed you too"

And then you bring me home
And we'll go to sleep but this time not alone,

Now they really had a life. A good one. One that they could set an example to their daughter with. A life filled with love, and security and happiness.

And you'll kiss me in our living room,

It made him so happy to just be with Brooke and their daughter. Happy to know that he didn't need anything else from life, that no matter what was thrown at him now, as long as he her and their daughter, he'd be fine.

Because I know that you missed me in your living room

And I think maybe that I missed you

In my living room

He hadn't wanted to admit to anyone how much he'd missed her when she'd gone. Or even how much he missed her when they just slept together. He wanted her and now he had her. She had him, and there wasn't anyone else, that either of them would rather have been with.

We don't have much room,

I said does anybody need that room?

She'd replied to his question with the answer he wanted, needed to hear.

"Of course I'll marry you Lucas Scott"

Because we all need a little more room

To live.

My Konstantine

Back to writing for 'Life Is What You Make It' ...