A/N: I couldn't think of anything for Steve so I had to go through my CD collection and I found Fall Out Boy's "From Under the Cork Tree" album. And that's when this idea hit. Now, personally, I don't like Steve that much but that might be because the moviemakers only gave him five lines throughout the movie! I demand a better script!
P.S. I'm high on Sailor Moon and heat at the moment.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for this library card in which I use to check out "The Outsiders" with several times.
"Whee! Sailor Moon Live Action!" says Jill/Jay/Roxie to some people.
"Since when have we had this computer here?" asks Kayleigh.
"Since when have we had the Internet?" asks Carly.
The whole backstage crew was watching the Sailor Moon Live Action show on YouTube in the computer. Even Josh is watching. Look how comfortable he is being strapped to a chair being forced to watch the corniness of an Anime played by real people.
"Why did you strap me to a chair?" Josh yelled.
"Shh… The theme song's playing!" Anna said.
Now the theme song to the Sailor Moon live action show is in Japanese. So when the group started singing it, it sounded a little like this:
"Gan! Gan! Something something something. La la la la la. La la la la la la la! La la la. Something something…" Yeah, you wouldn't really want to be there.
"What are you guys watching?" Darry asked.
"Sailor Moon! Shush!" Jay said.
"Okay. Why?"
" 'Cause it's so funny!"
"Josh, why are you watching it?" Dally asked.
"Can you not see me strapped here? Help me!"
"Aww, you know you like this Josh!" Carly said.
"Real men don't watch that stuff," Dally said.
"Wait. Pony, Johnny, why are you guys watching it? Two-Bit, you too," Darry said. Pony, Johnny, and Two-Bit are also watching the computer screen, and they're not strapped. Unless you count Jay's death grip on Johnny.
"Jay forced me to watch this with her! She won't let me go!" Johnny said. Jay liked Johnny. A lot.
"Hey let go of my Johnnycakes!" sweetheart64 said.
"Your Johnnycakes?" Darry, Dally, and Pony said in unison.
"Ahem, did I say my Johnnycakes? Well, I meant, um…"
"How did you get in here?" Anna asked.
"I'll take care of this," Kayleigh said. She got up and "kindly" led sweatheart64 to the audience. "No entrance here without a pass or permission from RockerLane!"
"Why RockerLane?" asked Kaligirl05.
"She created this thing."
Anyways, back to Sailor Moon…
"Johnny forced me to watch this with him since Jay won't let go of him," Pony said even though you know he likes watching girls kick youma (monster) butt.
"So what's your excuse, Two-Bit?" Dally asked.
"You know I'm a sucker for blonds."
"Uhh, better get your eyes checked 'cause those girls don't' got blond hair," Soda pointed out.
"Yet," Two-Bit said. (For those who haven't seen the Sailor Moon live action show on YouTube, the girls are all black-haired before they transform into their Sailor form, which is when they have colored wigs in the strange styles that were in the cartoon version. Sailor Moon ends up having blond pigtails after she transforms) Then the transforming sequence occurred. "Oh, now I see."
"Hey, everyone!" said another girl. It was Rugrats101.
"Hey, I just said no entrance unless-,"
"Yeah, I know. I have a pass. Anyways, Xena's wondering where Steve is. Isn't he supposed to be performing right now?" Rugrats101 saw Johnny in Jay's grasps. "JOHNNYCAKE!" She swiftly grabs Johnny from Jay's hold.
"AHH! SOMEONE HELP ME!"
"Man, we need a bodyguard for poor Johnny," Anna said.
"I'll protect him!" Rugrats101 and Jay say at the same time.
"No, I will!" says Izziecakes. How the hell did everyone get here?
"No, I'll protect him!" says JoHnNy CaStLe.
"No, I will!" says itsallaboutme.
"I'm perfect for the job!" Maddiecake says.
"How did everyone get in here?" Kayleigh yells.
"Xena sent us to look for Steve!" says xAshNightx.
"Wow, you guys are doing a fantastic job," Carly said sarcastically.
"You know what, everyone out! We'll look for Steve ourselves!" says Kayleigh.
Everyone groans and leaves. "Now where is Steve?" Anna said. Carly shrugs.
"He's sleeping, I think. I'll go wake him," Soda said.
"No, I will," Jay said. She got up and went to Steve's dressing room. Now a normal person would wake Steve up gently. Jay got creative and used a frying pan.
"Ow! What the f---?"
"You're up. Get onstage!"
"Steve, are you okay?" Xena asked when Steve got on the stage.
"Except for these stars circling my head, I'm fine."
"All right, well it's your turn to perform so take the mic and go!"
"Where's Johnny?" says Kawaii-Chibi-Kai.
"It isn't his performance yet. He'll be up shortly but first we have Steve!"
"But we want Johnny!" says DRAMAsaurus.Rex.
"YEAH! WE WANT JOHNNY! WE WANT JOHNNY!" the crowd chanted.
"Well, you're getting Steve!" Steve said.
"Just start singing and maybe they'll be more patient. Okay, everybody, this is Steve with 'Sugar, We're Driving Down'!" Xena says before running offstage in order to avoid any pitchforks that could follow.
The band started playing loudly. Well, what'd you expect?
"Is this more
than you expected yet?
I've been waxing
the side of your new Corvair
'Cause it was
really shitty
Lean on the hood
At the drive-in
theatre
I'm just a face
at the DX
But you're just a
pain in my ass.
Righty Loose, Lefty
Tight
We're always
speeding up
And speeding at the
red light
We're driving
downtown, not homeward bound
And sugar, we're
driving down the highway
I'll be your
number one mechanic
I can get you two
hubcaps so you don't have to panic
Is this more than
you expected yet?
Oh, don't mind me
I'm listening in on your conversation
Wishing to be the
subject of your talk
Hang with my
friends
While I'm on my
break
I'm just a face
at the DX
But you're just a
pain in my ass
Righty Loose, Lefty
Tight
We're always
speeding up
And speeding at the
red light
We're driving downtown, not homeward bound
And sugar we're driving down the highway
I'll be your
number one mechanic
I can get you two
hubcaps so you don't have to panic
We're driving downtown, not homeward bound
And sugar we're driving down the highway
I'll be your
number one mechanic
I can get you two
hubcaps so you don't have to panic."
The heavy guitars got softer as Steve sang another chorus.
"Downtown, not homeward boundAnd sugar we're driving down the highway
I'll be your number one mechanic
I can get you two hubcaps so you don't have to panic."
Backup singers started joining in.
We're driving
downtown not homeward bound
(Crash into the
wall)
And sugar we're
driving down the highway
(Crashing to the
floor)
I'll be your
number one mechanic
(Crash into the
wall)
I can get you two
hubcaps so you don't have to panic
We're driving
downtown! (Downtown!)
Downtown!
(Downtown!)
We're driving
downtown! (Downtown!)
I can get you two
hubcaps so you don't have to panic
We're driving
downtown, not homeward bound
(Crash into the
wall)
And sugar, we're
driving down the highway
(Crashing to the
floor)
I'll be your
number one mechanic
(Crash into the
wall)
I can get you two
hubcaps so you don't have to panic!"
The last chords are played and the endless song is done. Now, it's time for the judges. But first, a few messages from the fans.
"You were awesome, Steve!" from AlbinoMonkeyC.
"I love Fall Out Boy! You did them proud!" says some Fall Out Boy fan. (Reviewers, add your name here if you do like Fall Out Boy but I didn't know who liked them so I didn't put a specific name)
Now it's time for the judges. Really, now it's time.
"Bum bum buuuum!" Xena jokes.
"Very funny," says Steve.
"Well, I just have to say, how many times does that chorus have to be repeated? Come on, we don't have to hear it ten times that you're driving downtown!" says Randy.
"I think it was a good song. Although was repeated a bit much, don't you think?"
"RockerLane thought it would be rip-off to cut parts of the song off so she made me sing the whole damn thing."
"It would be a rip-off! Ever tried to sing along to a song but then get mixed up because they had to shorten the song for their own purposes? It's annoying!" Anna yells from backstage.
"You suck. Next victim," says Bob. Xena karate chops him on the head.
"Say something else!" Xena says.
"Pork chop." Xena again karate chops him.
"Xena, let's just cut into commercial. We can beat up Bob later," says Carly.
"We?"
"Okay, I will beat up Bob later," Carly says.
"Why you?"
"Because I said so."
"That makes no sense!"
"CUT TO COMMERCIAL! says Bob and everyone else. And so, we cut to commercial and we hear Steve kicking Bob's ass. This makes so much sense!
Commercial #6(It's a commercial
for Tag body spray. Bob is holding a can of Tag)
Announcer: Warning:
Tag Body Spray may attract unwanted attention from the opposite sex.
You have been warned.
Bob: Okay. (Sprays on
Tag Body Spray)
Marauder and The Q:
Eew, Bob! You reek!
Silverstagbeauty: Ahh!
My nose!
Carly: My God, it
stinks!
Jay: (Pretends to dies
with her hands on her throat) Can't. Breath. Too. Gross.
Kayleigh: (Comes in
with a skunk to hide the smell)
Everyone: Much better!
(Then Johnny is seen
holding a can of Tag)
Rugrats101: YAY!
JOHNNY!
Jay: (Miraculously
comes back to life) YAY! IT'S JOHNNY! ALL IS WELL!
(Both Jay and
Rugrats101 smother Johnny. Soon everyone else besides Anna, Kayleigh,
and Carly, is smothering him.)
Johnny: Wait! I didn't
even put the spray on yet!
Izziecakes: You don't
have to!
Carly: Need a little
help?
Johnny: YES! (Carly
goes over to try to save Johnny but ends up being swallowed in by the
mob)
Kayleigh and Anna:
Uhh…
Johnny and Carly: HELP
US!
(Kayleigh and Anna go
over to help but are also swallowed in.)
Announcer: Don't say
I didn't warn you!
Kayleigh, Johnny,
Carly, and Anna: SHUT UP AND HELP US!
End Commercial
Josh: Um, I'm still strapped here.
A/N: Sorry this didn't come out too good. But I have great news! No, I did not save a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico. Okay the big news is: Johnny's chapter is next.
The Johnny fangirls: AIIIIIIEEEEEE!
I think I just lost my hearing. Anyways, read and review!
The Johnny fangirls: AIIIIIIEEEEEEE!