Beaches, Booze, and Falling

Chapter Five

Rory's eyes were still trained on Finn's and he was faltering. He knew he wouldn't be able to hold her gaze much longer. Her blue orbs were staring into him: piercing and searching as though she was waiting for him to elaborate. He wasn't going to. He couldn't. He didn't know the answer she was looking for. Was he really just another rich kid with a trust fund grateful only to Daddy's bank account? He suddenly felt like the little boy caught fooling around in the back of the classroom while the teacher was speaking. He looked away as he felt a slight rise in his cheeks.

As he kept his gaze in the surfers riding the waves he contemplated Rory's implication. He knew he was a partier. He knew he drank too much and too often. He knew that the way he treated women was wrong. He also knew that he attended his classes and passed them. He wasn't top of the class or anywhere near it, but he was passing with decent grades. He wasn't all that bad. Was he?

She was still looking at him that he knew. He could see her out of the corner of his eye. He expression was no longer searching. It was now more concerned and almost quizzical as though, dare he say it, she wasn't sure what to think of him anymore.

He wasn't sure whether this new development was a good thing or whether it was a bad thing. He wanted to be a good person in her eyes. He wanted her to like him. But, on the other hand, did he really want to have to redeem himself to someone who had such a low and set opinion of everything he was. Who did she think she was? She didn't even know anything about him yet she already made her judgement on him and everyone else that had money. They were all the same to her.

No, he thought, she's not worth it.

He couldn't believe that he had spent all of yesterday thinking about her, wanting her to know him when he should have realized that she had stereotyped him and all rich people as the devil incarnate. They were everything that was wrong in the world. He had thought she was different. He was wrong.

In a daze, Finn stood and without brushing himself off of sand walked away. He heard her call after him but didn't stop. Even as he walked away a little voice in his head could help wondering if he was being too rash that maybe she was indeed different. And just maybe she was right about him.

Hours later Finn found himself sitting at O'Riley's Pub with his friends. He had first started coming here when he was thirteen with James. At that time it had just been for hamburgers and fries. As they got older O'Riley, the pub owner from Ireland, started allowing them a beer. Now, even after all the years Finn was AWOL from home this was still the place his friends came to drink and unwind.

The pub was dimly lit and the air was thick with cigarette smoke and the stench of alcohol. It was well past the hour that teenagers haunted the place and was now filled with college students from the nearby university who didn't go home for their break.

He was sitting at a table alone. His friends were around somewhere presumable dancing to the live band that was set up on a makeshift stage for entertainment. While his friends were off having fun Finn sat staring morosely at an unopened bottle of beer that was placed on a bar napkin in front of him. He had almost opened it several times, but could never bring himself to actually open the twist cap of the bottle.

Try as he might he couldn't get Rory's words out of his head. He knew on some levels she was right. She was. All he did was party, drink and have sex. And here he was at a place he usually partied at with a dink in front of him. He had never questioned his life and how he lived it before now. His way of life had worked so well over the years, but now he wasn't so sure. It was surreal. All it took for him to question everything in his life was for a girl not to like him.

His eyes flickered unconsciously to the door for the umpteenth time already that night. He looked almost hopefully at the glass door as though he was expecting someone to show up. She wasn't coming. He knew that. He hadn't spoken to her since he left her at the beach that morning.

"You okay, Finn?" Jarrah asked as he slid into the seat across from him blocking Finn's view of the door.

Finn nodded and went back to staring at the beer bottle.

Jarrah sighed. "You're sure?"

Finn stared as a bead of condensation ran down the side of the glass bottle.

"Come-on, let's shoot a game of pool," he said cocking his head to the side where the rest of his friends were waiting. "Come-on," Jarrah repeated as he made his way to the pool table.

"Yeah, alright," Finn mumbled as he followed.

When he got there Ryan handed him a cue. "Lets see if you've gotten any worse."

The corner of Finn mouth tugged upward and with a roll of his eyes he leaned over and made his first shot sending the balls all over the table as he broke the ice.

"You have gotten better," Ryan commented dryly. "I think this is the first time you didn't scratch the table."

"You must have a lot of time to practice up at that American school you insist on attending," Jarrah added as he took his own shot. He pocketed a solid blue ball. He lined up his next shot and easily made the shot. He pocketed another ball.

"Almost as much as you," Finn shot back with a grin. Jarrah scowled.

He heard his brother laugh. James was holding a beer in one hand and his other was wrapped around Talia's waist as she surveyed the game. James however was looking at Finn much like Jarrah had been before—concerned.

"I'm fine," Finn said before James even asked.

"Dad's been on the phone all day. He's been calling universities here. He's serious this time, Finn."

Finn had already known that. His father had balled him and given him a choice of two school that would take him both of which were only a half hour from home, which is where his father told him he will be living.

"He's being ridiculous," was all Finn said.

"He's bringing you home, Finn. He's going to be on your case twenty-four hours a day. He's going to treat you like…"

"He's going to treat me like you."

The anger he had felt for his father the night before had slightly dissipated. He still didn't want to come home but he couldn't help but feel almost pleased at the prospect of his father paying attention to him. He couldn't remember that last time he had received this much attention from their father. It wasn't the type of attention he had always hoped to get from his father but it was attention none-the-less.

"He'll watch like a hawk, Finn."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I know you Finn, you love your freedom. If you move back home you'll have lost it all and you'll end up hating Dad even more than you already do," James said.

"I repeat, James, what can I do about it?"

"Stay in America."

Finn almost laughed out loud. "Just yesterday you were all mad at me for attending school in America. Now, you want me to stay there? I don't get you!"

"We wanted you to keep in touch," Talia said. "Not to forget us."

He knew that was true. He knew he should have kept in touch. He knew there were a lot of things he should have done but didn't.

"How am I supposed to get Dad to let me stay Jay?" he asked his brother.

"Make him think you've changed," he said.

"Or if you want to get really crazy," Talia said in a hushed tone as though divulging a secret, "you can really change."

Change. A word he had never thought so much about before yesterday. It was also something he had never seen himself doing until now.

"Its your shot Finn," Jarrah said.

Turning to take his shot Finn couldn't help but laugh. There were two balls left on the table.

"You really do have too much time on your hands, you know that," he said as he leaned forward for his shot.

-

Finn sucked in a deep breath and wiped his sweaty hands on his pants. He was nervous. He couldn't believe he was going to do this. Rory was right. He was everything she thought he was. That was going to change though. He wasn't going to be that guy anymore. He didn't want to be. He was going to change.

He couldn't help but imagine the blue-eyed girl looking up at him with an expression of affection and a smile that lit up her entire face. He shook the thought away and tried hard to tell himself that it was not for her that he was doing this. It was for his freedom.

He raised his hand and knocked on the door in front of him.

"Come in," Darren Rothschild's voice called from within.

This is it, Finn thought as he turned the knob on the door.

-

The next morning he was at the beach again. He was looking for her, of course. When he did find her amongst the crowds he was surprised. Her head was not buried deep in a book, as it was the previous days. She was just sitting there staring out at the ocean much like he had done the day before.

"Rory," he said as he approached her.

She jumped up. "I'm so sorry! I had no right to say those things to you."

He shook his head. "You're right you didn't."

She looked down ashamed. "I've just never, I've never had a good experience with anyone from your world. Even ones that start off good usually end badly. I always end up feeling inadequate. I feel like that even when its not directed at me but someone like me. I'm sorry. You might not be like that. I shouldn't have made that generalization."

Whatever he had been expecting to hear from her it wasn't this. He had been expecting a brush off.

"I don't want to be like that anymore," he told her.

She looked up at him with a look that seemed to hold a touch of pride. "Okay," she said.

-

A/N: I'm sorry it took so long for an update. I was on spring break all last week and everyday I tried to get something out, but my fingers and the keyboard refused to cooperate with me.

So this chapter did not go the way I wanted it. Actually, I didn't even write what I had planned. I started at point A on my way to point B but ended up at point D. The scene in the pub was supposed to be so much better. Originally I had planned for Rory to show up to tell Finn that she was wrong and that was supposed to make him want to change but as you can see that didn't happen. My dialogue sucks. It sounds so much better in my head then when I write it, it sounds like a twelve year old thought it up. It really doesn't help my self-esteem.