Frannie's Lament

by Tanya Reed

Well, we've finally made it to the end. I hope the ride was enjoyable and that you liked Meg and Frannie's little adventure. Thank you very much to everyone who reviewed. Since I had to type this up as I went (I only had a paper copy), you were very encouraging.

Disclaimer: I do not own Due South, and I am not making a profit from this story.

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Three days later, the day Meg left the hospital, she and Frannie had their debriefing. The two of them traveled to the little building that the three co-operating countries had designated as their base and gave their report to the Professor, who would be passing it along. The release of the information, and the subsequent tossing away of Renata and Angelique, made the two women feel freer than they had in a year.

As the two of them left the barn-like structure, Frannie looked over at Meg. The Canadian was grinning widely, a bounce to her step despite the sling over her shoulder and the very impressive shiner on her eye. She reminded Frannie of a loosed bird, and the American almost expected her partner to achieve flight.

Happiness filled Frannie as well. She had come through her first mission alive, and she had done a damn good job too. The pride she was feeling was a strange but welcome emotion, and she was grateful to Meg for allowing her to feel it. Never before had she had such a feeling of accomplishment. She could do anything she set her mind to. Anything.

Three men were waiting patiently for them, all leaning casually against the rented car. Frannie, who hadn't seen them for more than a few minutes at a time since their shared adventure, thought they all looked tired and older than when she had left them but happy. Fraser looked exhausted, but she knew that was due to his insistence on sitting up with Meg the whole time she was in the hospital. Frannie, who at one time would have been jealous, found his concern for her partner touching, and she hoped something lasting would come of it.

As Frannie and Meg approached, the men stood up straighter, Kowalski even running a hand through his electrified hair. Frannie felt warmth flood through her at his smile, and she was glad she had found enough time alone with him to have a little talk.

"All done?" he asked, coming forward to take her hand.

"Yup. All over but the cryin'."

"What'd they say?" This was Vecchio, who didn't even seem slightly surprised at her closeness to Kowalski.

"Well," Meg answered with a smile. "They've got the information they need about Mario's dealings and contacts. I guess he's flown the coop again; his estate is deserted. Hopefully, the information we provided will keep him from using the same channels when he tries to begin somewhere else. Lawrence was brought in by the English police today. If they can't get anything on him, he's been promised to the CSIS and the CIA for interrogation. He was definitely involved."

"Then Andrea's free?" Vecchio asked eagerly.

Meg gave him a strange look and shook her head. "The Pretender left for Australia this morning."

Vecchio's face fell, so Frannie changed the subject by saying cheerily, "The good news is, Meg and I are free for a couple of days, so the five of us can spend some time together."

"That's great, Frannie." Kowalski squeezed her hand.

"I'm just curious, sir," Fraser said, running a knuckle over his eyebrow.

"Meg."

"I beg your pardon?"

"It's about time you started calling me 'Meg'."

"Um...Well...Yes..."

"What is it you are curious about, Fraser?"

His momentary look of discomfort faded as he asked, "How did you and Francesca end up as partners?"

"Oh, I asked for her."

"You did?" Vecchio looked incredulously.

"Yes, I did, Vecchio. You should give your sister some credit. I was asked if I knew of anyone I would like as a partner, and I knew they were looking for civilians, so I suggested Frannie."

"But why?"

"Because she was perfect. I had worked with her before, and I trusted her." Then she gave a strange little smile. "With everything but Fraser, that is. I enjoyed her perspective when dealing with that mall stabbing, and I admired her style when working on the Bounty case. She was honest, and I knew I could depend on her. All these were desirable traits in a partner. Besides, I knew her, and she possessed an important quality that female agents sometimes need to use. The ability to manipulate men."

"Are you saying I'm a hussy?" Frannie asked in mock seriousness, causing Meg to laugh.

"I gotta tell ya, this is a surprise. I thought ya hated each other," Kowalski admitted.

"No. Just jealous of each other. We got over it," Frannie answered, giving him a possessive smile.

"So, Frannie," her brother said, "Now that you've had your adventure, when are you coming home?"

All the playfulness Frannie was feeling left her in a rush. She had been dreading this conversation since that night in Mario's study. How was she going to answer his accusations, and how could she tell him she was never coming home?

"We've got to talk about that Ray." She let go of Kowalski's hand and asked, "Can the three of you leave us alone for a minute?"

"Sure."

"Of course."

"Certainly, Francesca."

As the three of them walked away, Frannie witnessed something she never would have thought possible. Leaving Frannie's side, Kowalski went up to Meg and said shyly, "Inspector?"

Meg turned her best Ice Queen face on him, but Frannie could tell she was doing it in fun.

"Yes, Detective?"

The look melted away as Kowalski grabbed her and gave her a gentle hug. "I always liked you, and I'm glad yer okay."

"Why, thank you, Ray," she said softly, hugging him back with her good arm. "I've always liked you too."

Then, the three of them continued to move on. Frannie found that Kowalski's simple gesture had sent a shroud of well being to surround her. Her resolve for her conversation with her brother strengthened, and she was grateful.

As soon as the others were out of earshot, Ray asked, "Well?"

She turned to look at him. "Well, what?"

"You're coming back with us, aren't you? I mean, you've proven yourself. You've gained respect. Now you're coming home."

Frannie shook her head sadly. "No, Ray, I'm not. I'm not coming home."

He looked surprised. "You have to come home."

"If there's one thing I've learned, it's that I don't have to do anything. Life is about choices, and I can make any one I want. I don't owe my life to you or to anyone."

"Frannie, we thought you were dead! And now you're saying you won't come home?" She opened her mouth to speak but he continued, "How could you do that to us? Don't you know the effect this had on Ma? On me? On all the people who love you? That wasn't responsible, it was cruel. And I don't care how much you needed self-respect, it shouldn't have been bought with our pain!"

"But you..." she started, only to be cut off again.

"At least you knew I was undercover. At least you knew I was alive."

Anger burst from her, enough to meet his head to head. Vecchio against Vecchio. "We knew no such thing. For all we knew, you were lying there with a bullet in your head. We were left wondering, always wondering. Do you know what that was like for us? Not knowing whether you were going to come home? At least this was an absolute. At least you knew. When someone asked Ma how her daughter was doing, she didn't have to smile and lie. Who was more cruel, Ray? You tell me. The one who told the truth and made her live the lie, or the one who told the lie but allowed her to live the truth?"

Ray looked as if she had slapped him, so Frannie took a deep calming breath. "Look. I love you very much, but I was tired. Can you understand that? I was tired of being the dumb one, tired of being the one it was impossible to respect. If I couldn't respect myself, how could my family respect me? I needed to like myself, Ray, and for some strange reason, this has helped. I know now that I can do things. I can pretend to be someone else; I can react well under pressure; I can even kill a man if I have to."

He ran a hand over his head, his anger gone. "So, you're not coming home?"

"No, not now, anyway. Maybe not ever. I need this. I need to bring down scumbags that would hurt things that I care about. It's not all that different from what you do."

"But what about Ma?"

"You can tell her I'm alive. And Maria and Tony, but no one else can know. No one."

"If no one knows, you can't even come home to visit."

Frannie felt tears come to her eyes. "I know. But I'm going to get an apartment in Ottawa. I'll give you the number and you can come and see me any time I'm home."

He sighed but nodded.

"Please, don't be mad, Ray."

"I'm not mad anymore, Frannie. I just...well, I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too." Frannie gave him a quick hug. "Now, I suppose we should go get the other Ray. He's wandering the field looking lost."

Then, the two of them clasped hands and started to walk for the first time not as big brother and little sister but as equals.

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When Meg found herself alone with Ben because of Frannie and Vecchio's conversation and Kowalski's desire to see a cow close up, she suddenly felt shy. She couldn't remember much about the time after her shooting so, in essence, this was the first time they had been alone in two years. As she regarded Ben, she thought that two years hadn't changed him much. He was still so handsome that it made her stomach hurt, with eyes that could look right inside her soul.

The two of them walked along in silence for several moments, Meg trying to figure out how to say what she wanted to.

"How are you feeling, ma'am?" It was Fraser who spoke first.

She stopped and faced him, a smile coming to her features. It hurt slightly because of the bruising, but Meg didn't care.

"My shoulder is a little sore," she admitted, indicating her sling.

"That's to be expected."

"True. I must also look like somebody's discarded punching bag. Shirley Weber landed me a couple of good ones."

"Your eye is quite swollen." He looked sympathetic. "However, you are as attractive as always."

Meg felt herself coloring at the unexpected compliment. They were rare from Fraser and always made her feel very flustered.

To hide her embarrassment, she said flippantly, "Well, that's nice. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to join the CSIS-CIA beauty pageant this year."

She leaned forward, her good elbow propping her against a fence. She watched Kowalski in the distance, crouching staring a mild mannered young heifer in the face and, further off, Frannie and Vecchio gesticulating wildly as they argued. A slight breeze touched her face and ruffled her hair. She closed her eyes to feel it better, enjoying being able to breathe once more as Meg Thatcher.

"You don't know how surprised I was when Frannie said she saw the three of you in Mario's study."

The fence creaked as Fraser settled beside her. "No more surprised than we were when we spotted Francesca."

"I imagine not." Meg turned to look at him, noting that the wind was playing with his hair as well. It made him look boyish. "What are you doing here anyway? Why England?"

"I came to play a part in Wilson's funeral, and Ray and Ray came with me. When we arrived, Lawrence asked us to stay with him. We were not aware of criminal activity until we saw Francesca."

"A coincidence." She laughed. "Well, it figures. They do seem to happen around you, don't they?"

He smiled slightly back. "Sometimes."

"Life is never dull with you, anyhow."

"One could say the same for you."

Meg thought back over the passed year and agreed, "I guess you're right. I wouldn't trade it, though. But I could do without seeing Angelique again."

"Angelique?"

"My cover. God, I hated being that woman."

"A French woman?"

"Yes, why?"

Fraser actually chuckled. "You talked to Ray once, over the phone."

"Yes, I did. Why? What did he say?"

"Nothing important." He waved a hand. "So, when are the two of you expected to report in again?"

"We leave the day you do, I believe. Different plane. We've got to meet our supervisors in Ottawa for briefing on our next assignment. Then, we're promised at least a month or two leave." Then, she paused and looked away. "I was wondering if you'd mind my coming down to visit you."

"You are always welcome in my home," he said softly.

Her gaze quickly returned to him. "Really? I thought you might find my being in your personal space uncomfortable."

Fraser didn't answer, just shook his head.

"I have missed you, Fraser. You do know that you are a rare type?"

"Not so rare, I think."

"Modest too." She watched him turn his face away, anticipating a moment of discomfort. "I have to thank you, Fra...Ben. Thank you for saving my life. It seems that every time I'm in a bind, you're there to get me out."

Then, on impulse, she leaned forward to kiss his cheek. At that moment, he turned, saying, "Anyone would have..." His voice trailed off as her lips touched his. A jolt went through Meg, and she suddenly found it hard to breathe. They remained together, touching at the lips, for several seconds before she pulled away, intent on apologizing.

Her words died in her throat as she saw the slightly stunned look on Ben's face. He did not look as if he were embarrassed. In fact, his arms reached for her and pulled her body gently back against his. Work worn but tender fingers ran through her hair and then down her cheek.

"You kissed me."

She nodded, still unable to speak. Her body was trembling in awareness of him, and his smell was making her light headed. The hand on her cheek brought her face very close to his. Ben paused a moment, as if waiting for a protest, before leaning forward to kiss her again.

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It was hard to say good-bye. Frannie stood among her friends and didn't know if she could give three of them up. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes but she blinked them back, determined to show at least as brave a front as Meg.

Frannie clung tightly to Kowalski's hand in the busy airport. People rushed by them, often close enough to ruffle her clothes, but Frannie ignored them. She fought desperately to fix each face around her firmly in her memory.

Meg and Ben were standing close together but not speaking or touching as Meg and Vecchio bickered lightly. The two Canadians looked like mere acquaintances despite the romantic agreement they had reached. Frannie wished she could display that much detachment.

Though her brother was talking to Meg, there was an absent air to it, as if he did not know what to do with himself. His eyes were too bright and his jaw kept clenching. They were the only indications that he shared her unshed tears.

Lastly, her gaze fell on the other Ray, who was watching her as if she were the most fascinating thing in the world. His blue eyes were filled with the things she had been searching for all of those years, and the irony that she had found them only after she wished for something more was not lost on her.

As she watched him, her mind went over the last three nights. Images of touches and kisses and sighs almost overwhelmed her. It was like some beautiful dream and she hadn't wanted it to end.

"Flight 111 to Ottawa now boarding," came over the speaker and everyone stilled. Even Meg and Vecchio stopped the fond bickering that had been going on for the past few days.

For a moment, Frannie was torn. Desire to go home was almost too strong to fight. Then, images of the people around her patting her head when she did what they perceived as good, as if she were a favorite pet, sprang to her mind. It was enough to propel her forward to give Kowalski a crushing hug and a deep kiss.

"I love you, and I'll call you tomorrow. I promise." Then, seeing his heartbroken look, "If I could, I..."

He reached forward and put a finger on her lips. "Do what you have to do, Frannie. Then, come home to me."

She nodded mutely, the tears she had been fighting starting to fall. Meg's hand was suddenly on her arm, giving a gentle tug.

"Come on, Frannie. We've got to go."

Her Ice Queen mask was a little frayed and Frannie could tell she was not as unaffected as she seemed. Quickly, Frannie hugged her brother and Fraser, feeling their kisses on her cheek. She could see nothing because the tears were too thick, but she heard Vecchio's soft whisper of, "Come home when you're ready. We'll be waiting."

"Thanks, Ray," she choked, pulling away reluctantly.

"Ready?" Meg asked gently, the hand on Frannie's shoulder trembling slightly. Frannie nodded and the two of them moved towards their gate.

They were about halfway there when Meg stopped. Frannie looked over to see her partner's face was a mask of pain. Meg tried to take a calming breath, but it ended in a sob mingled with, "Damn." Then, Meg turned and ran back the way they had come. Fraser's arms were waiting for her. He pulled her close, kissing her face and whispering sweet words. The embrace only lasted a few moments, but when Meg pulled away, wiping her eyes, her expression was more natural. The Ice Queen had fled. As she came back to Frannie, she smiled softly to show her partner that she was all right, then the two of them turned back one last time. The men all gave a half-hearted wave, and Frannie struggled and managed a smile for them before the crowd hid them from sight.

Frannie was proud that her voice hardly shook as she looked at Meg and asked, "So, what do you think our second mission will be?"

The End