Just A Bit Of Rain

'That damn Potter.' She fumed, thrusting open the entrance doors and storming out, not heeding the warning of the looming dark clouds. Lily Evans hated the rain. "How could he--how dare he make me feel--" She was hurt and she couldn't help but feel the tears well up in her eyes "OH STUPID POTTER!" She stopped and crossed her arms as the rain began to fall "STUPID RAIN!" Lily closed her eyes and cringed as she thought back to just a few minutes ago.

Lily sat in a comfortable silence, reading a good thick novel in the Head's Common Room. The fire blazed beautifully making Lily feel relaxed and at home. It was the early evening and she was tired but she couldn't go to her room just yet. He wasn't back.

Lily's eyes glazed over and she began to think, 'He's changed a lot.' And it was true, James Potter, once the pain of her existence was now one of her closest friends. Becoming Head Boy was one of the best things for James and his relationship towards Lily. Granted that she was at first not too thrilled with the fact that he had been appointed the job of Head Boy, considering that as Head Girl they would have oodles of time to spend together, but it was for the best.

She saw him for the first time that year. Instead of the arrogant bully and egotistical love machine he had come across all the previous years, she witnessed a loving, caring, friendly James Potter. He was studious and funny, always there to help the common fifth year that needed tutoring in Transfiguration or the little first year who was picked on by the second year. She had witnessed it all and she couldn't deny that lately she had found him more attractive than ever before.

But he had stopped asking her out, they had agreed on a strictly platonic relationship, but Lily was hating the arrangement every passing day. There would be moments when the two would share a joke or a light conversation and for a while they would end up looking at each other, sharing a comforting silence. She loved those moments. Absolutely loved them. 'I wonder if he does too.' She thought.

The portrait hole swung open and Lily smiled despite her earlier thoughts. She got up and looked over the couch prepared to see James come in rugged and ruffled from practice but her heart gave out. 'Who's that?'

"I'll see you in the morning James, thank you for tonight. It was wonderful." He laughed, "I had a good time too, don't be a stranger now." Lily heard another giggle and she felt her chest tighten and her it took all the strength in her to not narrow her eyes as he strut in with a true smile, the one he usually reserved only for her. "Evening Lils," he said in a sing-song voice.

"James, erm--Who was that?" James only smiled and blushed slightly. 'He's blushing?' She thought and it hurt her deep down to know that she was the cause...whoever she was. "Oh that?" James said as he took a seat across from her, "That was Amber George, she came to watch my Quidditch Practice, so afterwards we just talked. She's really nice, and really pretty too." Lily nodded, "Oh, I see, well erm, we've scheduled a Hogsmead weekend in a few weeks." She looked down at her book and tried to appear nonchalant, despite the twisting of the knife in her heart, "Are you going to ask her out?"

James seemed genuinely surprised by her question but recovered, "Maybe," he said, as if still not sure of where the conversation was going, "Why? Do you think I should?" Lily wanted to desperately to scream out, 'NO! ASK ME INSTEAD!' but for some reason she couldn't bring herself to the words. Instead she looked up at him and shrugged, "Do what you want, it's not like I'm your keeper or anything."

'YES I AM! YES I AM!'

James sighed and nodded, "Well, that may be true, but you are my friend, I respect your opinion."

Friend.

That word simply deflated her. 'TELL HIM NOW!' she thought "Do whatever you want," she said. 'NO YOU BLOODY IDIOT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?' Her conscious was screaming at her and Lily practically wanted to scream too, but she only turned her attention back to her book. The quiet comfortable silence she cherished did not come after that. Instead she felt tired and empty.

Lily could feel his eyes on her, but she couldn't look up at him, she just opened her book and pretended to read. "Well, I suppose I will then." Lily's eyes shot up, "WHAT?" James was startled by her outburst and he looked at her confused and a bit scared, "Well you said to do whatever you want and I want to go out with her."

Lily's breathing was shallow and she looked over at him before closing her eyes and laughing nervously, "Of course. I did say that. Sorry for the erm--" she just couldn't get around it any longer and simply got up to fetch her cloak. He cocked an eyebrow at her, "Where are you going?" She didn't answer at first; only secured her cloak and anxiously smoothed out the creases, "I need to go for a walk." Her voice cracked and she knew that she had tipped her hand. Practically shown James her cards in all actuality, but if she stayed she would clearly regret whatever more she would say. Who was she to be upset over who he wanted to date? That was his business.

"Wait what? Lily what's the matter?"

She only shook her head and sighed, "Nothing I just need air." she got up and made for the portrait hole, "Lily? Lily! Come back, tell me what's wrong!" She didn't stay for the rest. She wanted to blow up at him, blow up at herself but she couldn't do that and she just had to get out. "Lily it's late, you can't go--"

It was late. A little too late. She was already out the door

Lily knew she had overreacted. She hated herself immensely for it, but, what was so great about this Amber George? From what she had seen she had stringy blonde hair and dull brown eyes. Nothing special. Nothing special at all. And he barely knew her! How could he go after her! Couldn't he see that he finally had achieved what he had spent years trying to do? Couldn't he see that she, Lily Evans lo--

"LILY!" She didn't look back, she knew exactly who it was and quite frankly she could do without James Potter at the moment. "LILY PLEASE STOP!"

Lily only began to sprint faster trying her hardest to outrun him but knowing full and well that his long legs would surely over power hers, 'I hate being short.' Sure enough she felt a hand grab her arm and she stopped pulling it away, "UNHAND ME! GET AWAY!" There in the damn rain, that had elevated from it's beginning drizzle becoming a full on storm, stood James Potter, his shirt clinging to his body his hair tousled from the wind and his glasses practically covered in heavy drops of water.

"Lily I don't understand what I did wrong!"

She looked at him with pain stricken eyes, "And I don't expect you too James. I barely understand! And if I can't understand this then I know you never will!" She turned to walk away again but he quickly placed himself in front of her, "Make me understand! I want to." She sighed in frustration and shook her head trying to step away again but he blocked her, "It's stupid! It's not even you, it's just me and my stupid emotions. You don't have to concern yourself with it Potter!" He sighed in utter disbelief, "Since when am I back to Potter?" Lily closed her eyes and turned, pulling her arms closer into her trying to just simply wash away but James stepped closer, "Tell me what's wrong. What the bloody hell did I do? What's bothering you?"

"YOU AND THAT AMBER GIRL THAT'S WHAT!"

James was shocked, "What? We're not even dating, I only met her tonight!"

"You're not dating her yet!"

James shook his head, "So what? So what if I might end up dating her, WHAT DOES IT MATTER!?" He was confused and tired, wet and now angry. He didn't understand. She knew he wouldn't. "IT MATTERS!" James opened his arms, "WHY? WHY DOES IT MATTER? YOU SAID IT YOURSELF YOU ARE NOT MY KEEPER WHY DOES IT AFFECT YOU SO MUCH THAT I MIGHT BE HAPPY FOR ONCE? CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME BE HAPPY?" Lily looked up at him in shock, the rain soaking both of them to the bone. "What is that supposed to mean?"

James sighed and shook his head, running a hand through his hair and ruffling it up even more, "FOR YEARS I COME AFTER YOU, PRONOUNCE MY LOVE AND MY DEVOTION AND EACH TIME I GET SHOT DOWN. THEN YOU LAY THIS DAMN 'JUST FRIENDS' THING ON ME AND EVERYDAY IT DRIVES A KNIFE STRAIGHT INTO MY HEART KNOWING THAT EACH TOUCH, EACH LAUGH, EACH BLOODY LITTLE GLANCE DOES NOT CHANGE ANYTHING. NOW I FINALLY SEE SOMEONE WHOM I WANT TO GET TO KNOW AND YOU GO OFF THE HANDLE! DO YOU FIND JOY IN MAKING ME MISERABLE?"

Lily looked at him shocked and hot tears streamed down her face. The rain covered them, but it didn't matter, "HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT? OF COURSE I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY. OF COURSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE MISERABLE! HOW COULD YOU SAY SUCH A THING!"

James scoffed and shrugged, "LOOK AT THE LAST SIX YEARS LILY! WHO WOULDN'T?" Lily looked at him in disbelief but she knew he was right. She closed her eyes and shook her head, wiping the hot tears away and trying her best to look at him through the rain, "WELL FINE THEN! GO AND BE HAPPY WITH TOPAZ--"

"AMBER!"

"WHATEVER! GO BE HAPPY WITH HER. SEE IF I CARE!"

She turned away and tried to walk back toward the Castle but James caught up to her, "Wait, Lily, come on now,"

"What James? What more do you want?"

He sighed and placed two hands on her shoulders, "Tell me what's really bothering you. Tell me what's going on." Lily only looked up at him and sighed, closing her eyes, "I just...I just..." She groaned and shrugged him away, "It felt like I was being killed upstairs James. When I saw you with her I couldn't breathe!" She crossed her arms and tried to warm herself up but the pain was too cold, it sent chills down her spine. "All I could think about after our conversation was that you were going to ask that girl out and I would be left alone, wallowing in my stupidity because I missed my chance."

James' eyes widened and he sputtered out, "Missed your chance? What do you mean?" Lily sighed and looked up at him again, her eyes meeting his. She had to tell him now, or else she couldn't come to terms with it. It had to be said. "James, every touch, every laugh, every one of the bloody little glances you talked about? It killed me too. I've been trying to figure out everything that has been happening between us, but it's so hard. I don't trust myself with these feelings, I've never had them before. I thought I had more time, I thought and truly believed in my heart that it might all work out in the end, but when you came back tonight with that girl, it all made me realize that I was too late. Even though I had fallen in love with you, you had fallen out of love with me."

There. It had been said. She looked up at him and saw his expression was unreadable he didn't move and didn't say a word, he just seemed to be taking it all in, taking her words in. But even still there was no indication that he was going to oppose her statement so she sighed and turned to leave. But again she was interrupted in her attempted escape, this time with a pair of arms snaking around her waist and pulling her around towards him.

His lips captured hers and she felt her whole body surge with energy. She felt him yearning for access and slowly she opened her mouth to oblige; her arms reaching around his shoulders. The rain suddenly seemed warm and the sky a beautiful shade of silver as opposed to it's original dull grey but the two were too wrapped up in each other to fully appreciate it. Lily had never felt this way before and she wanted to stay like that for years and years to come.

When they pulled away, they were panting for breath, eyes closed and foreheads placed against each other. There it was; that comforting silence between the both of them that she loved so dearly and she couldn't help but sigh. "I never stopped loving you Lily." He said and she caught her breath opening her eyes to see his staring into her. "I only thought that this is what you wanted. Just friends." Lily nodded, "That's what I thought I wanted too." James grinned and she couldn't help but give him a small smile in return before looking down in shame, "I thought you gave up on me. And it seemed so cliché that the minute I actually want to be with you, you go and be with someone else."

He reached out to her and cupped her cheek in his hand.

"There is no one else Lily."

She smiled and looked up at him, "I'm sorry it took me so long." He shook his head and noticed that the rain began to clear away; the sun peaked out through the clouds. James looked back down at her and stroked her cheek lovingly, "I knew the sun would come out sooner or later."

As cheesy and cliché as it sounded, Lily didn't care. She only blushed slightly and watched as he brought himself closer to her, reiterating his feelings for her in a more obvious way. In her mind she heard bells and whistles, behind her eyelids she saw the proverbial fireworks, and in her mind she thanked God and all the heavens above, for the rain.