Title: Seven Days

By: Me

Rating: All ages permitted.

Summary: Lois once again disrupts Clark's quiet lifestyle by deciding to visit the Kent Farm. To the latter's horror, Lois will be staying there for a whole week. In Seven days time, the two get to know each other a little better...amidst constant (and sometimes childish) quarrelling.

Distribution: Please do NOT post anywhere without my knowledge or consent.

Chapter 1 - Lois Arrives

Martha Kent stood stirring some soup in a pot over the stove. She was getting dinner ready in a bit of a hurry that day, because they were expecting one of their most frequent visitors -- the feisty Miss Lois Lane. She had called that morning and had asked if she could visit them for a while. To Jonathan and Martha, this was no problem. They were used to and loved having her around. Unfortunately, the same could not be said about Clark.

Martha smiled to herself as she remembered how easy Lois was able to get on Clark's nerves. If the two were left in a room together, one only had to count to ten before another petty argument would erupt. Though their yells and biting remarks towards each other gave Martha a slight headache once in a while, she didn't mind getting used to it.

What Martha liked most about Lois' visits, was the way she would conveniently drop in when Clark was at his dramatic worst. Lois was a good distraction when Clark was feeling blue or depressed over the feeling that he didn't belong anywhere. Lois' teases and sarcasm never gave him enough time to think about his problems. She was great therapy for Clark, Martha decided. Neither just knew how good they were for each other.

Still dwelling on these thoughts, Martha heard the familiar honk of a car horn resound from the yard. She looked outside to see Lois herself getting out of her car.

"Ohhh Clark, your best friend is here," Martha said, checking on the pie she had left in the oven. She knew Clark would hear her even though he was still in the shower. As expected, her son super speeded down the stairs and into the kitchen in about two seconds.

"Best friend my bu--"

"CLARK," Martha warned, turning around to look at him. Clark was stealthily peering through the curtains in the living room at Lois, who was in the middle of opening her trunk. A few seconds later, Jonathan came walking out of the barn, calling out a "Hello" to their guest. Shelby came running at his heels and leapt upon Lois, two paws on her stomach. "Hey Shelby!" Lois sneezed, cautiously patting the barking dog on his head. "Did you miss me?" She sneezed again.

"Go and help her with her luggage, Clark," Martha said, gently.

Clark turned to look at her, his face contorted with pain and dread. "Do I HAVE to?" Martha just raised her eyebrows at him. Looking as if he had just received his death sentence, Clark slowly opened the front door and walked out.

"...I'd help you with your bags, but I have to finish stacking up some hay before dinner..." Jonathan was saying, walking back into the barn. Shelby followed at his heels. Jonathan threw a meaningful glance towards Clark.

Lois smiled and waved at Jonathan. "It's all right, Mr. Kent, I'm sure I'll manage! Ain't that right, Smallville?" she asked, without turning around.

Clark stopped short on the steps. He swore that woman had eyes in the back of her head. "..How did you know I was--"

"I can smell your self-pity all the way from over here, Kent. Mind helping me with my luggage?" Lois finally turned around and graced Clark with one of her sparkling smiles.

Clark crouched his eyebrows and suddenly became inquiring. "Luggage? How long are you staying here?" he asked, walking down the front steps. He knew it was kind of late to ask, but his mom had forgotten to inform him. Oh please let it only be the night, he prayed.

"A week," Lois said, pulling out her purse from her car. Clark inwardly groaned and tried his best not to yell out a dramatic, "NOOOOOoooo..."

Lois put her hands to her hips, looking expectant. "Well? What are you waiting for?" Clark made a face and moved towards her trunk.

"ARGH! What do you have in here, Lois? A HIPPO?" Clark grunted, pulling out a large suitcase. It really wasn't that heavy (for a guy with super strength like him, of course), but he couldn't resist igniting another banter with Lois Lane. It had become like a sort of tradition for him. Lois would come and visit every month, and the first words that would escape from either one's mouths would be dripping with teasing sarcasm. Plus, it did him good to annoy her. Heck, she annoyed him enough as it is, so why couldn't he return the favor?

Lois, who was already walking towards the Kents' front door, called over her shoulder, "No, Smallville, that contains an elephant! The OTHER bag is the one with the hippo!"

Clark rolled his eyes as he took out the other two bags from the trunk. "What's in this one?" he shouted, indicating the blue duffel bag.

"A GIRAFFE!"

"Well,no wonder your luggage smells, you brought the whole zoo."

"HEY YOU WATCH THAT BIG MOUTH OF YOURS, KENT, OR I'LL--"

"Lois!"

Lois turned away from a smirking Clark and saw Martha standing with the door open, an amused expression on her face. "Mrs. Kent!" she said, finding herself enveloped in a pair of warm arms. "Thanks so much for having me over again."

Martha just smiled. "Oh honey, you're very welcome. Besides, it's always a JOY to have you around...Isn't that right, Clark?" she asked, calling out to her son. Clark was in the process of throwing two bags over his shoulders in a haphazard manner and taking the large suitcase in one hand.

"Yeah! BIG JOY!" he sarcastically agreed, attempting to take a step forwards.

Martha nodded in satisfaction. "Go ahead and make yourself at home, Lois. I just finished cooking dinner," she said, stepping back inside the house. She had expected Lois to follow her, but instead, Lois had turned back to Clark. Smiling knowingly, Martha let her be. It seemed that their guest had a few more words for her son.

"Hurry UP, Clarkness, we haven't got all day," Lois said, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Why don't you just go inside and leave me alone?" Clark growled. In reality, he wanted to stop pretending that the luggage was heavy, and to super speed towards his room -- Where Lois would be staying. AGAIN. Clark almost moaned out loud as he remembered that he would be sleeping on the couch for a whole week.

Lois laughed from the porch. "Nah, believe me, this is more fun than sniffing your mother's tasty food," she said. Clark glared at her as he fake-trudged across the front yard and heavily walked up the steps. Lois remained standing in front of the door, with that evil smile of hers. Clark cleared his throat and coughed a few times, but still, Lois didn't budge.

"LOIS!"

"WHAT!"

"MOVE!"

Suddenly, Martha's head appeared at the window. "Clark! Don't you ever address our guests in that way! Apologize," she said in a stern voice.

Clark's mouth fell open as Lois turned her face away to hide her giggles. "But MOM, she was--"

"NOW."

Clark, suitcase and duffel bags in hand, turned his eyes back to Lois, who was trying to look as hurt as possible. "AhshomolllyLos," he mumbled.

"Excuse me, what?" Lois asked, cupping her ear at him.

"I said 'I'm sorry, Lois.'"

"Hmm, didn't hear you, Smallville."

"I SAID I'M SORRY LOIS!"

"OKAY! YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT!"

"WELL, YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE, DO YOU!"

"YOU'RE SHOUTING AGAIN!"

"FINE! I'M SORRY!"

"FINE!"

"Fine."

"Fine."

They stood there for a few moments, just staring at each other heatedly. They didn't notice Martha walking away from the window and breaking into peals of laughter in the living room. She then proceeded into the kitchen, and out the back door to see if Jonathan had come back yet, shaking her head and smiling to herself.

After probably a minute, Clark cleared his throat again. "So are you going to let me in, or not?"

Lois up looked at the roof and seemed to think seriously about his question. "Hmm, let me think about that for a moment..."

"LOIS."

Lois laughed and stepped inside, leaving the door open for him. "Thanks," Clark mumbled, taking a step forwards. Before he knew it, however, he found himself stuck and unable to move. It seemed that Lois' large duffel bags were preventing him from going any further. "Uhhh...Lois?"

"What NOW, Clark?" Lois said, sounding exasperated. She turned around and found the situation farm boy was in. Her eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Er...help?" Clark said, trying to pull himself from the door frame.

Lois walked towards him and inspected the situation. "Well, well, Smallville, looks like you're stuck," she observed, a hand to her chin.

"When you're done stating the obvious...," Clark said, rolling his eyes. "Here, just take this suitcase and I'll try letting go of the duffel bags, all right?"

Lois readily obeyed, taking her large suitcase from Clark's hands, and dragging it into the hallway. She then watched as Clark tried taking off one of her duffel bags from his shoulder. Unfortunately, it had gotten tangled with the OTHER duffle bag's strap. Poor Clark didn't know what to do. "Ugh! Lois, why'd you have to bring so many stuff?" he asked, stamping a foot in annoyance.

"Oh, so it's MY fault that you're stuck and can't get out?" Lois asked, pointing to herself.

"Technically...yeah!" Clark replied.

Lois rolled her eyes and walked over to him. To Clark's surprise she took hold of one of the straps and proceeded to untangle it.

"What...are you doing," Clark suddenly asked, a little dazed by her perfume. He found himself a bit nervous by her closeness. He heard Lois snort in reply.

"Are you blind, Kent? I'm trying to help you out of this mess, that's what! After all," she said, suddenly looking up as she worked with the straps, "..I caused this, didn't I?" Clark couldn't help noticing that her nose was about two inches away from his. Lois grinned at him and turned her attention back to the duffle bags.

"There we go," she said after a while. Clark pushed the bag to his back so that his body would have enough space to get in the door. After trying another time, though, he still found difficulty. "Geez,Clark! Here, I'll help you!" Lois, looking annoyed, wrapped her arms around Clark's chest and pulled with all her might. "PULL!" she yelled.

"Lois, I think there's a much more better way of doing this--" Clark started. After all, he didn't want to end up tearing the straps off her bags, not to mention break the doorframe.

"Yeah, well, right now, this is the only way i can think of! Now pull!"

Meanwhile..Outside..

Martha waved as Jonathan walked into the backyard, dusting his hands. "Honey, dinner's ready. Lois and Clark are in the--"

"DAMMIT, PULL, KENT!" Lois' voice came ringing into the backyard. Jonathan looked at Martha, an eyebrow raised.

"I AM PULLING!" They heard Clark yell.

"WELL PULL HARDER! YES! COME ON BIG BOY YOU CAN DO IT, PULL!"

"ARRGHHHHH!"

Martha looked petrified. "Jonathan..what are they doing?" she asked, worried.

Jonathan started walking towards the back door of the house. "I don't know, sweetheart, but I think that we'd better find out," he said, his wife on his heels. "CLARK!" he called.

- KITCHEN -

Lois grunted one last time, and finally, Clark (bags and all) popped through the doorway and they tumbled into the hallway. This sudden release brought him stumbling into Lois, who still had her arms around his torso. Lois shrieked as they both fell, bags and all, down onto the floor.

Lois groaned and rolled over Clark, rubbing her head, which had previously hit the floor. That was going to leave a mark. Suddenly she realized that she was on top of farm boy, and pushed herself up to get off. Before she could, however, she was distracted.

"Hey, Clark. I've been meaning to ask you," she said, pressing her hands against his chest. "Do you work out?"

Clark blushed pink and stuttered, "Uh...no."

"HOLY WOW IS THIS A SIX PACK!" Lois asked again, this time feeling his abdomen. By now, she was straddling him.

"Come on, Lois, it's not like you haven't seen them before," Clark said, turning a darker shade of red at the memory. Or rather, MEMORIES.

"Yes, Smallville, but I've never felt them before. For all i know, they could've been fake. ("How can muscles..be FAKE?" Clark butted in) Shut up and stop lying, Kent. How can you get abs this SOLID without lifting some weights?"

Clark, who was getting increasingly uncomfortable in the awkward position they were in, and infinitely more embarrassed at the way Lois was touching him, cleared his throat loudly. "Uhmm, it must be the work i do around the farm, it builds up my mus--hey, why are we even having this conversation!"

"That's what we were wondering ourselves."

Lois turned around from her seat on Clark's chest and found Jonathan and Martha standing there, questioning looks on their faces. They seemed to be sizing up the situation. Lois quickly got off of Clark and held out a hand to help him up.

Clark closed his eyes and breathed in and out before speaking. "Mom. Dad. I got stuck in the doorway and Lois was helping me get in, but we ended up falling and--"

"I got kind of sidetracked by your son's exceptional pecks and biceps," Lois finished for him, in a nonchalant manner. Everyone stared at her, their eyebrows either crouched or raised. "What?...It's a compliment!" she said, gesturing her arms in emphasis.

Jonathan just smiled, and Martha started laughing. "I love it when you visit, sweetie. Less than ten minutes after you arrive and already something exciting has happened. Clark, take her bags upstairs and then wash up for dinner. You too, Jonathan," Martha said. Jonathan obeyed, walking over to the sink.

"I think I'll help poor Clarkie over here," Lois said, pulling the duffle bags which had caused so much trouble from Clark's shoulders. She hoisted them onto her own and glanced at the puzzled boy standing there. "YOU can have the suitcase," she said, walking out of the room, into the hallway, and up the stairs.

Clark let out a heavy sigh as soon as she was gone. He couldn't resist giving an embarrassed smile as his mother continued to laugh. "Mom..." he said, rolling his eyes. "It's not funny."

Martha smiled and began setting the table. "For you it isn't! Your father and I walked in here and thought you were..." Suddenly, she stopped, and stole a glance at Jonathan.

"..Thought we were what?" Clark asked, suddenly interested.

Jonathan sighed. "She was sitting on you, Clark," he quipped, wiping his hands and looking at his son.

Clark paused for a second, looked at Martha, and then back to Jonathan. "What, you thought that we were.." Realization dawned upon him. "...UGH! EW! IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GROSS AND WRONG!" he said, looking revolted at the very idea. Martha started laughing again, and this time, Jonathan joined her.

Lois entered the kitchen and was puzzled to find the Kents in the midst of hysterical laughter, and Clark with a disgusted look on his face. "What's so funny?" she grinned, although confused.

"LOIS!" Clark gave a start, and his parents stopped laughing.

"Hey Clark," Lois said, taking a seat. "I see you still haven't started on that suitcase. Is it really too heavy? I can help you bring it up the st--"

"NO!" The three Kents yelled. Lois looked taken aback at the volume of their voices. Clark was the first to recover. "Uh...I mean, no you don't have to do that. I can handle it, I was just telling my parents a uh...a...a knock-knock joke," he lied, looking nervous.

"Oh!" Lois folded her hands on the table and smiled. She looked up at him expectantly. "Well,let's hear it, then!"

Clark glanced at his parents hesitantly and shuffled his feet. Crap. He didn't even KNOW any knock-knock jokes. What the heck was he gonna do now?

"Come on, Clark, I'm waiting," Lois said, tapping her fingers loudly on the table.

Clark saw that his parents had stopped whatever they were doing to hear what he had to say. He sighed. Here goes nothing. "Uh...Knock, knock."

Lois smiled. "Who's there?"

"Uhmm...Clark..."

Lois raised an eyebrow. "..Clark Who..?"

"...Er...panicking...Clark Kent?" Clark said, a little confused. In about a second, his parents were laughing again. Clark shrugged at them.

Lois smiled, but looked puzzled all the same. "Boy, you guys suuure get entertained easily around here, don't you?" she asked, nodding her head with a weirded out look on her face. The provincial life was probably getting to them, she thought.

Clark opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, and closed his mouth again. "I'm going to take the suitcase upstairs," he said, without looking at Lois. He took the suitcase by its handle and strode out of the room purposefully, feeling baffled. Every second he spent with Lois Lane was so confusing. It was too much for a boy his age.

- DINNER TIME -

The kitchen was filled with lively chatter, as the women began cleaning up. Martha was washing the dishes, and Lois was helping her dry them. They were talking about Lois' plans to take up journalism as a major in college. Clark and Jonathan were outside locking the barn and all that farm jazz. When they got inside, the ladies had just finished the dishes and were wiping the table.

"Well, I think I'll head on up for my shower. You kids go ahead and stay up all night if you want. After all, it is Friday. Just remember to get ready for bed first. One of you might end up falling asleep during one of your movies," Jonathan said. After saying good-night to Lois, he went upstairs to take his shower. Soon after, Martha followed him.

"What were you thinking?" Martha said, as soon as she had gotten into their bedroom. "You know what happens when we leave those two alone together!"

Jonathan laughed from the bathroom. "Oh, stop worrying honey," he called.

Martha, however, was not satisfied. "Jonathan," she said very seriously, "They'll kill each other."

"Martha, I hardly think that Clark is capable of murder."

"You know what I mean!"

Jonathan walked out in his robe, an amused expression on his face. "Honey, come on. It'll be all right. Besides, Clark needs to get used to the fact that Lois isn't going to just stop dropping in to see us. It's normal for them to argue, " he thought about it for a moment, "In fact, if they DIDN'T argue, I'd think something was up."

Martha sighed. "You're right. It's just--"

"DON'T WORRY. Everything will be just fine. Really, how hard can watching movies until midnight be?" Jonathan asked.

- LIVING ROOM -

"Clark, will you stop being such an IDIOT and just PUT THE VIDEO IN!"

"sigh But I don't want to watch Pearl Harbor."

"It's either THAT or TITANIC, kid, so make your choice."

"And since when did i have to listen to you?"

"Since the moment i ARRIVED! NOW PUT. THE VIDEO. IN."

"NO."

"OH MY GOOOOOOOOSH, CLARK! FINE! What do YOU want to watch?"

Lois sat down on the couch and crossed her arms. Having changed into their pajamas, she and Clark had just returned from the kitchen with some popcorn and soda. They were currently in the middle of choosing a movie to watch. As usual, something as simple as that had turned into war.

Clark smiled to himself, rummaged around a drawer, and held up the videocassette of his choice.

"FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS! Are you inSANE? That's as boring as heck!" Lois exclaimed in protest.

"It is NOT boring!" Clark turned the video tape in his hands and started reading, "Ebert and Roeper give it two--"

"Who cares about Ebert and Roeper? TITANIC WON THE MOST ACADEMY AWARDS EVAAAR!"

"Uh, excuse me. I believe LORD OF THE RINGS won the most Academy--"

"TITANIC."

"LORD OF THE RINGS."

Lois rolled her eyes. "Oh, so you want to watch the Lord of the Rings now!"

"I didn't say that! I'm just telling you that it was the Lord of the Rings that won--"

"Fine, so let's watch Lord of the Rings."

"Fine."

"Fine."

Clark took out the LOTR trilogy and chose The Fellowship of the Ring. He was just about to put it into the VCR, when Lois shrieked.

"WAIT! Which one is that?" she asked importantly.

"The Fellowship of the--"

"Ew, change it, that one's as boring as heck."

"Lois. EVERYTHING to you is as boring as heck."

"IS NOT!"

"Oh, IS TOO!"

"CHANGE IT!"

"OKAY!"

Clark grumbled to himself as he took out The Two Towers and popped it into the VCR. God, that woman was so demanding. And the fact that he almost always succumbed to her will left Clark clueless. Why DID he always have to bend to her will? He decided to ask her.

"Hey, Lois?"

"What."

"Why do i always have to bend to your will?"

"Cuz I'm older, smarter, hotter, and oh yeah. I'm your guest," Lois grinned, putting a handful of popcorn into her mouth. She stretched her legs over Clark's lap (Great, now I'm her FOOTSTOOL Clark thought) and turned the volume up some more. "Now hush, i like this part where Orlando Bloom runs over the hill in all his elfin glory."

"His name is LEGOLAS, Lois."

"Whatever."

They sat there for a whole hour, Lois making funny observations, and Clark rolling his eyes for the majority of the time that his eyeballs started to ache. Like all LOTR movies, this one took incredibly long. But before Clark knew it, the credits were rolling. He half expected Lois to speak out and say, "Well, that sucked" or something like, "Titanic would have been way better", but she didn't. Curious, he turned to look at her. Lois Lane had fallen asleep. She had somehow curled herself into a ball without Clark noticing it, one hand tucked beneath her cheek, and her other arm wrapped around the popcorn bowl. Clark took the time to watch her sleep. He noticed with a smile that she was, for once, incredibly quiet.

Clark sighed, reached for the remote, and turned the TV off. He then proceeded to take the popcorn bowl away from Lois' hands. Then, slowly, gently, he easily picked her up in his strong arms and walked towards the stairs. The steps creaked slightly as Clark made his way up the stairs and headed for his room. He carefully deposited Lois onto the bed and pulled the covers over her. She looked so different when she had her eyes closed. Almost vulnerable. And pretty he unconsciously added. What? Clark mentally slapped himself. Did i just call Lois pretty! Shaking his head, and heading for his door, Clark whispered a silent good-night to the woman laying in his bed. Lois replied with a light snore.

Then, he quickly brushed his teeth, and headed downstairs with some pillows and a blanket. Clark sighed as he settled himself into the couch. He was just closing his eyes, when he sniffed. What was that? It smelled like...flowers. Clark pressed his nose against the couch. Suddenly, he realized that he was sniffing the place where Lois had leaned her back against. Ugh! What am i doing! He quickly refrained from sniffing any further and put a pillow over his head.