If Albus Only Knew...
Severus knew Albus wasn't omnipotent or omniscient, otherwise he would have gotten sacked months ago.
Especially since he'd been shagging the Head Girl for the better part of the school year.
A lot of shagging. Very, very good shagging, in fact.
It had all begun after the final battle, there was lots of embracing and such going on. Severus just happened to be close to the female member of the Golden Trio on the field strewn with the bodies of enemies and friends. And she launched herself at him, smothering him in a very restrictive embrace.
The two had worked closely with Professor Vector on a potions/arithmacy problem that Harry used to defeat the Dark Lord. When it was all over, Severus found that the bushy-haired know-it-all that caused him no end of pain was now a only slight less bushy-haired know-it-all who he actually found tolerable. More than tolerable, in fact, he had decided that he wanted to bed her, and perhaps wed her, assuming she continued to grow on him.
Hermione, contrary to popular belief, was a girl. A girl who really did enjoy attention. She had spent six years as a sidekick to boy-wonder, and frankly was ready to move on. Yes, she was the "smartest witch of her generation". Yes, she performed so well on her NEWTS that she was offered her choice of jobs after Hogwarts. Yes, she had gotten the Head Girl position, because really, who else was there even to compete for the honor? But what she wanted was Severus.
It amazed her how everyone could heap praise on her and tell her how intelligent she was and how mature she was, but still wanted her to date the children she went to school with.
As if.
Their first time back at Hogwarts would have been comical if their situation wasn't almost as secretive as Severus' spy activities. Halloween night he had been trying to sneak up to the Head Girl room, and she had been trying to sneak down into the dungeon. They met halfway, literally running into each other. After that, Hermione encouraged him to rely on their one unwilling compatriot.
No one had found out their secret, save one gangly red-head who caught them snogging in a spare room at the Ministry during the Celebration Ball. Granted, it had been a little discreet, but Severus' blamed it completely on Hermione's dress (or lack of dress).
Luckily, Hermione had caught the youngest boy Weasley practically screwing a certain werewolf's girlfriend earlier that summer. In return for not telling Remus how Tonks entertained herself during the full moon, Ron made sure the Marauder's Map was never an issue during Severus and Hermione's liaisons.
They had made it to the night before graduation. Severus surprised the eighteen year old witch with a muggle style diamond engagement ring, and as a graduation gift a pair of matching earrings. He slid the ring on her finger, and held her hair back when placed the studs in her ears.
His declaration that she looked ravishing wearing nothing but diamonds led to a much longer evening than originally planned.
Hermione announced she wanted to go back for the Gryffindor Farewell party, and Severus asked if she just wanted to leave. He held up a portkey and his resignation letter.
No one but Ron knew why the Head Girl and the Potions Professor failed to show up for the Graduation ceremony.
But it took Minerva over three weeks and many bags of lemon drops to calm the Headmaster down.
Six months later the Rue Bordeaux School for Witches and Wizards in New Orleans, Louisiana welcomed their new Potions Professor and his young wife, the new History of Magic Professor.
A/N: My silly little oneshot that has been sitting on my computer...Made me laugh, so I wanted to share!