"Oh…my god!" Marcy and Lisa were practically screaming when Tracy returned, triumphant, to the bar.

"Ohmigod," Marcy continued, collapsing on to the bar stool next to the ones Tracy and Monica had reclaimed. "That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life."

"This is nothing." Monica motioned to Rochelle for a refill on their martinis. Hell, they weren't going to be driving any time tonight, and watching Tracy work always made her…thirsty. "You should see her when she gets mean." She reached for her wallet, but Rochelle stopped her.

"These are so on the house," the bartender said. Her face was flushed with excitement as a crowd of lesbians crowded around to pat Tracy on the back. "I can't believe she got those girls to leave."

"Tracy has a way of making people want to leave the room," Monica admitted as she watched her sister-in-law bask in the glow of female admiration. "But even she has her moments of brilliance."

"So, is it true?" Lisa's voice had an almost childlike tone to it, sad and tinged with disbelief. "You aren't lesbians?"

Monica felt guilty as she took the free martini from Rochelle, who was also waiting for an answer along with Lisa and Marcy. "I'm sorry. We shouldn't have lied, but we…"

"Oh, come on," Tracy said as the last of her new fan club headed back to the dance floor. She grabbed the martini Rochelle had made for her, and took a sip. "You were gun-shy. The last thing you needed was a couple of straight women cramping your style. We didn't mean any harm."

"But…"

Marcy picked up where Lisa left off. The butch young woman seemed too depressed to speak. "It's just that, well, it was so nice to meet a lesbian couple who've been together as long as you have. As long as we thought you had been…." she corrected.

"We actually did meet in 1978," Tracy said through a sip of martini.

"It was hate at first sight."

"She married my brother."

"She tried to ruin my life."

Tracy smiled at her sister-in-law, then shrugged. "We have a history."

The three young women stared at them for a long moment, then just shook their heads.

"What a trip," Lisa murmured, and ordered a beer.

"So you're not lesbians," Marcy asked, still obviously clinging to hope.

"Sorry," Monica said. "Not a gay bone in my body."

"I've experimented," Tracy admitted, tapping the bar as she drained her glass. "Why is my glass empty, Roach?"

"Coming up."

"You've experimented?" Monica turned to the wide-eyed young women and shrugged. "This is news to me."

"Hello? All-girl boarding school? What was I supposed to do? Study?" Tracy rolled her eyes and turned back to watch the dancing. "Who wants to dance?"

"I heard somebody needed help with a broken-down Beemer?"

Monica and Tracy turned to see Alice, dressed in a white Saturday Night Fever pantsuit, leaning over the bar. "Alice?"

"Hey, Al! You made it!" Lisa stood up to hug Alice, patting her on the shoulder as she did so. "Where's Tina? You guys missed all the excitement."

"She had to work early shift tomorrow at the plant. Hey, Dr. Q. Hey, Miss Tracy," Alice said nonchalantly as she motioned to Rochelle. "Regular, Roach?"

"One Shirley Temple, double cherries, on the rocks, coming up."

"You're 'Al'?" Monica gasped.

"Al's famous here," Marcy said with a grin. "You know these ladies, Al?"

"Sure, I do." She nodded to Monica. "Dr. Q." Then she nodded to Tracy. "Miss Tracy."

Marcy, Lisa and Rochelle all turned and stared at Tracy, eyes wide.

"What?" Tracy said. When the three girls said nothing, she repeated, "What?"

"Nothing," Marcy said. For the first time, she looked…nervous.

Tracy let loose a heavy sigh, turning her attention back to 'Al.' "So, you can fix the Beemer?" she asked.

"Miss Tracy, I can build a Beemer with my Erector set." She took the Shirley Temple from Rochelle, downing it in a single gulp. "Give me something to challenge me, willya?"

"Oh, Alice, that's wonderful." Monica could see her night finally coming to an end, and all of a sudden she felt exhausted. "I can't wait to get home."

"Hey, I'm off the clock," Alice grumbled, leaning back against the bar to watch the dancers. "I come here to relax. What makes you think I want to go out in this storm and work on your car?" She shook her head. "I told Dr. Alan to have the oil checked, although if that's what happened, you're probably going to have to have it towed."

"Alice!"

"Look, it's probably just the wires on the battery. I noticed they were jiggling when I looked under the hood last week…" Alice took the second Shirley Temple Rochelle handed her.

"Alice, we're tired and we're drunk and we'd really like to get home some time tonight," Monica complained. "I'll pay you overtime. Please, Alice. Please, will you help us get the car started?"

"Well, you can't drive home like this." She turned to Rochelle and pointed to Tracy. "This one drinks like a fish. How many martinis did she have?"

"Hey! Monica was drinking, too!"

"Too many to be a designated driver," Rochelle admitted.

Tracy frowned at her. "Fink," she muttered.

"Here's what I'll do, Dr. Q. I'll drive you and Miss Tracy back to the QMansion in my pick-up…" She paused as Tracy let out a sarcastic "Ha!" Then she added, "Then I'll drive back to the Beemer, check under the hood, and see what I can do. I'm sure I can get Mr. Luke to come with me."

"You're not going anywhere with my husband," Tracy warned just as Leticia sidled up to her.

"Husband?" The girl gave her a hard look, then picked up Alice's drink and threw it in Tracy's face. "You bitch!"

"Hey!" Alice was between them in a second as Tracy geared up for a full-fledged barroom brawl. "Leave her alone." Marcy and Lisa each grabbed one of Leticia's arms, walking her quickly away from seething woman as Rochelle hurried to hand Tracy a stack of napkins.

"Alice, can we please get out of here before Tracy gets us all killed?"

"Me? She started it!"

"Wait one minute, Dr. Q. I said I'd drive you home, but I'm not on your time clock. You want my help, I expect to be compensated for my time. Basically, what I want to know is, what's in it for me?"

Monica sighed hard. "Oh, of course. Here it comes. The shakedown. How much is it going to cost me to get you to get us home?"

Alice moved in closed to Monica, towering above her as a slow smile spread across her face. "Not money, Dr. Q."

"What else is there?"

Alice waggled her eyebrows. "One dance. With you."

Tracy began to laugh. "Well, there you go, Dr. Not a Gay Bone in My Body. Pay up, so we can go home."

Alice shook her head. "Not her, Miss Tracy." She leveled a sultry look at the brunette. "With you."

Tracy gulped, her entire body stiffening as she saw the look of lust in the housekeeper's eyes.

"Well," Monica laughed. "There you go, Miss Hello? All-Girl Boarding School! Pay up, so we can go home."

Tracy rolled her eyes, grabbing Alice by the arm as she led her to the dance floor. "Oh, what the hell. Let's get this over with."

"Uh-uh…" Alice said. "Not this song," she said, motioning across the floor to the DJ, who nodded and switched the discs. The hard-pumping dance beat mellowed slowly into a slow, sexy rhythm as Donna Summer started singing, "Love to Love You Baby." "This song," she said, pulling Tracy in close.

Tracy stiffened, then relaxed in Alice's arms as the dance began in earnest. "So," she murmured into the polyester jacket Alice wore. "I take it this means I don't have to worry about you sleeping with my husband?"

Alice laughed and spun her around. "You're safe there, Miss Tracy."

Tracy nodded as the towering woman dipped her and twirled her back into her arms. "Good."

It was well after midnight when Tracy and Monica finally stumbled back into the mansion. Both were exhausted, bedraggled, and happy to be home.

They saw Skye sitting on the couch, reading a book, and just shook their heads at each other. "Where have you two been?"

Monica looked at Tracy, and Tracy looked back at her, and they both just shook their heads.

"We were at a lesbian bar, disco dancing and getting in bar fights," Tracy said without inflection.

"Alice rescued us."

Skye slammed her book shut and glared at the two women. "You know, if it's none of my business, just say so. You don't have to make up stories." With that, she stormed out of the room.

"She's exhausting, isn't she?" Monica said.

"Completely."

"I am going to take a hot shower and go straight to bed."

"Wonderful idea," Tracy agreed as they headed for the stairwell. "That was fun," she said as they both began ascending to the second floor.

"We should do it again sometime," Monica suggested.

There was a long pause as both women considered it. Then, at the same time, they both said, "Naah…."

The End