A/N: This is a one shot of Hanabi, a random overlooked naruto character. Please read and enjoy. Reviews are aprreciated, flamers are welcome too.
Hanabi knew life was short. As many other shinobi, she saw her comrades and close friends disappear on the battlefield, out of interrogation, or just out of injuries. It was sick watching the blood rushing out of them creating a crimson puddle on the floor. But she gave up that life on her thirtieth birthday when she was pronounced the head of her clan, she was thirty five now, even five years after, her Kunai calluses remained as if a symbol of the losses she faced.
When she was thirteen she was betrothed over to Hyuuga Neji, her cousin. The two would rule Hyuuga as the two powerful Hyuuga geniuses. She was thirteen, he was nineteen. After their pre wedding ceremony nothing much happened, Hinata was officially a branch family member and was free to do as she wished and Hanabi and Neji remained.
Her father had said until Hanabi was fertile and mature enough to bare children mentally and physically nothing special as a married couple needed to be done. So she roamed around, now that her sister was gone out of the Hyuuga compound her source of love was gone. So she searched for love or some form of want.
It had to be Konohamaru, out of all the people in Konoha it ended up to be him. She went to school with him, and he was close, close enough to love? As significant small crushes Hanabi began roaming around with him hanging out with him more, training. Whenever she went out somewhere with him she slipped off the small wedding band that symbolized her as taken. She started caring about him, more and more. She starting remembering his needs, what he wanted, what he liked, what his favorite things were, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
They were thirteen; young, stupid, and ignorant to what was going around them. Hanabi the sharp minded Hyuuga genius and future head, was reduced down to a flaky love sick thirteen year old girl. So outside of the thick Hyuuga compound doors when he lightly kissed him under the yellow umbrella in the spring rain she smiled and went inside with glee. She didn't care if her new white dress and turquoise cardigan was drenched. She skipped off into her room closing the door behind her and just hugged her self rethinking the moment over and over again.
Hearing the servant announce time for dinner she quickly changed into a dark Hyuuga robe and slipped back on her thin wedding band. She was living two lives.
She didn't stop meeting him, at night he came beside her window on the second floor of the Compound. Though those meetings at night were often short and meaningless Hanabi felt the happiest hearing his voice and trying to figure out the rhythmic beating of his heart.
Their favorite training place was near the memorial stone and at training one day near there, Konohamaru had thrown a kunai at her for practice of course knowing she'd dodge, this time whether it was the slick mud or the thoughts of him on her mind she slipped and the Kunai glazed her side. They stopped after that. He had apologized numerously as he started bandaging her side; she lay down in the damp grass breathing heavily. Lying beside her they looked at the blue sky their fingers slowly entwining.
"Hanabi Chan."
"Hmm?"
"I think," A light blush colored his cheeks a pinkish tone.
"You think what?" Hanabi asked on her stomach now looking directly at his face with a pretty grin on her face. He smiled.
"That mission tomorrow will be dangerous tomorrow." Hanabi frowned at his babbling, "And…since it'll be a dangerous mission I guess I should tell you this…" Hanabi's frown hadn't disappeared she hated when he didn't spit things out. "That I, I love you." Simple words could make the beats of Hanabi's heart skip.
The mission wascertainly dangerous, last memory she had of him was that, last simple words. After he said then before she could say anything he ran away. She attended his funeral with her sister and Naruto. It wasn't a good day. As his name was carved into the memorial stone Hanabi hung around there more often, training more often, remembering the lingering sensation of sweet words that came out in a chorus of his mouth, 'I love you' it whispered in her ear over and over again.
Soon after his death she started getting her period. When she was fourteen. When that happened she got a lot of suitors, she refused them all. One she was already engaged to Hyuuga Neji who was twenty then and two, she decided to not see other people anymore. Her breast grew, her form began to change into a woman, and she did not get much acne like most of the others in the Hyuuga Clan. Like her body, and self, things were changing.
She remembers when she turned fourteen. The year was one of the peaceful years, no deaths occurred that year with the people that were close to her, she was maturing slowly, she began to learn the other Jutsus of the family, and it was a relatively peaceful time. The only really clear memory she has is near the Sakura blossoming season.
There was a festival in Konoha as always, she had gone to the festival with her friends laughing. In her pastel yellow and white and blue obi she stood out the other girls were soft pink with lilac obis; it didn't matter to them so she still smiled and still laughed. She remembers seeing her cousin and fiancée by the big Sakura tree by the river on top of the hill. It was the blond Yamanaka girl softly twirling the small blossoming Sakura flower by her to fore fingers laughing a bit. He was smiling to, a different type of smile. It seemed unrealistic.
"Hanabi Chan! Let's go get some food!" Hanabi remembered one of her friends calling her out of her distant mind to get some dangos. That day the Hyuuga wedding band was placed on Hanabi's ring finger nicely.
At night when the fireworks were going to show Hanabi remembered rushing up to the hill to see them. Her friends had gone home early or with their families to see them, and her father was on a business trip so she decided that she was going to watch it alone leaning by the same tree she saw her cousin at.
As the vast different colors filled the sky, she felt her cousin sneak upon her taking his place beside her. At opposite sides of the tree they looked at the skies together. They went home together that day, standing side by side. Hanabi's hands neatly folded in front of her waist like a lady should walk. Neji walked with his hands in his pockets they strolled home together.
She felt the softness of his fingers brushing her strand of hair beside her ear aside to put the Sakura blossom in. She was shocked by the sudden act of that. She noticed other couples doing that. But they weren't a couple, engaged yes but nothing else. She teased him. Being the immature fourteen years old she teased him.
"Neji Niisan! I never knew you gone so soft!" She smiled the crooked pretty grin she smiled at Konohamaru before he confessed to her about his feelings. Like any Hyuuga man he did not say a word but playfully and like if she was his daughter or younger sister put his hands on head and gently ruffled her hair. He smiled at her too, it was a genuine smile. She hadn't seen a genuine smile of Hyuuga Neji's never before her life; she never did much after that. But maybe the smile he gave Yamanaka Ino as he gave her the small flower and as they stared into each other's eyes was genuine too.
A month after her fifteenth birthday she was betrothed over to Neji, fully. There was a grand wedding ceremony. A few of her close friends attended, all of the Hyuuga Clan, Godaime, Neji's close friends, Hinata, Some other Nobel clan members and leaders, and ties that held the Hyuuga Clan in tack.
She remembers getting ready for her wedding ceremony. An old aunt was from the council was there minding the business of her wedding preparations checking if the dress was done, how she looked etcetera. Her sister was there, and Yamanaka Ino was there along with another younger aunt of the Hyuuga Branch family.
She was wearing a large vibrant while shiro-maku. (A. /N: Shiro maku is a Japanese traditional wedding dress) and a vibrantly colored uchikake (Like a coat wore on top of the Shiro Maku). It was quite beautiful, and exceedingly expensive, as her aunt had told her many times.
The Shiro maku was purely white with light lilac threads making designs of the pale white kimono. The Uchikake was a deep royal purple, there were yellow, lilac, white, orange, and green fireworks decorated into the Uchikake. There was a fierce dragon drawn on to it in golden threading and various others unremarkably beautifully drawn sewn on the kimono.
"So young." The young aunt had admired her. "Tut, tut you're at such a tender age." Her hair was left down, she liked her hair, and it was at a shoulder length so it was left down.
"Your getting to be soft again, Kumiko. Don't show such weak signs at the actual ceremony!" The older aunt chastised. "I was near her age when married to my own cousin, in the main family, Neji is a fine specimen!" She said firmly sticking her chin out for emphasis.
"Yes but Oba San, Neji is twenty one, Hanabi is fifteen." The younger aunt Kumiko had sighed in defeat.
"Six years is nothing! Do not bother Hanabi; it is her wedding day today!"
"Hai." The young aunt sighed in defeat.
"Hanabi Chan, you look great today." It was Ino's compliment; she merely smiled at her the best she could.
"Neji Nissan will treat you kindly, like a good husband." Hinata's warm words tickled her ear. It was true, Neji would prove to be kind to her, loyal, a typical good husband but he'll lack the love. It wouldn't be the same.
The wedding was beautiful. It was elegant, traditional, and gave the modern reality a little hint of the past. The Hyuuga wedding band was taken off her finger and a new ring took its place. It was big, grand, something like the Hyuuga.
Her fifteenth year was the busiest of them. A lot of things happened. Her marriage ceremony took place that year. And for the first time she felt a mans touch, she wasn't sure if she was supposed to like it. But she did. Pleasure was something that Hyuuga's seemed disagree with.
Hanabi loved the way Neji's fingered brushed across her body like butterfly wings. So soft and delicate and the same time firm. She loved the taste of his mouth. And she loved the feeling of him inside her. But, she did not love him. She could not. There wasn't any reason; it was just too hard to.
But she played her role well as a wife. She was there when he came back from missions, whenever the cooks weren't there she cooked him food, she allowed him to fuck her whenever necessary, she remembered his favorite things mentally, physically, and emotionally, she didn't bind him down from going out, she was there when sometimes he just broke down. She was there, like a good wife in the eyes of Hyuuga, there, but quiet, and discreet never stepping out.
Just as she was a good wife he was good husband. Just as Hinata had said he treated her kindly enough. He wasn't abusive, he was gentle with her when needed, he ate the food she provided him with, he did the things she liked him to do when having sex, he remembered her favorite thing whether being mental, physical, or emotional, he didn't bind her down with his problems, he was there when she needed comforting. Like in the eyes of Hyuuga he was a good husband, solid, strong, and there.
Unlike Hanabi Neji tried to love her, he really honestly tried, he didn't want to give up, he wasn't the type to admit defeat but eventually he grew tired. He grew tired of her same acts, her same desires, and wished for a change, he thought back to a year ago the festival, the day with Yamanaka Ino, even though she was bossy, she proved to be kind, to be herself like a lover. While Hanabi was there, she was stable; she was a figurehead, someone that would mold something out of him at the end, like a wife. And as a man, he wanted a lover. He wanted to remain the imperfect jagged lines as a human, not to be carved something into a magnificent statue.
Like gem stones, both wanted to remain. But discreetly both were carving the other into something else unwillingly. Like a gem, even if you were carved into the something the jagged lines remained, if you looked with a stethoscope the lines would never disappear.
Like the beautiful jewel, Hanabi and Neji would never disappear.
When Hanabi was twenty, she realized she was pregnant. Neji then was twenty six. When receiving word of the child Neji softly brushed his lips on her pale forehead. Hanabi wondered about the child patting her stomach she wondered about how her child would look, their abilities, their personality, their intelligence, and started planning everything for it, in her mind at least.
Then she looked at all those things. Intelligence, beauty, skill, freedom, friends, love, and everything else in the world they desired. Reading over the list she realized she didn't want her child to be borne Hyuuga. All the qualities she had listed would be manipulated by the Hyuuga or they would never receive properly, she looked over the list and sighed. How had she turned so selfless she wondered? Rubbing a warm hand over her belly she put the silly thoughts away and locked them up at the back of her head.
When Hanabi was twenty one the baby was born. It was a boy much to everyone's happiness. His name was Hyuuga Haruko. He had dark brown hair and the byakugan no doubt. When he was first born he was this ugly little thing red and sweaty, with closed eyes and was crying constantly but after cleaning him up he grew to be beautiful in Hanabi's eyes. She immediately grew an attachment to him. She loved him.
Neji seemed fond of him too, even love maybe? She often caught him at the middle of the night stroking the baby's soft cheek and watched him sleep, just for the heck of it. Even when he had a big mission in the morning he still stayed up for a couple of minutes stroking his cheek and sometimes even muttering some soft and tender words underneath his breath.
Often Hinata visited. The sick green Hyuuga curse seal clearly on her forehead. She smiled holding her newborn nephew softly in her arms.
"He's beautiful. You're very lucky Hanabi." Hinata softly muttered looking at the sleeping form. Hanabi saw a soft brush against his pale forehead. She frowned but did nothing about it.
"Yes, I know." Hanabi said coldly. Hinata was seeing Kiba often. More romantically and less of a friend type of thing. Twenty five and still unmarried, how peculiar for a Hyuuga.
"Kiba Kun proposed to me yesterday. I'm hoping Neji Niisan and you will attend." Hinata smiled passing Hanabi the invitation. It was soft and delicate like Hinata but with rough edges still, like Kiba. The two fit together. Hanabi smiled a bitter smile. Hinata had gotten what she wanted. A love. Not with Naruto, but she had freedom, more freedom then Hanabi could ever dream of.
After Hinata left Hanabi brushed a pale hand over her baby's forehead, unmarked, pure, and pale. This forehead was never going to be harmed. This meant that he was going to be the next Hyuuga head. He was never going to have the freedom that Hinata would have. The more she thought about it the more she realized, the curse seal was a way out of the Hyuuga cage. Instead of being trapped, she realized they were being set free, while the unmarked ones are to be caged.
If she put the curse seal on him now, he'd die, for sure he'll die. But if she did that maybe he'd be truly living for one painful moment. She brushed the thought aside. A cruel and sadistic thought a thought of killing your own child. Hanabi ignored the thought and put the baby down for a nap.
At thirty she was pronounced the head of the clan and gave up her ninja life. Her son, was nine then. Neji was thirty six. Her father had graciously stepped down claiming that the work of the head Hyuuga was too overbearing for him. So at a great ceremony Hanabi and Neji were made Heads of Hyuuga.
At the luscious ceremony Neji seemed too happy for himself. The small little genuine smile on his mouth never disappeared through out the day. The genuine smile of Hyuuga Neji Hanabi had only seen three times her life. Once for the first time, at the festival when she was fourteen, when she was twenty one and the baby was born, and now when he was pronounced head of Hyuuga with Hanabi. His dream had finally come true; he was head of Hyuuga, something that belonged to him.
They moved their stuff into where the Head family's room was and settled in. Haruko was officially pronounced the to-be heir of Hyuuga. He had grown to be a genius, not an overwhelming genius, like both his parents but he was good. Third to best in his class, shows promising talent on the battlefield, and that was enough for Hanabi. Though her father insisted another baby, she denied his request. Haruko was enough; she didn't want drama like with herself, Hinata, and Neji. It'd prove to be tear jerking.
The following year, Hinata, Hanabi, Neji, and Kiba together attended Naruto's funeral. Hinata was obviously sad, as was Neji and Kiba. Hinata was pregnant finally. After years of trying she finally was. Naruto had died on the battle field killed by Jiraya when the Kyuubi was about to get released. It was needed.
Quietly after the funeral she talked with Hinata.
"Hinata. Why didn't you marry Naruto?" The conversation had flowed to that.
"Naruto Kun had done enough for me, I couldn't burden him any further to have me for his wife, and it wouldn't have worked out." Hinata answered smiling a little.
"So you married Kiba?"
"Kiba Kun, loves me, I owed it to him."
"You're confusing me by farther now…" Hanabi thirty one had never realized how complex her sister's mind was.
Hinata smiled. "Naruto Kun loved someone else, he had given me the right to marry someone I wish to marry, Naruto Kun needed to follow someone to pursue his needs, I'd have kept him away from that, what he truly wants I couldn't have married him."
"And your marriage to Kiba?"
"Kiba Kun loved me, and he would stay with me, his dreams were something I could give him. I am very in debt to Kiba Kun ever since I was a child, he was a good friend. I needed more then Naruto Kun to balance properly." Hinata explained rubbing her stomach.
Naruto's name was carved into the memorial stone. He would be remembered. After people left, Hanabi slowly felt the names on the memorial stone. Every time she went across a different name another feeling arose. It came to him, Konohamaru. A feeling of longing arose, how many years had it been until she saw him. Sometimes she thought he never existed just a fragment of a dream in her mind.
Many of Neji's friends and her friends were written in the memorial stone. She traced over the names again and again, feeling the rising emotion every time she went over a new name. Anger, depression, happiness, helplessness, love, longing…soon they all mixed into one like a bland color, she was one of the only ones that were left.
A few months later, in bleak December Hinata's baby was born. It was a stillborn. The lifeless Hyuuga eyes held still, and the breath was sucked away. They say it was stress that killed the baby, Hinata was always too eager to please. The baby that was to bring her and Kiba happiness had died, and their hope diminished.
Weeks later, they carved another name into the memorial stone, Inuzuka Kiba, K.I.A.
When Hanabi was thirty two her sister moved back in the branch family section. Her husband killed, her longing love killed, her baby dead. She had no where else to turn to. Hanabi noticed Neji, her husband often going to Hinata's room comforting her, talking to her something he usually never did with Hanabi.
Hanabi was always a sharp child, so when Neji came back from a mission injured his knuckles bleeding, with cuts and bruises all over his body, and he didn't come to Hanabi first and instead gone to Hinata she wondered how the tear jerking drama would really end.
Hinata was asked to be in the council, Hinata denied the offer. Secretly but discreetly, Hinata always stood around. Watching her and Neji's every action. Hinata was the stepping stone that guided Neji back to her. Hanabi hated Hinata.
Hanabi began noticing Neji had two mistresses. Hyuuga Hinata and Yamanaka Ino. But Hanabi did not worry; she knew Neji would stay loyal to Hyuuga. And staying loyal to Hyuuga meantstaying loyal to her.
Hanabi also knew Yamanaka Ino's husband, Nara Shikamaru knew she was meeting Neji twice a month or so. But he let her go; those days where she was away, Shikamaru called up Temari, and talked to her all night long. And the days where he had a business trip to Suna, he always stayed an extra day or two.
Hinata and Neji spent long nights together every week. Where every week Hanabi couldn't help but at least once peek through the walls to look at them in spite. She shuddered in hatred when she saw Neji kissing Hinata feverously on her neck to her collarbone. Something he used to do with her.
The tear jerking drama would never end.
The same year Hanabi was thirty two, late that year Hinata became pregnant. It was clear whom the baby's father would be, Hyuuga Neji. Gossip arose. Gossip arose in the branch family section saying that Neji was going to leave Hanabi for Hinata, that Hanabi's child Haruko would not become the heir and that Hinata's child would be a far better Hyuuga genius.
At nights she looked at Neji's sleeping form and her eyes cast down in anger only once he answered back.
"What?" The blunt tone of the deep voice definatly belonged to Neji.
"Nothing."
"If it's nothing go to sleep." Neji had told her in a firm voice.
Hanabi's eyes narrowed, "Talk is arising. I need you to put a stop to it." Hanabi sighed.
"You're a Hyuuga heir born into the main house; you too are a leader of the Hyuuga -you- put a stop to it if you're so concerned."
"Have you lost all love for Haruko and me? Are you actually planning on leaving me?" Hanabi nearly yelled at the darkness of the night. She noticed Neji's flinch as he sat up facing her.
"I never loved you. I never could stand to love you." Neji clearly stated facing her with no fear what so ever showing in his face.
"The curse seal you still have it. So does Hinata. So will Hinata's baby. Haruko and I are the only ones free of the Hyuuga seal." Hanabi made a threat her eyes narrowing in hate her head dizzy and heavy from the lack of sleep and the night's slumber.
"If it's a threat wife, make it. You won't carry it out." Neji turned back to his side pulling the covers over his shoulder going back to sleep.
In the midst of the night Hanabi whispered to no one in particular, "Neji Niisan you're all still afraid."
Hinata's baby was born and showed great promising talent. The baby born was a girl, but she was extremely fragile and got sick often. Neji adored her as well brushing aside Haruko and making room for the little girl named Kohana.
When Hinata came to visit her with the baby Hanabi's eyes narrowed and reminded her of her faith.
"The baby shows promising talent, like her father." Both sisters narrowed their eyes.
"Yes she does. Unfortunately like her father she was born into the branch family." Hanabi raised her head high. "Since she's strong we'll be able to mark her in a few months time."
Hinata lowered her slightly and looked back up with determination. "I'm sure Kohana will be fine, she is a Hyuuga genius after all." Hinata challenged.
"Sad isn't it. The genetic code would be too messed up if Kohana and Haruko were engaged. Sadly enough Onee-san, Kohana would never become the Hyuuga head." Hanabi confirmed. Hinata smiled a bitter smile. "Onee-san, did I ever congratulate you on your child's birth?" Hanabi asked spitefully. Hinata's smile faltered.
One specific night whether it was the pent up sexual frustration or just the sudden lust for her, Neji seemed in need of sex. Usually Hanabi would not deny Neji; in fact she loved it when Neji was like this, at his most beast-like form. But that night she felt disgusted by Neji. He smelt of liquor and she smelt a woman's scent on him. It was Hyuuga Hinata's. Her usual perfume and herbs smell clashing together mixed with his skin made this clear.
Neji climbed on top of her kissing her neck feverishly. "Get off me, I'm tired." Hanabi growled at Neji.
Neji ignored her and instead brushed his fingers over her nipple.
"I said I am in no mood. Get off."
"Hanabi…" He moaned out fully on top of her.
"Get. Off. Of. Me." Hanabi growled.
"Shut up. You talk too much." Neji growled nipping her earlobe.
"If you hadn't had your fill with Hinata, don't come crawling back to me." Hanabi growled attempting to push the stronger man off of her.
"Shut up." Neji again crawled on top of Hanabi.
"Niisan if you hadn't -fucked- Hinata hard enough. I am not your substitute of her!" Hanabi yelled managing to push Neji off of her. Almost immediately Neji got off of her. "Neji Niisan go take a shower, you smell like her. I don't want to fuck anyone that has her smell on them."
She reached thirty five the present where she is now. Kohana would be marked the following week, and all threats to Haruko would diminish. Neji does not smile much any more. Hinata and Hanabi had grown bitterer. The soft spoken kind Hinata was no more, and the fierce cocky arrogant Hanabi was no more. Age had changed them both.
Hinata was bitterer now, fiercer, and her stutters were pushed away into something less shy and following. She started hating not fearing, and she lacked respect that she always held dear to the noble clan of Hyuuga.
Hanabi was fairer now, quicker to admit defeat, more understanding, and gentler. The jagged piece of stone was cut into something soft, and delicate and more graceful. The spark she always had died away, and her younger foolish self was buried deep beneath herself.
Neji was rather more aware. He hadn't changed much. Too much lovers Hanabi assumed. The bags under his eyes showed something about him never revealed. Hanabi couldn't put her finger on it, but she loved it. It was like seeing Neji for who he is not the facid he always put up.
Neji and Kohana's relationship had diminished from a great fire to a small dying flame. And Neji and Haruko's relationship died. Haruko hated his father, and Neji thought nothing much out of his son. Haruko glared at Hinata whenever she walked by in the halls, and when Hanabi walked by Kohana she bowed deeply in fear. Relationships that were to be strong, healthy, and loving were ripped down to nothing but the bare minimum of hatred and fear.
In the end things had changed, from bad to worse. The soft round jade stone of Hinata had turned into something bitter and distasteful. The sharp beautiful silver linings of Hanabi were diminished and dulled down to a plain smooth rock something she never was, and Neji was ruined, the perfect ideal was burned to something so imperfect.
As a child Hanabi asked herself, why does her parents seem so distant and hateful to each other? Why did mother glare at her aunt in hatred? Or how did they never say anything but seem to hate the other wholeheartedly? It was an unexplainable answer. But it was something she knew and understood. She glares at Hinata now in hatred, Neji and her standing side by side for a picture was never smiling but the difference between the two seemed overwhelmingly great.
From Konohamaru, to the Sakura blossom festival, to her wedding, to the years in her marriage where she wasn't disturb by small things, when things were more simple, how had they gone from such innocence to saying hurtful things to each other and glaring at the other and having a constant mental and verbal battle from sister to sister.
Hanabi wondered that in her free spare time. But brushing the fact aside, she continued on with her work. Hanabi never did want to or plan to see the end of her story. She never will. Like a fire in the rain she was dying out slowly. Like the fireworks in the sky Hanabi had burst and her ashes were now falling.
In another lifetime maybe, she'll meet them again. Hiashi, Hinata, Kohana, Haruko, Naruto, Kiba, Konohamaru, and Neji. She'll wait until that day.
Like everything precious to her, Hanabi will fall.
But first her ashes must finish falling, until that process is complete Hanabi plans on staying put where she is.
A/N: well there we have it the end of my little one shot. how was it? If you read this far, i thank you, like i said reviews would be appreciated and flamers will be welcomed.