Her Fantasy Man

A/N: Don't own Inuyasha…sounds familiar huh? You wouldn't believe when I started writing up this chapter. Guess again. Ok, give up? Well just about an hour or so before I posted it. Yep, after all I am procrastination in the flesh. Other than the preview I was going by my outline of the plot. Oh and I had some fun playing around with Inuyasha, Miroku and Sesshoumaru…and boy do I wish. But it was just harmless little fun…poor Jaken. That's coming right after the preview for chapter four. Reviews or general comments are always appreciated.

Final Note: To the loyal and eager fans of My Best Friend, I'm going to try extra hard to get the next chapter out this coming week. I'm sorry for the wait. The next chapter I began right around late November by the obvious introduction but hit the dreadedwriter's block. Oh and thanks everyone for the reviews on that story and this one. Ok, enough blabbering on and on.

Chapter Three—Oh So Tempting

"But what if the bingo club calls?" Grandpa Higurashi asked.

Kagome stopped herself from rolling her eyes. "I'll be sure to tell them that you can't make—"

"Oh and—"

"I'll tell Myouga not to count his chickens just yet."

"And—"

"You have fresh clothes in your suitcase. I checked. But I don't see why you need them if you're just going to be gone for a few hours."

"I appreciate it but—"

"I'm taping it."

"I—"

"Makoto get into the car now. I'm burning gas here!" Uma Higurashi shouted from the bottom of the shrine steps.

Kagome cringed and her grandfather gulped. Boy could she look scary when aviated.

Uma was always the compassionate and generous woman but there was one thing that drove her crazy and that was wasting things.

Whether it is food, a decent pair of soaks or gas, it drove her nuts—sometimes. That and the guy from Young and Restless died before he could make love to his sweetheart.

"You uh better go." Kagome wisely said.

"Hold your horses, Uma. I'm coming. I'm coming. You young people it's all hurry, hurry, hurry, isn't it."

"Uh…"

"Furthermore I don't know how the old coot had to fall down the stairs and why I have to be the unfortunate one to visit him." The old man grumbled.

"That 'old coot' is your brother, remember gramps?"

Her grandfather just snorted. "I still don't see why he doesn't go into a nursing home. Old people these days…"

Kagome just blinked. Old people…right.

The rest of his words were mumbles as Souta carried their grandfather's suitcase and dumped it into the trunk. Uma beeped at her children and told them they'd be back around dinner time.

"And no throwing any wild parties either!" Makoto shouted from the car window just before he and his daughter-in-law sped off.

"So…" Souta blinked.

"Uhm…yeah…." His older sister replied while the two stood there sweat-dropping.

No words were really all that necessary.

…

It was just a little after six so her mother and grandfather would be back in less then ten minutes. Kagome had spent most of that time cleaning up, making herself a light snack and then readying the last details for her father's arrival party. During the past month Kazuma Higurashi had been overseas in China working on his latest assignment in governmental affairs.

It wasn't long after finishing her three things on her mental list before she had received a phone call from Ayumi, one of her closest friends since junior high who's now a successful romance writer.

"And he's so handsome, don't you think? He reminds me of the guy from my latest novel—which I based him on and the heroine is you." Ayumi said.

Kagome choked on her soda. "Come again? What did you say?"

Ayumi giggled. "Everyone knows you two like each other. What better way to show it but through sensual wording? I can just see it now. The sexual tensions, the fireworks when your lips meet, the tangling of satin sheets when you make wonderful love and—"

"Ayumi, let's keep the imagination in the fantasy world where it belongs."

The curly haired girl on the other side of the phone lightly snorted. "Why are you so cynical about romance these days, Higurashi? What happened to be I'll-loan-you-my-latest-novel-in-exchange-for-one-of-yours Kagome? I really, really miss her."

Kagome sighed. "Ayumi, that was a really long time ago, remember?"

Ayumi laughed merrily. "Oh Kagome, no one is not too old or too young to enjoy a good old fashion romance. And I'm not changing the two in my story so there. Which reminds me, did you see Inuyasha on television last night with his parents and Sesshoumaru? I was—"

Kagome stopped herself from rolling her eyes as Ayumi gushed about the Takahashi brothers but mostly about Inuyasha. Ok, so she could relate about how handsome Inuyasha is. After all she had fallen for the guy—once.

Twice.

It was bound to happen, or so Kagome felt looking back onto the pervious years they'd known one another. Kagome and Inuyasha had met long ago in Tokyo's most highly praised kindergarten.

Even though Kagome was nice and all, many of the demons were wary of her because of her spiritual powers—which she barely used or could control—and the humans were mostly nice to her because of their parents made sure they knew how influential her father is in Japan.

However there had been one boy who didn't shun her nor give her special treatment. Inuyasha had been a loner and she hadn't noticed him until her second day at school. He wore a hate covering, what Kagome would later discover were dog ears.

"Why do you wear that hat? Isn't it hot under there?" Kagome asked curiously.

"Go away. You're bothering me." Inuyasha snorted and glanced away from her before Kagome started tugging at the hat.

Kagome pouted then smiled impishly. "Now I really want to see what's under there. There must be something—"

"Would you let go, brat?" Inuyasha said, hoping tightly onto her hat.

Kagome latched onto his hat with her own hands. "I'm not a brat, you jerk. Now show me!"

"Never."

"Show me!"

"No!"

"Inuyasha!"

"No!" Inuyasha's hat came off as Kagome tumbled onto her bottom. She blinked at him, watching as the boy grew angrier and a bit depressed.

"You…you're ears…they're…." Kagome swallowed.

"Yeah, I know. You happy now, idiot? Go ahead laugh it up." Inuyasha turned away from her.

Inuyasha awaited the laughter and teasing that would surely come. It's not like he cared…well he did. But he wouldn't want to admit it. This would be his sixth school in three different cities, each time a 'Kagome' type of girl or guy would reveal his secret and his family would move.

"No don't go. I'm sorry but they're just so…so cute." Kagome finished, finally coming out of her daze.

Inuyasha stiffened and slowly looked at her. He smelt no lie coming from her nor did she look like she'd laugh or poke fun of him and his ears.

In those golden eyes was a look of confusion and hope. At the time Kagome didn't understand why he'd keep such cute things under wraps. She'd later learn that hanging around 'the hanyou,' would cause mayhem.

Inuyasha's fists collided into the jerk's face, knocking the guy and the lunch table right over. Several students gasped, the lunch ladies paused just as the boy cried out about his broken nose. They'd been in the eighth grade when this fight had broken out.

Kagome looked at Inuyasha and froze, the words 'thank you' were caught in her throat. There was something so primitive yet alluring about him. There were faint purple stripes on his cheek and his fangs looked a bit longer than usual. There was a low and almost faint growling coming from the back of his throat but his fangs, outstretched claws and murderous look was intimidating enough.

"Touch her again and you're dead. You got that, jackass?" Inuyasha threatened the older boy.

Yota stopped his wailing, brushed off his girlfriend and teammates' hands and nodded numbly. Earlier he had been foolishly flirting with Kagome up to the point that it should be filed under harassment when she didn't response to his liking. In other words he'd slammed her into the lunch room wall in the back of the cafeteria while his soon-to-be frat brothers cheered his on.

Kagome had been a bit unnerved, especially when the lunch aids were clueless of the situation. Being the reliable girl she is, she'd been about to kick him where the sun don't shine. But she never did get the chance for Inuyasha had come out of know where and saved the day—only to be scolded by both his parents and Kagome's grandfather.

Kagome remembered the day of their school dance like if it was just yesterday. Inuyasha had asked her, had it not been for Hojo's interference in coming out of know where to present her with her corsage, she would've said yes. She would've said yes to a lot of things when it came to Inuyasha. At times she found herself cursing Hojo's bad timing and her senses coming back when she least wanted them to.

Long before that fateful day of graduation night, even as a child she felt this sort of attraction, at the time it had been that of a childish crush not a full-blown—

Kagome nodded but then realized Ayumi was ranting onto another topic that consisted of her favorite daytime soap.

"Kagome, we're home." Uma called from the living room door.

Makoto walked into the room, with many grumbles and grunts about his ungrateful brother. He plopped in his favorite recliner with his work just as Kagome hung up the phone.

The old man sighed and looked at the folder filled with important documents and bills. "Let's see—hey!"

"No more working for you. You retired, remember?" Kagome said sternly.

"But the shrine needs me! Kazuma is unable to run it since he's into business affairs and your mother works at the daycare now. Plus Souta is far too young for this type of work and you are following into your father's path."

"I follow my own path, gramps." Kagome replied. "And besides the doctor told you to rest up some before getting back to work, remember?"

"I'm sixty-five years old, I am not an invalid!" Makoto snapped and then pouted pretty cutely for a man of his age.

"Of course you're not." Kagome reassured him but only received a snort in response from her grandfather.

"You know Tamika would never want you to work this hard." Uma whispered.

Her father-in-law's face softened at the name of his hospitalized wife. But he said, "Tamika knew the sort of man she was marrying."

"Thickheaded?" Both women chorused.

"No! Goal-oriented." Makoto said with a slight glare.

"Why set goals when you won't be around to see them achieved? She wouldn't want you working this hard, worrying endless about her to then point that you do too much work and little sleep. Nor would Kazuma. They wouldn't and neither do we." Uma said gently.

The old man scoffed and stood up, giving Kagome the folder and began to walk to his bedroom. "Forget a stroke; I'll surely die of boredom with you two around."

"So this is where everyone's at." A new male voice said from behind the three. Instantly they all gasped and turned around.

There by the door was Kazuma Higurashi and Souta, who had two small suitcases in hand, were standing. Uma smiled brightly and embraced her husband. She hadn't seen him in an entire month and they had much to catch up to.

Kazuma hugged Kagome next then looked at his father. "Aren't you going to give your favorite son a hug, pops?"

Makoto snorted. "Idiot, you're my only son."

"I love you too, old man." Kazuma said with a laugh and hugged his father tightly. Despite trying to pretend he wasn't the least bit affected, Makoto smiled and patted his son on the back.

"Welcome home, son." Makoto whispered.

…

The party was a sensual hit or so many of the people said it was. Everyone who knows or knows of the Higurashi family was there. But mostly people from the middle and especially upper class of Japan society including those dreaded reporters.

Exhausted, Kagome retired to her grandfather's office and sighed. She couldn't get a moment's peace with those busybody reporters and she had tired herself out by trying to avoid Inuyasha Takahashi all night long. Although he hadn't worked since he came in between her and a really aggressive reporter for Japan Times. Brought back memories. He had always been her hero since way back when.

With another sigh, Kagome decided she'd just wait out the few more hours in here with a good book and some television.

"Looks like you owe me, wench."

The deep voice came from behind her the very minute she closed her grandfather's office door. Her hand tightened around the doorknob while her body went on instant alert. Her hands trembled, her cheeks became a bit and her nipples tightened. She forced her fingers to let go of the knob and fought for a nice, easy breath.

Nice and easy. Kagome thought. That was the key where Inuyasha Takahashi was concerned. She knew that, but damn her body because if was obviously thinking of something else when those words came to mind.

And the last thing she considered him, with his good looks, his deep voice and golden eyes—not to mention those cute dog ears—, was nice. As for easy…nothing about him was easy, especially her reaction to him and avoiding the guy!

Kagome let out her breath slowly and turned, putting her back to her grandfather's closed door. "For the last time, my name's not wench, nor is it sweetheart, brown eyes, or any of those other names. And how do you figure I owe you?"

"I distinctly remember speaking those same words to you last night." How he said the last few words made it sound as if they were actually doing something other than bickering.

Seemingly to notice her train of thought, Inuyasha's golden eyes twinkled as he grinned down at her. One of his fingers touched the collar of her blouse, just the barest whisper of flesh against soft silk, yet the sound echoed in her ears. Her heart pounded faster and the warmth growing upon her cheeks intensified.

"You're passing on words of wisdom, so I figure I ought to get—"

Kagome scoffed. "I doubt you coined the phrase 'sweet dreams,'—"

"Don't forget 'lover,'" Inuyasha added and his smirk widen when her cheeks became even rosier.

Trying to regain her composure, Kagome glared at him. "The last I heard, you charged for architectural plans and importing goods, not words of wisdom."

"So I have." Then Inuyasha winked at her. "I'm turning over a new leaf so I guess you'll be my very first customer."

"Lucky me."

"You haven't gotten lucky just yet, sweetheart, but I'm working on it." His voice, so soft and teasing, slid into her ears and put every nerve in Kagome's body on major alert!

"I'm not…" The words remaining words got caught up in her throat.

"You're not…what?" Inuyasha whispered. His eyes, once again, began luring her into their deadly yet comforting grasp.

"I…" Don't just stand there gaping at him where's the witty comebacks here, Kagome?

Inuyasha not only taunted and annoyed her, but he stirred her anger even more than he stirred her hormones. Usually. But he was different now. He was soft, teasing, charming and…and nice.

Kagome paled. No, no, no, Kagome. Don't. Not again. Didn't you learn the last time?

Inuyasha frowned. "You okay? You look a little—"

"Sick? Pale?" Kagome nodded vigorously. "Yeah, suddenly I feel a bit funny."

"Sorry to hear that, but I was thinking more on the lines of you looking a little hot."

"Uh no." Kagome ran a finger beneath the edged of her collar and tried to calm her racing heart without him knowing but then again with his hearing…

Inuyasha took another step towards her, now they looked as if they were glued…Kagome kept her gaze leveled with the wall across the room instead of continuing gazing downward. She hardly had any breathing room, especially now.

"I uh I'm fine. Look at the time, I really should get going. I feel a bit sweaty so I'm going to go uh change. Maybe I should check the thermostat." Kagome laughed nervously and hoped he wouldn't detect the lie.

Something flickered in those golden eyes of his before that all too familiar lazy and alluring smile of his formed upon his lips.

"No, don't bother. Here, let me help you." Inuyasha said as one of his hands went to the top of her collar. Without much effort, he lifted her on top of the desk and slipped through her parted legs.

Kagome blushed furiously but Inuyasha didn't give her much time to be embarrassed or flustered for his lips descended upon hers and sure enough all she wanted was to kiss him back. Like in all those racy type of scenes on soap operas, the papers were pushed aside and the stapler and phone clattered onto the floor. Kagome's right leg curled slightly around Inuyasha's body and the softest of moans escaped her lips. Had anyone walked in on them there'd be no doubt what was going on!

Where was the innocent Kagome Higurashi? At the moment she was taking a siesta and her counterpart had come forth. In fact, Kagome was vaguely aware of his fingers upon the very first button of her blouse. Had she been herself Kagome's first instinct should've been to swat his hand away. He was intimately touching her, of all the things.

More importantly, there were people nearby. She could here laughter out in the hallway, voices and footsteps.

Surprisingly the sounds didn't stir the expected blot of panic. They fed her excitement. Her heart thunder and her blood pumped faster as Inuyasha moved to the second button of her blouse. The very thought of getting caught was almost as appealing as being in her current position.

"Yes, you surely do feel hot." Inuyasha said while his fingertips brushed against her skin again. "Don't you, Kagome."

Kagome's lips parted, the truth poised on the tip of her tongue

"Just get those nosey people out of here." Makoto grumbled, passing by the door. His voice knocked common sense back into Kagome just as Inuyasha's hands began to slide downwards to slide off her skirt.

Kagome turned her head, breaking the heated kiss and pushed Inuyasha off of her. Trying to keep her voice stern and not breathless, she said, "My buttons are fine where they are, Takahashi."

Kagome scolded herself for getting caught up in the moment. She was not a slave to her hormones nor was she a starry-eyed teenager anymore. She was a grown woman and she was going to start acting like it. Especially around him!

"W-What are you doing here anyways?" Kagome asked, trying to divert his attention from the motion of her shaky fingers. She forced down a deep breath, gathered up her courage and finished buttoning her shirt under his watchful gaze.

"Two reasons."

"And that would be?"

"Oh nothing much. Just the usual sweeping you off your feet and into my arms." Inuyasha smirked when he saw her glaring at him. "Just kidding, Miss. Serious."

"Would you be serious for a change?"

"I'm always serious. Actually I was invited, remember my dad and your dad knew each other around the time we were kids and our moms have been friends since their cradle years."

Sometimes I really wish they didn't know each other so well. "And the second reason, Takahashi?"

"Well my parents are having a little get-together in a while and seeing that I've got an extra invitation I thought I'd offer it to you."

Kagome raised an eyebrow and glanced at him suspiciously. "If I didn't know you any better, I'd say you were asking me out on a date."

Something unnamable flashed in those golden eyes of his before he smiled lazily at her. "My parents like you a lot and seeing that it's their anniversary why not invite their sometimes-I-wish-she-was-our-daughter to the party."

Kagome ignored a crazy twinge of disappointment. It wasn't that she didn't want him to ask her out. In fact, she wanted him as far away from her as possible so she'd keep her sanity in tack. She wasn't about to walk repeat what happened graduation night where she'd left the party for a walk and headed straight into his arms, loosing her head and…

Kagome blushed at the memory and cleared her throat, trying to sound neutral. "Oh yeah I forgot you weren't really aren't into the dating scene."

"And neither are you. Well at least not with me." Inuyasha said and slide the small invitation into her shirt pocket.

Kagome swallowed.

"At least once that is." His voice had become unbelievable huskier as it had just a few moments before as his fingers laid just above the lace edge of her bra.

"That wasn't a date. It was just—"

"Lust." Inuyasha finished for her. "You wanted me. You still want me."

"That's some confident words, Takahashi."

"Scents don't lie, remember Kagome?"

Lustful scents radiating off their bodies was what he meant and she knew. They both did.

Kagome wanted to refute his words but that would only invite trouble, the clashes of wits and tempers and eventually lips. Because in all her time in knowing Inuyasha, she knew he could find a way to take an argument and well turn it into what could've just happened.

Besides Kagome knew he was right. She wanted him. Always had for all her life it would seem. And that night that seemed not too long ago, she had indulged herself to some demonic loving. The thing is standing there with his so close, so masculine and so warm she was surprised she wasn't the one trying to jump his bones instead of the other way around. What hot-blooded woman wouldn't?

"Did you?" Inuyasha asked, bringing Kagome back to reality.

"Did I what?" Kagome asked and blushed when it looked as if he noticed she had been staring at him.

"Did you have sweet dreams?"

"Sweet dreams, lover."

The question brought up memories of the past. Lips tasting, eyes feasting, Hands exploring, bodies ignited into an all too familiar movement since the beginning of time…

Kagome cleared her throat and forced those memories in the back of her head. "I uh slept very well, thank you for asking."

Inuyasha smirked almost lecherously at her. "That's not what I'm talking about, sweetheart. When you went home and slid into those slinky red bra and panties, did they inspire sweet dreams?"

How did he know? Kagome thought and almost paled when he seemed to read her mind with a wide grin.

"Don't worry; I'm no peeping tom so I didn't know. I took a guess and judging from the flush creeping up on your cheeks, I'm right."

"I uh really should check on those guests." Kagome said quickly. "I really should get going."

"Me too." Inuyasha replied. Before she could pull away, he released her himself.

Kagome turned away and busied herself with finding a book from her Higurashi bookcase, which was said to have been started by her ancestors many centuries ago.

"So I'll see you this Saturday, ok?" Inuyasha said after a few seconds had gone by.

A refusal stalled in her throat for several aching heartbeats for her eyes lowered when he began to walk towards the door. Blue denim pushed and pulled in all the right places, accenting his muscular thighs and firm rare end.

Only one thing came to the young woman's mind and probably to ever woman who ever had the privilege to see from her view. Yum.

"…Casual." Inuyasha was saying when Kagome came back out of her lustful thoughts. "You don't have to dress up or nothing."

Kagome shook her head, eager to clear the lust and gather up the common sense she oddly still possessed.

"I'm not dressing at all." Kagome said.

Inuyasha tossed her a heated glance over his shoulder and smiled broadly. "Fine by me, sweetheart."

"N-No." Kagome sputtered, wishing he couldn't render her speechless with just one look.

Inuyasha raised an eyebrow and then pouted. "No? Damn it. You had me all fired up, Kagome."

"Stop playing around. You know what I meant, you pervert. I'm not dressing for the occasion because I'm not going. I appreciate the invite, really I am. Tell them I'm sorry but Happy Anniversary and I'll call them that day because I'm really, really busy that night."

Inuyasha didn't say anything for a moment before winking at her just as he headed for the door.

Kagome glared at his back. "I'm serious, Takahashi. I am really busy that night so I'm not—"

The sound of the door closing punctuated her refusal.

"—going…." Kagome finished despite she was alone in the room.

Preview of the Next Chapter

"Take me!" The Asian woman exclaimed and leapt into her lovers arms. Shortly after there was a love scene, so intense and tear jerking because of the pervious episode.

At this point Eri and Yuka were both silently weeping and Sango looked ready for her own set of tissues as well. However Ayumi was sobbing hysterically, about how romantic it was just before the commercial break. As soon as this happened they all brightened up with a box of chocolate Ayumi had brought.

Kagome sighed and thought back to that love scene. How the girl threw caution to the wind and gave into her impulses to be with her one true love.

I wish I was more like Namiko Tarsi. Kagome thought wistfully.

…

Inuyasha couldn't forget the dark, passionate look in her eyes when he'd cornered her earlier that day. The way she had licked her lips innocently, yet so seductively. The way she'd flushed a bright red when he'd touch her.

So where the hell was she?

Idiot…. Inuyasha sighed and closed his eyes briefly. Maybe I just made a great big ass of myself.

…

The deep chuckle sent tingles to her nipples and made her breath stop for a spilt second. She realized in an instant that Inuyasha was right behind her,

"You're too nervous." He whispered into her ears. "You have to relax."

Inuyasha stepped even closer, until she felt the warmth of his chest at her back. His arms came around her and one hand settled over hers while the other slid around her waist. And, as easily as that, Kagome found herself wrapped in Inuyasha Takahashi's arms.

Next Time: The Anniversary Party

A/N: Yes a short and choppy preview this time my dear readers. Be happy, I finished this chapter when I did. Or at least I'm happy. Ok and now for this chapter's bonus feature:

Entertainment Feature

Background voices: Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...

(Miroku, Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru are sitting in three different chairs on a stage)

Man: (Uses a low, deep and sarcastic tone) Miroku has a bunch of porno magazines underneath his bed...

Miroku: Damn straight.

Man: But they're only consisting of beauty, hairy old woman with saggy boobs.

Miroku: Ye—WHAT? (Pales and looks disgusted) That's a lie! They're all young and hair free other than their heads and ya know. And their boobs are very perky, thank you very much.

Man: Ssuuuurreee. Inuyasha owns the world's largest supply of Ramen...only to discover that there are all expired!

Inuyasha: …… (Faints)

Man: My sentiments exactly. Sesshoumaru smacked the doctor silly for mistaken him for a girl...yet he enjoys messing around with his mother's makeup when he was only two.

Sesshoumaru: That's a lie and you know it. She put it on me for a Halloween party and I made sure to clean it off before I left the house!

Man: (Snorts) Suuurreee! And I'm the King of Scotland.

Sesshoumaru: I don't know of what place you speak of but know this I'm going to kill you, you bastard!

Man: Sesshoumaru wore pink underwear on Father's Day to express his love for his adopted child Rin. And even allowed her to curl his hair…scary….

Sesshoumaru: (Blushes then grows angry) I-I don't give a damn about jail or 'the chair,' I'll skin you alive.

Man: Testy, testy. Inuyasha was spotted stripping at Kagome's bachelorette party and I have pictures. They'll look great on the net.

Inuyasha: What the—Miroku is the only one other than Kagome that knows. You traitor!

Miroku: I swear it's not me. Why would I blab about my 'books' with Sango near—oh shit.

Inuyasha: 'Oh shit' exactly. Your books are now being burned by Sango, Kagome's going to kill me if those pictures get on the Internet and Sesshoumaru will either die of embarrassment or kill the asshole then die.

Man: You're all so funny... (Giggles)...

Miroku: (Points to a slightly open door. All enter the sound room and discover...)

Jaken: Uh...there's a logical explanation--I swear!

Inuyasha: (Glares) You get his legs, I'll get his arms and makeup boy and you get his face.

Sesshoumaru: (left eye twitches)...

Jaken: No, no! I can explain! Someone call my lawyer. Call the police! Call 9-1-1! Call anyone! Just save meee!

Rin: Ok, Jaken-sama. (Picks up the phone and then panics) What number do you dial for 9-1-1, Jaken-sama? (Is clearly lying)

Jaken: (Screams and then is thrown into a trash bin)

Inuyasha: (Dusts his hands with a wide smirk) I feel better already! (Uses some sanitizer)

Miroku: (Pulls out book from his back pocket and begins to drool) And so do I.

Sesshoumaru: I'm getting a new companion. (A long line of ready and able toad demons follow him)

Inuyasha: (Flips through his pictures) Damn I look good…Aggh! Does this make me look fat? I told that photographer—oh who the hell am I kidding? I always look good.

Miroku: Yes…he's been hanging around conceited people lately. Everyone knows I am the best looking. (Grins)

Inuyasha: (BAM! Miroku is knocked upside his head) Keh. (Snorts)

Author: I am not responsible for their behavior. No animals were necessarily hurt in this production.

Jaken: (Has several bandages and a caste on while being wheeled into the room by his nurse) So what am I? Chop liver?

Author: (Raises an eyebrow) Do you really want me to answer that one? I thought so.