In Her Eyes

Her eyes held something he had never seen in them before; devastation and pure hate. He had seen her experience a myriad of emotions: pain, anger, happiness, love, confusion, distrust. He had accepted them, believed them, and lived with them. But Logan could not deal with this foreign combination of suffering in those beautiful blue eyes. He wanted to comfort her, make her feel like everything in their life was going to be okay, but he couldn't. Her father was dead, the man who her life centered around. She was going to fall apart in his arms and nothing he could do would put her back together again. She had been betrayed by a boy she thought was her friend: raped by him, tortured by him, taunted by him as he murdered her father. There was no way to put that into perspective, no way to soothe those frazzled nerves, no way to tell her she was safe, though she was since he would never let anything hurt her again as long as he was there. All he knew how to do was hold her until the police got there, stays by her side longer than she wanted him with her, and let her cry.

She was shivering. Not from cold, but from the aftereffects of the taser Cassidy had used on her, or possibly from the shock she was feeling as the realization of her father's death seeped into her consciousness. She didn't stay in a near catatonic state for too long, the minute that Mac crossed her mind. She had been with Cassidy, he had had her phone. When he'd held it up, he had told Veronica that Mac was in a better place. What if he had killed her too?

She yelled out Mac's name and was running off the roof he knew what was happening. Mac had been her true friend, Logan had even seen that, and the idea that she was hurt, too, was crushing Veronica. What was one more friend murdered? She was in the hotel room, finding Mac huddled on the floor crying, stunned, hurt, confused, emotions that Veronica was feeling as well. She hugged her friend, holding her, the two sharing pain that Logan couldn't be a part of. His phone continued to vibrate for the second time since he had found Veronica, a number he didn't recognize flashing on the caller ID, and he continued to ignore the call. There was no reason to talk to anyone else tonight. Nothing could be more important than what he was doing now.

Veronica and Mac had to give statements to the police when they eventually got there about what had taken place before they could be taken home. Logan had the feeling that seeing Mac in the shape she was in was the only thing that kept Veronica from withdrawing completely. The two were connected through something more than being outcast. He tried to stay out of the way, until the police wanted to know what he had seen, and soon he asked the police if he could take the girls home. The car ride was quiet, and every time Logan glanced Veronica's way, her eyes held those emotions that made him feel helpless. He wasn't used to feeling like there was nothing he could do to control a situation. He was Logan Echolls. He took charge and made life the way he wanted it, no matter what happened. Veronica was killing him slowly with her pain, taking away his feelings of manliness and power, and turning him into this little boy who could do nothing but watch.

He took Mac home first, her wearing a too big sweatshirt and sweatpants that Logan had had in the back seat of his car. She looked lost in them, but if was fitting, because she felt lost. Her pretty graduation outfit was gone, missing, her symbol of making it through her years of torture in high school and finding someone who understood her like no one else did destroyed just like her vision and hope for Cassidy. She forced herself out of the car, not wanting to face her family, but knowing she had to at some point. She and Veronica hugged one more time, and Logan walked her up to the door, making sure she could make it without collapsing. She didn't want them to stay with her; she wanted to be alone, to think about what had happened, to think about Cassidy. Veronica had accepted it easier than usual, wanting to be back in her own apartment, her own bed. Logan didn't fight it, either, figuring Veronica needed to be away from everyone else, so she could mourn her father in peace.

Tears began streaming down her face as soon as she entered the apartment. Every time Logan got close to thinking Veronica was beginning to strengthen, she broke down again, not that he could blame her. Everything in this apartment reminded her of Keith. That man was admirable, as often as Logan didn't get along with him. Keith was everything that a father should be, and he was the one stable thing in Veronica's life. His death meant everything Veronica knew was gone, and as a result, her whole psyche was shattered. Logan didn't know the words to comfort her. He held her, coaxed her, and persuaded her to sit down on the couch, even lay down for a few minutes. She struggled at first, insisting that lying down was the last thing she needed. But finally, exhaustion set into her body, from the shock she had experienced, and she settled into the couch with him. He emptied his pockets onto the coffee table: keys, chapstick, a wallet, and his phone, blinking with numerous amounts of voicemail messages waiting to be heard.

She was quiet for a long time, staring into space, her face scrunched up almost cutely, if it wasn't for her reason for doing it. Logan was positive she was going to bore a hole into the door, probably wishing her father would walk through it any minute, calling out his ever lame comment of, "Who's your daddy". She stretched out across the couch, her head in Logan's lap, blond hair falling all over her face, her eyes unseeing. All that registered was suffering and sadness.

"It's going to be okay, Veronica." He knew how trite it sounded. He knew that she would never believe it, but he had to say it. She was going to be okay. He would make sure of it. He would be with her for as long as he could, and she would be safe, from everyone else, including his father. She was going to be okay.

"What am I going to do, Logan? Without him? He was – amazing – the most wonderful man in the world. I know I'm just a doting daughter, but he was everything, to me at least. No one understood how great he was."

"He still is everything to you, Veronica. That won't change."

Veronica nodded, but comfort didn't come. She turned her eyes upward, staring into Logan's eyes. She saw his pain there, surprisingly, and she reached up, touching his cheek gently. The motion spoke volumes to him, and he knew that he wouldn't be without Veronica again. They were together, the left behind and betrayed, and they would stay together for their own sanity.

Logan brushed Veronica's hair in a calming movement, soothing her aching head, willing her to finally rest, even if it was only for a few minutes. She resisted the urge to sleep; feeling like sleeping would be a waste of her life, a waste of the time she needed to mourn. Eventually it came, as Logan's quiet words floating into her mind, "You aren't alone, Veronica, even if it feels like it. I'll be here, whether you like it or not. I love you…you're stuck with me."

Her eyelids were fluttering and Logan was almost positive that Veronica had no idea the confession he had just given. He felt better, though, like throughout this whole thing that had crushed so many lives, something good had come out of it. Maybe Veronica would trust him again, and maybe he would have something more to live for than Dick (Logan almost sniggered at the thought of that). He watched Veronica sleep for a few moments, wondering if she dreamed. He finally decided to take her to her room. She would sleep better in her own bed. He lifted her easily, her petite form not hard to carry in the least. He laid her in the waterbed purchased by Keith 10 years too late, and covered her with a blanket. He leaned down, kissing her forehead. There would be plenty of time to talk, to kiss, to be together tomorrow.

He walked back into the living room, stretching out on the couch. It's not like his hotel was that inviting. Besides, Veronica shouldn't wake up alone. That's likely what she was most terrified of happening right now. He turned on his side, staring at the table, watching the blinking light on his cell phone. He'd listen to the messages tomorrow. He was tired.

Logan hadn't expected to see Keith that morning either. He hadn't heard Keith enter the apartment early that morning. He must have been surprised by what he had found when he'd come home, Veronica's ex-boyfriend asleep on the couch. Logan awakened late morning, unaware that anything had changed, and decided to make Veronica breakfast. She likely wouldn't be in the mood to eat, but she would need it. They would have a long day ahead of them, more questions by the police, funeral arrangements, checking on Mac. He couldn't let Veronica break down. He had to support her, the way she had when his mother had died. He stood over the stove, cooking bacon and eggs, the only things he knew how to make, hoping that he didn't ruin this.

His heart cracked when he heard Veronica yelling, "Dad! Dad!" He saw her, tousled from sleep, hope on her face that fell apart the minute she saw him. He hurried to her, holding her up before she collapsed with pain again.

"Veronica, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" Logan's voice trailed off as Keith broke in with some comment about breakfast. Veronica could hardly believe what she was hearing. She was almost afraid that she was hearing things because she wanted to hear them. Shock ran through her body once again, but pure joy registering on her face. Logan stepped away from the family reunion as soon as Veronica whirled around to embrace her father. She had her everything again, all was right in her world. He slipped out the door without her noticing, knowing that they needed to have time alone. What a concept, being happy that your father is alive. He'd never really grasped that idea. He supposed now was the time to find out what those messages were about.

"Mr. Echolls, we need you to contact us right away. We have some business we need to discuss with you."

"Mr. Echolls, this is Maureen. We contacted you earlier. We have some urgent business with you."

"Mr. Echolls, we've called you several times. This is an urgent."

"Mr. Echolls, we didn't want to do this over the phone, but our matter is regarding your father."

The messages continued in that manner, begging Logan to contact Maureen. She never identified what organization she was from. He had the feeling he knew. He sighed, figuring she was just another reporter who wanted to know what he thought about his father's freedom. He was tired of having to deal with reporters all the time, but he was also tired of having everyone think that poor Aaron had been a victim of circumstance and nearly framed for murder. He'd give the woman a call, find out what media outlet she was from, and give his last statement about his father's so called innocence. Then he would be done with it forever. He would not keep letting Aaron hang over his head and his happiness for the rest of his life. He was done with his father.

He slowly dialed the number back as he walked to his car. He wasn't sure what he was going to say to Maureen. He had to make sure that he didn't sound like an embittered son who wrongly despised his father. He had to make this professional. He had dealt with the press all his life. He could do this with no problem. He just had to control himself.

"Neptune City Morgue. This is Angela speaking."

Logan almost dropped the cell phone when he heard the title of the place he was calling. The morgue? His father was dead. He knew it the instant he heard the title. His father had finally gotten what he deserved.

"Hi, this is Logan Echolls. I had a woman named Maureen leaving me messages to return her calls."

"Yes, Mr. Echolls, we need to speak with you immediately. Can you come to the morgue today?"

"This is about my father, correct?"

"Yes. I don't know how to tell you this. He was shot last night. He didn't make it, Sir."

She probably expected him to fall apart at the news that his father was dead. Maybe he should, but he just felt relieved. He wouldn't have to wonder if Aaron was going to pop up and harass him again, or Veronica, try to hurt her. He truly was officially out of his life. No more terrorizing him. He was free. He was free and Veronica had her father again, and the world was adjusting to be right again. It was like his father's life had been traded with Veronica's father's, the fates choosing to finally reap revenge on the bad, and reward the good. Maybe things would start going right again. His father should have died in prison, but now he would burn in hell.

"You need me to identify him? Can't you do it yourself? I'm sure you've seen an Aaron Echolls movie once or twice in your lifetime."

"It has to be next of kin."

"Yeah. I'll be there."

It was funny how his fate had been switched with Veronica. If anyone deserved to have a break, it was her. Apparently, he had gotten one too. He knew he sounded callous, in his head, but he didn't care. He could play the part of a grieving son just as well as he could a loving one when it really mattered. He couldn't help but see the irony that Veronica's world had fallen apart when she had believed her father had died, pain and hate and suffering taking over her body, reflecting in her eyes. The moment he had heard his father was dead, the pain and hate and suffering he had felt had been relieved, all that was left was hope that life would be better now. Same occurrence, completely different reaction. Strange how differently people's lives went. He started the ignition in his car and headed to the morgue, thinking about when he should next call Veronica, to tell her that Aaron was out of her life for good as well. She would be relieved too.

The morgue had taken longer than he'd thought. His father had died by a single gunshot to the head. Seemed too easy in Logan's opinion. He glanced at his watch and tried to decide if it was still too early to intrude on Veronica's reunion with her father. It was mid afternoon by now, so they probably wouldn't mind hearing about Aaron's death now. She should know before it hit the news. Which inevitably it would by five o'clock. He headed to the Sun Coast apartments, found Veronica's and knocked sharply. Veronica answered the door looking only slightly more relaxed than she had been when he had last seen her.

"Hey. I don't want to interrupt, but…"

"My dad had to go to the police station. It's no problem. You wanna come in?" She was still in a contemplative mood, but that wasn't unusual considering they had just seen a kid jump off a building.

"Yeah. Thanks. So, something else happened last night." Logan was trying to introduce it easily, but Veronica seemed preoccupied.

"Something besides all that Cassidy did?"

Logan nodded. "My dad was murdered, shot in the head by an unknown assailant. All we know is that Kendall was in the shower at the time of the shooting."

"Kendall Casablancas? She does get around."

"No doubt. So, he's gone. You won't have to worry about him harassing you again."

Veronica felt guilty for the almost pleasure she got from Logan's announcement. Aaron's death meant closure to her, even if he wasn't convicted. But how could Logan take that well? She'd been devastated when she had thought her father was dead. She knew that there was a different relationship between Aaron and Logan than there was between herself and Keith, but he still had to be affected by it.

"I'm sorry, Logan. He was your father, after all."

"It's not like it matters, Veronica. He's been dead to be for a long time."

"Logan…"

Logan offered her a brave little toaster-like smile and shook his head. "Hey, it's a hard knock life for me, but I always liked Annie anyway."

Veronica stared at him with worried eyes, an improvement from what he had been seeing. He glanced away from her eventually, unable to take the pity. Instead, he leaned forward to bring her to him, kissing her gently. There was no rush.

Veronica pulled away from him, scanning his face. She had enjoyed the feel of his lips against hers again. But he didn't know what he was doing. Neither of them did. "We can't do this again."

"We have to, Veronica. We belong together, don't we?"

Veronica had once thought she and Duncan had belonged together, an epic love story. She was reconsidering that right now. Logan had been right. They were the epic relationship. He was the one who had been through as much as she had. He was the one who had protected her anytime she had needed him. He was the one who was around. She could feel her face softening at the idea of him and her trying their relationship again.

It was then that Logan saw the change. She did love him. And she would be with him. It was in her eyes.