A/N: I know Ronon and everybody might be a bit out of character but I really wasn't going for accuracy as much as the fun factor and "cheering people up who are feeling down" kind of thing. So don't takeoffense to it. Also I have edited this a bit.
Title: Open Sesame!
Author: Lady Valmar
Genre: Humor (Drabble)
Rating: K
Archive: FF, SGAHC
Spoilers: Season 2 Setting
Date: 05-12-06
Summary: Plot Bunny! ERGH! Must find repellent! Okay...Sheppard introduces Ronon to the wonders of pepsi...and madness ensues. Not to be taken seriously people!
Inspiration: Got a plot bunny from reading Shakia's 'At Matter of Time' and from drinking Cherry Pepsi at school while feeling tired.
Warnings: Um…maybe looniness? Not to offend anyone by the out of character portrayal a little ay! Just for laughs.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis or any of the characters. Please note that I welcome advice, helpful and polite criticism but I will not read nor deal with flames or rude reviews, and will report them. So stuff not owned by Stargate Atlantis is mine and therefore please ask and do not infringe nor steal my original themes, concepts, ideas or characters please.
... .LV. ...
Open Sesame!
By Lady Valmar
Music to accompany this: Not Too Far to Walk by David Arkenstone
"Ronon, it's called Pepsi," said Sheppard, sipping the can in his hand as Ronon sat down in the chair across from him.
Sheppard had just finished three separate training sessions. One with Ronon, running. One with Teyla, stick-fighting and One with some of the new crew from the Daedulus . He was beat and he still had a load of paperwork, and possibly some PT drills for one of the units. He really didn't feel like chatting but it was so rare for Ronon to be sociable so he was willing to make the effort to be sociable himself.
"Yup. On Earth we have several different types. Coke Cola, RC, Sierra mist, 7up, Sprite. You know soft drinks. Soda."
Ronon grunted something inaudible between boutfuls of food chewing, his eyesexamining the other can sitting in front of Sheppard.
Several others around them were drinking a various assortment of sodas even one person was filling their can of Coke Cola with something from a mysterious canister. Ronon wasn't sure what to make of this 'Soda Day' as he had heard someone call it but he had to admit he was curious.
"What's that?" asked Ronon, pointing at the other can near Sheppard.
"That is Cherry Pepsi. Go ahead try it. I don't like the taste of that so much. Iactually prefer the original better," said Sheppard, flipping open his palm pilot.
Ronon was reluctant to try it but he was curious.
Staring at the can Ronon hesitantly popped the lid,following Sheppard's example. Sniffing the soda he stared at the can again. What if it was like that that grapefruit juice he had tried before...
"It's not going to bite you know" said Sheppard, slightly smiling as he tapped a few more keys on his palm pilot.
Ronon stared once more at Sheppardbefore taking a swig. At first he didn't know what to make of it. It was the oddest taste he had ever had. Cherry and some kind of indescriableflavor combined with sugar.
Ronon shrugged. It wasn't bad really. Just strange. And they actually drank this stuff?
"So what do you think?" asked Sheppard, fiddling with his palm pilot's stylus pen.
"Tastes strange," said Ronon, slowly gulping down the rest of the drink.
"It's more like battery acid. ," provideda woman, nearby who had been listening in on their exchange.
If crickets could have been chirping they would have. Both men just looked at her, not sure what to say.
"Ah but it's tasty battery acid," supplieda mansitting near the woman.
Sheppard smiled at that comment. Battery acid. Heh.
"Yeah…I guess it would taste strange to someone who has never tried it before," said Sheppard, looking over some notes on his palm pilot. "If you want some more there's a few left over there on the table. You might like the Cherry 7up. It's my favorite."
"You don't like Cherry Pepsi but you like Cherry 7up?" asked Ronon, raising his eyebrows perplexed.
"Tell you what...try the Cherry 7up and compare,"said Sheppard, returning his palm pilot to his back pocket. "Well...I gotsome paperwork..." Standing up Sheppard picked up his tray and the two empty cans of soda. Tossing everything into the trash he walked out of the mess hall.
Ronon stared at the table of cans before getting up and picking up a couple. Returning to the his seat he noticeda man ina lab coathunched nearby pouring some clear liquid into his can of coke cola. When the man saw that Ronon was looking he waved and smiled slightly before getting up and moving to sit in front of Ronon.
"You want some spice for that can of coke cola?" said the man, a loopy grin on his face.
Ronon stared.
"It's not posion if that's what your thinking. It's alcohol," said the man, tapping his lab coat pocket.
Later on
Sheppard had just sat down at a desk to finish up the paperwork backlogged at least six weeks. He really needed to finish this sort of thing sooner. When his com beeped. Reluctantly he picked it up knowing that it could be only one person.
"Sheppard?"
"Yes Rodney?"
"I need you in the lab."
"Rodney I'm busy right now."
"So am I with very important technology that needs a significant amount of Ancient Gene to activate."
Several mintues later...
Sheppard was standing in Rodney's lab waiting for Rodney to return with somereading instruments. He waswishing now he had got two more Pepsi's just so he could either drink them or just throw them at the scientist.
Just before Rodney returned, Sheppard's com beeped. Just great...now he would have to deal with yet another delay to paperwork. He should have been happy about that but he knew the more it got put off the more he would have to do because of it.
"Sir, you need to come down here to the mess hall."
"What's the matter Sargent?"
"Ronon is…ah…I think either drunk, on a caffiene high or both."
Sheppard and Rodney both eyed each other. In the background both men heard Ronon shout 'Open sesame!'
"I have a bad feeling about this," said Sheppard, before racing out of the lab to the transporter.
"Did the Open Sesame give you a clue?" replied Rodney, nastily. Who then shouted, "Hey wait for me!"As hetripped slightly ona cable nearby.
Once the both of themhad reached the mess hall, they saw Ronon trying to snatch a can of Coke from one of the scientists while another man was tap dancing on one of the tables and giggling.
"Give now!"
"No…This one is mine. You already had ten of them. I don't think you don't need more. OH Colonel! Could you tell this overgrown luge, who is trying to steal my can of coketo leave me alone."
Sheppard walked over to where Ronon had the man in a head lock, his other hand trying to yank the can out of the man's hands. "Ronon, put the nice scientist down."
Ronon frowned slightly with a loop sided smilebeforereleasing the man. Then he raced to for the exit to the mess hall. "Open Sesame!"
Sheppard turned only to see Rodney laughing hysterically. "Remind me never to give him soda!"
"Very funny Rodney!" shouted Sheppard, as he tried to get the man tap dancing on the table to get down.
Down the hall they could hear Ronon shout again, "Open Sesame!"
"Where did he learn that from?" asked Rodney.
"From me…who else…" said Sheppard, bitterly."I'd better go find him, before he stirs up more trouble.
One thing was for sure a Runner on a caffeince high and alcoholic buzz was not a good thing for Atlantis. Rodney decided he didn't need more drama to add to his day and walked over to line for some food and coffee. Might as well eat while he was at it. In the hallway he could hear Sheppard shout, "Ronon…no! Put Dr. Weir down!"
"Open Sesame!"
A/N: Sigh…you see…I shouldn't have gone and read a fanfic. Darn it all! Oh wells…no more reading other people's fanfic's until I finish my own I guess! LOL!