The Case of The Missing Bathroom Necessity

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Yzak was now fidgeting with the keys of his computer gawking at him helplessly and mockingly. Staring at the screen for the longest time possible, he knew he should act a lot casual to prevent suspicion from his fellow council members, but this was beyond human or even coordinators' capability, and he was now afraid of this thing restraining him from any involvement in the meeting the council was now discussing.

Cursing under muttered whispers, he thought this meeting would grab half his living life away. It was normal for him to be patient when it comes to such important meetings, but this was practically insane! It had only been a couple of hours and it seems that they had passed two millennia by that time.

Though he cannot do anything about it, he wanted to dash out of the dull halls of the room and head for the nearest headquarters for relief without any warning. He didn't have the right to excuse himself out of this conference now held that he, himself, had initiated. This was which the other superiors had been thinking about. He had hours before this thing had opened; now he was backing off? Why the hell didn't he just visit the dumb room just about a while ago? Sometimes, he loved himself for his pride and ego, but if you might be asking right now, he wanted to kill himself for such traits.

Ezaria gave him a worried look, obviously asking what was wrong. She concluded that maybe something in his computer had jammed up, since he had been pressing keys incessantly. This was such a formal meeting he had started; now he hadn't got anything to say?

Brushing the thought off, she returned her view to Tad who was now talking about such budgets for energy suppliers for the gundams and the zaku's… which, honestly was boring everybody away with silent but hearable yawns.

Yzak gave his mother a reassuring look that everything was completely alright. If she might be asking if his body parts were still attached to each other, then it is. If she might be asking anything about relief, then he had given her the wrong, badly wrong answer.

Staring at his wristwatch with its hands tick-tocking too much slowly, he eyed the stupid thing, wanting to squeeze until each wheel had begged for mercy. He wanted time to stop for him, for pete's sake. This was too much to endure. Trying to tell everybody that the silver-haired commander was still breathing, he opened his mouth; trying to summarize the topic they were talking about and solve his problem with action…or rather, with words.

Looking at his good work now displayed on each one's face, he grinned to himself that the problem he was enduring would soon be over. Ezaria felt so proud upon his son's marvelous discussion to save everyone from drowning into complete boredom. Ah, now is the time to go.

Walking past anyone who would obviously be talking to him, he sped up, trying to get out of the damned room first. He ignored any congratulations the other council members were giving the commander away, even the chairman's because for now, nothing is more important than that of reaching the comfortable headqua—

"Shiho!" he stopped thinking anything as he sighted the certain brown-haired elite pilot of the Guais gundam now walking mindlessly around the halls.

"Commander?" she said with alert, saluting in response. She did not actually expect his captain walking through these halls after an exhilarating meeting. Usually, the superiors would spend the entire meeting down to their own headquarters, but she saw him now speeding up to her, nearing both their distances. She didn't know what came to her that she was now faintly blushing at the sight of her silver-haired commander now coming up to her.

"Uhm…yeah, listen," out of his excitement heading towards who-knows-where, he didn't feel talking formally at the sight of himself now pulling a grip on his waist to keep it from crawling to his stomach, "we will be resuming our meeting that was paused last time due to an unexpected attack from the EA, be sure to go to the meeting halls where we always hold our conferences, okay? Wait for me an hour from now, confirmed?"

"Yes, sir!" Shiho had actually screamed. She stiffly raised her hand up high for the proper salute, but one thing seemed to bother her.

" Question, sir!"

"What?" he didn't care anything about military formalities now, because if he did, he didn't know if he would still stay in his right mind lasting years in this service.

"Why won't we hold it now, I mean, the meeting would only last half an hour or so."

"Hahnenfuss, I have something important to do. Please, wait for me an hour from now." Yzak replied, giving Shiho a look to bring this conversation to a halt at once.

Shiho grinned as she now heard everything from her own commander's mouth. Okay, so he has something important to do, so why won't she wait?

"Yes, sir, I will notify other team mem—"

"No, no, I will be notifying them myself, thank you."

If he had something really important to do, then he would have given the pilot the responsibility to acknowledge the team. Smiling evilly, she understood her captain so well. Holding up her arm for her final salute, she quietly stared at her handsome commander now speeding up to the nearest headquarters for relief. She snickered to herself as she went the other way around.

"That was a good move! Even now at the brink of insanity, I have formulated a believable tactic to ask her out!" he was so proud about having to think an excuse to ask his team member out right in the middle of his horrifying dilemma.

Speeding up to the room filled with three or so soldiers fixing their uniform, he entered the nearest vacant cubicle to get his much-needed relief.

Pulling his uniform up halfway up to his body, he recalled the thoughts he had this day. He cannot believe that out of mostly thousands of intelligent coordinators' population walking unknowingly around ZAFT', not one of them even fixed the most important room in his headquarters. Which else was it? It was his bathroom. And now he had to be dragged in this public comfort room just to release his own version of flames.

Minutes from then, he held out a sigh of liberation out of his own battle. He kept up with this for hours, and he knew he deserved this award. Brushing his smooth hair back, he took a glimpse from his wristwatch again, indicating that his meeting would only be half an hour from then. Grinning idiotically, it was time for the certain tree product to take action. It was the only thing the naturals have invented to be incredibly useful to him.

Stretching his arm down to his back, he tried reaching for this thing. He swayed his arm up and down, the long length of it did not seem to get where it should be getting. Finally touching the corner of the holder, he pulled it down slowly, getting excited to clean up…only to find nothing soft to hold.

He worriedly touched the empty roll now feeling its rough texture to the commander's hand. Maybe it was stress that had given him such a terrible delirium. He touched it more tightly now, thinking that maybe he was holding a pen or something that was long and was thinly round. Closing his eyes tightly, he turned to his back, facing his overwhelmed body to fear.

He opened his eyes slowly, at first blurry. He didn't want to see such a terrifying sight. He wished he just went to Dearka's room for such comfort, but walking down to his room seemed like passing eternity. It was his nearest resort, and his feet were dragging himself here. And now, the truth had unfolded. Opening his eyes, he cannot believe this now flashing to each of his eyes' parts. He cannot swallow nor register to his brain what he was seeing. This was so wrong, so wrong.

He never imagined himself seeing something so empty before.

There was no tissue.

He cursed and swore anything he can think of. He wanted to shout at the top of his lungs. He felt his eyeballs were dropping off from his sockets. He thought his brain was not functioning as he felt the wheels stuck between each other. He cannot think well with what he was now looking at. It was now his fear.

"ARGH!"

What should he do now? How should he clean up? How should he get out from here if each minute, one goes in there to fix up his uniform, or just pee. Sometimes, they wanted to have a peek on what they look like. Oh, how he prayed Dearka's bathroom would be mercilessly leaking by then. For the first time in his nineteen years of living, he needed Dearka so badly.

Almost screeching, he messed up his hair out of his own stupidity and impatience. He was a commander. He was required to think of solutions for unexpected circumstances, but this was harder and far worse than receiving a scar or having to fight three escaped wild nuts!

He thought, and he thought. And he thought some more. He thought a lot more. He thought too much. He thought so badly he thought his head was thinking of self-destructing itself any minute by then.

"Solution number one:" he cited quietly so no one would hear his voice which would be ZAFT's most entertaining moment for Cosmic Era 73, "I get out of this friggin' cubicle with pride and reach for the nearest tissue roll."

He now held up his two fingers and exclaimed in a quiet gasp. "Solution number two: I would not. And my uniform's purely white! It'll completely stain and it would be so obvious, not even the most humble soldier of this military could prevent himself from laughing at the sight of a well-respected commander with poo-poo stains on his uniform!"

He held out a sigh of defeat. He might as well beg Shiho for forgiveness of making her wait. He will wait with all his might until the dumb bathroom empties. He will pray to anything, even to his shoe that it will be as soon as possible.

.!#$&():" ?-\;'.:.

An hour had passed and Yzak's butt was badly shivering now at the sight of it naked on the toilet. Every time he thought he could have his chance of quickly speeding up the next cubicle even without his bottoms, someone would crush his hopes down to the last bit. He felt guilty as he imagined Shiho now waiting for him an hour by then, and he didn't like the thought of she being mad at him. Not even one bit.

He just stared at the cubicle door without even thinking. He looked at the floor, gazed at the walls, and he gawked at the ceiling. He looked at everything his eyes were pointing to. He never thought he would reach this point of boredom. He sighed. There was no hope. He will be stuck inside this cubicle until the next day.

Then he heard gasps coming out of nowhere. He viewed some of the soldiers' boots turning into the same direction a new pair of legs was heading. The boots were stomping madly, heading towards his cubicle. He didn't know why he was sweating buckets by then, but he knew that something not good was about to happen.

And how right the former Duel pilot was.

The soldier stood there as long as possible. He probably wanted to have some comfort of his own, just like him before he thought that something this repulsive would occur to him. One of the feet was tapping then and there, but he cannot leave like this! After this, he might probably warn this soldier out of his own concern.

The boots stayed there. And other boots got out of the bathroom. Dearka? Dearka! The soldiers might have been surprised at the sight of superiority! This time, he felt like he had had Dearka for luck. He wanted to hug his best friend for the 911 help, and he won't give a damn what other people would think about him. He had his relief, and he wanted to clean the crap out of this relief and get it over with.

"Yzak" the voice said in an unbearably annoying tone. Dearka must have reached a note higher, because the voice he was hearing now was not as smooth and low as Dearka's.

"GET ME A STUPID ROLL OF TISSUE, AND GIVE IT TO ME, NOW!" he demanded.

"Okay…open your door and lemme reach the roll of the precious tissue to you."

He imagined him grinning evilly at the sight of his bottoms raised up to his waist.

Slowly, he reached for the knob, and unhurriedly turning it to open the damned door and get the dumb tissue, for all he cares. The door creaked, that made him close his eyes by the meantime. He blinked eyes for a better view of the tissue and get it from his best friend's grip.

Only to find a she.

A she whose name was Shiho Hahnenfuss.

"Here's the tissue, commander." She looked at him, and laughed at him for the longest time as possible.

Yzak turned away and displayed an annoying blush coming out of his cheeks.

And that is how Yzak did not stay inside the bathroom the whole night.

END.

The annoying kitty: How did Shiho know that Yzak was inside the bathroom?

Shiho raised her hand. "Because when he says he has something important to do, he goes to the bathroom directly and as fast as possible!" she exclaimed between grins.

The annoying kitty: Good girl.

Epilogue

"What brings you here, Shiho?" Yzak had asked her, not even looking at her.

"It is my duty to always bring service to my commander, sir." She replied, snickering at the very formal reason she gave her commander.

"Cut the crap."

"Every time you say that you have something important to do, you always head for the nearest bathroom, captain."

Yzak paused shyly. How could he have known Shiho would know very well about his actions?

"You waited for me, huh?"

"Yeah…An hour to be exact, sir."

"Sorry about that."

"Apology accepted, sir."

"Oh…so…the meeting is on?"

"Not really, sir. I thought you will be notifying our other team members."

"Why don't we just hold our own meeting down to the nearest restaurant down here in PLANTs?"

"And it will be a very formal meeting, yes sir?"

"Oh, very formal."

Yzak grinned idiotically as he placed his arm at the back of his most favorite team member.

Tsewet