Well, it has been a LONG time since I even glanced at this fic. Personally I still love it because it was such a great idea when I first came up with it years ago, but I guess I should get off my lazy white ass and start working on it.

Oh, and sorry about the song last chapter, Fanfiction screwed it up. When I find the file again I'll fix it again so it looks somewhat better.

And forgive me for all my spelling mistakes last time, I was not use to typing back when I started and for the most part I don't really pay much attention when I type.

Oh, and we will be introducing another character into this known only as the Anti-Seto, he's just here to be Joey's lover since this is a yaoi story.

On with the fic!

And BTW, I still legally own the word 'man-wife' so please, don't steal.

Yugi and the Beast

Chapter Six: Dinner and the Meanie

After a while, and Yugi freaking out because he swore he heard Kaiba singing while he was asleep, the boy woke up hungry and pissed. But since he didn't want to see Yami at all, the guy took him away from his possessions at home; he was not going to leave his room.

In another room where Yami was walking around in front of the fire place, he growled, listening to Ishizu and Joey telling him that he needed to act nice to Yugi and not scare him so much.

"But I can't help it! That's how I'm written and portrayed to be!" Yami whined as he looked at the candle stick and the tea pot. It was odd seeing a man made of solid shadows and evil pouting like an angry little child, or Yugi if he's gets an epic fail on one his easy games.

"Now look here," Ishizu spoke as she jumped down, landing on a pillow, "you need to act like a real human, not some whinny teen who hasn't left his house in years!"

"Ouch… my pride… NOT!"

"SHUT UP."

Yami backed off a bit and Ishizu continued, and some how this porcelain tea pot is actually scaring a man who is made of pure darkness and gayness. Weird world huh?

"Now, stand straight."

Yami did.

"Look proud."

Yami did.

"Smile."

Yami didn't.

"Ah come on Master! You have to smile for the young lad!" Joey grinned as he looked at the other male in the room. Yami sighed and smirked rather then smiled. "You call that a smile?!"

"I don't smile, I smirk wax-for-nuts!"

"At least I have a lover!"

"You're lover is a green-haired psycho who runs around the castle naked!"

"He's you cousin!"

"…"

"…"

"Touché you little bitch…"

"I'm going to be a total and gullible moron and walk around a large castle that I have never been into my entire cute and diabolical life all by my self."

Yugi sighed after he got ready to leave the room, but before he did anything, he heard a knock at the door. "I'm naked!" He yelled, hoping that the black-guy from before didn't come in.

"No you're not! Open the door I have tea!" The person, a woman, outside the door yelled.

"What kinda tea?"

"A weird brown color that taste like drinking leaves!"

"Okay, come in." Yugi opened the door but screamed when he saw a cart come in on its own and he saw a tea pot and a tea cup looking at him, though all the other dishes and the cart itself had no eyes but they were alive at the same time as the other things.

Which makes no fucking sense!

"Okay, what the hell is going on, why are you alive? Am I in some weird show?"

"Well, because in the actual universe we are from allows me to break the forth wall, this is a fanfic based on the extremely confusing and award-winning 1991 Disney movie called Beauty and the Beast which is based on a French book. You are playing a girl by the way, also this castle is cursed but we can't do anything about it and I can't tell you anymore or Master will kick our butts. I'm Ishizu."

Yugi raised an eyebrow and looked at her. "Umm… I'm Yugi. And I'll take that tea; I haven't had anything in a few hours."

Ishizu nodded and filled the cup next to her. Yugi picked it up and saw it giggling. "Hi! I'm Ryo! Want to see me do a trick?!" The cup spoke in a British accent. Ryo held his breath and suddenly the tea bubbled, but he stopped when Ishizu told him to stop.

"Alright, so everything in here is cursed… does that mean that if I try to get undressed… you'll all look?"

Suddenly the wardrobe started to speak. "Of course not, we are a classy bunch, now the carpet might look though…" Yugi looked down and heard the carpet snicker so he spilt the hot tea on it, smirking when it screamed in pain.

"OW! DAMN YOU MARIK!" The carpet screamed and Yugi turned to see that that wardrobe was snickering. A knock was heard at the door and Yugi saw a clock walk in and bow.

"Dinner is served."

"So… what did he say?"

"Umm… do you really want me to say his words…?"

"Yes…"

"He said 'To hell with having a fucking dinner with the fucking bastard that took me from my home and my collection of video games! I was in the middle of fighting in the Halloween Town world on Kingdom Hearts II and now I'm stuck in this God forsaken hell hole of a castle! So my answer is no dip shit!' Sorry sir."

Yami stormed down the hallways of his castle on all fours like a dog, everyone screamed and moved out of the way as the master of his domain ran down the halls, though he ended up smacking into the wall next to Yugi's room.

"I'm not coming out." Yami heard through the door.

"Oh come on! I just ran into a wall!"

"No, I don't want to."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"PPPPLLLLEEEEAAAASSSSEEEE!!!!!????"

"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO! No."

"Screw you ya little star head! Stay in there and rot to death for all I care!"

"You're a star head too."

Yami growled loudly and stormed off but not before turning to Joey and glaring deeply at the candle. "You. Watch his door. I'm going to play Left 4 Dead on my Xbox for the next four hours with metal music playing the whole time and I won't be hearing or paying attention any large and famously annoying songs about being a guest." And Yami walked off.

Joey nodded and started walking up and down the hall until Yami was out of site, and then Joey went back behind the curtain he was behind before and smirked.

The wooden door opened and Yugi looked around, not seeing anyone in sight, though he heard some giggling and stuff behind a curtain and someone saying, 'Joey, turn off the flames, you might burn me again!' Yugi shook his head and walked down the halls.

Joey looked behind the curtain as well as a green-haired, gold-eyed, pale skinned teen that was naked from the chest up. "Hey, isn't that the cutie that Yami wanted to screw?" The green headed boy asked and Joey nodded.

"Yep! Come on Anti-Seto, let's go after him!" The candle stick smiled and bounced off with Anti-Seto following him.

"Hey Yugi!" Joey called, seeing the boy turn his head as he walked along.

"What do you want?" Yugi then noticed the other human in the hall, if you could call him human.

"Well, me and Anti-Seto wanted to know what you were doing, and did you know that you actually walked into the kitchen?" Joey replied.

Yugi blinked and looked around and saw that the dishes were getting cleaned up and Tristan, the clock from what Yugi learned, was telling everyone to get ready for bed. All the while the large white stove was bitching at everyone. "I can't believe that little prick didn't eat! All this food is going to waste!"

"Now calm down Bakura, the one you call 'prick' is here." Anti-Seto grinned widely and pointed at Yugi. Bakura shut his mouth and Ishizu hopped over to them.

"Are you hungry Yugi?" The boy nodded and everyone in the kitchen cheered. "Let's get him something to eat!"

Tristan panicked. "Guys, remember what the master said!"

"Oh shush Tristan, he's hungry!"

"Fine, a glass of water and a crust of bread will do." Tristan sighed and Yugi kicked him.

"Thank you!" Anti-Seto grinned again. "Anyway, let's take you to the table! Come on Joey, Yugi!" They walked into the large dining room and Yugi looked around. The light went out and suddenly a spotlight showed on Joey who stood on the table.

(Here comes another song…)

Ma chere Mousier,
it is with deepest pride and greatest
pleasure that we welcome you tonight.
And now we invite you to relax, let
us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents -
your dinner! )

Be our guest
Be our guest
Put our service to the test
Tie your napkin 'round your neck, Cherie
And we provide the rest
Soup du jour
Hot hors d'oeuvres
Why, we only live to serve
Try the grey stuff, it's delicious
Don't believe me? Ask the dishes
They can sing
They can dance
After all, man, this is France
And a dinner here is never second best
Go on, unfold your menu
Take a glance and then you'll
Be our guest
Oui, our guest
Be our guest

Beef ragout
Cheese soufflé
Pie and pudding "en flambé"
We'll prepare and serve with flair
A culinary cabaret
You're alone
And you're scared
But the banquet's all prepared
No one's gloomy or complaining
While the flatware's entertaining
We tell jokes
I do tricks
With my fellow candlesticks
[Mugs:] And it's all in perfect taste
That you can bet
[All:] Come on and lift your glass
You've won your own free pass
To be out guest
[Joey:] If you're stressed
It's fine dining we suggest
[All:] Be our guest
Be our guest
Be our guest

[Joey:] Life is so unnerving
For a servant who's not serving
He's not whole without a soul to wait upon
Ah, those good old days when we were useful
Suddenly those good old days are gone
Ten years we've been rusting
Needing so much more than dusting
Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills
Most days we just lay around the castle
Flabby, fat and lazy
You walked in and oops-a-daisy!

[Ishizu:] It's a guest
It's a guest
Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed
Wine's been poured and thank the Lord
I've had the napkins freshly pressed
With dessert
She'll want tea
And my dear that's fine with me
While the cups do their soft shoeing
I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing
I'll get warm
Piping hot
Heaven's sakes! Is that a spot?
Clean it up! We want the company impressed
We've got a lot to do
Is it one lump or two
For you, our guest?
[Chorus:] She's our guest
[Ishizu:] She's our guest
[Chorus:] She's our guest

Be our guest
Be our guest
Our command is your request
It's ten years since we had anybody here
And we're obsessed
With your meal
With your ease
Yes, indeed, we aim to please
While the candlelight's still glowing
Let us help you
We'll keep going

Course by course
One by one
'Til you shout, "Enough! I'm done!"
Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest
Tonight you'll prop your feet up
But for now, let's eat up
Be our guest
Be our guest
Be our guest
Please, be our guest

Yugi blinked as the dining room was lit up and food was and dishes were everywhere. The boy grinned and clapped. "Brilliant! Wonderful! Though now I'm going to wonder aimlessly around this castle for a bit okay?" He spoke as he stood up and Joey and Tristan followed behind while Anti-Seto chased after some screaming spoons, asking why they were made of Tuesday.

"Okay, so what do you have in here?" Yugi asked, looking around and ignoring Tristan who had been telling him what was here the whole time.

"Well, lots of things that a castle has. Just don't see the West Wing; I heard the show is just stupid. Also, don't go to the west wing of this building." Joey replied.

"Why not?"

"Because you can't."

Yugi sighed and smirked slightly. "LOOK! A naked Anti-Seto!"

Joey ran off, drooling, and Tristan chased after him.

The small boy smirked evilly and walked down towards the west wing. He passed by much damaged furniture and paintings as he came to a large set of doors. Yugi opened the doors and looked around. He saw a really messy bed room.

Walking over to a wall, he saw a panting that had been slashed. It was of a tan man with hair like Yami's and crimson-eyes. "Damn! He's hot!" Yugi exclaimed, but his attention was turned to something glowing near the balcony. He walked over and gasped at the glowing rose inside, just as he went to touch the class, black hands slapped onto.

"What are you doing here…?" Yami growled.

All Yugi could think was that he was more screwed then hooker. "I thought I told you never to come here. Get out!" Yami yelled are Yugi who high tailed it out the doors and outside into the snow and kept running.

TBC

NINE PAGES?! That's the longest chapter so far! Hope you guys like this one, much funnier then the others in my opinion.

Please review and I might update soon!